Warning: This chapter is graphic, and some readers might find the content disturbing. If you have any TRIGGERS at all, please message me before reading so I can warn you without ruining the chapter for others.

CHAPTER 8

My Word Is My Bond

The gruesome sight of the women had my stomach twisted into knots. There was no way to maintain an appetite with them staring at me all the time, but I still had to keep up my strength and that meant eating. I'd learned quickly to ration what little food he deemed necessary to give me. Apparently one measly meal a day was all this prisoner needed. But despite my inner turmoil, I managed to force myself to eat the smashed peanut butter sandwich and drink the bottle of water he'd left yesterday.

As I held the bottle up and let the last few drops fall onto my tongue, I heard his keys rattling on the other side of the door. I barely had time to shrug the blanket off my shoulders before the door swung open. A blast of cold air swept into the room and he stopped to shake his head, sending snow flying from his hair. He had a rolled-up newspaper in his hand and gave me a taunting smile as he threw it in my direction. "Seems someone finally noticed you were missing."

It happened so quickly, I barely had time to react. I flinched just as it bounced off the side of my face and landed on the bed. Hungry for information, I grabbed it up, first noticing the picture of me and then the headline. "Trenton's Own Bombshell Bounty Hunter, Missing." I checked the date—January 1—and did a quick calculation. "Seven days," I muttered, and let the paper drop to my lap, shoulders sagging. All this time, I thought they'd been searching for me—that any minute Joe or Ranger would burst through the door—but they hadn't missed me at all. No one had.

"Took them long enough, don't you think?"

I looked up into his smirking face, his words cutting me to the quick. His whole body shook with laughter as he watched me crumble. I was so tired of it all. I just wanted to go to sleep. I wasn't even sure I wanted to wake up. While I was wallowing in self-pity, he snatched the paper from my hands, pulled me to the center of the room, and pushed my chest against the pole, locking my arms on the other side. I was stunned—incapable of rational thought. My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. Each inhale and exhale caused my breasts to rub painfully over the splintered wood.

My eyes were darting all over the place, looking everywhere but at him and the women. It creeped me out how their vacant eyes seemed to follow me, judging me. He came around to the other side of the pole, facing me. "Do you remember your instructions?"

Instructions? I didn't understand what he was talking about. I gave my head a quick shake, bumping my chin on the pole, but I was so scared I barely felt the pain.

"I spent a lot of time yesterday telling you about my wives and how we met. I warned you there would be a test. You should always listen to what I say." He fingered his belt, unbuckling it, and slipping it from the loops. "You will get a lick from this belt for every error you make."

Was he seriously going to hit me? I looked at him like he was was no way I could remember the dates and places of where he met these women after only telling me once. "Please don't do this!" I sobbed.

"There is another option," he said very slowly and with a creepy glint in his eyes.

"What is it?" I nodded quickly, ready to go along with whatever he had in mind. "I'll do anything. Just, please don't hurt me."

He tilted his head to the side, eyes becoming hooded. "You can make love with me."

I gulped and then my heart started racing triple time. I hadn't expected that… I should have… but I hadn't. I stared at him, trying to make my mind and my body agree with his demand, but I couldn't. I just couldn't do it. I wasn't stupid enough to think he was going to let me go if I succumbed to him. I glanced at the women. They had probably fell for the same thing and they didn't make it out of here. They were stuck in those cases while he brought the next woman before them for him to torture. I looked at him with a new understanding.

"Don't look at me like that." Spittle flew from his mouth, landing on my cheek. "Don't you think I'm handsome? Am I not good enough for you?"

I quickly nodded, trying not to anger him further. I wanted to say something to convince him not to do this, but my mind was blank. He stepped behind me, his clothes grazing my back as he looked over my shoulder at the women. "If you're not willing to make love with me yet then you need to prove to me that you are worth another chance. Now, say good morning to my wives."

My mind raced frantically. Half of my attention was on him, wondering what he was doing behind me and the other half was trying to remember the first girls' name. Jenny? Was that right? Yes, I nodded confidently to myself. That was her name, but the next one… ? Shit, what had he called her? He cleared his throat and I knew my time of stalling was over. The only thing I could do was somehow muddle through it. My voice sounded scratchy as I stuttered. "Good morning Jenny."

I paused to see if he was going to hit me, but when I didn't feel the belt, I realized I'd gotten her name right. My eyes moved to the next woman and I hesitated before taking a stab at her name. "Good morning… Sharon." I tensed as I waited but felt no pain. I was two for two and wondered how long my luck would last. I took a deep breath and tried the third woman's name, the one who was so badly beaten. "Good morning… Ashley." This time, my fragile nerves got the best of me and I had to see what he was doing behind me. I craned my neck as far as it would go but couldn't see his face. However, I couldn't miss the belt, swaying back and forth on the concrete as if he was itching to use it. I swallowed hard, so scared I could barely think straight. I faced the women again, relieved that I'd gotten that name right as well.

My whole body braced for pain as I took a stab at the fourth woman's name. "Good morning… uh… Kelly?" I heard the whistling sound in the air a split second before the belt hit me. The screeching howl that came from me was otherworldly. My breasts and stomach were thrust into the splintery pole at the same time a bomb was detonated on my back. My knees buckled and I slid down the pole, forcing slivers of wood under my skin.

I was on my knees, eyes squeezed shut, cheek against the pole, hugging it tightly. I whimpered and gasped for air until the burning slowly lessened. In my pain filled daze, I'd lost track of where he was in the room and braced for another lash. When I heard his belt dragging the ground as he walked away, I wanted to weep with relief, but I knew it wasn't over.

I drew in a quick breath when I heard him speaking. "Don't cry, Andrea. I'm sure she didn't forget your name on purpose." I slowly turned my head in time to see him rubbing the case of the woman whose name I'd gotten wrong. He seemed to be comforting her. As if he sensed my gaze, he turned around, flicking his belt against his jean covered leg, giving me a murderous look. I stiffened and quickly hid my face against the pole, hoping I hadn't just given him another reason to hurt me. My whole body sagged with relief when he turned back to the woman.

"That's not true. She doesn't like Kelly better." He shook his head as he spoke to her softly. "I'll make sure she doesn't do it again." I caught his profile as he paced. His eyes brighten as he smiled with superiority and turned back to Andrea. "I know you don't like the belt. None of you do, but you need to trust that I know what I'm doing. Her callous disregard for your feelings cannot go unpunished."

He rushed toward me and I thought he was going to hit me with his fist, but he went behind me, and stood impatiently shifting his weight from one leg to the other. I kept my head down, wishing he'd go away. He switched the belt to his left hand. The sudden movement had me squeezing the pole tighter. Without warning, he grabbed my hair and started pulling me off the floor. "Get up!" A pathetic whine spilled out of me as I fought to get my feet under me. "Even after you insulted her, Andrea is still willing to defend you." He let go of my hair, frowning in disappointment and waved his hand at the women. "Continue."

I keep my eyes centered on the floor close to the base of the cases. I was able to see the color of their dresses and hoped it was enough to trigger a memory of what he'd told me yesterday. I started where I left off and as each name left my mouth, I braced for another hit. He leaned in close, hissing into my ear, "Look at them while you speak." The sudden noise had me automatically jerking away, knocking the side of my head against the pole.

After I said the last woman's name, I breathed a sigh of relief. I couldn't believe I'd gotten them right. But I wasn't kidding myself, the rest was going to be near impossible to remember.

He pointed to Jenny. "Now, tell me how Jenny fell in love with me."

I closed my eyes and breathed in deep, my mind racing furiously as I tried to recall dates and locations as well as details of how they met, but there was no way I could remember. There'd been too much information. But I had to say something, so I took a stab at a date and when I heard his swift intake of breath, I knew I was going to pay dearly for my mistake.

"We met on June 8, 2005." He snarled. "Maybe this will help you remember." I jolted when the belt landed across my ass, knocking my mouth into the pole. I tasted blood and knew my lip had split open again. As I hugged the pole, whimpering and trying to breathe through the pain, he came around in front of me, red faced with rage and muttering. "Not only do you disrespect me, but Jenny, too. You better get it together. My patience is dwindling."

My forehead was against the pole, shoulders shaking with sobs. "Please," I begged. "No more." I didn't know how I was going to make it through this without him killing me.

"I warned you to pay attention when I told our stories… didn't I?"

"I'll do better… I promise. Just tell me one more time."

He leaned in so close I could feel his breath on my face. "You will learn that when I say something, I mean it." He straightened. "You may continue."

I tried hard to recall everything, but I couldn't. I'd been so traumatized when I saw what was behind the curtain, I could hardly think, let alone commit trivial things to memory. I gave it my best shot and by the time I finished what I remembered of the women's stories, I'd received fifteen lashes, and my backside was a flaming mass of flesh. There had been no lenience. The pain was so excruciating, my body shook with uncontrollable sobs.

He didn't try to hide the satisfied smile creeping over his face as he unlocked my hands from around the pole and relocked them in front of me. As he led me to the bed, I was in a daze, staggering like a drunk woman, each step tugging my skin, and causing pain to radiate from the back of my knees all the way up to my shoulders.

I waited by the bed while he went over to the shelves, my body shaking steadily, and my thoughts muddled, barely able to see through my eyes swollen from crying so hard. On some level, I knew I should be afraid, but I wasn't—I was just numb. When he returned, he was carrying a small tube of ointment. He put his hand on the back of my neck. "Lie down on your stomach." His voice turned gentle, not at all like the hate filled one he'd just been using while he beat me. I don't remember how it happened, but suddenly I was lying on my stomach and he was sitting beside me. "Just relax. This will help with the pain."

He gently rubbed the ointment across my shoulders down to my knees, covering every square inch he'd brutalized. "You should be thankful I didn't break the skin," he said as he swiped his palm over my flesh, creating a fiery friction that was unbearable. Every time I tried to ease away, he pressed down, making the burn intensify. "Why do you make me do it?" His hand paused. "Do you think I like having to discipline you?"

I held my breath, hoping he would finish and leave, but when his hand moved over my butt cheeks, the fog in my brain lifted and my whole body stiffened. All that pain I was feeling moments ago was forced to the back burner and fear took its place. His hand lingered, rubbing back and forth as if he was contemplating taking it further.

Please don't. I wanted to beg but was afraid anything I said would only end up encouraging him.

The longer he rubbed my ass, the worse my insides churned. When he finally swiped his hand down the back of each leg and put the cap on the ointment, I was so relieved I almost whimpered. As he got up and put the ointment away, I did my best to sink into the mattress and become invisible, hoping he was done with me.

My head was facing the wall, refusing the sight of him. I heard him exchanging the rechargeable generator and batteries in the lanterns. The lights had remained on since that first night, and I'd been grateful for that small concession. Now that I knew the dead women were down here with me, I'd have gone crazy with fear not being able to see them in the darkness. When the paper bag hit the bed beside me, I barely noticed. The last thing I remember was hearing the door close and him saying, "Next time you will do better."

I knew the bag held food and water, but right now, it held no interest. As far as I was concerned, death was welcome to take me. My mind was venturing into dangerous ground. "Where are you Joe?" I sobbed into the mattress. After my tears had run their course, I tried to think of the last time I was truly happy. It was the week before Christmas. Joe told me to pack a bag for fun and sun and whisked me away to Cuba. We stayed at an exclusive resort, right on the beach. At first, I was confused, we'd never done anything so grand as a couple, but then he explained how he'd been dreaming of diving these waters for years. We spent four glorious days lounging on the white sandy beaches and going on a few diving adventures. After my first dive, I told Joe I'd sunbathe on the deck of the boat while he explored under water. Since this was a once in a lifetime trip, I wanted him to have fun and not worry about helping me fumble my way through a dive.

On our last day, he arranged a romantic dinner on our private balcony, complete with champagne and soft music. It couldn't have been more perfect watching the sun set over the ocean while we ate. Right after dessert, he took my left hand in his slightly sweaty palm, and swallowed uncomfortably, but he never broke eye contact as he slid out of his seat, going down on one knee. "Cupcake—" he began.

The expression on my face had to have been comical. I was literally flabbergasted. My heart was in danger of flopping out of my chest. When he pulled a small velvet box out of his pants pocket and opened it, I stopped breathing. He'd actually bought a ring. It was what I'd wanted, but things were happening fast, and I couldn't think.

"Wha… What are you doing?" I stared at the beautiful diamond solitaire.

He smiled confidently. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"But the pool table?" I stuttered.

His brow furrowed and he shook his head. "What about it? If I remember correctly, you didn't have a problem with the pool table when I spread you out on it and did that thing with my tongue that drives you wild."

My forehead creased in confusion. It just didn't make sense. Everyone knows you don't get rid of your dining room table in favor of a pool table unless you're no longer interested in settling down. I wasn't going to let Joe get away with using sex as a justification for what he did. "You got rid of your dining room table and bought a pool table," I said, my voice rising in pitch, right along with my anger. "I thought you didn't want to marry me anymore." By the time I was done, I was yelling and waving my hands around. The more animated I became, the more his eyes brightened with desire.

He looked at me and blinked a few times. "Why would a pool table make you think that? It was just something I took in exchange for helping Bill Thompson paint his house." He smiled lovingly as he took my hand and slid the ring on my finger. "I've had this ring for over a year, just waiting for the right time."

My hand trembled and my heart raced. "You're serious?" I asked, darting my head around, pretending to look in every corner of our room. "Your Mom and Grandma aren't here like the last time you proposed, are they?"

He hung his head, chest shaking with laughter. "Am I ever going to live that down?"

I started breathing harder, bordering on hyperventilating. He was doing a damn good job of convincing me, but I had questions… lots and lots of questions. "But what about kids, and cooking, and being a housewife?"

"I'd like a kid or two," he said, quirking an eyebrow at me as he let that sink in. "But I don't think your talents lie in the kitchen or the laundry room," he said with a proud smirk. "You have your own set of gifts that I appreciate immensely."

My heart was urging me to say yes, but my head was telling me to be cautious, and then there was Ranger to consider. I had feelings for him that weren't going away even though he'd discouraged me at every turn. He wanted me in his bed, but he didn't want a future with me… not now and probably not ever. He was always clear about that.

I looked back down at the ring on my finger. "This feels so sudden. What about my job?" We've butted heads over my job—my friends—the way I live my life. I was afraid he was going to start making demands as soon as I said yes.

"What about it?" He sighed and got to his feet, realizing he wasn't going to get a simple answer.

I tilted my head sideways in disbelief. "You don't like it. You complain about it at least once a day."

"That's true. I don't like your job, but I'm not going to stop you from doing it."

"So, what's the catch, Joe?" I crossed my arms and sat back in my chair. "What do I have to change if I say yes?" It seemed to me it was the same old song and dance, he wanted me to make all the changes to be with him, and he made none. He started to speak, but I held my hand up for him to wait. "You're in contact with violent criminals every day; if we were to have a family, what exactly would I tell our children if their father got injured or died in the line of duty?"

"You're already trying to kill me off and we haven't even said I do?" He laughed as if my concerns were trivial, but I was dead serious. I gave him a look that told him just how serious I was. If we got married and had kids, what would I do if something happened to him? I didn't think I was capable of raising children alone. In fact, I knew I wasn't. He picked up the bottle of champagne and topped off our glasses. "I admit my job is dangerous." he said. "But I've had the training to do it as safely as possible and you haven't. I've been saying this from the beginning. If you want to stay alive, you need to get formal training. That's all I ask." As if he realized things had gotten too serious, his face broke out in a panty melting smile, and he gave me an alternative that was meant jokingly, but deep down, he was as serious as a heart attack. "Or you could always quit the bounty hunting business and let me take care of you."

I pressed my lips together, giving him an annoyed sigh. He knew I wouldn't let him take care of me. He was just trying to push my buttons. "I don't want to be difficult, but this is a bit out of left field, maybe I could I have a little time to think?"

He hung his head for a second and then pulled me up and into his arms. "Sure, take all the time you need, as long as the answer is yes."

The song changed, to one that was perfect for the kind of dancing in which Joe excelled. The kind of music that ignited a fire in my belly and brought my hips hard against his, our movements mimicking what we both wanted. Joe was a force I'd never had any defense against. When his attentions were devoted to me, it was as if no other person existed outside of us.

He placed our entwined fingers over his heart, tracing the ring that promised a lifetime of love and then his eyes darkened as he gazed down at me. "I love you so damn much," he whispered, his voice turning husky with desire. "I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, Cupcake."

Tears pooled in my eyes as I gazed up at him, remembering the cheeky young boy in the garage, and the cocky teenager in the bakery… and looking back at me now was the man they had become—the man I loved.

He lowered his head, ghosting his lips over mine, his tongue tracing my bottom lip. I opened for him. I had no choice. I was his and he knew it… we both did. He deepened the kiss, pouring his feelings into each stroke of his tongue. Heat pooled low in my belly, and when the song ended, he scooped me up in his arms, carrying me through the open sliding glass doors to the bed where he released my legs, letting me slowly slide down his body.

Our eyes locked and I held my breath, pulse quickening as he slipped the straps of my sundress down my arms, inch by slow inch, as if he had all the time in the world to savor me. At this moment, I felt like the most beautiful woman on earth. The dress was pooled at my feet, leaving me in nothing but a lacey red thong. Joe ran his eyes over my bare breasts, watching as my nipples tightened from just having his eyes on me. I drew my shoulders in, suddenly feeling unsure, usually we have primal, sweaty, balls to the wall monkey sex filled with lust, but this was more, this was making love, and it was the first time for us.

He sensed my reticence and ran his fingers lightly across the top of my breasts, teasing me with what was to come. My skin tingled with desire as I looked up at him through hooded eyes. I just needed to see him—to know that he was mine and we were together. Sometimes, I couldn't believe we'd found our way back to each other after all the years apart.

"We're going to take it slow and I'm going to love every part of this gorgeous body," he said at the same time his finger continued down my ribs to the indention at my waist and over the curve of my hip as if I was the most valuable treasure he'd ever seen. I closed my eyes and shivered.

He dropped soft kisses on my forehead, my eyes, my nose, before searing my mouth with a hunger that stunned me. I moaned my satisfaction into his mouth as he moved his hands back to my breasts and rolled my taut nipples between his fingers. His warm mouth moved to my neck, kissing me and breathing in my scent.

All thought left me when he leaned down and pulled one of my nipples into his mouth. My head fell back, pushing my breast forward, silently begging him for more. He knew my body well and gave me what I was begging for. He sucked my nipple harder, sending spirals of desire straight to my core, making me squeeze my legs together, searching for relief.

I was getting desperate. I needed to speed things along. I reached for the buttons on his shirt, unfastening them one by one, before pulling it off his shoulders, and tossing it aside. The sight of his broad chest dotted sparsely with hair, and his Eagle tattoo left me breathless. With the tip of my index finger, I pushed him back onto the bed. He gave me a sly smile, letting me know he could turn the tables any time he wanted, but for the moment he was going to let me take control.

Joe loved to tease my body until I didn't think I could take it anymore and only then would he give me what I craved. But this time, I was going to show him what it meant to beg. I crawled on top of him, straddling his thighs and kissed his neck with open mouth kisses, adding a little suction before I pulled my lips away. I didn't want to mark him… much. I made my way down his chest, kissing and nipping while my hands worked on getting his belt and jeans opened. Once I had them undone, I scooted off him as he eagerly lifted his hips, shucking the rest of his clothes. As soon as he was completely naked, he gave me a wicked smiled and twisted us until I was underneath him.

He grabbed hold of the side of my thong with his teeth and started sliding it down my legs. Watching Joe play cave man made me laugh but didn't distract him from his goal. He started kissing and sucking his way back up my legs until his broad shoulders had my thighs pushed wide enough that I was fully exposed to his hungry gaze. He looked up at me from between my spread legs with so much need in his eyes my heart did this funny thing in my chest. "You're so damn beautiful," he said as his nostril's flared. I held my breath in anticipation, waiting to feel the warmth of his mouth on me, but all he did was stare at the center of my heat, licking his lips.

Patience was not a virtue I possessed. I shimmied my hips, heart throbbing in time with my clit, wanting his mouth on me—bad. He smiled seductively, making me wonder what he was going to do next. I hissed out a breath when he parted my folds with his thumbs and pushed one of his calloused fingers inside. I couldn't have stopped the shiver if I'd tried. "You're dripping wet for me."

"Always." I was breathing heavily, telling him without words that I was desperate for more. In one long swipe, he licked from my opening to my clit, sucking me greedily into his mouth. I moaned as my back arched off the bed. While he continued to circle my clit with his tongue, his talented fingers were busy finding that magical spot inside me. As soon as his finger pressed against it, a zing of electricity went through me and I might have whimpered a little. The sensations were too strong. I started pulling away, making it hard for his mouth to stay latched onto me. He placed one hand on my abdomen, holding me still as he sucked harder. That was all I needed. My hips rocketed off the bed and I finally begged. "Please, don't stop," I screamed.

He worked me until I exploded all over his tongue and my vision turned dark. By the time I could see again, Joe's glistening mouth was smiling down at me in a proud grin as he licked my juices from his fingers. "You taste as sweet as ever." He leaned down and kissed me, letting me taste myself on his lips.

I was boneless, but he wasn't done with me yet. He gently scooted me to the middle of the bed, and got up on his knees between my legs, stroking his magnificent cock. "If you say, yes, you get to have this for the rest of your life." He grinned, knowing I was imagining him sliding into my mouth, and what I was going to do to him. A rush of power swept through me and I wanted to make him as weak and desperate as he'd just made me.

His cock twitched in anticipation. I leaned forward, putting my hands on the backs of his thighs for support… I had to taste him. I bit my lip, eyeing the milky liquid dripping from his tip. My tongue darted out, catching the drops and swirling them around the head before I slid the tip into my mouth and sucked. His eyes closed and he shuddered. "Fuck, Stephanie, what are you doing to me?"

His reaction filled me with power, and he nearly cried when I let him fall out of my mouth, the loss too much to bear. He didn't need to worry. I was just getting started. I licked from the underside all the way to the tip, paying special attention to that spot right under the head that drives him wild. When his leg started shaking, I slid the tip back in my mouth and took him down my throat, further than I had ever taken him before. He was so big I wasn't going to be able to keep this up for long. My throat constricted as I swallowed, making him groan and grab onto my hair—not pulling—but letting me know I wasn't going anywhere. And when I reached down, rolling his balls between my fingers until they tightened, his whole body started vibrating. He was seconds away from coming and I was ready to swallow it all. Before that happened, he pulled out of my mouth. My lips made a popping sound as my prize was taken away. He had his eyes closed and fists clenched at his side. "I can't believe I'm saying this, Cupcake, but you have to stop that, or it'll be over before it gets started."

Smiling cheekily, I asked, "Are you saying you can't handle this Jersey Girl?"

He grinned, in that way that promised pleasure untold. "I've never been able to handle you," he said as he shook his head. "I don't even try." The next second he had me on my back, his cock sheathed and slowly sinking into me, inch by glorious inch. Our fingers were laced together on each side of my head as he balanced on his elbows, gazing into my eyes as if I alone held every dream he ever had. When he was fully seated, he withdrew almost all the way, and sunk in again. Each thrust was harder than the last, until he was pumping in a rhythm that made my blood sing.

"Harder," I screamed.

He obeyed, thrusting to the hilt several times, making sure to rub against my clit with each stroke. I threw my head back and took it all.

"So fucking good," he growled.

I cried out as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through me. When the last of my spasms ceased, he sought his own fulfillment. His hips pumped deeply twice more, and then his cock jerked as he stilled inside me. When he opened his eyes, I seared this moment into my memory forever.

His arms gave out and he dropped his weight on me. I reveled in the strength of his sweat covered body, still feeling the aftershocks of my orgasm as he continued to pulse inside me. My heart was still trying to regain its normal rhythm when he fell over on his back and gathered me in his arms with my head resting on his chest. I breathed a sigh of contentment. "That was—"

Even though I couldn't see his face, I could tell he was grinning. "Yeah, Cupcake, it was."

"It's never been like that before with us," I said, breathlessly.

"I don't know about you, but I was giving you my best moves," he said.

I turned on my side, letting my hand roam down his chest to where the hair got thicker under his navel, playing and teasing. "Are you promising you'll give me that all the time if we get married?" I asked with a hint of smile in my voice.

"I don't know if either one of us can handle that on a regular basis." He tipped my chin so he could see my eyes, giving me a hopeful look. "Did I convince you to say yes?"

"I don't know. You are getting on in years. You might not be able to perform like that for much longer." I walked my fingers a little lower and he placed his hand over mine, stilling me.

"I might need a little break, but I can keep up. Don't you worry about that." He patted my hand.

This trip was turning out perfectly, and I was seriously thinking about just telling him yes and going home engaged. Eventually, we fell asleep in each other's arms with smiles on our faces. We were awakened sometime later by room service. Joe had prearranged a snack to be delivered at midnight. I sat up as he placed a tray of strawberries, mango's, and papaya's and a bowl of chocolate dipping sauce in the center of the bed. On the bedside table, he placed a bucket of chilled champagne and poured us each a glass.

"I'm a little surprised you suddenly want to marry me," I said as I dipped a strawberry in chocolate.

His brows drew together in confusion. "Why would you say that?"

Was he really clueless about why I doubted his sincerity?

"From the beginning you've been telling me not to get too close—too comfortable. No picking out kitchen curtains, remember?" I popped the strawberry in my mouth.

He blew out a breath. "That was a long time ago, and for the record, I'm counting on you to pick out curtains, and towels, and sheets, and anything else you want." That was a nice response, but before I gave Joe an answer, we needed to have a serious talk about fidelity and what marriage meant to each of us. Being in a semi relationship with Joe did nothing to lessen my fears of marriage, if anything it made it worse. His rumored sightings with Terry Gilman, and the way he kept our relationship running hot and cold, made me apprehensive to take the next step.

I pasted a smile on my face, dreading what I was about to say, but knowing we had to talk about it. "You know I have issues with trust." I looked down, my hand twisting the sheet. "My biggest fear is having my husband cheat on me again; I don't think I can recover from that a second time."

His hand came up to my face, turning me to face him. "Listen to me, Steph, as long as I'm committed to you, I will never touch another woman. You have my word."

I bit my lip, deep in thought. I wanted to believe him, but could I truly trust him? Was it over with him and Terry? And what about Ranger? Despite his stance on relationships, he was never far from my mind. All those questions took a backseat when I thought about what Joe and I just shared. He made me feel like I was the only woman in the world who could give him what he needed. I was ashamed that I doubted his devotion to me, but I still couldn't say yes. I bit my lip and asked, "When do you need an answer?"

"Take as long as you need, I'm not going anywhere. I want you to be sure about this because when you say I do, it's forever. Balls in your court, Cupcake."

I took that literally and gently grabbed hold of his balls. He had no objection, and this led to round two. After we were both sated, we lay on our sides, Joe spooning me from behind, lazily rubbing my stomach. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you'd gotten pregnant that night at the bakery?" His voice was so soft, I could barely hear him.

Silent tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, falling onto my pillow. I'd never told Joe that I missed my period. At the time, I could barely wrap my mind around it myself, but he was waiting for me to say something, so I decided to be vague and hope he'd move on to something else. "I try not to think about what might have been."

"After I left you that night, I thought about you a lot." I don't know why he was bringing all this up tonight, but whatever his reason, he wasn't going to stop until he'd said his peace. "All through basic training and Class A School, I wondered if there'd been a consequence for my carelessness." He nuzzled my neck. "I wanted to call you, but I didn't know what to say. Back then, everything seemed to be happening so fast. As soon as I graduated, I was ordered to the fleet and then I was stuck out at sea."

I had to tamp down the anger that bubbled to the surface. That part of my life had been painful, and I tried very hard to block those memories, but for a moment I lifted the veil. I wasn't normally late, but seven weeks had gone by since that night in the bakery and I was getting more and more anxious by the second. Mare tried to convince me to take a pregnancy test, but I was afraid to find out for sure. I wanted to at least wait until the end of Baton camp. Of course, Joe didn't know any of this. I never tried to contact him, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway. For a long time, I wallowed in my anger at him for having left me to deal with the fall out of what we did. I didn't want to talk about this then and I certainly didn't want to talk about it now. I ignored the pain in my chest and told him a version of the truth. "Getting pregnant would have been a disaster. Neither one of us were ready to be parents. We were still kid's ourselves."

He squeezed me tight. "Yeah. It was probably for the best. You know better than anyone what a selfish punk I was back then. I wouldn't have been good for you or a kid." He sighed loudly and brushed a curl behind my ear. "But I'd like to be a father someday. A better one than my old man."

A vision of Joe holding our baby came to mind and I had to stifle the sob that threatened to rip through me. Exactly seven weeks after the Tasty Pastry, I started bleeding and convinced myself I'd just been late and was never pregnant. I was filled with relief that my period had finally come, but there was so much blood—and pain—more than I thought possible. Tears flowed a little heavier and I sniffed. All these years, I let the lie I told myself become my truth. After all, I had no proof. I'd never taken the test or gone to the doctor to confirm. But deep inside—I knew.

"Are you crying," he asked, worried.

All that pain was a lifetime ago. Maybe one day I'd tell him what happened to our baby, but not today. "This trip was unexpected." I dried my tears on the edge of the sheet and tried to put on a happy face. "I guess I'm a little overwhelmed. The only thing I know for sure, is that you'll make a great dad," I said with confidence and then snorted. "It's me you should be worried about."

He lightly pinched my hip. "You'll be the best mom, and our kids will be the luckiest in the Burg."

I rolled my eyes at Joe's faith in me. "Who are we kidding? They'll be little hellions like we were." Neither one of us spoke for a while, each imagining our future, I suppose. Just as I was about to fall asleep, I said, "I'm not driving a minivan."

"Okay," he barely whispered.

I tapped his forearm. "So, you'll drive the minivan?"

"Hell no!" He grumbled. "We'll strap the car seat to the top of the SUV." I laughed as I poked him in the rib with my elbow.

As the vision faded, I was once again reminded of where I was and how hopeless my situation was. People always say that happiness is fleeting, but you never quite believe them. You always think, there's time to change things, time to do things, time to… live, but the truth is, everything can change in an instant. I took so many things for granted. I'd give anything to be back in Cuba, lying in Joe's arms, dreaming of our future, instead of living this nightmare. If I'd known everything was going to be stolen from me so soon, I'd have told him my answer was yes.