Edward...
I am not too proud a man to admit that I feel fear. In fact, I believe accepting fear and pushing past it makes for a stronger person than those who would pretend they can ignore it.
Therefore, I am not afraid to say that I felt fear today. When the reports started coming in that someone was targeting State Alchemists, it made me nervous. And yet I had confidence that should I cross paths with this man, I could take him on. Well, I call it confidence. Others may say arrogance.
To my great shame, I never considered you until it was too late. Up until the moment I saw you fighting that man…it was the first time I'd felt a twinge of regret about bringing you to the military. You're little more than a child! And I'm the reason you were put in that sort of danger…
Worse than all that, though, was how you just gave up. In order to save Alphonse, you were willing to let yourself be killed. On the surface, that might seem a noble notion, but I think I see deeper. Al wouldn't want you to do something like that, and I would like to think the Ed I know would never stop fighting. That's what I tried to instill in you.
So why would you surrender so easily? Just because you lost your automail arm? Al isn't a State Alchemist, so he would, in theory, be safe regardless so long as he didn't get in between that man (they're calling him Scar, now) and you. Considering the state of him, he couldn't have hampered Scar's attempts on your life, so he was already safe regardless of what you did. With that being the case, you had other options. Try to keep fighting, try to run away…
Instead, you essentially chose suicide. Why do you want to die, Edward? Why is that a bearable concept for you?
I don't know why you're feeling this way. Not to say I don't understand why you could, but…I thought you had hope. I'll have to keep a closer eye on you; I don't want to see anything happen to you, Ed. Hopefully Alphonse managed to smack some sense into you.
Please, Edward. Stay alive.
Thoughts with you,
Colonel Roy Mustang