CHAPTER 10

Against the Clock

The past three days had proved to be the most excruciating days of Ranger's life. All his time and energy had been focused on finding Stephanie, only stopping for a couple hours to sleep when it seemed impossible to hold his eyes open any longer, but if he didn't stay busy, his thoughts turned dark. He knew all too well what kinds of torture Stephanie could be suffering and that's why he was doing everything in his power to find her. Ten days was a long time to endure and he was afraid she might be thinking about giving up if she wasn't already dead. That thought stopped him cold.

Images of her being raped or beaten assailed him. Suddenly, overcome with fury, he swiped a stack of files off his desk with the back of his hand sending papers flying across his office. His outburst did little to relieve his anger or make those images go away. He saw them every time he closed his eyes. He was so frustrated he wanted to destroy everything around him. He didn't understand how this could be happening. He'd put trackers in her car, her clothes, her shoes, even her phone and purse, and it still wasn't enough. He was a highly trained soldier who owned his own security company and he hadn't been able to keep the woman he loved safe. How was that for irony?

He could feel that she was still alive, but deep in his bones, he knew her time was running out. If he didn't find her soon, she'd die and then what would he do? He couldn't imagine his life without her. The process had been gradual, but somewhere along the way she'd become so important to him that it scared him. That was something he'd never admit to anyone. He was willing to let everything he'd worked for go down the tubes just to find her. He had every man working around the clock, running down every lead, but they still had nothing and nowhere to look. Not only were they hitting a wall with the investigation, but his company was feeling the effects of his quest to find her. He just couldn't care less. If Tank couldn't keep things afloat, then to hell with it.

While Ranger was busy searching for Stephanie, Tank was putting out fires for Rangeman. Clients were beginning to complain, and many had threatened to switch their accounts to the competition, a new company in the area called, Elite Security. Just like Batman had a nemesis, so did Ranger. His name was Cole Reynolds, CEO of Elite Security. He was taking advantage of Ranger's distraction to swoop in and steal clients away. If things continued, Ranger was in danger of losing everything he'd built.

Tank was well aware of Cole Reynolds' desire to put Rangeman out of business, and while Ranger was focused on finding Stephanie, he was going to make sure that didn't happen. His first order of business had been to call in every contract worker on their roster to take care of the day to day operations, which would help relieve some of the burden off the other Rangemen, but it still wasn't enough. Tank took it a step further and asked Ranger's uncle, Alejandro Menendez, Chief Operating Officer of the Miami office, to send everyone he could spare. His second in command, Tanks counterpart, Emilio Esparza, along with, Silvio, and twenty other men quickly volunteered. With this influx of manpower, Rangeman was able to continue serving their customers while at the same time allowing the Trenton Rangeman to devote their time almost exclusively to searching for Stephanie.

As the days passed, Tank grew more and more concerned about Ranger's mental health. He'd been holed up in his office, pouring over traffic cam footage surrounding Stephanie's apartment, the mall, and the bond's office as well as surveillance footage from surrounding businesses and private residences. They'd collected footage from as far back as three months ago. By tracing her movements, Ranger was hoping to get an image of the person who'd been stalking her or at least the license plate number. When Ranger's eyes got too tired to concentrate on the footage, he'd hit the streets, tirelessly interviewing contacts. Which meant Tank had to follow him around and make sure those he interviewed lived to see another day. Ranger was spiraling, and Tank didn't know how to stop it. If they didn't find Stephanie soon, he was afraid Ranger was going to do something rash.

Even though Tank was the one running Rangeman, he still needed Ranger's signature on various pieces of paperwork. He was posed outside Ranger's office, psyching himself up to knock on the door. He was the only one willing to approach him in his current mood, but he was also man enough to admit he was scared. He took his handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the sweat off his bald head. He sighed deeply and knocked on Ranger's office door, breezing in without waiting for an answer.

Ranger was sitting at his desk, bent over his laptop, studying the screen intently. Tank didn't miss the file folders with their contents strewn on the floor. He decided not to mention them as he placed the time sheet on Ranger's desk. "This week's overtime needs your signature."

Ranger didn't give a shit about the overtime. He didn't even take his eyes off the computer screen as he scribbled his signature on the paper before sliding it back across the desk. Tank took the paper and stood silently in front of Ranger's desk, wanting to say something to help his friend, but he wasn't good with words, and Ranger wouldn't appreciate platitudes anyway. Realizing he was out of his depth, he bent and picked up the files and instead of placing them back on the desk, he put them on top of the filing cabinet and left as quickly as he'd entered.

As soon as the door shut behind Tank, Ranger paused the video and let his head fall back on his padded leather chair. If he wasn't careful, he'd miss something important and that was unacceptable, not with Stephanie's life hanging in the balance. He rubbed his eyes, weary and defeated, his mind drifting.

For years, physical gratification was the only reason he'd bothered seeking out the company of a woman. He had no time or inclination to attach himself permanently to anyone. He made life and death decisions on the fly and didn't want to take anyone else into consideration. It was his life and he lived it without encumbrance—until her.

From the moment she walked into the diner, wearing that red silk blouse, unbuttoned a little too low in deference to the sweltering heat, he'd wanted her to notice him. Unfortunately, he was still establishing his street cred in Trenton, which meant he had to remain in character. Like any other woman, she took the time to scan his body and he knew she liked what she saw, but his homeboy persona hadn't interested her. Very few people knew the real Carlos. He always gave them bits and pieces of an image, but she ripped right through the layers until she saw… him.

Admittedly, in the beginning, he'd only wanted to screw her and move on to his next conquest, but over time she burrowed her way into his steel plated heart. She was special, the kind of woman who needed a relationship before she had sex. He could admit he'd been cocky enough to think she'd sleep with him in exchange for driving his flashy cars. It'd worked on other women, but not her. He hadn't set out to make a deal in exchange for her body, but he wanted her badly and he wasn't going to stop until he had her. After all, he was the master of the game. And she hadn't stood a chance.

He regretted how he treated her after their first night together. It was supposed to be a one and done—complete the act and her hold on him would be broken—but after his first taste, he was hooked. Now, more than ever, she was under his skin and he couldn't get her out. But right now, he couldn't get their last conversation out of his head. She'd been brave enough to finally ask him what she should have asked all a long and he'd been a coward not to grab hold of what she offered.

Four days before Christmas, he'd stopped by her apartment to let her know he was going out of town. She had no clue how significant that gesture was. He wouldn't have done it for any other woman—and there had been plenty over the years.

I let myself into her apartment and leaned against the kitchen counter, waiting. I could hear her singing off key through the bathroom door and smiled, knowing she was going to be annoyed I was listening when she wasn't aware. It amazed me how quickly the darkness lifted when she was near. We could be across a crowded room and as soon as I saw her, I'd feel lighter, more worthy. I didn't understand it, but I craved it and… her.

The bathroom door swung open, and she stopped short, clutching her chest and stifling a scream. "Damnit, Ranger! You almost gave me a heart attack." As usual, I gave her body a quick once over and thought about smiling again. She was wearing a Ghost Busters t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. I couldn't help but watch her breasts as they rose and fell with each heavy breath. "Am I going to have to tie a bell around your neck?"

I couldn't stop the slow smile from forming, showing her how amusing I found her. It didn't matter what was going on in my life, seeing her brightened everything. I stepped into her space, backing her against the wall, and raised my hand to tuck an unruly curl behind her ear. It was wrong of me to push her like this, but I couldn't stop. I had so little control where she was concerned. I nudged my hardening cock between her legs, the place I wanted most to be. Her eyes dilated and her breath hitched, but I didn't give her time to get skittish. Tangling my hand in her hair, I swooped in for a deep kiss that had my thoughts moving toward the bedroom, but no matter how much I wanted to strip her naked and slide inside her, that wasn't my reason for stopping by.

With great effort, I pulled back with my arms still locked around her waist. "I'm heading out of town." I looked deeply into her eyes for a reaction, but she had her own version of a blank face and I didn't like it when she wouldn't let me read her. I'd said it a hundred times before, but I needed her to know that even if I wasn't physically here, I was still taking care of her. "Tank is available if you need anything." She was always quick with her response and most times I took great joy in whatever she blurted out. This time, I wanted her to tell me she was going to miss me, but I didn't think that was going to happen. As messed up as that was, I still hoped she'd at least try to stake her claim.

Finally, she frowned, and I wondered what was running through her mind. I knew she was curious about where I was going and when I'd be back, but I'd trained her not to ask too many personal questions, creating a distance that bothered me on a level previously unreachable. I mentally cleared my mind. Thinking about things I could never have was unproductive. My life was a constant state of danger. I had a long list of enemies that was growing every day. The closer she was to me, the more danger she was in. I'd chosen this life for myself and now I had to face the consequences of it. But I couldn't stand the way she was looking up at me. To rid her face of the silent longing, I kissed her soundly. When I released her, the fog cleared, and she finally let her curiosity get the better of her. "Will you be back for Christmas?"

"Doubtful," I replied as I gave in to the need to feel her against me one more time and let my fingers wander over the tops of her breast. "I'll be in Miami."

Her eyes lit up. "Oh! Will you see Julie while you're there?"

"I've been invited," I said, already throwing up my mental shields to keep the pain from that long-ago decision at bay. It wasn't something I liked to dwell on. Contrary to what others might think, I'm not a heartless man. I never dreamed I would give my child up for adoption. I was just lucky Rachel and Ron allowed me to be a part of Julie's life, even if it was a distant part. Visiting my daughter was difficult for me, but I've never wavered in my belief that I did the right thing for her.

Stephanie ducked under my arm and walked back toward her bedroom. "Hang on a minute," she yelled over her shoulder as she disappeared inside. When she came back out, she handed me a bag from Barnes & Noble. "Can you give this to Julie?"

I had to admit, I didn't see this coming. To my knowledge Stephanie hadn't spoken with Julie since Scrogg kidnapped them both. I peeked inside the bag and found a hardback book with an eccentric looking spaceship on the cover. It was the fifth book in The Stargazer Series, by someone named, Nicholas Lazarro. "Babe?" I raised my brow in question and fell back on my standard reply when I was clueless as to what she was up to.

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as she went into the living room and sat on the couch. I followed, sitting in the chair across from her, eyeing her quizzically. Stephanie was good at sensing people's emotions. She detected I was uneasy that she and Julie had remained in contact and rushed to explain. "We went through a traumatic experience together, Ranger, and now we email occasionally, get over it." She rolled her eyes at me before continuing. "After missing a book signing by her favorite author when he was in Miami, she asked me if I would mind going into the city to get an autographed copy at the next stop on his tour. My train was late, and by the time I made it to the Barnes & Noble on the Upper East Side, Mr. Lazarro had already gone. Luckily, he'd left a few signed copies, and I was able to snag the last one."

Her explanation was simple, but I was poignantly reminded that I didn't know much about Julie, and maybe I was also a little hurt that Julie hadn't asked me to do this for her. This was one of those times I was glad I could keep my emotions off my face. But even with my blank face, Stephanie sensed I had questions. I knew if I remained quiet, she'd keep talking.

"It was no big deal, Ranger. I offered to go." She shrugged and turned her curious eyes back on me. "So, what did you get Julie for Christmas?"

"Cash." I told her, feeling confident. You can't go wrong with cash.

"Oh." She frowned.

"Oh?" I asked, lifting one eyebrow, wondering why she thought that was a bad idea. "Are you telling me you wouldn't be happy with cash?"

She clasped her hands between her knees and scooted to the edge of the couch, as if ready to explain something life changing to me. I couldn't wait to hear her reasoning. It was usually entertaining. "Sure," she said and shrugged for the second time in as many minutes. "Cash is good, but no one has fond memories of getting cash as a gift. Presents should be special."

I didn't know what she was talking about. Money was tight when I was growing up and the few times I'd received cash as a gift, I'd been thrilled. "She can use it to buy whatever she wants," I explained. "I have no idea what to get an eleven-year-old girl." I clarified, hoping it would be the end of this conversation. I had a plane to catch.

A slow smile enveloped her face and she jumped to her feet, heading for the kitchen. "Well, I guess it's good you stopped by, because I know exactly what Julie wants." When she noticed I remained in my seat, she motioned for me to follow. "Come here and look at this."

I checked my watch, and decided I had enough time to humor her a little more. I stood beside her while she booted up her laptop and pulled up a website called Pinterest. "What am I looking at?"

She turned to me, giving me an appalled look. "This website is a virtual corkboard for every kind of media content under the sun. You can pin things like pictures, recipes, outfits, or in this case… furniture." She typed in Julie's name and a new page opened. "Everything on this board is something Julie loves." She clicked on the picture of a bookcase with glass doors and it took us to the company's website.

I didn't know much about preteen girls, but a bookcase didn't seem like it would be high on their list of priorities. "You're telling me she wants a bookcase?"

"In her last email, she complained about her younger siblings destroying her things and since she's started collecting autographed copies of her favorite books, she wishes she had some place safe to keep them. This bookcase has glass doors so she can keep her books safe and still be able to see them and enjoy them." She clicked on the store locator link and it opened to another page. "Oh, good! This furniture store has a location in Miami." She picked up her phone and entered the number listed. "Let's see if they have any in stock."

While she talked to the salesperson, I wondered how this went from a simple visit to me buying furniture. Stephanie might be convinced, but I wasn't sure Rachel and Ron would appreciate me buying Julie a bookcase. She listened to the person on the phone and then held it away from her ear, whispering, "Does Rangeman Miami have a truck?"

I nodded.

"Good. You can have one of your men pick it up tomorrow and store it at Rangeman until you can drive it to her house on Christmas day. That'll be a terrific surprise." She smiled, proud of herself. I don't know why, but I've never been able to disappoint her. I took the phone, gave the saleswoman my credit card information, and disconnected. Oh!" Her eyes widened. "Now you have another problem."

I lifted one eyebrow. "I didn't have any problems till I came to see you."

Where most women would be offended, Stephanie only smiled. "I love it when smart ass Ranger comes out to play." Shaking her head, she continued. "But you can't bring Julie a present without getting something for her siblings."

Stephanie thinks I have ESP and I love how powerful that makes me feel, but the truth is, unless she's having sexual thoughts, I rarely know what she's thinking and even less how to follow her logic. They weren't my kids; I didn't see the issue. "I've never brought presents for the other children," I told her.

"Maybe so, but that was when you only gave Julie a card with money in it. Right?" She didn't wait for me to acknowledge that fact. She knew that's what I did and was already moving on. "They probably weren't even aware anything was in the card, so they didn't feel left out. I mean, what kid wants a card for Christmas when they're that age?" As if she'd suddenly solved the puzzle she'd been mentally working through, she tapped her index finger on her chin and then rushed to the hall closet, retrieving a large bag. She sat it on the coffee table and pulled the new Playstation4 game system out. "Hector, Lester, and I camped out at Best Buy on Black Friday. We waited in that line for hours so Lester and I could get one of these and Hector could get some other kind of gadget that I didn't even pretend to understand. I was going to give it to my niece's for Christmas, but then I found out Albert's mother already bought them one." As if she realized she was rambling, she smiled and slapped the receipt in my hand.

I barked out a laugh, feeling like I was being suckered. Before I could speak, she confidently added, "You do know I could flip this on the street for three times what I paid for it—right?"

I couldn't resist hugging her to me as I shook with laughter. "I didn't know stopping by was going to get so complicated—or expensive."

She pulled back and looked up, mouth twisted in mock pity for me. "I can't help it if you left things to the last minute." She shook her head. "That wasn't smart."

I gave her a quick squeeze and kiss on the forehead. "Now that I've been fleeced of all my money, I should go." I started for the door with heavy steps. It was getting harder and harder to leave her.

"Wait, there's something else."

I stopped in my tracks. How could there be anything else?

She ran to her bedroom again and came back with a small gift bag and a bright smile. "This is for you." She held the bag out for me to take.

She couldn't know it, but my heart was hammering in my chest. I hadn't received a personal gift in years… not since I'd left for the service.

I didn't take my eyes off her as I took the bag. "Me?" I felt bad that I didn't have anything for her.

She shrugged. "It's just a little something I thought might spruce up your place. That is… if you can find room in all that clutter." Her laugh was a little too loud and a little too high, telling me she was uncertain about whatever she'd gotten me.

I pulled out the contents, moved by the gesture. There was a small replica of my old Porsche Boxster and the green and white garbage truck that crushed it. I knew she was waiting for my reaction, but I couldn't look at her—I needed a minute. It seemed like this all happened so long ago. I'd fought my feelings hard, but when I showed up at the accident site and realized she could have been crushed under all that metal, I had to acknowledge my growing affection for her. That evening, I took her to Rossini's and without even giving it much thought, I told her about Julie. Only a handful of people knew of her connection to me and yet I sat at that table and told her I'd been married before and had a child. I dropped the bag on the table and backed Stephanie into the wall, saying with my lips what I couldn't put into words. I wanted to scoop her up and carry her to the bedroom where I could leisurely make love to her. "I didn't get you anything." I whispered into her neck after I nipped her skin with my teeth, marking her.

"You do things for me all the time," she said breathlessly and then seemed to come out of her stupor. "But there is something I'd like to talk about," she murmured in between kisses and trying to catch her breath.

I braced myself and managed to pull away a little bit. This sounded serious. I hope she didn't have another stalker. I nodded for her to continue. She hesitated, nervously biting her lip, but continued to meet my eyes. "You love me, right? In your own way."

I might have appeared unaffected, but that was because her question caught me off guard and I didn't know where she was going with this. The truth is… I've been in love with her for a long time. Many times, I found myself dreamingof a life with her, of being enough for her, but the things I've done in my past… let's just say I'd rather walk away than have her look at me with anything but respect. And then there are my enemies. Anyone of them could decide she was the ticket to taking me down. They could take her and use her against me or worse, kill her. She was anxiously waiting for my response. I should tell her no, that I didn't love her, that everything I felt was physical, and leave her alone, but I couldn't lie to her. I never had and I wasn't going to start now. I acknowledged the truth with a nod.

She finally breathed in deep and then sighed as if grateful her suspicions had been right. I thought maybe she'd stop with the questions, but that would have been too easy, and Stephanie was anything but easy. "Do you ever see us being more to each other than what we are right now?"

I took a step back, shocked that she'd asked me point blank. This wasn't like her. It made me wonder what was going on. She's the closest person in the world to me, but I keep her at arm's length by only showing her glimpses of who I really am. I know she can't resist a puzzle—and to her—I'm the biggest puzzle of all. I keep her interested enough that she doesn't demand more than I can give, and at the same time, it keeps her from totally committing to Morelli. I went so far as to tell her Morelli was stringing her along when I treated her no better. It was a shitty thing to do.

"What are you asking, Babe?"

She took a deep breath and went for it. "I guess I want to know if you're in love with me—the kind of love people build a future on."

This was it… the day I'd been dreading was finally here. Thoughts of someday offering her more had seemed like a harmless dream, but too many changes had to take place before that could happen. She deserved a man that would share every aspect of his life with her and give her a home and children. As long as she was happy, I could be content living on the fringes of her life. "I told you my lifestyle doesn't lend itself to relationships. The things I do make it hard to commit to a woman. I'm here right now and that's all I can guarantee." It was a cowardly response, but it was all I had.

She smiled indulgently, sadness filling her eyes at hearing my practiced speech—again. "Your lifestyle is what you make it, Ranger. If you wanted to change things, you would."

"What we have right now is all I have to offer." Every time I reminded her of the boundaries of our 'relationship' I lost a little more of myself. But my pain was nothing compared to what I saw in her eyes. I just didn't know if it was because she loved me or if it was because she felt rejected.

While I was still trying to figure that out, she placed both her hands on each side of my face, pulled me close, and kissed the hell out of me. I groaned, and pulled her body flush with mine, wondering what made her give in. I never thought she'd settle for what I could give her… but maybe this was enough for her. Just when I was ready to move her toward the bedroom, she reluctantly pulled her body away, her lips the last to leave mine.

"You have to do what's right for you, Ranger." She smiled regretfully, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "If friendship is all you can offer, I'll take it. But only friendship," she clarified and swallowed heavily. "The kind of friendship where we keep our clothes on."

The pain and sadness emanating from her, hit me like buck shot from a 20 gauge. She was finally standing up for herself and drawing a line. I knew this day would come, but I was an opportunist after all, and I'd take what she was willing to give, for as long as I could.

A new window popped up on the computer screen, alerting Ranger that the surveillance footage had come to an end. He rubbed his eyes while he tried to shake himself out of the melancholy of his memories. Since his mind had wondered, he had to rewind the video back the beginning. This time he was going to focus on the task at hand, but he couldn't help wondering if Hector was right. Would she be missing right now if he'd been brave enough to grab onto what he wanted?