A Kiss in Ba Sing Se

[A/N: This is an A/U story. The Toph character does feel inferior to Katara and so in order to compete for Aang's affections pulls out all the stops. Aang is a boy with near infinite power and is being offered love and comfort from the two girls most dear to him.

We all have deep inner thoughts and feelings. How do we open up about them?

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or titles to the characters of Avatar: The Last Airbender. ]

Chapter 44

Open Thoughts

"Too close," Aang screamed in his mind as those large green orbs held him fast."Why can't I move away!" every fiber of him seemed to shout as Lili advanced even closer.

The heat and press of her soft, full lips on his, sent a shiver down his spine. He instinctively opened his mouth as their tongues twisted about slowly, almost as if dancing. Aang kept his hands gripping the pillow in his lap, even as their heads bobbed and weaved.

Finally, with a loud gasp, the young airbender turned aside, breathing heavily.

"What is wrong master," she inquired, looking inquisitively at him as Aang avoided further eye contact. "Did I do something wrong, don't I please you?"

"You please me... too, too, much Lili," he sighed, floating further up on the bed and away from her. "I-I like you Lili, but I don't know you well enough to do this! Plus, Toph is the one I love!"

"By this, do you mean kiss? Many people exchange kisses as mere greetings. You needn't be so shy master. You're already an adult... knowing the ways of men, and I'm sure the waterbender is far more forward than me," she commented with a sultry wink.

Aang lifted an eyebrow, still afraid to look at the young woman. "She can be... a bit steamy," he admitted.

Lili smiled,"I can see that in the Lady Katara... especially with a handsome young man as yourself. What woman wouldn't love introducing the Avatar to adulthood. She is truly blessed."

Aang put together the countess' statement. "I think y-you drew the wrong conclusion Lili, when we talked before," he confessed. "I mean, yes Katara and I... have kissed... and touched, a little. But uh, we never… ya know… uh… did the do. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"So you are saying that you have never, crossed the valley, with her?" she asked in surprise, using nomad terminology.

He felt the heat in his fair cheeks, "Well, um, that's a really personal question Lili. It's not like I don't know how..."

The countess stood straightening her dress, "Once again, I ask for your forgiveness your Grace, for my... misunderstanding. You and Songbird now, I suppose, that was your first venture then?"

"You suppose wrong," he replied, finally turning towards her. "We've never..."

Again the countess appeared surprise, "But... this morning, the bed... the blood..."

Aang covered his face with a hand, "Ugh, that..." he sighed.

"Yes that," she exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips. "Are you denying relations with the princess?"

He swallowed hard, " Relations, no... but not the kind you are thinking about. We were fooling around and she... uh, accidentally, kicked me in the nose. It only bled a little... no big deal, but we never, ya know... did it," he told her with a half-smile. "Not that I didn't want to."

"Why that little cunning vixen," Lili said under her breath as she licked her full red lips.

"What did you say Lili?" he asked, not catching her last comment.

She smiled softly, once again sitting upon the edge of the bed. "It was of little importance master. But was is, is the fact you wanted to have intercourse. That is of the utmost importance. You of all people should be concerned with the spreading of your seed and the reestablishing of your people," she exclaimed as she inched closer towards him.

Aang clutched the pillow tighter to his midsection, feeling the ache of the erection grind into it. "Uh, I-I think Lili... again, you have the wrong..."

She shook her head slowly, knowingly so, "Oh no master. I know you burn right now. Your body is aflame with desire and if you were to remove, one said pillow," she remarked as she to pointed it, "... it would attest to the veracity of my words."

He wasn't quite sure what the word 'veracity' meant, but at the moment, that was the least of his concerns as he had run out of room to maneuver on the bed. His eyes were however locked upon her now open top, displaying her full and amazingly deep cleavage.

She suddenly stood upon the bed. "All I ask... all I want, my master... is that you would allow me, your humble attendant, to put out that fire," she breathed, straddling him and the last barrier of his virginity. "Please... allow me the honor of being the vessel that you ride into manhood!"

His heart was racing faster than an eel-hound. "Lili, looks like you plan to do all the riding!"

She giggled demurely. "If you wish to be on top, I'll gladly turn over," she offered, indicating the rest of the nearly vacant bed.

He took in a deep breath to steady his thoughts, "Are you serious about this? I mean, you just met me a couple of days ago and now you want to..."

She leaned in until they were nose-to-nose. "Of course I am... Aang. I am a courtesan of the court of Ba Sing Se. I have been instructed in many ways to please a man and..." she said as she pressed her cheek upon his. "I am also a nomad, so this shouldn't be strange to you at all. I have an Open heart towards you my lovely... warm... oh, so, manly Avatar," she exclaimed as she plucked away the pillow.

"Hey, that was mine!" he complained, even as her lips sank down upon his neck. "Hold on Lili... don't you think... this is a little too soon... being that we just met?" he stammered as he attempted to twist his blanket covered prominent protrusion from harms way.

She seemed to have anticipated this turn of events, sitting back upon his hips, causing his eyes to nearly cross.

"UUUhrrrrhgggg!" he groaned loudly, grabbing her shoulders.

She sat up slightly, kissing him on the cheek. "Too hard?"

He nodded and continued to groan in pain, "I think it's broke!"

She rolled her big jade green eyes, "That's impossible, for a human at least. If you weren't under that damnable blanket and wearing those bottoms, you would be in utter bliss right now master," she divulged with a disappointed frown.

Aang's eyes snapped to meet hers, "But what... what about your... uh... under-things?" he asked in a cautious whisper.

She sat back on him more gingerly this time. "This thing?" she asked as she pulled the thin blue laced pair of panties from her bra. "I took these off... sometime ago, just as, well... just say, in hope."

His brow furrowed, "So you planned this nomad?"

"Not at all Aang. I said, it was just a hope. But now I can fulfill it, with you. What matter how two Open Hearts recognize one another? The book says, that two hearts are beyond time or circumstance. We find ourselves with both time and the circumstance to fulfill a most advantageous role. You, to become a full-fledged man... and me, to guide you along that precious path. It truly gives meaning to my life."

He took a moment to study the hope that filled her face before speaking. "Nomad, I truly see the purity of your actions now, but my heart is not open," he exclaimed closing his eyes. "I'm so sorry, but my heart is not open Lili. I cannot accept this gift you offer."

Lili stared at him, her passion becoming pain,"Why would you lie to me Aang? I know you have an open heart or how else could you love two women?"

He shook his head, "Two? No Lili, only one. I love only one. Toph has asked that I keep up the pretense so that we have time to prepare a suitable response for everyone we will... effect so to speak. Again, I'm sorry," he sighed looking away from her.

"I cannot accept this! One need only look at the three of you together to discern the truth!" Lili announced beginning to raise her voice to almost a shrill. "Your heart must be open, but apparently not towards me, is that what you're really saying?"

The monk shook his head, "No Lili, if my heart were open, I would welcome you first," he told her looking up into her face. "But this heart... this twisted heart is closed to everyone else. I really can't explain it other way than to say, she is like the beatings of it. If you were to listen, you would hear, Toph-Toph, Toph-Toph, and nothing else now."

The countess giggled, "I see. Well, then there is room for me."

Aang lifted an eyebrow, "How did you come up with that Lili?"

She gently pecked him on the lips, "Because master, the book says, between every beat of the heart..."

"The infinite dwells," Aang finished the verse nodding his head. "I see it now, very wise."

"And as such I must awaken you to the fact that your heart is infinite," Lili exclaimed in a voice that could melt stone. "You are the seed that will rebuild the Air Nomads. You do not have time for selfish ambitions and childish love games. Once you have been enlightened, you will surely put aside all these foolish notions and understand your true call. I will be there for you... when that time comes, master."

Aang swallowed hard, his eyes locked on hers. He was like a sparrowkeet under a viper's gaze, as his heart tried to pound its way out of his chest.

Lili smiled, seeing the hunger in his eyes form and it wasn't for food. She had seen this look in many others but knew his resolve as well. The countess rolled off of him and the bed to stand upon the floor.

"Aang, please, let us take this moment and make it all that it should be between two nomads. Sojourners in a bleak and lonely world, until we find kindred spirits."

The worried, nervous look vanished from his face, "I have found a kindred spirit Lili. Her name is Toph Bei Fong. We have shared many lives together."

She looked to the floor, clasping her hands, "So, master, would you deny me, one of your own, such worldly solace?" she spoke bluntly. "Are you closing your heart to your duty as well? Are you truly that selfish that you would not consider my feelings, my need to be open with you?"

He dropped his head, "It's not that Lili..."

She stared directly at him now, "Then what is it Aang? Don't tell me it's some primitive idea that you can find happiness in another person? You know as well as I do, that everyone in your life will inevitably disappoint you. You are doomed to fail them. True happiness is realizing this and caring for them despite the pain they will cause you. When your heart is open, then you can share this acceptance with so many more who feel only a conditional love. You were born to be bigger than this Aang," she pleaded with him.

The young Avatar placed a hand to his forehead, "I don't know anymore," he admitted. "All this time has me questioning everything I thought was true. This world is such a different place than the monks taught me about Lili."

"Remember Aang," she sighed, "...doubts and questions are the paths and foundations of faith. Only a fool never doubts or questions, the book tells us this. You are still young, but fate has chosen you to bear this weight. The good news is that you don't have to bear it alone. Toph and Katara, have already given you insight in the bending arts. Now, if you would allow me to teach you what I know, then the path of manhood will be revealed."

Aang turned and sat up on the bed cradling his head. "I just don't think I'm ready. As we kissed, I was thinking only about her Lili. The Open Heart says, that we should only be with the one we are with at that moment. Already I have violated that!" he cried faintly. "I-I like you, and you, are very tempting but... I want Toph. I want her so badly that it hurts right now. I can't accept you! Even with you right here in front of me! I am an Air Nomad, a follower of the Open Heart, so why is Toph the only one I see?"

Suki rushed out of the bath still dripping wet, only a bath towel that barely covered the essentials wrapped about her.

"Zuko... where is Zuko?" she screamed as she ran into the room, passing her boyfriend who had already started in on the buffet.

"He went to his room to bathe and change," he was able to answer, even with a mouth full of roasted arctic hen. "He figured since all the girls..."

Suki covered his mouth with a hand while holding up her towel with the other, "Katara... then where is Katara! She can help!"

Sokka pulled her hand away disdainfully, "Help with what Suki? Is somebody hurt?" he asked looking back at the bathroom door. "And why are you out here without your clothes?"

"Ssh... I have on a towel, thank you! Now, just tell me where Katara is Sokka!" she demand, glaring at him.

"Uh, yeah... a very small one. If you had any more boobs, there would be nothing left to the imagination girl!" he retorted with a loud snort.

Her glare darkened, "Are you really try to get on my bad side Sokka? Really?"

He started to rub the back of his neck nervously with a light chuckle, "Eh, eh, eh, uh... she's in the big bath with Toph, but I wouldn't go in there if I were you. There has been some... not so friendly sounds coming from that direction as of late, if you know what I mean... and I think you know what I mean," he exclaimed with a wink.

"Shit," she proclaimed loudly as she stomped her bare foot against the stone tile.

He now saw the quite perplexed look on his girlfriend's face. "Suki-kins, why don't you just tell old ,Sokka the Wise, wassup. I mean, if no one is bleeding out or requires special bending skills, ya know... I can certainly help," he offered with a toothy, meat filled smile.

She shrugged her naked shoulders, "I guess... all I have is you," she sighed shaking her head.

"You don't have to sound so enthusiastic about it!" he huffed, turning back to the buffet. "I guess it can wait for Zuko or Katara to get back from whatever they are doing..."

"Please Sokka... I didn't me anything," Suki pleaded grabbing his arm as her towel almost slipped away, revealing one of her perky set.

The slippage didn't miss the sharp-eyed Water tribesman's attention as he pulled her into a close hug. "So... my little sweet flower, what didn't you mean?" he asked as the towel twisted between them, uncovering more of her petite bosom.

"Sokka, stop it. There are others... walking about, this is embarrassing," she remarked quietly as her eyes darted about the room.

"You're the one walking about in a towel," he pointed out, staring at her freed pair. "Shall we go and take a bath?"

Suki smiled, "Yes... I mean no... no we can't!" she exclaimed covering herself back up.

"Ah... Suki, why did you put them away? I was enjoying those!"

"Later, I have an emergency in that bathroom over there," she told him turning him towards the door. "That girl is an emotional shipwreck!"

Sokka peered at her over his shoulder, "Girl, what girl? Was someone in there with you?"

The Fan master nodded, "Yeah, Miss Dark and Gloomy. I thought we could get some things put behind us and all, and my mom use to say, baths were a good place to talk. After we walked back from the old section of the palace, she was really quiet and all. She didn't seem that out of sorts, but I can never tell what mood she's in anyway. We were just chatting and then, for no reason, the girl starts crying. I don't mean like your normal crying either. It was like this... oh by the spirits, type of crying. You would have thought her mother had died or something. She was just blubbering and snotting and snotting and blubbering..."

"Okay Suki, I get the picture, remember I'm Katara's brother," he assured her. " I know all about blubbering and snotting and I see why you were looking for Zuko or Katara now. What do you want me to do?"

She started to play with his earlobe, "Well, you did say... you wanted to help her... and be her friend right?" she purred.

Sokka's eyes rolled up into his head.

He really didn't understand how he was now standing in the bath, in his sleeveless undershirt and pants, alone with the sobbing blade wielder. His memories to that point were a jumble and Mai's loud wails didn't help the matter.

"I'm so sorrrry... I'm so sorrry," she repeated over and over again, staring into the water between her intense jags.

Unlike his girlfriend, she at least had on a white robe, with another clutched in her hands as she laid on the stone floor.

The sight was heart wrenching as guilt swelled up in him. "Did I do this to you," he thought, covering his mouth to stifle a cry of his own.

Though she seemed dispassionate most of the time, she wrestled with her memories and emotions from the war. Now the faces of her victims were playing across the surface of the water, from one to another. She had lost count of how many had fallen at her hand, but now it seemed endless. She was apologizing, but the horror sometimes overwhelmed her to the point of tears. Tears that had not been shed for years.

Sokka sat down crossed leg at her head, staring into the water. "Mai, what are you looking at?"

She continued to look down, "So many, so many my lord. I-I've hurt so many..." she replied in a choked voice.

"The war... you're talking about the war right?" he asked softly, watching her ever shifting golden eyes.

"Oh so many. I thought, I thought... they were bad people. I was the bad people," she fretted a she began to weep bitterly once again.

He sat quietly, waiting until she calmed a bit, and started to look once more into the water. "Mai, you were taught they were bad. You didn't know the truth," he said, now stirring the water with a finger. "You were doing your duty, just following orders."

Her red-rimmed eyes now gazed over at him. "You... you make me feel. All this time, I've been able to shut it off, keep it bottled up... but then you came along. You know, your eyes are just like his."

Sokka blew out a long breath, "Like whose Mai, my eyes are like whose?"

She started to actually laugh a little as she sat up, still holding the other robe. "Suki... she was in this. I guess I scared her away. She slipped out of it and ran out the door. She really is a nice girl... ya know," Mai commented, wiping her runny nose with the back of her hand.

"I know," Sokka confirmed. "So are you."

Mai looked shocked. "Me... nice. Oh no. You really don't know me. Have you ever flayed the skin from a person while they were still alive or made someone watch as their fellow soldiers were being executed, one after the other, under torture? Have you ever made a grown man shit himself in fear... just for fun? Well, I have," she admitted, unable to look him in the eye. "You see, I'm a monster. Just like Azula and Ty Lee... we're all monsters. That's all that school ever produced. You either came out a whore or a killer. All for the sake of the Fire Nation an-and its glory... praise the Fire Lord!" she proclaimed before the sobs overtook her once more, burying her face into the robe.

"That's not you anymore," he stated emphatically. "I've seen you from both ends of combat. You only kill if you have to now. I've seen the look in your eyes, you take no pleasure in it. I don't know what you were like before, or what changed you... but you're different now."

She looked up from the robe, "If I have changed, then it's not a what, but a who that has changed me," she espoused with a weak smile.

Sokka returned it, "Then who is this... miracle worker, we should thank... Zuko?"

She tilted her head as she gazed into his eyes, "No, look into the mirror instead... my lord."

He sat aghast at her statement. "Th-that's impossible Mai. I mean... the first time, the first time I met you... we were enemies. You were trying to kill us."

She shook her head, "Correction, I was trying to kill them."

He cocked his head to the side, "Who might, them, be Mai?"

She dropped her swollen eyes, "Your sister and the Avatar... I admit, I was really trying to hurt them. But I saw you, snuggling with my brother, oh by Agni... I was... I was, moved. Then you threw that boomerang of yours, knocking away my blade. You not only disarmed me physically, you did something to my heart as well."

"B-but you chased us... after that. I remember you threw those darts at me!" he gasped.

"Did I ever hit you even once?" she asked with a smirk, "...or even nicked you? You know me my Lord. You know how accurate I am. I can take a gnat-fly on the wing, how is it I missed your big head or butt, all those times?"

"Uh, my superior speed and skill?" he proposed.

Now she really began to laugh. "Always with the jokes. I do love them," she declared.

Sokka hung his head, "Sure, glad I can brighten your day."

"Ahhh, I did I hurt your feelings my lord? I told you, I was a bad person... but you did help make me better. Just you being there," she explained as her saffron eyes began to glisten once more.

He put a hand over hers, "Tell me how. How did I help you my lady?" he asked, gently smiling at her.

She exhaled slowly. "The Assassin Master used to teach us not to think of our assignments as people, but as targets," she began to tell him. "My first outing, I do remember it. I had just turned 13, but as you probably can see, I was tall for my age. I am of the Agni Clan, same as the Royal family, so we possess a superior physical strength, even at a young age. My first assignment, well target, was a popular Fire Nation politician that had bolstered support among several Fire Nation colonies in the Earth Kingdom territories against continuing the war. His influence was even spreading to the Council of Generals and the Fire Lord wanted to make an example of him," Mai paused, closing her eyes as if in pain.

Sokka squeezed her hand, "If this is too much..."

"No, I'm okay," she retorted as she locked eyes with him. "I want to tell you. Will you listen still, no matter how troublesome it is?"

He nodded, "Sure, I'll listen to whatever you have to say Mai," he replied as she began to shred the robe with her lacquered nails.

"Thank you," she again replied with a slight bow. "Well, the plan was simple. I would go to the school his daughter attended, befriend her and go with her home. At the right moment, take out the target and leave the city. Sounds so easy... so... fucking easy!" she uttered, ripping at the tattered robe even more. "I was inexperienced, and very young. I had seen people killed... even helped in interrogations as part of our classwork, but never personally took a life. The girl, I remember her well. Her name was Kimi. She was a sweet little thing, a real bookworm kind of kid. The others teased her, but she didn't seem to mind or notice for that matter. I started to talk to her as she was walking home, and actually, it was fun. She wasn't some stuffy, boring noble that I had grown up with. She actually knew about the world and had her own opinion. When we got to her house, she invited me in and introduced me to her family, including her father. I ate dinner with them. We talked about religion, politics and a bunch of other things. I don't think I had ever been so entertained in all my life."

"Sounds wonderful," he said, feeling her tension rising."

"It was... it was," she agreed. "But I had a job to do. He was... my target and a traitor to the Fire Nation. He knew my father and I told him I had been entrusted with a message for his eyes only. When we went to his study, that's when I struck. I knew he was a formidable firebender, so I attacked from the rear, but I missed hitting any critical organs or veins. It just caused him a lot of pain. I remember plunging in a second blade and feeling how solid he was. It did more damage, but he was able to throw me off and turn to face me. I remember him saying, 'Ozai, that coward, sending a child to do his dirty work.' He was weakening fast but by now his family had heard the commotion and were at the door. Kimi, she looked at me with such shock and... betrayal. My third blade hit him in the gut and he fell back to the ground and I wasn't quite sure now on how to finish him or if his family was going to try and stop me." Tears began to stream down her face, "I pulled my dagger as I jumped on him, but he grabbed my wrist. I thought he was going to fight me, but... but instead, he positioned the point so I could strike cleanly. "Here," he said, "...push here." I nodded that I understood and then before he let go of my hands he said, "Not your fault... I forgive you, Mai." It felt as though he guided my hands and the knife then. I was just as shocked it was over. Kimi was screaming at me, but I really couldn't understand what she was saying. His wife, she was crying over his body and the smaller kids... well, they were pleading "Daddy not to die." but he was already gone. That was the last time... really the last time I think I felt, anything real, until you. So, do you think I'm still a nice person?"

Sokka raised her hand to his lips, kissing it. "I think, you were used by the state and by your parents. Now, to see you blooming before my eyes and to think that I might have helped you find your path... you're awesome Mai!"

Her mouth dropped open as her cheeks glowed bright red. Mai had thought that her humanity had died with that man, but now gazing into shimmering blue eyes, she has started to believe that she too could recapture something and maybe even forgive herself.

"Oh and about what happened between us, ya know in the rubble," Sokka said squeezing her hand more, "... I went to far. I violated you, and for that, I'm sorry. You are very beautiful and you deserve to be treated with the utmost..."

Her fingers were upon his lips. "You do talk a lot my lord. You did not take advantage, were advantage not given," she declared shyly. "I-I felt, alive an-and happy... at your touch. as I said, you make me feel, Sokka. I am so jealous of Suki... so very jealous, but our fates, are what they are. Thank you... for touching me like a normal woman and helping me to feel... normal."

He started to chuckle lightly, "I did nothing but fall into temptation. I am still sorely tempted even now."

She followed his eyes.

"Eh, uh, Mai... could you please... close your robe?"