Hey all. So after much procrastination, I finally have this chapter done. I hope to be more consistant in the future with geetting chapters out, and I hope you enjoy this one. Feel free to review.
Ch 3
Beca awoke the next morning, with Aubrey already in the kitchen making breakfast for Sophia. Everything is different for Beca being pregnant. She was never sure if or when it would happen but here she is today, ten weeks along with their second child. Every smell was different, her taste was different, yet through all of it she knew she was happy. Her life with Aubrey has been all she hoped it would be, and to bring little Sophia into the world has brought the young couple the greatest joy they'd ever thought possible. Beca couldn't wait to experience that same joy when it came time for her to give birth.
All of this made Beca think about Ashley. Everybody that knew them, knew how truly happy Jessica and Ashley were together. They fell in love, got a home, had a beautiful baby boy together, and in one moment Ashley's whole life changed forever when that police officer knocked on her door. Beca hoped to never know what that feels like, and was determined to always let her family know how much she loved them. Soon Beca made her way downstairs where Aubrey is cooking breakfast. Beca came up from behind, wrapping her arms around Aubrey. She then layed her own arms atop of her wife's, while Beca kissed her shoulder.
"I love you." Beca told her.
"I love you, too."
Beca kisses Sophia on top of her head before sitting down at the breakfast bar. She is enjoying the smell of pancakes and bacon this morning, and for once the smell of food wasn't making her nauseous.
"How are you feeling?" Aubrey asked.
"Better these days. I'm not so sensitive to smells lately."
"That's good, Honey. I'm glad you're doing okay." Aubrey said.
With the positive sentiment from her wife, Beca again thought of Ashley. Her friend was feeling a great pain that may very well be with her for the rest of her life. The day of the funeral was sad, but all involved were happy to have gotten through it. Ashley gave a beautiful speech about her wife, remembering how wonderful she was. The speech was tough, but she managed to get through it without sobbing, and found the most caring and loving way to say goodbye.
"What are you thinking about?" Beca heard from Aubrey as she was enjoying her pancakes.
"I can't stop thinking about Ashley. Everything has happened so fast. It's crazy how your whole life can change in an instant."
"I know. I've been thinking about her,too." Aubrey replied.
The two would be sure to check in on their friend later today, but for right now they wanted to enjoy a nice breakfast together.
This morning is another morning Ashley is awake, not wanting to be up yet. She is in her room alone, and like it or not, she'd have to get used to it. With the pillow from Jessica's side of the bed still in her arms, Ashley clutched it tight taking in the scent. As she opened her eyes more, Ashley stared at the picture on her nightstand. It was a picture of them by the fire on their first camping trip together. It was September at the time and starting to get chilly at night, but the two had a great time, taking nature hikes, and enjoying the outdoors. The two were happy in this picture, and it's these times Ashley wants to remember about Jessica.
Ashley could hear her mom up with the baby, and figured she should get up and face the day. She was going to try her hardest not to focus on her pain today. Ashley could easily keep busy and get things done that needed her attention. She could keep from being sad, if she really set her mind to it.
Meanwhile in Ed and Evelyn's home, the couple is still taking time off of work. Ed is working in the yard, while Evelyn is watching him from inside, folding laundry. Ed has been spending most of his time tinkering in the garage with his truck, working in the yard clearing out the excess brush, and working on the back deck. Evelyn knew her husband always had a hard time with heart to heart talks. She was fine with waiting him out when it came to stress at work or other goings on in their life but with the loss of their daughter, Evelyn wished her husband would talk to her. She is hurting too, and now more than ever, the two really needed each other.
It is now 1pm, and Ashley has had a rather productive morning. She got all the laundry done and put away, the dishes were done and all the kitchen counters were clean. She managed to finally go through all the old magazines in the living room, getting rid of what wasn't needed. Although Madelyn still worried her daughter, she allowed Ashley to go through her process. At some point Ashley has moved onto organizing her own bedroom, making sure to only open her side of the closet. So far Ashley was doing well, but try as she may she couldn't avoid seeing it. Ashley stopped for a minute to look at Jessica's old Bellas uniform. She was buried with the scarf, but the rest of it was still hanging here, while Ashley stared stroking the lapels on her jacket. It was a representation of their long journey with the Bellas, and the great friends Jessica and Ashley have made. As she stood there staring at the dress, Ashley started crying again. Still she is determined not to let herself breakdown, as she wiped away her tears and continued organizing.
Ashley left the closet and moved onto the bathroom, going through all of the extra soaps and lotions they've accumulated over the years. She has successfully become invested in that when she is startled by her phone ringing. Ashley looks at it to see Stacie calling her and answers.
"Hello?"
"Hey Ashley, I just wanted to call and see how you've been. Are you doing okay?"
"Uh...yeah, sure. Just been doing some cleaning around the house today. It's been awhile since I've been able to get to it."
"Oh that's great, Sweetie. It's good to keep busy." Stacie said.
Stacie suspected her friend was on a cleaning spree to avoid her feelings inside, but still wanted to tread lightly, and not see Ashley get upset. Stacie kept trying to listen and be a good friend.
"Well ya know, if you need help cleaning anything out, I can come by." Stacie offered.
"I appreciated it, but I think I'm good here. There's not a whole lot left to do."
"Okay then, well you know if you need anything hon, you can always call me."
"I know." Ashley smiled. "Thank you, Stacie."
"You're welcome, Sweetie. I'll be in touch."
Ashley thanked her again, and the two hung up. Stacie then wandered into the living room to find her wife, talking to her about her phone call.
"You talked to Ashley?" CR asked.
"Yeah, I wish I knew the right thing to say to her. She sounds to sad."
"You're doing fine, Baby." CR told Stacie, hugging her waist.
Stacie has only been able to think of Ashley since everything happened. She hasn't stopped worrying and wanting to check in on her grieving friend. It's hard to think about losing a loved one, especially in an accident that has happened so suddenly. Stacie knew Ashley might never really get over it completely, but hopefully could find a way to move forward and live her life with her son. Soon Stacie got a phone call from Beca.
"Hey." Stacie answered.
"Hey Stacie, how are you doing?"
"Worried about Ashley."
"Yeah, me too." Beca told her. "Have you talked to her?"
"Yeah, I just got off the phone with her. She's been cleaning the house all day." Stacie explained.
"Definitely sounds like she's avoiding her feelings."
"Yeah, I know. I'm just not sure if it's best to let her. Should we be encouraging her to talk to us?" Stacie asked frustrated.
"Maybe Ashley just needs to deal with this her way for now. She knows we're here. We just need to keep being there, and keep an eye on her." Beca said.
"Yeah, you're probably right. I just feel so terrible for her. It sucks she has to go through this."
"I know what you mean." Beca told her. "It hurts to see her so sad."
Both girls were at a loss for what was the right thing to do, but hoped that their support was helping Ashley. They missed their friend, Jessica and were pained by their friend's turmoil. For now they would keep close tabs on her, and be there when they were needed.
"So, if you hear anymore from her, will you let me know?" Beca asked.
"I will; no worries."
The two said goodbye going about the rest of their day with Ashley still on their mind.
Madelyn is seated in the living room chair feeding Charlie, as Ashley comes in and plops down on the couch. She huffed in exhaustion having spent the better part of the day cleaning and organizing every surface of her home. It was now 5pm, but it feels much later for both women as it has been a rough couple of days.
As tired as she is, it did feel good for Ashley to get alot accomplished and to get all her nervous energy out. Her thoughts have been keeping her awake at night, and Ashley thought maybe if she could keep busy, occupying her mind, she wouldn't have to feel lonely and in pain. Ashley is of course grateful for the support from her friends and her mother, but Jessica always made her feel whole, and like she would never be alone. This house truly felt big and empty without her, and it hurt Ashley everyday.
Madelyn is among many people worried about Ashley. She knew all this cleaning is so her daughter could avoid her feelings, but Madelyn thought it was best for now to let Ashley cope the best way she knew how. Madelyn has wanted to suggest Ashley see a grief counselor, but didn't know how to approach the subject. She wasn't sure Ashley would be open to it.
"You've certainly been busy." Madelyn said and Ashley nodded.
"Do you know what you feel like for dinner?"
"No." Ashley answered quietly.
"Uhm...I think there's leftover stew from last night. Do you want me to heat that up for you?"
"Sure." Ashley nodded.
Madelyn was ready to put Charlie to bed, but Ashley said she would take him as she cuddled him close walking in the nursery. She laid the baby boy in his crib watching him slowly drift off to sleep. This little man is the main thing keeping Ashley going. She stroked his soft blonde hair enjoying a quiet and peaceful moment with him.
"Hey Buddy, I love you." She whispered to him.
It's been important to Ashley , especially now to get those 'I love you's' in whenever possible, because you never know when you may never see someone again. Ashley left her baby to sleep and had dinner with her mom, where the two ate in companionable silence. There is no need to talk; for Ashley her mom being there is enough. Madelyn has been great through this whole thing, helping with the baby and being a shoulder to cry on. Soon dinner was over and being cleaned up, when Ashley wrapped her mother in a hug.
"I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything."
"I love you too, Sweetie." Madelyn said kissing her cheek.
Ashley is feeling more rested after dinner, and quietly took herself to bed.
Beca is sitting in her kitchen after returning from her ultrasound appointment. Aubrey has already left for work, while little Sophia has had her breakfast and is playing quietly in her room. So far they've been lucky with Sophia. She was born a healthy baby, and Aubrey's pregnancy wasn't too rough on her. It took some time, but they were able to get into a consistent routine with her feeding and bedtime. It wasn't without some sleepless nights, but now, Sophia is a happy little girl, who brings Aubrey and Beca so much joy. They hoped to be just as lucky the second time around. Beca is finishing her English muffin and tea, when she hears a knock at her door. She answers to see Fat Amy there and invites her in.
"Hey Beca, how's the little bun in the oven?" Amy asks sitting at the kitchen counter.
"Still doing good so far." Beca told her. "I had an ultrasound appointment this morning. Not much to see at ten weeks, but the doctor says everything looks good at this point. how about you? How's your show going?"
"It's still bringing in a good crowd. I also got a part in a play with a small theatre company."
"Oh wow, what's the show?" Beca asked.
"It's a dance musical called 'Glitz'. I've got rehearsals and costume fittings this week, and we have our first show next Friday."
"That's really great, Amy. I'm happy for you."
Soon there was another knock at the door and Chloe joined them. She's been working a lot of hours at the vet clinic while going to school and is tired much of the time, but she loves her work and it's all been worth it.
"Hey Chloe, how've you been?" Amy asked.
"Pretty good. Glad to have the AM shift today."
"How's your dog?" Beca asked.
"Well aside from chewing up my bath slippers and then throwing it all up, I haven't had any other catastrophes. He seems to be adjusting just fine."
"At least it's good practice for when you have kids." Beca laughed.
"I hope my kid doesn't eat all my shoes."
"Well, I don't know. Beca, has Sophia eaten any shoes yet?" Amy joked.
"Uhm...not yet, but it's only been two years. I'll let you know." Beca said and they all laugh.
All of them are happy about how things were going in their own lives, but of course their minds still remain on what has happened to their friends.
"So...have you heard from Ashley lately?" Chloe asked Beca.
"Stacie talked to her the other day. I think she's just trying to cope as best she can." Beca told her.
"I feel bad that I don't know what to say to her." Chloe said.
"I know how you feel." Beca said and Amy nodded.
The girls all felt bad, being at a loss for how best to comfort Ashley, and what was the right thing to say. Of course they knew nothing could be said to change the situation, and Ashley did appreciate all of their support. The good things coming to them like Fat Amy's play and Chloe's job were all great, and it made them happy, but inside the girls couldn't help but feel a little guilt for being so happy. None of them wanted Ashley to see it, and remind her of how much pain she's been in. They were all making an effort to be there for Ashley, yet the fear of showing their own happiness is still there.
"I keep wanting to call her and check in, but I'm not sure how to do it right?" Chloe said.
"I'm going to call her later today. I can tell her you were thinking of her if you want. That's really the best we can do is to let her know we care." Beca told her.
"Yeah, thank you." Chloe nodded.
The girls hung out for a bit before going home. Beca did call Ashley later that day to let her know everyone has been thinking of her. Ashley felt lucky to have her friends, and to know they wanted to check in on her to see if she was okay. She hoped someday she would be okay. Ashley sat back on the couch looking around her clean house she's spent a day and a half on. Surely she would run out of house to clean, and then what would Ashley do to occupy her mind? Try as she may, Ashley couldn't forget her love, nor did she want to. It was just so strange here without Jessica, and Ashley didn't want it to hurt so much.
It is now after dinner, while Ashley is trying to feed Charlie and put him to bed, but is having a rough go at it. The little guy keeps crying and leaning away from his bottle. Ashley knows he's hungry, but he doesn't seem to want to be cooperative.
"Come on, Buddy. You need to eat." Ashley prodded.
She was trying to be patient with her baby, but she's getting frustrated. Charlie kept crying while his momma attempted to feed him. Ashley calmly bounced him and kept offering the bottle, but still nothing. Soon Madelyn came in to check on them.
"Hey, what's the matter; he won't eat?"
"No." Ashley huffed. "I mean...I know he's hungry, but he wont take the bottle tonight. I don't know why."
Madelyn knelt down next to her grandson, taking the bottle hoping to lend a hand.
"Here Sweetheart, take your bottle."
Madelyn rubbed the bottle across Chalrie's lips, and he finally relented, and drank up his milk. She then looked up at Ashley who started to cry. All the sadness inside and all her nervous energy finally got to her, and she couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Jess was always better at this than me. I don't know how I'm going to do this."
"Sweetheart, you're doing fine." Madelyn told her.
"How do I know I won't screw everything up? I don't know what I'm doing or how I'm going to figure it all out." Ashley cried.
Madelyn stopped her, wrapping an arm around her daughter, kissing her forehead.
"Honey listen, you don't have to figure it all out at once. You're a new mom, don't worry. All of us with kids have been there." Madelyn said touching her shoulder.
"I know...you weren't expecting to do this on your own, but we'll get through it together Honey, I promise. Whatever you need, I'll be here."
Ashley nodded wiping away her tears.
"I really miss her."
"I know you do, Sweetie." Madelyn said hugging her daughter.
Ashley has been so thankful for her mom, and is so happy she is here. She's done so much for Ashley during this incredibly rough time, and Ashley hoped she could be half the mother Madelyn is. At some point, it will be time for Ashley to do this on her own and she hoped to do the best she can.
Back at Stacie and CR's home, the ladies are putting the kids to bed. Bella is already asleep, and now they're working on the other two. Who would have thought the baby would be the easiest one to bed. They have been lucky so far with Bella who hasn't given them much trouble at all. As CR is making her way through the kitchen, five year old Dimitri is running through the room. CR stops the little boy, scooping him up midway.
"Little man, why you running through my house?" CR asked and he giggled.
"I think it's about time for you to go to bed. What do you say?"
"Okay Momma."
CR brings Dimitri upstairs to his room as they passed Stacie in the hallway. She gave her son kisses goodnight, while making her way to the bathroom where Ahlyiah was brushing her teeth. Ahlyiah is finishing up and smiles up at her mom to show her a pretty, clean smile.
"Are my teeth clean, Mommy?"
"They are absolutely beautiful, my darling." Stacie told her, kissing her forehead. "Let's get to bed, little lady."
Ahlyiah makes her way to her room, and hops into her bed, while Stacie pulls the covers over the little girl and tucks them all around her. She is met with more kisses from her mommy, while Stacie very much enjoyed this special bedtime routine with her children. They were all getting so big so fast, and it amazed Stacie that Ahlyiah was close to being as tall as her. She wanted to cherish this time tucking in her children while they were still young enough to want her to.
"Mommy, is Aunt Ashley gonna be okay?" Ahlyiah asked.
"I hope so, Baby." Stacie answered brushing back her daughter's hair.
The little one couldn't help but be concerned, along with everyone else around her about Ashley's well being. Even though Ahlyiah is only eight, she is old enough to understand how devastating this is to experience. Stacie's eldest daughter has always been a kind and compassionate little girl, and she hated to see any of her friends sad.
"I hope so too. I don't like to see her feeling bad." Ahlyiah told her.
"Well it's a good thing she's got a friend like you, kiddo. We're all gonna do our best to make her feel better."
Ahlyiah smiles and nods with hope that things would soon look up. Stacie gives her one final hug and kiss goodnight.
"Goodnight, Lovebug."
"Goodnight Mommy."
With that Stacie turned out the light, and climbed into bed herself next to her wife. Being married with children has certainly brought many changes to her life, but all good changes. She didn't know if she was doing everything right, and surely mistakes would be made. The results so far have been wonderful, and she hoped to keep up the good work.