Chapter Fourteen - Future

"Come in."

"I hope it's not a bad time?" Sonea closed the door behind her – with magic, because she had still not properly regained her sense of balance and had to resolve to using her powers for a lot more than she was used to.

The Head of Healers sighed ever so slightly and put aside her pen. "It is always a bad time but nevermind that. What is it I can help you with? Are you feeling well?"

"I am, thank you, but that's not what I wanted to ask." She carefully lowered herself into a seat and didn't bother to hide her relief. It was a long way from her apartment to the Healers' Quarters, a fact which she had never realised until today.

Vinara observed her closely. "Lord Marin's report tells me that your recovery is moving along nicely. Is that not the case?"

"I don't think I am qualified to judge."

"Hmm. I believe you had a question?"

"I do. I assume you know that I was invited to Court yesterday?" The invitation and the complications regarding her escort it involved must surely have come through the Higher Magicians, and Sonea imagined that Vinara had been involved in the positive outcome. The Healer nodded. "I had a conversation with the Administrator on the way back from the Palace. He asked if I had any plans for the future."

"So you want to know if you can still become a Healer."

Sonea inclined her head. "I wanted to ask you first before taking it to the Higher Magicians. If there is nothing to be done, I would like to spare everybody the inconvenience."

"I am not sure what answer to give you. It would have to be considered thoroughly, and you will have to face the Higher Magicians immediately. However, it cannot do any harm to be prepared beforehand. You cannot join classes, of course, so you would have to work hard by yourself and find a trained Healer to teach you on top of that; there are some aspects of Healing that cannot be learned from books. Then there is the fact that your position comes with duties of its own."

"Akkarin will be taking on most of these; he is better suited for politics than I am. There is research, of course, but I think I should be able to handle the workload."

"Well, you've done it before; studying to advance a class in your first year. This would be even more, I'm afraid, but if you are determined to do it, you will most likely do as you please." Lady Vinara sighed. "I can draw up a schedule and try to find you a teacher and then we can present the idea to the Higher Magicians. I dare say they will not refuse you if you are properly prepared and determined. Not if I have any say in the matter," she added darkly, already reaching for a clean sheet of paper from the shelf behind her. Sonea took the scratching of her pen as a sign of dismissal, and rose to leave the office.

"I have Lord Marin's assessment somewhere here, by the way," Vinara called after her. "Your recovery is making good progress, better than I had hoped. You should be fine without the crutches soon."

Sonea nodded and thanked her, even though she found that last statement hard to believe. She had not used her own powers to look inward and examine her own injuries because she knew that her knowledge of Healing was almost ridiculously limited compared to that of a fully trained – and, most importantly, graduated – Healer, but judging by the pain that still shot through her leg every time she put a little too much weight on it, she would have thought that it would be a long time until she was properly recovered. Tonight, she would have to take a moment to get at least an idea of what was going on in her body.

Before returning to the apartment, however, she turned towards the Arena. According to Akkarin, this was where the final confrontation with the Ichani had taken place, but so far she had managed to avoid actually looking at it. It was not as bad as she had expected. A fight of these proportions between magicians this powerful should, under normal circumstances, have left half the Guild grounds in ruins, but neither the Arena nor the University appeared to have been damaged. There was a large area of the gardens that had clearly been reconstructed; the soil was rough and only occasionally covered by grass where previously there had been flower beds and neatly groomed hedgerows. Maybe it would look like that again someday but that was far in the future.

There were no benches or even tree stumps close enough, so she somehow wrangled her limbs into position until she was sitting on the ground, her bad leg awkwardly sticking out. She did not bother protecting her robes. It was almost midsummer and it hadn't rained in days, not to mention that on the ink-black fabric a few crumbs of dirt would never be noticed. Looking out over the scene, a shiver ran down her back. This was decidedly strange. She felt like this place should mean something to her, like she should have some kind of connection or at least the vaguest notion that it was important, but nothing happened. In the back of her mind, she had been hoping that being here might evoke her lost memories but that didn't seem to be the case. Instead of helping her understand what was going on with her, it only felt eerie and strangely unfamiliar. The last time she had been here, the gardens had been intact and she had been a prisoner of the Guild. Her escort had led her from the Dome, where she had spent the night after her involvement with Black Magic had been discovered, to the Arena, where Akkarin had been held. They had been banished from the Allied Lands after that, and on their way out she had not thought to look around once more. Did she regret that now? They had returned more or less in one piece, and it would not really have been 'a last look' but maybe if they had had to stay in Sachaka – or died before they could return – she would have felt different. Back then, she had resented the Guild too much to be sentimental.

"You are going to catch your death if you stay here," a familiar voice said behind her and she couldn't help but smile.

"If that happened, I think I would go down in history as the first and only person to die of cold in the middle of summer."

Rothen laughed and lowered himself to the ground with a groan. "I'm not as young as I used to be," he complained and rubbed his shoulder. "But you're right, and I am sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"You worry too much. I'm fine."

He acknowledged that with a nod and followed her gaze out over the rough surface of fresh soil. "This is not a happy view."

"That's what I thought. But when I see it, I don't feel sad, or scared; it's only a patch of earth to me." She could feel his eyes on her but she did not meet them. Thankfully, he did not say anything but waited for her to continue. "When I woke up after the Invasion I had no idea what had happened. My last memory is of the Pass just after Parika attacked us. After that, nothing until I open my eyes in the Healers' Quarters feeling like I had been run over by a herd of gorin."

There was a silence laden with shock, then: "You never said."

"I couldn't. I didn't believe it myself. Memories don't just disappear, normally. I thought I had gone mad. Maybe I have."

"Nonsense."

"How do you know? How would I know that any of this is real? Maybe I'm still unconscious and imagining all of this." With a sweeping motion of her hand she included the whole scene. "Maybe I'm dead. Of course," she added dryly, "I had hoped Death would be a little less unpleasant."

This, Rothen would not hear. "You are not dead," he said firmly, "and you're not mad. You are, however, going to come inside with me and have a strong cup of raka, because I won't leave you sitting here like this. If nothing else, people will talk."

She laughed. "I must be a happy sight for the gossipmongers. 'Have you seen her? Huddling in the middle of the gardens bold as brass as if nothing bothered her!'"

"There's little enough subject for gossip at the moment," he reminded her, albeit with a small smile. "And you cannot blame them for wanting distraction."

"You're right. As usual. I don't suppose you could help me up?" Somehow, they got themselves upright, neither of them without grimacing and clenching their teeth, and only a little while later Sonea sat in one of Rothen's chairs by the window and held a steaming cup of raka in her hands while his servant Tania tutted and disapproved and asked her to stay for dinner half a dozen times.

"I'm sorry, Tania, not tonight. Another time, I promise."

"You have to get a proper meal every once in a while," Tania huffed and let go of the topic.

Midday had passed by now; Sonea had not realised how late she and Akkarin had gotten out of bed this morning. But then, yesterday had been rather exhausting, at least for her, and Akkarin had looked a little grey when his brother left, too. Of course, he always looked a little grey at the moment and she probably wasn't much different. Tania was right, she needed a proper meal; she could hardly remember what she had eaten in the last few days, not to mention how much. But she was rather looking forward to dinner with Akkarin tonight, hoping they might perhaps pick up where they had left off earlier before she had interrupted to go and see Lady Vinara.

Embracing her old guardian as she left, she noticed him wince when he moved his shoulder to wrap his arms around her. "What happened?"

"Ah, an old wound by now. I was injured in the Invasion." Even without reading his mind she could tell that there was much, much more than that, but she also knew that if he wanted to talk, he would; she did not ask any further. She could hardly resent him for it after she had barely told him anything that had happened since she had been convicted of Black Magic. She did not think he would take it easily when he learned about her and Akkarin.

"How about I meet you after your last class the tomorrow? I won't be much help carrying things but I can still dismantle experiments, I think."

The look he gave her was odd, and she quickly averted her eyes. She did not want to be pitied.

"I would like that," he said quietly, and closed the door behind her.

Sonea stood on the corridor and did not find the will to move. Only the suspicious glances of the fourth magician who passed by her finally shook her out of her thoughts. Akkarin was just closing the door behind him as she came down the corridor; he carried a stack of letters in one hand and smiled when he saw her approaching.

"How did it go?" he asked, leaving the door halfway open.

A grin spread across her face. "I might just become a Healer after all. The Higher Magicians will have to approve, of course, but who knows, I might be lucky."

"They can't refuse; not without a very good reason. It will mean a lot of studying, I imagine."

She nodded. "I can handle it."

"I do not doubt that for a moment." He held up the letters. "I was going to have these delivered, would you care to accompany me?"

For a moment, Sonea was tempted to accept. Then a muscle in her leg twitched and shot a sudden wave of pain through her, as if she had been stung by something very big and very vicious, and she shook her head even as she drew on her Healing powers. "I think I need a break. But if you're sending messages, would you mind helping me get one to my family? I wrote my aunt from the Healers' Quarters but I'd like to let them know that everything is alright with us."

"Of course. I'll wait."

She handed him a quick note to the effect that she was recovering in much better than she had been and describing their new living situation, and sent him off with a kiss on the cheek. Akkarin squeezed her hand briefly. "Don't go anywhere."

"I wasn't going to. Now go, the sooner you leave the sooner you'll be back."

##

"Tell me what Lady Vinara said."

Sonea would have preferred not to, as they were currently alone with nothing to do for the rest of the day and she had a few things in mind they could use the hours for, but she complied: "I think she's glad I asked. As I said we'll have to get permission from the Higher Magicians but she promised to try and find someone to teach me. There's a lot I don't know yet but if there is even the smallest chance that I could be a Healer, I'll take it."

She had been half-asleep by the time he returned from his errand, sprawled across their bed with her robes half-undone. They were talking through the open bedroom door while she tried to unravel her hair from the birds' nest it had turned into.

"Either way, you need something to do with your time. Although I'm afraid we will have to start practicing fighting again, if we don't want the Guild questioning why they keep us. You will have a lot of work to do."

She shrugged. "I'm used to hard work, and if anything I'll be grateful for the distraction. One more week of doing nothing and I will start to truly go mad."

His chair scraped across the floor as he rose and came into the room; he grinned and sat next to her. "We absolutely can't have that."

"Oh, and why would that be?" Wrapping her arms around his neck, she drew him down for an artless kiss. It wasn't a comfortable position, with both of them twisting in ways that did not feel all that healthy and her tired muscles protested but she ignored it.

"I need you in full possession of your mental capacities." His lips traced a path on her skin from her mouth to her neck.

Sonea laughed. "I hope that wasn't meant to sound romantic because I remember you being better at that."

"Hmm." He had reached her collarbone. She couldn't suppress the shiver that ran along her spine, and it was his turn to laugh while her hands sought his shoulders and held on. "Are you complaining?"

"I didn't say that. Can you… I need to move." She repositioned herself so she sat a little more upright and could reach him more easily. "Where were we?"

"You were not complaining."

"Indeed, I wasn't. Say it again."

"I need you in full possession of your mental capacities," he murmured, grinning.

"No, I'm afraid it doesn't sound any better the second time." She ran her hands up through his hair, still longer than her own, and twisted strands of it around her fingers. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

He kissed the line of her jaw. "How very generous of you, my dear."

They both hesitated for the length of a heartbeat, waiting, testing the waters for the other's reaction. Then Sonea let her hands fall to rest on his shoulders, kissed him and decided to stop worrying for the rest of the night.

My dear friends, I am so, so sorry for the long delay but unfortunately that will probably be the way it has to be for a while. I started university in September and while I'm definitely having the time of my life it does take up a lot of attention and brain capacity. I'm still working on this, though, and I have great plans for our two favourite magicians!

All my love, Jo