A/N : Hey all. Told ya it was a sad one. Here is some more for you. Hope you enjoy.
Ch 2
Aubrey and Beca arrive at Stacie and CR's home for breakfast with their daughter, Sophia. Upon entering Sophia runs off to play with the other kids, and the two ladies sit at the kitchen island while CR has a batch of scrambled eggs cooking on the stove. Stacie comes in to greet them, offering the two ladies coffee. Aubrey and Beca made up the cups of coffee to their own liking while talking about how much they enjoyed the barbecue.
"You guys did a really nice job with the barbecue here." Aubrey told them. "I think everybody really had fun."
"Thank you." Stacie replied. "I'm happy we found a place with a pool. I know that's something the kids really enjoy. Who knows, maybe we could be the party house if we keep having successes like this one."
Stacie says wrapping around CR from behind, kissing her cheek. CR empties the pan of eggs on a large plate, and calls the kids to eat while everyone digs in. She cracks another egg in the pan to start an omelette for Stacie.
"Baby, do you know what you want on your omelette?" CR ask.
"Do we still have those sliced mushrooms?"
"Yeah, I think they're on the bottom shelf of the fridge."
Stacie opens up the fridge to look when her cell phone rings in the bedroom, and she hops up to answer it. Meanwhile CR ask Beca more about her pregnancy.
"So how have you been feeling lately?" CR asks Beca.
"Uh, not bad. The nausea isn't as bad these days. I'm mostly just tired and gassy." Beca says.
"Yes, very gassy." Aubrey teases.
"Hey you were no better, my dear." Beca says playfully nudging her wife.
All are laughing having a good time, but the laughter quickly subsides when Stacie returns to the kitchen in tears.
"Hey Stace, what's going on?" CR asks.
"That was Ashley's mom. She told me Jessica was in a car accident last night. She was driving home from work when a dump truck ran the red light, and hit her car." Stacie sniffles. "She didn't make it."
All of them were completely shocked by this, and couldn't speak. CR wrapped her arm around Stacie, while Beca layed a hand on Aubrey's arm as she noticed her wife wiping away tears.
"Oh my God, poor Ashley. How's she doing?" Aubrey asked.
"She's a wreck." Stacie told her. "Her mom has been there all night. I don't think either one of them got any sleep." Stacie sighs "Oh my God, I can't believe it. This is awful."
"We should go see her." Aubrey said.
"Yeah, I was thinking around eleven would be good. Gives them some time to sleep in a little."says Stacie.
They agree, and take the time to have something to eat before going to see their friend.
It's 10am when Ashley wakes up the next morning. She cracks her eyes open just staring at the edge of the pillow. She didn't want to be awake yet. If she wasn't awake, she wouldn't have to feel, if she didn't have to feel then she didn't have to hurt. Ashley thought if she could just stay numb for as long as possible, she could keep from crying again. While laying there, Ashley became aware of her mother milling around the kitchen. Madelyn has already fed Charlie, and sat him in his baby swing while making breakfast for herself and Ashley. She hoped she could get her daughter to eat something this morning. It was the least Madelyn could do to try, and get Ashley up and moving. Nothing anybody said or did would bring Jessica back, but Madelyn is going to do everything in her power to support Ashley through this rough time. Eventually Ashley mustered the energy to sit up on the couch while her mother brought her a cup of tea, some toast and a few eggs. Ashley picked up her plate, and nibbled a bit on her food, offering her mom a half smile.
"Thank you." Ashley said continuing to eat her breakfast.
Madelyn sat quietly next to Ashley, rubbing her shoulder. While they were both going through the motions this morning, Madelyn thought of Jessica, and how warm and friendly her smile was. From the time these two met when they were just kids, Madelyn remembered how great she thought Ashley and Jessica were together. Ashley would come home from school, and Jessica was all she could talk about. They were the best of friends, and when they became more than friends it seemed only natural. Jessica was a good girl, and the best daughter-in-law Madelyn could have possibly asked for. She and Ashley are both missing her already.
Madelyn continued to keep Ashley company while she ate her breakfast. She's glad that her daughter is at least eating something this morning. She wasn't sure if Ashley would be willing to with how upset she is, but so far so good.
"Honey, I just want you to know that I'm here for the long haul, for as long as you want me to be." Madelyn told her. "I'll be here to help with Charlie, and whatever else you need."
"Thanks Mom." Ashley said resting on her shoulder. She was quiet for a moment before speaking up again.
"We should go see Jess's parents at some point."
"I spoke to Evelyn this morning." Madelyn said.
"Yeah, How's she holding up?" Ashley asked knowing probably not good.
"She's heartbroken. She said Ed hasn't spoken all morning, and neither one of them could sleep last night."
"I know the feeling." Ashley nodded.
Charlie is in his swing starting to fuss, and Madelyn goes to take him out. She walks back to the couch with him, and Ashley reaches out to hold her son. She takes him in close to her chest, kissing the top of his head, and just sat quietly holding onto the only part of Jessica she has left. Ashley thought about her little boy, and how no matter what she always wants to see him happy. She promised herself that she would always be there for him to guide him, to show up to every sports practice, to be understanding even when he messes up, and to support the dreams he will have someday. Ashley was scared about having to do this alone, but knew she had to find a way for Charlie. She continued to hold him while Madelyn cleaned up the dishes, and soon there was a knock at the door. Madelyn answered seeing Ashley's friends here, and let them in. Ashley placed Charlie back in his crib, and went to greet them.
"Hey." Beca said wrapping her arms around Ashley. "I'm so sorry."
Aubrey, Stacie, and CR all hugged their grieving friend, offering their condolences. The group sat on the couch around Ashley with Beca taking her hand in an effort to comfort her.
"We came to see how you're doing." Beca said.
"I still can't believe this is real." Ashley told them.
She starts to cry a little while Stacie rubs her shoulder. The other girls felt like crying too, but wanted to stay strong for Ashley. Jessica was a friend to all of them, and they too were shocked when hearing what happened. This poor girl wasn't even thirty, and already her life was over. The girls thought all day about what Ashley must be going through, and also what Jessica's parents must be going through. Nobody deserves to lose anyone they love, especially a parent who has lost their child. Right now their fellow Bella was truly in need of support, and the girls were going to do whatever they could for Ashley. When they said 'Bellas for life.' they really meant it.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do now on my own." Ashley cried, and Stacie turned Ashley to face her.
"Hey Sweetie look at me, okay. You're not alone. You've got your mom, you've got all of us. We're all here for you no matter what. I promise." Stacie said matter of factly, and the rest of them nodded.
Ashley nodded wiping her tears while her friends hugged her. Ashley was feeling really broken down right now, but also grateful to have these girls by her side. She knew they meant what they said about being their for her, and she knows she would do the same for them. The girls visited with Ashley for a little while longer before she told her friends that they were going to see Jessica's parents. They all gave Ashley one last hug before leaving her with her mom.
"I'll let you guys know when we know what's going on with the funeral." Ashley told Beca.
"Okay. Well if you need anything, please call us. Even if it's the middle of the night, and you just want to talk, please don't be afraid to call us." Beca said, and Aubrey nodded.
"Okay." Ashley nodded. "Thank you so much."
Beca and Aubrey both hug her.
"We love you." Beca said.
It was nice for Ashley to see her friends, and know they were looking out for her, which made this time a little less tough.
This is probably the first visit to Jessica's parent's house that Ashley wasn't looking forward to, but she did need to see them on a day like today. Madelyn and Ashley gathered in the car with Charlie to go offer their support to Ed and Evelyn. Ashley has always gotten along with her wife's parents even from the time she and Jessica first met, and the couple knew just how much Ashley loved their daughter. For the whole ride over there, Ashley sat starting out the window wondering what she was going to say to them. No matter what words came to her, nothing seemed right. This wasn't an 'It's gonna be okay.' situation. After all, how could it be? There was only one woman in the world Ashley loved more than anything, and now she's gone. She honestly didn't know if she'd ever be okay again. They pulled up to the house while Ashley shut her eyes taking a deep breath. She didn't know if she could bare to see how heartbroken her Mother and Father-in-law were, but she knew she had to be strong for them. Plenty of people have been here for Ashley thus far, and now Ashley needed to be there for Ed and Evelyn. Madelyn got Charlie out of the backseat while she and Ashley went up, and knocked on the door. It was Ed who answered, and let them in while he and Ashley embraced not saying a word. Ed Smith was a man who always processed things quietly; it was just his way. Right now he couldn't make sense of this situation or how and why it happened. He greeted Madelyn and the baby while Evelyn came up to Ashley wrapping her in a hug.
"I'm so sorry." Ashley told Evelyn.
"I'm glad you're here, Sweetie." Evelyn cried.
Hearing the pain in Evelyn's voice only made Ashley cry more. The two cried in each others arms holding on tightly. The tears couldn't be held back, and it wasn't worth trying anymore. They all knew this was the worst nightmare that could have been imagined, and the only thing left to do was let out the pain they were feeling. Soon all of them made their way inside, the ladies sat on the couch while Ed sat in the chair holding his grandson. He looked down at this little boy with Jessica's eyes staring back at him. Ed has lost his daughter, yet through Charlie there was a part of her still with them. If he could just stare into Charlie's eyes forever, maybe he wouldn't have to say goodbye. Madelyn and Ashley sat on either side of Evelyn, all of them holding hands.
"Thank you for coming over." Evelyn told Ashley who nodded wiping away her tears.
"Of course." Ashley said.
"She's a good one, this one." Evelyn told Madelyn. "It always made me feel good to see how happy Jessie was."
Ashley smiled through her tears while listening to her Mother-in-law's praise.
"Jessica was a good girl." Madelyn said. "We loved her very much.
"I know you did." Evelyn cried hugging Madelyn. "She was very lucky to have you."
The family sat for awhile just wanting to be there to support each other. They talked about Jessica, and all they loved about her along with what they were going to miss. Then they talked more about the baby, how much he's grown, how he's been sleeping through the night, and mostly focusing on him to mask the pain. They didn't want to figure out the funeral right now. At this moment it was important to be around family, and try to face this tragedy together.
Back at Stacie and CR's place they've arrived home, Stacie thanked her mom for coming to stay with the kids, and Beca and Aubrey took Sophia home. What happened was devastating, and it hurt them to see Ashley so heartbroken. The girls were still in shock, and wished they had more they could say to Ashley. The best they could do was to continue being there for her, and help in anyway they can. Stacie sat quiet on the living room couch, while 8yr old Ahlyiah came in confused by all the commotion.
"Mommy, why is everybody sad?"
Stacie took a deep breath taking her daughter in her lap. She didn't know how to explain this to Ahlyiah other than to just say it.
"Sweetie this isn't easy to say to you, but we had to go see your Aunt Ashley because something bad happened to Aunt Jessica." Stacie told her trying to hold back tears.
"What happened?" Ahlyiah asked.
"She...was in a car accident last night, and she died, Honey." Stacie told her wiping away tears.
"Oh." Ahlyiah said hanging her head. "Was Aunt Ashley really sad?"
"Yeah, she was." Stacie nodded. "...but we're all gonna be there to help her the best we can, okay."
Ahlyiah nodded wrapping her arms around her mom, and Stacie hugged her daughter tight. She could hear the little girl start to cry, and it broke Stacie's heart even more. This was hard enough to deal with as an adult, much less expecting a child to understand. There was no good reason for something like this to happen, and the girls all hoped they could help Ashley through this.
The day of the funeral is now here, and many of Jessica's friends and family were gathered at the funeral home to pay their respects. The rest of the Bellas have heard what happened, and they were all devastated. Through their years at Barden and the USO Tour, this group of girls has had many years of good and bad times, all of which has made them bond together, and become a family. Now with the loss of one of their own, there was a hole in each of their hearts that made them feel empty. They've all at some point before the funeral reached out to Ashley offering their deepest sympathies, and agreed that they would be there for her.
Evelyn and Ed are out in the hall talking to the rest of the family who were all attempting to comfort the grieving parents. Madelyn took Charlie to feed him, while Ashley stood in a room by herself staring out the window. She is supposed to say a few words during the eulogy, but she doesn't know where to begin. Of course Ashley could think of many wonderful things to say about Jessica. Her wife has given her so much joy in their life together, and she brought joy to others as well. There are so many great moments to choose from, and Ashley feels that Jessica deserves to be remembered for the truly remarkable human being she was. She just hoped she could keep her composure. Soon Ashley hears the door open behind her, and sees Chloe enter the room who immediately envelops Ashley in a hug.
"Thank you for being here." Ashley whispers to Chloe.
"Of course." Chloe said kissing her friend's cheek.
"I'm so sorry about Jessica." Chloe told Ashley, both with tears in their eyes.
Ashley pulled back to look at her friend as she spoke to her.
"I wanted to tell you, after our first Bellas rehearsal Jessica told me that she liked how kind and patient you were with all of us while we were still learning. I know she really appreciated it. I really want to thank you."
Chloe smiled squeezing Ashley's hand. It meant a lot to her to know she was able to make an impact on her friends in that way, and have them appreciate her kindness and generosity.
Soon the ladies made their way out to the rest of the funeral. Many of these people Ashley hasn't seen since their wedding. Jessica's aunts and uncles were here, her cousins, and her grandparents on her father's side. Ashley couldn't imagine that this elderly couple ever thought they'd be attending their grandchild's funeral. Also her poor parents; what must it be like to bury their only child? Many guests felt terrible for Ed and Evelyn, and hoped they'd never know that feeling.
Ashley received many hugs from her fellow Bellas, and words of encouragement telling her that the eulogy would be great while Ashley expressed her nervousness about the whole told Ashley that she knew Jessica best, and there was no better person for the job. Ashley felt lucky that she and Jessica have made such wonderful friends who have had their backs whenever they were needed. She is grateful to have these girls here while giving probably the toughest speech of her life.
It is time for the funeral to start, and everyone took their seats inside. Ashley sat between her mom who is holding Charlie, and Jessica's parents. While the pastor spoke, Ashley observed the room around her. There are flowers all across the front by the casket, and many pictures of Jessica displayed all of which showed her looking so happy. Jessica loved life, and loved those around her with her whole heart. Honestly these were good pictures to see that reminded Ashley of happier times. All too quickly it was time for Ashley to speak while she gathered herself, and stepped up to the podium taking a breath before she began.
"Jessica and I were just thirteen years old when we met, and even then I knew she was somebody special. She had a kind heart, and never judged anybody, which made middle school so much better for me."
The emotion in her voice was creeping up, but so far Ashley was doing okay, and continued on.
"Never have I met anyone who has always been able to make me smile, even when I didn't want to, and someone who always saw challenges in life as a way to become better people. Being married to Jessica has been the greatest feeling I could imagine, because I knew I had to be doing something right if this incredible woman loved me. I feel grateful to look at our son, and feel like a part of her is still here. I Iook here at all of those who loved Jessica, and it reminds me of how special she was."
At this point Ashley was crying along with many people in attendance.
"I love you Jess, and I'll always miss you. We all will. Thank you." Ashley sobbed taking her seat.
"That was beautiful." Evelyn uttered kissing Ashley's cheek.
The speech had everyone in tears, with many members of the family thanking Ashley for her words. She spoke from her heart, and everyone could see how much Ashley truly loved Jessica. Ashley was happy to have gotten through her speech as she took little Charlie in her arms, holding him close. She didn't want to think about the pain, she just wanted to hold her little boy, and be in the moment with him.
It is now time for everyone to make their way to the cemetery to lay Jessica to rest. Seeing the casket here ready to be put in the ground made too it real for everyone; she was really gone. As the guests each stood there with a rose, one by one they layed it over the casket. Ashley lays hers on top saying one last 'I love you.' to her wife. The casket was lowered down, and everyone returned to the house.
Ashley sat in the living room with Charlie asleep in her arms as she quietly observed everybody throughout the house. Many of the men stood around stuffing snacks in their mouth, looking for other subjects to discuss to avoid thinking about death. Who could blame them, really? Ashley certainly didn't want to think about it. Evelyn and her sister flipped through a photo album talking about their favorite times with Jessica. Ashley kept her focus on Charlie which was the only thing keeping her sane at the moment. She cuddled him close listening to his light snoring, and thinking about how peaceful he looked. She was almost glad he was too young to understand any of this. Madelyn soon came over to check on her daughter.
"How are you holding up, Honey?"
"Doing my best." Ashley shrugged.
Madelyn kissed the top of Ashley's head while sitting next to her.
"He slept the whole time, huh?" Madelyn asked stroking Charlie's hair.
"Yeah, pretty much since we've been home." Ashley nodded.
Charlie has been sleeping well so far, but they've spoken too soon as he woke up, and started to fuss.
"Here, I'll take him, and see if he needs to be changed." Madelyn said taking him into the nursery.
Beca later came and sat with Ashley. She offered her friend a smile while Beca took her hand.
"How are you doing?" Beca asked.
"I miss her." Ashley quietly answered while Beca placed a hand on her shoulder.
"It feels weird having all these people here I haven't seen in awhile. Seems like someone has to die or get married to get the family together." Ashley told her.
"I know what you mean." Beca said. "I don't think I've seen my cousins since the oldest got married."
"Yeah, nothing brings a family together like free hourderves, right?"
Beca chuckled.
"It does feel good to have all these people here, and know she was loved." Ashley said.
"And we all loved her." Beca told her. " Jessica was one of the good ones, especially good for you."
Ashley nodded wiping away her tears.
"I'm glad you guys are all here. I wouldn't want to go through this day without you."
Beca leaned over giving Ashley a hug. These girls meant so much to Ashley, and it meant a lot they were here to support her through this time. The other girls periodically came over to check on Ashley, and although some weren't sure what to say they were all very kind, and wanted to be the best friend they could to her. It made Ashley happy to see them trying their best for her.
The day was winding down, and several of the guests were heading out all offering their condolences while wishing Ashley well. The Bellas have all offered their help cleaning, grocery shopping or just a shoulder to cry on. Madelyn is in the kitchen putting food away while Ashley is saying goodbye to her friends, and thanking them for coming. The house was soon empty leaving Ashley and Madelyn on their own again. Madelyn sits next to Ashley, the two of them are just enjoying the quiet.
"Well Charlie is asleep, I changed him and gave him a bottle a little while ago, so he should be good for a few hours. Are you hungry at all? Can I get you something to eat?" Madelyn asked.
"No. Thank you, I'm okay." Ashley replied."Thank you for everything, Mom."
"You're welcome, Honey." Madelyn said hugging her tight.
"So, are you gonna spend the night on the couch again?" Madelyn asked.
"I think I'll sleep in my room tonight."
"You sure you'll be okay in there?"
"Yeah." Ashley sighed. "I think I'm ready."
"Okay, Sweetie. Let me know if you change your mind."
The two said goodnight, and Ashley went to her room, getting ready for bed. Once Ashley changed her clothes, she sat on her bed staring around her room. It felt so big and empty being in here by herself. Ashley can clearly remember she and Jessica always feeling a bit cramped in here. It had limited space for all their furniture, and they'd talked about somebody finding a bigger place, especially if their family continued to grow. Now without Jessica, Ashley felt alone in this big space, and would miss cuddling up with her. Ashley picked up the pillow on Jessica's side, and clutched it tight breathing in her wife's scent. She got under the covers still holding onto the pillow needing to feel close to Jessica however she could. She turned off the light burying her face in the pillow just trying to quiet her mind, and get to sleep.