A/N : Hey all. So it's been a hot minute, but I finally have the fifth chapter up. We're in the home stretch, and I hope to finish this story up soon. Hope you enjoy.

Ch 5

It's been a few months since Ashley has been at home, and Charlie is now ten months old. She's happy to have had this time with her son, even if it was under the worst of circumstances. Charlie has gotten much bigger, and is crawling around looking for whatever he can get into. He doesn't quite have the hang of walking, but he's working on it. Through every milestone Charlie experiences, and everyday he grows bigger, Ashley kept thinking about how Jessica should be here for this. The two have always dreamed of building a life together and starting a family, watching it grow, and reflect all they have to be proud of in their lives. Even though her love was gone, Ashley would always have a piece of Jessica with her through their son, and she would always cherish him.

In the interest of moving forward, Ashley thought about it for awhile, and has decided it's about time for her to return to work as she discusses it with her mother.

"Ya know you don't have to go back yet if you don't want to. It's okay if you're not ready." Madelyn told her.

"I need to." Ashley said. "It'll be good to get back to normal. At home I have too much time to think."

"If you think you're ready, then I trust you." Madelyn told Ashley, holding onto her wrist.

"Just don't be afraid to tell someone if you need a break, okay."

"I know, Mom." Ashley smiled.

Suddenly there is a knock at their door and Ashley went to answer it, assuming it was another friend checking in on her as per usual these days. Yet when she opened the door to greet her visitor, the man standing there took Ashley completely by surprise.

"Hi." Ashley said still in shock.

"Hey Kiddo."

The man before her is her dad Ron, whom she hasn't seen in many years. He's grown a beard since Ashley last saw him, and stood there in jeans and a worn leather jacket. Neither of them knew what to say to the other. Ron knew he hasn't been a presence in Ashley's life nor was he there when he needed to be, and there was nothing that could be said to change that, but Ron still hoped Ashley would want to see him.

"Is it alright if I come in?" Ron asked his daughter.

"Uhm...yeah, sure." Ashley said while he stepped inside.

Ashley had no idea what to think about this or what to say to him. Perhaps he had heard about their situation, but was that all Ron was here for? After not seeing the man for so long, and now here he is out of the blue, did he want something from them? The energy in the room was most certainly awkward, and it was quiet until Ron spoke up.

"I've been to town for a few days, and I ran into your Aunt Jean in the grocery store. When I asked how you were she told me about your wife's accident. I wanted to come by to check in with you, and offer my condolences. I'm really sorry to hear about what happened."

"Thank you." Ashley quietly nodded, taking in her father's words.

She felt conflicted between wanting to ask him how he's been and wanting to curse him for leaving. Ashley wondered for a long time what it would be like to see her father again, and has imagined many different scenarios as to how it would go down. At this point in her life, none of the anger mattered anymore. She's lost so much already, and there was no harm in inviting Ron in to at least talk.

"Do you want some coffee?" Ashley asked him.

"Yes, thank you." Ron nodded.

Ron sat at the table while Ashley poured coffee. He nodded to Madelyn.

"Madelyn, hi." Ron said.

"Ron." Madelyn replied.

She was watching carefully and wasn't quite ready to trust him.

"So what brings you back around here?" Ashley asked him.

"Well I'd been working for a shipping company in Philadelphia for a long time until several of us got laid off. I drove a box truck for awhile after that until I fell and broke my ankle. Since then I've been trying to get workman's compensation. Right now I'm staying with my brother until I get back of my feet. "

"Okay." Ashley nodded. "So what brings you here all of the sudden? It's been about two years."

"I know, I - I'm sorry." Ron said embarrassed. "I wanted to, but I was afraid to let you see me like this, and the longer I waited the harder it got. I know that's not a good excuse, and I'm sorry for staying away so long."

Ashley nodded just accepting that the situation is what it is. Madelyn remained vigilant, wanting to protect her daughter, but so far it seemed to be going as well as could be expected.

"Listen Ashley, I know nothing can make up for all I've missed over the years, but I really am sorry. I want to try and start new and be around as much as I can."

His daughter gave him a half smile.

"I wouldn't mind that."

It wasn't anything major, but it was a step in the right direction, and Ron was pleased with the results. Ashley and Ron finished a cup of coffee before making their way to the door to say goodbye. Madelyn heard Charlie awake, and went to check in on him.

"Well, it was good to see you. I'm glad you stopped by." Ashley said.

" It was good to see you too. Thanks for letting me in to talk."

Madelyn is observing the two from the nursery, holding Charlie in her arms. Ron couldn't help but smile seeing his grandson for the first time.

"So this is Charlie."

"Yup." Ashley nodded.

"Hey Buddy." Ron waved and Charlie smiled.

"He's beautiful." Ron said.

"Thanks." Ashley smiled.

"I hope I can come by more often, and get to know him."

"I'd be okay with that." Ashley smiled.

The two shared a small hug. It was awkward, but also nice. Ashley's visit with her father went better than expected, and she hoped he meant what he said about coming around more often. Madelyn came up to Ashley after Ron left.

"Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah." Ashley nodded. "I think so."

Madelyn hugged Ashley while her daughter leaned into her.

"I'm proud of you; you did good."

"Thanks Mom."

Ashley took the baby and cuddled him on the couch just wanting to be with him before going to work tomorrow. She's ready to try normal, and hoped to be able to pull it off.

Beca and Aubrey are leaving the OBGYN's office after an appointment they've been waiting for. Beca is five months along, and the doctor is able to determine the sex of Beca's baby. Beca is sitting in the passanger's seat staring at the sonogram photo of their baby girl. She held onto her baby bump looking at the photo, thinking about how their little baby wasn't even born yet, and Beca is already in love with her. She is absolutely perfect. Even in that black and white photo, she is beautiful. Beca could already see how much the baby was looking like her. Being pregnant has brought out a lot of emotion in Beca that she wasn't used to. She was never sentimental, at least outwardly, and even when she was she'd never admit it. Beca completely understood what it was like when Aubrey was pregnant with Sophia, as well as how it must have been for Beca's own mother to be pregnant with her. She was now part of the life cycle about to welcome a new baby into the world herself. Aubrey is equally excited on the drive home and couldn't wait to share the news.

"I can't wait to tell Sophia." Aubrey said. "She'll be so excited to have a little sister."

"Yeah, It's great." Beca said with a half hearted smile.

Beca couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt. Of course she was happy about their daughter, but she couldn't help but feel bad about the hard time their friend was having.

"You okay? I thought you'd be happy." Aubrey asked her.

"I am, Honey. I'm so happy. I was just thinking about stuff." Beca told her.

"Like what?"

"Like Ashley." Beca lamented. "I mean I want to tell our parents and Sophia. I also want to tell our friends, including Ashley...I just feel bad being so happy after everything she's been going through."

"Beca it's okay to be happy." Aubrey said taking her wife's hand.

"Look nothing can change what happened to Jessica, and we'll all miss her; nobody more than Ashley. I'm sure she'll be happy for us. You've been a good friend to her through all of this, and I think more than anything, she'd want to hear something good."

"Maybe you're right." Beca grinned.

With that the two made their way to Beca's dad's house to pick up Sophia. They pulled in the driveway, came in the door and were immediately met by their little girl. Aubrey scooped her up while Sophia hugged her mom around her neck.

"Hey Baby. Did you have fun with Pop Pop?" Aubrey asked.

"Yup." The two year old said excitedly.

Beca's father, Dave soon followed her out.

"Hey girls, how was the doctor's appointment?"

"It was good. Everything is going well." Beca told him.

"So, did you find out?" Dave asked.

"We did." Beca said turning to face Sophia. "Guess what, Miss Sophia? You're gonna have a little sister."

"Yeay!" Sophia cheered.

"Wow, so it's a girl?" Dave asked.

"Yeah, here she is." Beca said handing him the sonogram photo.

Dave was so happy and proud to see the first photo of his newest grandchild. Everyone was excited for her arrival, and couldn't wait to meet her.

"She's beautiful." Dave said and Beca nodded.

"Are you excited?" Dave asked.

"Yeah, and a little nervous." Beca told him.

"You'll do great, Honey. I know you will."

"You will." Aubrey reaffirmed. "You've done great already." She told her as Sophia hugged Beca.

Beca loved her family, and could see she was in fact doing well. Although she still felt bad for Ashley, Beca has heard she is returning to work, and it seemed a step in the right direction for her. That's all any of them could do was take it one day at a time, and try to move forward. As they were about to welcome their second child into the world, Aubrey and Beca may not have all the answers, but they knew they loved each other and their kids. They couldn't wait to see their little Sophia as a big sister.

Ashley has been back to work for a week now with Evelyn babysiting during the day, and it's been going well so far. She's been getting through her days smoothly, and it seems everything is getting back into the swing of things; at least as much as they could be. She's now done with work on a Friday and is heading over to pick up Charlie. Even now it still feels different to go to Jessica's parent's house without her here. It was like everyone was in this alternate universe that they weren't supposed to be in, where two parents lost their sweet, beautiful girl when they were prepared to go first. Nobody was prepared for this, and they still feel blindsided by it. Ed and Evelyn have been through difficult job changes, where Ed wasn't sure if his new job at the time was going to work out and keep them afloat. They went through a lot to save up and buy their first home, but they managed to do it. Losing Jessica would by far be the toughest thing they will ever go through. All they had left now was each other to hold onto, and the good memories they had with Jessica. Ashley made her way up to the door, opened it and saw her little boy smile to greet her. Evelyn scooped up Charlie, and they both embraced Ashley.

"Hey Sweetie, how'd it go at work today?" Evelyn asked.

"It was pretty good. How'd everything go here?"

"Oh we had fun. Charlie and I spent the morning at the park. He got to feed the ducks."

"That sounds like fun. Did you have a good day with Grammy?" Ashley asked Charlie while he smiled.

Ashley noticed a photo album on the coffee table, and started to flip through it. Evelyn needed to see those old photos of Jessica as a kid, and remember the better times with her, watching her grow up.

"Oh, that one was when Jessica was a daisy for her third grade play. I spent most of the night before sewing the extra leaves on her costume." Evelyn explained.

They continued to look through more photos. Some of her first birthday party, and others of her first day at kindergarten. She looked so happy in every picture, and it reminded them of how much Jessica enjoyed life. It's what Ashley always loved about her wife. Her smile was infectious and would have everyone else around her smiling. The two ladies looked through more photos of Jessica when she would play dress up. She always liked to sing and dance around the house, and was always a happy kid.

"She was so sweet." Evelyn said while holding Charlie. "Did Jessica ever tell you she wanted to be in 'The Sound of Music' ?"

"Yeah, she did." Ashley nodded.

"It always made me happy to see her perform with the rest of the Bellas. She was lucky to find all of you. I know she really loved it."

"And we loved her." Ashley said.

Evelyn pulled Charlie close, kissing his cheek. His eyes and his smile reminded her of her daughter. He's been a happy little kid just like his mother was, lucky to have plenty of people around who loved him. It made Evelyn proud to have raised a good girl who has made many good friends, and has given her this beautiful grandson.

"I want you to know that I am so thankful to have met Jessica, and to have had her in my life. She was a good mom and a wonderful woman. I know she got a lot of that from you." Ashley told Evelyn.

"Thank you, Honey." Evelyn said with a few tears in her eyes.

Ashley blinked away a few tears, taking a few deep breaths .

"I miss her." Ashley whispered.

"I know you do, Sweetie. I miss her too." Evelyn said wrapping an arm around her.

Ashley pulled Charlie on her lap hugging her tight. The smell of his hair made her feel calm. She wanted him to continue feeling happy to feel loved always. So far they appear to be doing a good job of that. Charlie still has one Mom, his Grandparents, and lots of Aunties to care for him and make sure he remembers Jessica and how much she loved him.

"Thank you for loving her and making her happy."Evelyn said.

"You're welcome."

"So...do you want to stay for lunch?"

"Sure." Ashley replied.

This family is going to be okay in time. They all had each other, and there would always be love in their home.

Ashley is home after work. She just fed Charlie and has put him down for a nap while her mother is making lunch. She's midway through her sandwich when there is a knock at her door.

"Hey, how are you?" Ashley says greeting Stacie with a hug.

"Doing good, how are you?" Stacie replied.

The two of them went into the living room and sat on the couch to talk. It is good to see Stacie, and to see her friends care so much for her and want to check in on her. Ashley has been back to work for awhile now and has been working on finding her normal routine again.

"So you look good. How's it been being back to work?" Stacie asked.

"It's been okay. Focusing on work has been helping me."

"That's good, Ash. I'm really happy for you." Stacie said laying a hand on her friend's arm.

Even though Ashley seemed to be doing okay, Stacie could see there is still sadness in her eyes. Of course nobody expected Ashley to just get over this and move on. Stacie is glad to see Ashley trying, but also can see that there is a lot of pain she is holding back. Madelyn is cleaning up the kitchen while quietly observing them. It makes her feel better that Ashley has so many people to talk to, and that her experience with the Bellas had built a close group of friends around her.

"So have you been getting out of the house lately besides going to work?" Stacie asked.

"Not really. I've been busy taking care of Charlie, and getting things done around here."

"You wanna get out of here for awhile; a little change of scenery?" Stacie asked her.

Ashley looks back at her mom a little unsure while her mom mouths 'Go', and with a nod she agrees.

"Sure, it couldn't hurt."

With that they both get in Stacie's car, and the two drive out of town a bit just to get away from everything familiar, and all the craziness that has been going on. Ashley loses herself in the drive and just stares out the window. Other than going to work, this is the first time in a long while Ashley has gone anywhere without the baby, and it was nice to take some time for herself after all that has happened. Eventually they stop and pull in near a park to just talk. Stacie wanted Ashley to know that here she was free to express whatever was on her mind, and she didn't have to worry about putting on a brave face.

"So, you've been really quiet the whole ride up here." Stacie said. " Anything you wanna talk about?"

Ashley just shrugged her shoulders. She didn't know what to say or how to explain what was going on in her head.

"You know you can tell me anything you're feeling." Stacie told her. With a sigh, Ashley spoke up.

"I...I just wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't miss Jessica like crazy...and then I feel guilty for feeling that way." Ashley explained wiping away tears.

"I don't want to forget her; I love her. I just don't want to hurt anymore."

"Sweetie, you don't have to be in a hurry to move on." Stacie told Ashley, while giving her a hug. "You're doing the best you can, and that's all you can do."

Ashley nods. She knew what Ashley said was true. She just didn't know how to get to the next step.

"Look, none of the other girls know about this except for Cynthia, but I do know what it's like to lose someone you love." Stacie told Ashley.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was a long time ago, when I was in middle school." Stacie explained. "There was a girl I went to school with who became my best friend, and eventually we fell in love. We hadn't told anyone about us...we were afraid to. When her parents found out about us we weren't allowed to keep seeing each other, and at the time I didn't know that it would be the last time I'd ever see her." Stacie took a deep breath before continuing. "I found out from a friend later that she had died."

"What happened to her?" Ashley asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Stacie said shaking her head.

"I'm sorry." Ashley told Stacie.

Ashley knew this had to be an incredibly hard story for Stacie to share, but she appreciated that she did. She could tell this was still with Stacie, but somehow she is still standing and has an amazing life of her own now. It gave her a little bit of hope.

"I'm glad I have Cynthia now. I didn't think I could love someone else this much, but I don't know where I'd be without her now." Stacie said.

"I don't know if I could ever feel that way about anyone else. Jess was and still is the love of my life. I couldn' t see myself getting there."

"Well if that doesn't happen for you, that's okay, too. Even if you don't end up sharing your life with someone else, there is a light at the end of the tunnel." Stacie told her and Ashley nodded.

"Thanks again for this, Stacie." Ashley said with a hug.

"No problem."

The whole ride back to her house, Ashley let what Stacie told her sink in. It meant a lot to Ashley that Stacie took this time to help her through this, and to share her painful past. As hard as her teen years must have been, somehow Stacie got through it unscathed, and has a beautiful family with Cynthia -Rose. If Stacie could get through her loss, certainly Ashley could too.

When Ashley got home, everyone was asleep and she quietly went into her room, sitting on her bed. She picked up the photo of her and Jessica on the nightstand staring at it. She thought about how full of life Jessica was and how nothing would change how much Ashley loved her. Even years down the road as their son is growing up and people come and go in their lives, Ashley will always remember the love she's always had for Jessica, and how it made her feel good. No matter what has happened, Ashley will never be sorry she's had this wonderful woman in her life.