This one shot is kind of roughly based off a prompt from Darvey Valentine:
"Donna & Harvey are both out on a date and end up at the same restaurant. Both are distracted and jealous of each other's date"
Harvey had been considering doing something stupid, something reckless and probably selfish. His recent thoughts had brought him a lot of clarity to Donna's actions when he was dating Paula, better explained her decision to act the night she kissed him. Because he had been considering doing the exact same thing.
The last six months had been hell. He had finally been ready, had decided to tell her how he felt, that he wanted them to be together. He'd been working on getting to that point ever since he'd ended things with Paula. Working on letting go of the fear that had always prevented him from moving forward with her in the past. Then Scottie, of all people, had provided the final push, her words to him that fateful night, a pointed reminder that he shouldn't expect her to wait around for him forever, had been the final wakeup call he needed. And so, he had gone to find her, nerves spilling over, but determined to make his move, thinking maybe he would ask her out on an actual date, or even just hand her his heart on a platter and tell her he was in love with her.
But as he had tried to formulate the words that night the elevator doors had opened, and he watched his worst nightmare come to life in front of him. Thomas Kessler appeared and with it the realisation that he was too late, without him even realising she had found someone. Fucking Kessler, just the thought of the man's name made him see red. He hated him with every fibre of his being, even though he knew it wasn't justified. Was simply based on pure jealousy and the knowledge that, unlike him, Kessler hadn't wasted any time in claiming what Donna had offered.
He knew it had taken him a long time to be ready for her, for them, and he doesn't blame her for not waiting around for him to finally get his act together. But that doesn't mean it still didn't fucking hurt.
And so, he had spent the last six months berating himself for being so stupid and slow and afraid, for missing the thousands of opportunities he'd had in the past to make her his. Spent six months trying to distance himself from her but instead finding himself more and more drawn to her presence than ever. Six months of feeling sick to his stomach every time he passed her office and saw yet another bouquet of flowers from him on her desk, saw her talking on the phone with that look on her face that told him he was on the other end, or overheard her talking about him with Samantha or Gretchen. Worst of all were the times when he saw them together, the reaction through his body verging on the edge of a panic attack every time.
And each time he sees her a part of him, his heart he assumes, whispers to him that he should just tell her. That maybe if he told her how he felt it wouldn't be too late for them. That he should let her know she had a choice, another option that maybe she wasn't aware of. He had ignored the voice for months; Donna was happy, and he didn't want to ruin that for her. But it had only got louder the more time passed, as if telling him that he might soon lose her in an even bigger way, the thought of her showing up to work one day with a ring on her finger making him feel sick to his stomach.
He was in the middle of one of those internal arguments with himself, about whether or not he should act, when he saw her pause in his office doorway, clearly on her way out. He noticed she was leaving a little earlier than her usual time, no doubt off to spend the night with him. The thought made him feel nauseous. He looked at her standing there, effortlessly beautiful, the red hair that fills his dreams dancing around her shoulders, her blue dress hugging the curves of her body. God she was so beautiful, he was such an idiot to have let himself pass her by for so many years.
The voice whispered to him again and he wonders what she would do if he just walked up to her and kissed her, just like she did that night. Considers what her reaction would be, if she would handle it better than the awful way he had responded. He wonders if it would change anything. For a moment he seriously considered doing it, just so he could feel something, anything, other than the constant bitter taste of regret.
But instead he just gave her a smile, asked if she was heading home, pretended that her response about dinner plans didn't make him feel like she had just punched him in the gut.
"What about you? Anything exciting planned for your evening?" she asked.
"No, nothing exciting" and he tries not to flinch at his words, because technically it wasn't a lie. A Friday night business meeting not being the sort of exciting thing she would be referring too. Because he didn't want to explain his plans for the evening, feeling oddly like he was cheating on her due to them. And it was stupid. All he was doing was meeting with a potential new client who was looking for new legal representation. Madsen Industries would be a great score for the firm, and he was confident of closing the deal tonight. But for some unknown reason Gerald Madsen had insisted their meeting take place over dinner, and, more specifically, at Del Posto of all places.
Harvey had wanted to refuse, to insist on a different restaurant. But how do you explain to a man who was about to write your firm a seven-figure retainer that they can't have dinner at the restaurant of his choosing because that's where Harvey takes his COO to celebrate their work anniversary. The whole thing would have sounded idiotic. He doesn't even know why the idea of going there unsettled him so much. It's just that he always considered it he and Donna's special place, and he didn't go there with anyone else, ever. Thirteen visits in thirteen years, every one of them with her.
In the end he'd had no choice but to agree, but for whatever reason he found himself unwilling to mention the plans to Donna.
"Well I should get going" she said, seeming to sense his reluctance to discuss his plans further. "I'll see you on Monday. Goodnight Harvey."
"Goodnight Donna. Enjoy your dinner" he replied, wondering if he sounded believable, concerned his face was probably deceiving him.
God he was such a gutless idiot. He thinks about pouring himself a scotch, drowning a little of his misery, but he needed to keep a clear head for his meeting. He returned his focus to the merger documents he had been previously working on instead, willing thoughts of Donna from his mind.
Hearing the knock at the door, Donna finished applying the final touch of her lipstick, before grabbing her coat and handbag.
"Wow don't you look beautiful" Thomas greeted her as she opened the door.
She smiled at his words, enjoying the compliment. And besides she knew she looked amazing tonight. He took her coat from her, holding it out for her to slip her arms through, before catching her lips in a quick, sweet kiss as she turned back to him.
"I've missed you" he told her, his palm resting against her cheek as he pressed another kiss to her lips. Thomas had been away on a business trip for the whole week, and Donna had to admit she missed him too. They were at the stage of their relationship where they spent most of their nights together, switching between each other's apartments and she had definitely missed having someone to spend her evenings with this week.
"Me too" she murmured against his lips, before deepening the kiss further, trailing her hands from his shoulders, down his chest, enjoying the feel of his impressive muscles underneath her fingertips.
He pulled himself away before she could move her hands any further south, a little out of breath and clearly affected by her actions. "Ok we really need to get going right now or we'll never make it to our dinner reservation," he said grinning at her.
She contemplated just skipping dinner for a moment then, thought about dragging him back inside instead, certain that he wouldn't take much convincing. But the truth was she was famished. Work today had been hectic and she hadn't found an opportunity for lunch, the muffin she had quickly grabbed from the executive kitchen having worn off long ago. And she had been looking forward to a nice night out with Thomas, both for the company and the food.
"Alright, let's go then" she replied, the rumble in her stomach confirming her choice. He took her hand in his and lead to her towards the elevators.
She and Thomas had been together for a little over 6 months now. And she liked him, she really did. He ticked all the boxes, smart, funny, attractive, good. Honest and open about his feelings in a way Donna had never previously experienced in a relationship. He was affectionate and loving with her, and more than adequately skilled in bed. He made her feel loved and noticed and wanted. He was truly the perfect guy for her.
Which is why she hated, truly violently hated, that deep inside of her a very tiny, but still vocal part, continued to tell at her that he wasn't the one, that he wasn't him.
She pushed that feeling away whenever it surfaced, shoving it as far down as she could. Because she can see it with Thomas, a future, in a way she never has been able to with the men she has previously dated. Can see the possibility of marriage, children, having someone to come home to each day. She thinks that she can be happy with him.
Maybe she's even in love him. She knows not all loves are the all-consuming, overwhelming, earth shattering type. Maybe there wasn't anything wrong with simple, easy love. She wouldn't say she was settling, rather just accepting a different future than she had previously envisaged. A future that was actually a possibility. Because despite what that little piece of her heart keeps telling her, she can't keep living her life on the idea of maybe and one day. She needed to find a way to let go of the hold Harvey had over her and move forward with her life.
"So, where are we going tonight?" she asked as they settled into the back of the taxi, Donna realising that she had never asked where Thomas had made reservations for their date.
"Well, since we were discussing Italian the other night, I made us reservations at Del Posto" he smiled at her, obviously expecting her to be excited by the suggestion.
But at his words Donna felt her face freeze, felt all the air disappear from her body. Oh no, not there, anywhere but there, why did he have to choose there.
Tonight was meant to be about her and Thomas, reconnecting after a week apart and enjoying a nice meal following a long and stressful day at work. It was another opportunity to convince that little doubting part of herself that this is where she was meant to be. A further chance to push the splinter that was Harvey Specter from her heart for good. Something she knows will be impossible at a place so filled with memories of him, a place she goes only with him.
She tried to hide the shock from her face, tried to make her lungs function again so that she could say something, anything. Because she truly doesn't want to have to explain to Thomas the reason for her reaction. Obviously noticing her lack of response and startled expression Thomas's voice sounds concerned when he asks her if something is wrong, if there is a reason she didn't want to go there. She finally managed to drag in a lungful of air and respond.
"No, of course not, that sounds great" and she gives him a weak smile, attempting to brush off the moment, hoping she is convincing. Thomas however still seems wary of her reaction, so she starts to question how his business trip had gone, and thankfully he quickly gets caught up in his excitement about the progress that had occurred that week on his huge new deal. She forces herself to pay attention, respond appropriately, all the while feeling like her head was spinning.
She doesn't know why the concept of dining at Del Posto with Thomas feels so wrong to her, why it has so strongly affected her. All she knows is she desperately doesn't want to go there with him, unwilling to taint the memories of all the wonderful anniversary dinners she had shared there with Harvey. But the reality was, short of telling Thomas the truth or making up a lie about some sudden onset of illness, something he would undoubtedly see through not matter how good an actress she was, she had no choice but to go ahead with their plans.
Arriving at the restaurant Harvey tried to force away the flood of memories he and Donna have shared here, the evening one of the most treasured events in his yearly calendar. Their fourteenth anniversary is only a little more than a month away, and he wonders if she will still be willing to join him, or if the seriousness of her relationship with Thomas will make such an evening inappropriate. He pushes the thought away and attempts to refocus his mind, needing to get his game face on ahead of the important client meeting.
Reaching his table however he is surprised to find a woman rising to greet him, rather than Gerald Madsen, the company owner he was meant to be meeting.
"Mr Specter?" the woman held out a hand to him. "I'm Victoria Madsen. I know you were expecting to meet with my father this evening but unfortunately he has been held up coming back from Washington today, so he asked me to fill in for him."
He reached out to shake her hand and formally introduced himself. And he tried to hide the disappointment and annoyance from showing on his face, suddenly realising that his previously cocky assurances of landing Madsen Industries as a client had just taken a massive nosedive if the old man couldn't be bothered to attend himself and instead palmed the meeting off on a daughter who wouldn't have been able to refuse him. He knew a fob off when he saw one.
He obviously didn't hide it well enough though, because Victoria seemed to immediately sense the direction of his thoughts. "My father doesn't set meetings he doesn't plan on attending Mr Specter, and I tend to have better things to do than spend my Friday evening on a business meeting, so I assure you his unavailability is genuine."
Thoroughly put in his place by her bluntness he had to admit he felt like a bit of dick now for his initial thoughts. He had clearly misjudged the situation and the woman. She obviously held her position for more reasons than simply because she was the owner's daughter. And he also couldn't help but think that Victoria Madsen had just plucked his thoughts straight out of his brain in a way that only Donna could.
He looked at her then. She was actually quite attractive, a pretty face and friendly brown eyes, but all he could really focus on was the red tinge to her brown hair and how he's sure the dress she was wearing was the same as one Donna had. Christ, he felt like her presence was all around him, as though he was unable to escape being constantly reminded of her. It was this place. He can't concentrate on anything else, making him see elements of her in the woman seated across from him.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't going to suggest…" he started, but she simply waved a hand at him.
"Don't worry about it, it's not like you actually said anything," she said, tilting her head at him and he noticed the gleam in her eyes, clearly having enjoyed challenging him.
She was certainly an interesting woman, and perhaps in another situation he might have considered pursuing her. But he didn't think he'd score any points with Gerald Madsen if he started hitting on his daughter. And beyond that, the truth was he wasn't pursuing anyone these days. Just Donna, in his mind and dreams at least.
Trying to refocus and regain the upper hand he directed the conversation back to business. "So, your father said you are in need of new legal counsel, why don't you give me an overview of the situation?"
She nodded and dove into her explanation "Madsen Industries is currently involved in a complicated lawsuit which has resulted in a conflict with our current legal advisors. Therefore, we are looking for a firm to handle that matter specifically. However, we are also in the midst of a review of all our consultants…"
"Meaning when I win this case for you in record time, you'll be begging for me to take over as your lawyer fulltime" he jumped in, feeling his confidence return.
She raised her eyebrows at him, "Well Mr Specter, you seem pretty sure of yourself, so why don't you try and persuade me. Tell me why I should consider your law firm to handle this matter?"
He was about to answer, his mouth already open, ready to turn on the Specter charm and close the deal, when out the corner of his eye he spotted a glimpse of red. He felt his eyes, followed by his whole body, turn towards the sight, unable to look away from her. She had changed since work, an emerald green silk dress now draped tantalisingly over her body. He spotted him then, Fucking Kessler, his hand resting against the base of her spine as they headed to their table across the room. Harvey notices the smug look he wore on his face, clearly pleased about accompanying such a beautiful woman. As he fucking should be.
'That should be me!'
The thought growls through his mind. He mentally kicks himself yet again for being such an idiot, for being too slow, too afraid, taking too long. He is also unable to stop the hurt from stabbing through his heart at seeing her here, in their place, with him. He had always thought she kept this place for him alone, like he did for her. Had never imagined she would bring a date here.
"Harvey?" he hears Victoria call his attention and he tries to force himself to look away. However, at that moment Donna turned to settle into her seat, the change in her position now placing him in her direct line of sight. He could tell the instant she spotted him, seeing a jolt run through her body as her eyes locked on his. He saw confusion and surprise freeze on her face, before it was quickly replaced by what he could only describe as disappointment. He wasn't sure what that meant. Was she annoyed that he was here, that he was witnessing her date? Was she upset that she had now given away the knowledge that she didn't hold this place sacred to their history like he did?
Harvey sensed Victoria turn her head then, clearly curious what had so thoroughly taken hold of his interest. At the movement, Donna's eyes left him, moving to pour over the woman sitting across from him. He sees her purse her lips, is certain she clenched her jaw, a bitter look washing over her.
Thomas says something to her then, and her attention is drawn back to him. Harvey forces himself to do the same, focusing back on Victoria. She is looking at him curiously, an oddly surprised expression on her face.
"Sorry about that" he murmured clearing his throat. He felt a flush of embarrassment at his reaction to Donna's presence, and desperately tried to gather his train of thought. Forcing himself to concentrate he launched into his selling pitch for Zane Specter Litt, determined to ignore the redhead across the room, willing his eyes not to drift to her.
"Donna, is everything ok?"
She tried to pull herself together, rid herself of the shock that had taken over her body for the second time that night.
"Donna?" Thomas repeated, voice concerned.
"I'm sorry Thomas'" she shakes her head lightly trying to clear her head "I was just surprised to see him here."
He glances over his shoulder then, following her line of sight. He frowns slightly when he spots Harvey, undoubtedly confused why she would react so fiercely to simply finding her boss dining at the same restaurant. God could this night get any worse.
"Harvey" he says, and she senses an undercurrent of something in the way Thomas said his name. "I didn't know he was seeing anyone" he added.
"Me either," she responded quietly, "But knowing Harvey I'm sure it's nothing serious," she added, trying to sound flippant, unaffected. And Donna tells herself that it doesn't matter, that she doesn't care. That the sight of Harvey having dinner with another woman didn't suddenly make her feel like crying. She was with Thomas, she reminded herself, what Harvey did outside of the office shouldn't bother her.
She tries to focus on Thomas, on their conversation, but her eyes continue to drift back across the restaurant to Harvey, to his date.
She hates to admit it, but the woman is quite beautiful. Classy, well dressed, Donna knows Prada when she sees it, not least of all because she also owns that exact dress. The woman doesn't appear to give off the air of some flouncy meaningless fling Harvey was only courting for a one-night stand. She wonders how long they have been dating. How she had yet again missed the signs that he was seeing someone, tries to think of anything recently she had turned a blind eye too.
A wave of guilt washes over her at being so fixated on someone else whilst on a date with her boyfriend. She forces herself to concentrate on Thomas, forbidding herself from letting her eyes wander.
As the evening progresses, they both gallantly attempt to carry on with their respective dinners, but neither can keep their eyes from constantly fliting back to the other. When they regularly lock together both become trapped under each other's gazes, stuck in an infinite moment until one of their companions manages to prise their attention back.
Donna can feel the waves of frustration coming off Thomas. Knows that he is all too aware of her distraction. And she feels so guilty for her behaviour, but she simply cannot stop.
Harvey too knows that Victoria hasn't failed to notice his inattention. He knows his attempt to sell the firm has been weak and half hearted. Is certain that he has undoubtedly thrown away his chance of landing Madsen as a client. But he can't bring himself to care enough to stop watching Donna.
"I can't believe he brought her here."
That thought, more than any other, had been running through Donna's mind since the minute she spotted Harvey, the initial surprise at seeing him quickly giving way to the fierce hurt of seeing him here, with someone else. But maybe he did this on a regular basis, brought a date to their restaurant. Maybe he didn't even consider it theirs, the place obviously holding no special significant meaning to him at all.
"I'm sorry?" it's not until she hears Thomas's question that she realises she spoke the thought out loud.
She turned her face back to him, not having even realised that she had yet again subconsciously directed her gaze to Harvey, and she can feel her cheeks redden at having been caught out once more.
"Oh nothing, I'm sorry. What were we talking about?" she tries desperately to ignore her previous comment, but she could see the confusion and annoyance on Thomas's face, watches him turn his head to glance once more over at Harvey's table. He sighs deeply.
"Donna, what does this place mean to you? Because I'm obviously missing something here. You've been on edge ever since I said we were coming here, and it has only got worse since you discovered Harvey here."
"It doesn't mean anything Thomas" she says quickly, trying to brush off his keen observations and she wonders if her words are in fact not a lie. At least it clearly doesn't mean anything to Harvey. She doesn't even know why she had always just assumed they both kept this restaurant sacred, a place the both only went with each other. Harvey wasn't exactly a sentimental person, why had she so strongly believed he didn't go here without her.
"I'm not buying that Donna," Thomas replied, staring at her intently and she knew she wasn't fooling him. And she suddenly felt horrible for her actions tonight, having spent the whole evening thinking about Harvey, while she was meant to be on a date with him. She knew he deserved at least some level of truth from her.
"Look its nothing really, we just come here once a year, to celebrate our work anniversary." And whilst that was in fact technically the whole story, Donna still felt like she wasn't really telling him the truth.
"We…you mean you and Harvey?" and it is at that moment that she can see the realisation cross his face. An understanding, the final piece falling into place in the story he hadn't, until that moment, been able to fully form.
"I can't believe I didn't see it before," Thomas says softly and shakes his head, "You're in love with him."
Donna feels her mouth drop open at his words, and God she wants so badly to deny it, wants to tell him he's got it all wrong. Tell him that the person she loves is in fact him. But the words won't come and instead she hears herself unexpectedly giving him the truth.
"I don't know if I am Thomas. I just know that he's someone that I can't seem to figure out how to cut out of me. But I want to. And I have been trying to. But the truth is I don't know if I'll ever be able too."
The honesty of her words shocks them both, and a silence hangs in the air. Thomas eventually recovers enough to speak, "Well I guess I should thank you for being honest at least," he says, sighing deeply. "I really like you Donna, I thought we had a future here. And I thought you felt the same, but I think maybe I've been ignoring the signs all along. Because when I look back now it's so incredibly clear where your heart really is, and it's on the other side of this room."
His words aren't harsh, sad more than anything, and even a bit pitying. She thinks maybe she would have preferred anger, but she should have known that Thomas was too good of a man to react like that.
"I'm so sorry Thomas, I really am. I never wanted to hurt you," she feels the needs to explain further. "It was never my intention to use you, I wasn't just passing time here, I do really like you and I had hoped we would have a future too."
She can't believe this is happening, that this is where the night has headed. Cannot believe that she is breaking up with her boyfriend in the middle of a crowed restaurant, with Harvey's eyes lingering all over her.
"Donna, he's a fool if he can't see what's in front of him. You deserve better than that, but I don't want someone who doesn't want me."
"I know Thomas, and I'm sorry." She blinks back the tears she can feel forming. At that Thomas rises from his chair, buttoning his jacket.
"Goodbye Donna."
"Goodbye Thomas."
Donna feels the failure of yet another relationship settle around her shoulders and the tears that had been threatening finally spill over. At that moment her eyes once again lock with Harvey's, his expression unreadable as he takes in her tear streaked face. And suddenly the sight of him makes her furious. Because he was the reason for yet another failed relationship, the hold Harvey held over her, the hold he had never once shown any interest in claiming, had yet again made her to sabotage things. And once more she would be going home alone while he would no doubt be spending the night with a brunette warming his bed.
Anger starts to pulse through her veins, replacing the sadness, and she can no longer stand looking him, rushing from the table, needing to be free of this place and his gaze.
"You know Harvey, it's pretty obvious that you had no idea who I was before this evening, but I did my research on you and your firm before my father arranged his meeting. I know all about your reputation."
Victoria's words break through his most recent eye lock with Donna. Harvey had no idea what they had been previously discussing, and so for a brief moment he wonders if she's about to proposition him.
"So, let's just say I didn't expect that the supposed best closer in New York would blow up a business meeting and the chance of a new client because he was too busy staring at his COO all night as though he was in love with her."
"I'm sorry?" Harvey splutters, her words so completely unexpected, shocking his attention back to her.
"That is Donna Paulsen sitting over there right? Your firms COO."
Fuck was he really that pathetically obvious. He feels stunned, and a little embarrassed to realise he was so transparent.
"Yes it is, but I don't, I'm not….she's with her boyfriend" he splutters before catching himself. He was in the middle of a business meeting goddamn it, not a therapy session. Now wasn't the time to be discussing his feelings for Donna. "I'm sorry Victoria, you're right, I haven't been very professional tonight. I apologise," he said attempting to salvage the meeting.
"Truthfully Harvey, it's kind of refreshing. From all I had heard about you I wasn't keen on having you anywhere near my family's business. But tonight, I've just realised there's a lot more to you, underneath the cocky public persona."
He honestly doesn't know how to respond to that.
"So, I tell you what's going to happen now. I'm going to recommend we utilise your services for the upcoming lawsuit and you are going to go tell that woman how in love with her you are."
"I'm going to what?" he chokes out, completely stunned by her words for the second time in less than a minute. He couldn't believe either of her statements, that she was actually going sign with him after this dismal dinner, or that she expected him to just march across the restaurant and make a love declaration to a woman on a date with another man.
Victoria nodded her head towards the left, "Because I'm pretty sure her boyfriend just had the same realisation as I did." Glancing over, Harvey saw Thomas walking away from the table, directing a glare in his direction, while Donna appeared to be wiping a tear from her eye.
"Oh fuck" he groaned, it painfully clear what had just happened between the couple.
At that moment Donna looked up and their eyes locked again. He saw the hurt and sadness in her face. Watched as it seemed to morph into anger. He sat frozen in his chair as he watched her rush from the restaurant. Shit, what was he meant to do now?
"I'm serious Harvey. You should go tell her." Victoria was almost shooing him from the table with her hands, seeming almost giddy at the turn of events the evening had taken.
He hesitated for some reason, momentarily stuck until he watched the front doors close behind Donna. He bolted from his table then, rushing through the fancy restaurant without a care for decorum.
He pushed through the front door just as the cab she hailed pulled up in front of her.
"Donna wait," he yelled, desperate to stop her.
She turned to face him, and he could see the surprise on her face. But the anger was there as well, along with fresh tears threatening to spill over.
"Go back to your date Harvey" she snapped at him.
Fuck, why the hell hadn't he realised she would make that assumption. He had intestinally not told her about tonight's business meeting.
But what did it matter to her, she had been the one there on an actual date, there with her boyfriend. What did she care if he was on a date, she'd already picked her guy. Her assumption didn't explain why she suddenly seemed so furious at him.
"Unlike you, I wasn't on a date. It was a client meeting." And can't help the angry slant to his response or from further calling her out. "And so what if I was Donna. You were there with him remember? You're not the one who gets to be jealous here."
He's not sure what he expected her response to be, but all his words seem to do was further infuriate her.
"Oh, so we're back there again are we?" she cried, throwing her hands up in the air and stepping angrily towards him. "Let me guess, it bothers you, but it doesn't mean anything, right?"
"Of course it fucking means something Donna." He can't help but yell the words. "It's always meant something!"
His declaration makes her pause then, whatever else she had been about to throw at him disappearing as her mouth dropped open in shock. And he decides to just seize the moment, reaching for her, taking her face in his hands and crashing his lips against hers. He tries to pour the truth of what he is saying into the kiss, but she doesn't give him a chance, shoving against his chest and pulling away.
"What are you saying Harvey?" and her voice is wary, still apparently not understanding what he was trying to say.
"I'm saying that I want you, I want us to be together." He stares into her eyes intently, but he can't read her expression, and at his words she takes another step backwards, away from him rather than towards.
"You're just saying that because of Thomas, whenever I'm with someone you seem to suddenly get it in your head that you want me. Well don't worry Harvey, we're not together anymore, so I'm sure your sudden infatuation will disappear now." Anger is seeping from her words, and he feels himself wanting to snap back at her, but he can tell that she really believes what she's saying and it makes him realise just how badly he must have hurt her in the past for her to be able to think that.
"I was coming to tell you before I even knew about Thomas. Do you remember the night at the elevator?"
She doesn't respond, but he sees her eyes widen, a frown creasing her forehead.
"I know I've taken a long time to be able to admit it, but I'm here now Donna, and I don't want to lie or pretend or run anymore. I want everything with you. I need you to believe me when I say, I am all in."
He goes to reach for her again, but she holds up her hand to stop him.
"I can't" she whispers, her lip quivering and before he could say anything in response, she quickly jumped into the waiting cab and disappeared, leaving him standing alone on the sidewalk. He feels like his legs might give out on him, would not be at all surprised if he actually collapsed in that moment.
His chest hurt so much he briefly wondered if he was having a heart attack. But he knows it's only the feeling of his heart cracking in two.
Sitting in the back of the taxi Donna tried to make herself take deep breathes, needing her heart to stop pounding so crazily. It was all just too much. Less than an hour ago she was having dinner with her boyfriend of half a year and the next minute that relationship was over, and she was instead having it out with Harvey in the middle of the street. She couldn't process it, couldn't think her way through everything that had happened. The turn of events making her feel dizzy.
She had waited so long to hear words like that from Harvey, for him to finally be ready. But her heart still hurt from the way things had ended with Thomas and she was wary of jumping straight into something with Harvey so immediately. The whole situation was insane.
But mostly she was just suddenly afraid, because Harvey was all she can ever remember wanting, and the reality of him finally admitting he wanted the same petrified her for some reason. She found herself doubting his words, when previously all she ever had was faith in him. She doesn't understand why that had waivered now.
Her mind keeps coming back to his comment, that he had planned to tell her that night at the elevators, the thought stuck on repeat. Because she remembers that night, vividly. Remembers his nervous behaviour and his fumbling words and the strong sense she had that he had wanted to tell her something. Before Thomas appeared and stopped it all. And deep down she knows he was telling her the truth about that moment, his intentions. Which meant everything he had just told her was the truth. He honestly wanted this, her. He was finally ready and waiting and now she was the one doing the running. Leaning forward she gave the taxi driver a new address.
Harvey walked. His apartment wasn't exactly close by, but he thinks maybe it will help work away some of the pain. He considered going to her apartment but thinks maybe he shouldn't push her tonight. Maybe he will go and see her in the morning after she has had time to process all that happened tonight.
But he's worried that this thing between them may have been ruined forever tonight, and he doesn't know how he's meant to handle that, because there is no going back from the words they just exchanged. His heart continues to ache with every step, and he's pretty sure this is a pain he might never recover from.
He eventually reached his building, slumping against the wall of the elevator as it travelled up to his apartment, already thinking about the first of what is sure to be many glasses of scotch he is going to consume tonight. But on exiting the elevator on his floor he is instead confronted by the sight of red hair and green silk leaning against his door.
He bites down on the hope that immediately rises through his body at the sight of her waiting for him.
"You know you never did give me back my key," and she grins at him. The hope surges higher and before he can think anymore Donna walked towards him and straight into his arms, pressing her lips to his in a brief kiss before pulling away.
"I'm all in too."
He doesn't waste any time in kissing her back after that or taking her to his bed. And all Harvey can think is how perfectly natural it feels and that finally after all this time they are both exactly where they're supposed to be.
Six weeks later they decide not to dine at Del Posto to celebrate their anniversary, the memory of their recent visit still a little too fresh for either of them. Instead Harvey took her to the bar where they met, and in the very spot where she first placed her hand in his, he dropped to one knee and asked her to be his wife, to finally make official what had been fourteen long years in the making.
A/N - Thank you so much for reading, I always enjoying hearing your thoughts.