CHAPTER 28

His Fate Is Sealed

I came awake in stages, lying as still as a stone, cautiously assessing my situation. It was something I'd perfected during my time in the cellar because so many times, I'd awaken to find Durant sitting in his chair—masturbating or just watching me. The longer I put off confrontations with him the better.

I was lying on my side, mesmerized by the brilliant sunlight streaming through the window, thinking about all the times I'd taken that sight for granted.

"What are you doing here?" From behind me, I heard Ranger speak. For a moment, I thought he was talking to me, but then I realized he was making an effort to keep his voice low; I guess to avoid disturbing me, but his intensity was alarming. I'd almost startled at his harsh tone but managed to pretend I was still asleep. Eavesdropping was the easiest way to find out what was going on.

He must have been sitting in a chair on the other side of my bed because I heard him get to his feet and take a couple steps away. My curiosity was getting the better of me and I was getting ready to turn over until I heard Joe. "I came to visit Stephanie just like every other morning."

"You left her alone last night."

"I got called into work. She wasn't alone. There's a hospital full of people and you had two men posted at the door." Joe wasn't happy being put on the defensive. I could only imagine how much this whole thing has turned his life upside down. Instead of continuing to defend his actions, he said, "The feds called me again this morning. They want to set up a time to question Stephanie."

"That won't happen until Dr. Powell and Dr. Harris agree that she's ready."

"Don't you want to know what happened to her… where she's been?" When Ranger didn't say anything, Joe continued. "I don't think they'll hold off much longer." He inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. "That agent has a hard on to close this case."

"He can wait."

I agreed with Ranger. The feds would have to wait—the longer the better.

"We still don't know whose clothes she was wearing and where she's been." Joe's frustration was coming through loud and clear. "And the Pine Barrens is a vast area; we could use some extra boots on the ground, but the feds think it's a waste of time going door to door. They think it'll be more efficient to just wait until Stephanie tells them where she was being held." He was quiet for a minute and then said, "They haven't been informed that she's lost a months' worth of memories."

It sounded like the feds were banking on me being able to tell them what happened and where the cellar was. If I was conveniently unable to give them that information, then they'd have nothing. That was good news for me. I listened for as long as I could, but once my bladder started screaming for relief, I knew I had to get up. As soon as I moved my arm out from under the blanket, I was immediately aware of two things. First, my body wasn't hurting as badly as yesterday, and secondly, the room grew quiet. I threw the blanket completely off and slid my leg off the bed as I tried to sit up.

"Hey… careful." Joe rushed around the bed with his hands out to steady me. "Let me help you." He placed his hands on my shoulders, helping me sit up.

I looked down at my broken hand, noting the swelling in my fingers had gone down. I twisted my waist a little, testing the soreness in my ribs and found they didn't hurt as much either. I looked over at the chair Diesel had been sitting in last night and remembered falling asleep in his arms. When I asked if he was healing me, he hadn't denied it.

Ranger came around the bed, watching me with curious eyes. "Did Diesel do anything to hurt you last night?" So, Ranger knew that Diesel had been here and if his steely gaze was any indication, he wasn't happy about it. Me… on the other hand… I was grateful that Diesel had popped in. He gave me vital information about Durant and used his talents to help me heal.

"Actually, I'm feeling better today." I said as I grabbed onto Joe's arm, using it for support as I stood. He grasped my elbow and helped me push the IV trolley to the bathroom. "I've got it from here," I said as he continued to follow me inside.

"Are you sure?" Joe smiled mischievously. "I could hold your gown for you."

I rolled my eyes and waited for him to leave before closing the door. I took care of nature's call and when I looked into the mirror, I had to muffle a shriek. I looked like a rejected groupie from an 80's rock band. I wet my hand, running it through my curls, trying to coax them down. A hair tie and my brush were lying on the shelf next to the sink. I picked up the brush and used it to smooth my hair back into a ponytail. It wasn't great, but it was better than before. When I opened the door, Joe was waiting to help me back to bed. As soon as I was settled, his questions began.

"Can you tell us what happened to you?" I wanted to roll my eyes at his single-minded pursuit. Always the cop, I guess.

I hated being evasive, neither of these men were fools. Joe might be the one asking the questions, but Ranger's dark eyes were fixed on mine, his attention focused solely on my answers. He'd done so much for me over the years and paying him back by being dishonest didn't sit well. It was on the tip of my tongue to confess. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me. But I couldn't push the words out. Anyway, it wasn't fair to shoulder him with my guilty conscience. We weren't in a relationship and I needed to grow up and deal with my own problems.

I kept my eyes on the blanket, rolling it between my fingers and then straightening it. When I realized what I was doing, I smoothed the blanket one last time and clasped my hands in my lap. They knew I was hiding something, Ranger more so than Joe. Obviously, I wasn't going to tell them Durant was in the cellar, shackled, and waiting to die—not until enough time had passed for me to be certain he was dead. The last thing I wanted to do was make them culpable in my crime.

Despite what I was allowing to happen to Durant, I didn't want to outright lie to two of the most important men in my life—but I would if I had to. I decided to answer Joe's questions with a couple of my own. "What do you know about my accident? Did anyone else get hurt?"

"No one else was hurt," Ranger said, as he contemplated me thoughtfully, but neither one of them chose to add anything to that statement. Instead, they waited for me to fill in the awkward silence. They were trained interrogators after all.

"Have you remembered anything else… anything at all?" Joe asked.

I opened my mouth but couldn't make the words come. They were hoping my memories had magically returned and that I'd be able to tell them exactly who did this to me. It was time for me to go on the offensive. The thought of misleading Joe was easier for me to stomach. I didn't want to think about why that was, but I knew it had something to do with the respect Ranger and I had for each other. Taking control of the 'interview,' I met Joe's eyes and asked him a direct question, careful not to lie. "You said I was gone for a month. Where was I?"

Joe silently watched me as he tried to come up with an appropriate response that wouldn't get him in trouble with my doctor or deter my recovery. I hated manipulating him, but it was his own fault. He wasn't supposed to be questioning me. Luckily for him, a hospital worker came in carrying my breakfast tray and saved him from having to answer. She placed it on the rolling table and left.

As Ranger repositioned the table closer to me, he leaned in, pinning me with his eyes and whispered low enough that Joe wouldn't hear. "I know you're hiding something." His warm breath whispered against my ear. As if he hadn't just called me out on my deceit, he placed a soft kiss on my forehead and lifted the dome covering my plate, revealing a bowl of oatmeal drizzled with applesauce. I wasn't a fan of heart smart food, but beggars can't be choosers. He noticed my reaction and his mouth tipped up at the edges, like he was thinking about smiling, but didn't want to commit. My insides warmed. I loved that smile. Who am I kidding? I loved all his smiles.

"The nurse said if you keep this down, your mother can bring you lunch. Or I could have Ella make you something. Your choice."

As much as I loved Ella's food, I had been dreaming of my mother's cooking for weeks. I slowly ate every bite of the oatmeal. Then I finished the apple juice and a carton of milk. Still hungry, I looked at the tray to make sure I'd gotten everything. Maybe there was an overlooked piece of bacon or a donut. But to my disappointment, there was nothing.

Ranger chuckled. "Would you like more to eat?" I nodded and then looked away—embarrassed that I was so hungry.

Ranger left and was back in seconds with two pudding cups, one vanilla and one chocolate. He opened them for me, and I dug in. When I was done, I put the spoon and empty cup on the table and became fixated on my hands. I brought them to my face, inspecting them. My left hand was partially covered in a cast and my right hand had a bandage across the palm. The white bandage slowly started turning red until the blood seeped through and began dripping down my forearm and onto the blankets. I wondered why Ranger and Joe weren't racing over here to help me. I looked up at them, but they were only frowning at me as if puzzled by my behavior. Didn't they see all the blood? When I looked back down at my hands, the blood was gone. I turned them over, examining them and… nothing. They had been covered only seconds before and now they were clean. What's happening to me? Suddenly, it dawned on me. I had blood on my hands because I was a murderer and I'd never be able to wash it away. I felt a stinging sensation behind my eyes and then tears started falling down my face.

"Steph, honey, please don't cry." Joe begged.

I ignored him. I couldn't talk. I couldn't explain. I was a horrible person and I wanted to be by myself. My shoulders shook as I cried harder. I turned over on my side, careful of my injuries, and curled into a ball. I burrowed my face into the pillow and brought the blanket to my ears to hide my face. I'd been at a heightened sense of survival for the last month—always on the alert for anything that could save my life and now that I was safe—I was so damn tired. All I wanted to do was disappear into sleep where I could escape the consequences of my actions and what happened to me.

Ranger pulled the blanket from over my head and adjusted it around my shoulders. "Babe, everything's going to be okay. I promise." He sounded so heartfelt and sure of himself, but he shouldn't make promises he couldn't keep. They wanted me to be the same girl I was before, but I wasn't. If they knew what kind of person I truly was, they wouldn't love me.

I didn't like being responsible for someone's death, not even Durant's. Knowing that he was starving while I'd been eating oatmeal and pudding made me a horrible person. I had to fight to keep my food down when it rolled over in my stomach. I couldn't do it. I couldn't let him die. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to deny the image of him lying on the smelly mattress, injured and dying. "I have to go back… " I blurted out at the same time Joe spoke.

"Rex can't wait to… "

When I heard the name, Rex, my eyes popped open and I jolted straight up, forgetting about the pain I was in. I looked from one man to the other. "Rex! Where is he?" I cried. Durant told me I'd been missing a week before anyone noticed. What if Rex was dead? I didn't wait for them to answer. I frantically threw the blanket off, ready to jump out of bed and go home, even if it killed me. I had one foot on the floor when Ranger carefully lifted me in his arms, holding me against his chest for a moment before setting me back on the side of the bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" Morelli asked.

"Home!" I shouted. Rex was the only thing I could think of—the only thing that mattered. He had to be alive. Sitting up so quickly sent my head spinning. I fell back on the bed in defeat, tears rolling down my face.

"He's fine, Cupcake," Joe soothed as he tried to calm me down. "He's at Mary Lou's. Her boys are taking care of him."

I sagged with relief and then remembered something Durant had said. I blinked my eyes to clear the tears and looked back and forth between Ranger and Joe. I had to know if what he said was true. "How long was Rex alone before anyone found him?" Both men's faces went from concerned to blank in an instant. They were hiding something. I wanted an honest answer and I wanted it now. "Tell me!" I shouted at Joe. His body tensed and he hung his head, dejected.

"One week," Ranger said.

I put my hand over my mouth to hold back my cry. "A week?" I whispered. My poor baby was alone and hungry, afraid that I'd forgotten about him. I knew what it was like to be forgotten. I scooted away from them. When I got control of my emotions, I looked at Joe. "Is he really okay?"

Joe nodded his head, exhaling a relieved breath that he had something positive to tell me. "He was a little weak, but he still had water, thanks to the new habitat with the automatic food and water dispenser you got him for Christmas."

I used the back of my hand to wipe the tears from my swollen eyes. "He's really okay?" I asked again just so I could hear the words.

"Yeah," Joe smiled encouragingly.

I gave him the squinty eye to let him know I meant business. "I'll know if it's not Rex. If you replaced him like some goldfish… I'll know."

Joe's jaw dropped, astonished that I'd consider him capable of such treachery. "I'd never do that, Steph."

"You look me in the eye and promise MY Rex is okay!" I drew out the word because I wasn't sure I believed him.

His face turned serious. "I promise."

I was aware that my reactions were over the top, but Rex depended on me, and he almost died because I wasn't there to take care of him like I was supposed to. My body started shaking with huge wracking sobs as I completely lost it. Joe pulled his phone out, and the next thing I knew I was Face Timing with Mary Lou and Rex. "Look at him, Steph." She showed me Rex in his habitat, sitting on her coffee table, nibbling on a carrot. "He's okay, honey, I promise. The boys are being real careful with him this time. And Mikey even promised not to play crash test dummy."

I tried not to laugh, but it came out as a sob. I remembered the last time Mare hamster-sat. Her boys put Rex in their toy cars and played demolition derby, sending my poor baby scampering to the corner, waiting for Mare to come along and put him back in the safety of his home. I turned over on my side, curled into a ball with Joe's phone in my hand and watched Rex go into his can; wiggling his bottom to get comfortable.

I squeezed my eyes shut. "He. Almost. Died." I said in between sobs. I couldn't catch my breath. "He must've been so scared. I talk to him every day. He probably thinks I forgot about him."

Joe pushed the call button for the nurse while Ranger took the phone from me with one hand and used his other to smooth along my back, giving me a gentle smile. "Babe, you have to calm down."

I knew I was overreacting, but I couldn't stop crying. They probably thought I was crazy for worrying about a silly hamster, but Rex had been a constant in my life for so long. When others abandoned or hurt me, he'd been there, a silent friend I could talk to. Once the tears started, I wasn't just crying for Rex—or for what happened to me—I was crying for the women who died in the cellar. Their hopes and dreams had been thrown away by a psychopath who trapped them in glass. And I was also crying because I felt guilty for getting away when they didn't. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

In Joe's attempt to cheer me up, he'd said the one thing that obliterated all my doubts and sealed Durant's fate.

Rex.