CHAPTER 31

You've Made Yourself Crystal Clear

Ranger's heart ached at the sight of Stephanie resting peacefully for a change. As soon as he was told she'd had a panic attack, he raced to the hospital, but no one had been able to explain what had caused her to hide under the bed, cowering. He had to touch her and be with her in whatever way he could. He slid onto the bed beside her, gently tucking her slender body against his, offering her the only thing he could—his love and strength. He'd enjoy his time alone with her because the second she woke she'd push him away just as she had earlier.

Several hours later, a soft knock sounded on the door. Ranger carefully dislodged his arm from under Stephanie's head and slid off the bed. As he made his way to the door, he glanced back to see if he'd disturbed her. She was still sleeping soundly. He quietly opened the door and as soon as he saw it was Lester, he pulled him into the room by his shirt and pushed him against the wall, his hand around the man's throat, toes barely touching the floor. "What did you do to her?" he hissed.

Since Ranger's back was to Stephanie, he didn't notice when her eyes popped open. He was too focused on Lester, who was struggling to say something, but there was no way he could speak with Ranger's hand squeezing his throat. Ranger had told her once that she'd never seen him angry and he'd been right. Angry Ranger was scaring the hell out of her.

"Ranger, stop!"

Her voice had an instant calming effect on him. It gave him time to really look at Lester. He saw the guilt and regret on his face and let him go.

"I don't know what happened," Lester said as soon as he got his breath back. "I just wanted to surprise her with her favorite ice cream. I thought she'd be happy. As soon as she saw me, she jumped out of the bed so fast I couldn't stop her." Lester glanced over at Stephanie, noticing the tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry, Les." Her voice was so tiny, they could barely hear her.

Ranger came over to her side and kissed her forehead. "You did nothing to be sorry for, Babe." He smoothed her hair. "Get some rest." He turned back to Lester and pointed to the door. "Outside." Once they were in the hall, he crossed his arms over his chest. "Tell me what happened."

"I came in like usual, but this time I brought a happy surprise, or at least I thought it was going to make her happy." He was running his fingers through his spiked hair as he paced. "She knocked the cartons of ice cream out of my hand and freaked the fuck out. Then she crawled under the bed and started chanting good morning to somebody over and over… or at least that's what it sounded like. I pushed the button for the nurse, and she tried to get her to calm down, but Steph just curled into herself, rocking back and forth. She finally had to sedate her." Lester blew out a breath. "I asked the nurse what was happening to her and she said Stephanie was having a panic attack."

"Panic attacks involve a trigger," Ranger said. "You had to have done something to set her off."

"Maybe I just scared her." Lester raised his hands in helpless defeat. "I don't know, man."

Ranger accepted his explanation, even though it didn't make sense. He agreed with Lester. Ice cream should have made her happy, but it didn't. Why? After he regained control of his emotions, Ranger went back inside, and Lester followed. Lester gave Stephanie a sad smile, but he stayed several feet away. He was afraid he'd do something to set her off again and that broke his heart.

Stephanie's face was clouded with misery. Lester was her friend and now he was afraid to be around her. "I'm sorry," she said as she reached for him. He reluctantly went to her, sitting on the side of her bed and pulling her into his embrace. "It was all my fault," she said as she cried into his shoulder. "You didn't do anything wrong."

After he held her for several minutes, he kissed her cheek and pulled back, studying her. "Dr. Powell said you had a panic attack."

She wasn't sure what had happened to her, but she hoped to never experience it again. Hallucinating in the cellar was one thing, but to do it… now? Her bottom lip trembled as tears flowed harder.

Lester frowned as he cupped his hand over his mouth and breathed. "Was it my breath?" Then he lifted his arm and sniffed. "Did my deodorant fail?" He shook his head and sighed. "I've had this problem before… women running from me for no reason. I'm starting to get a complex."

Stephanie's mouth slowly widened into a big smile and then she began to laugh. Women didn't run from Lester, just the opposite in fact, and he knew it. He had this disarming way about him that drew women to him, and she was no exception. In a lot of ways, they were alike. They both enjoyed a good laugh and tried not to take life too seriously. This right here was what she needed. He was just being himself and she'd bet he had no idea how much he meant to her. A second ago, she'd been feeling borderline insane and now she was laughing with a friend as if everything was normal. It was one of the many reasons she enjoyed spending time with him. He had a way of making people feel better.

Ranger had been standing back, watching their interaction. He wasn't jealous, but he wasn't pleased with Lester's familiarity. He wished he could make her laugh right now, but all he seemed to be able to do is make her sad.

"At least now you don't have to talk to the FBI," Lester said. "Not today, anyway."

She arched one eyebrow in question.

"Your doctor denied the agents another interview. She thinks yesterday's questioning was too much for you and contributed to the panic attack."

She grabbed the deck of cards from the bedside table and handed them to Lester. She didn't want to talk anymore, and hoped he'd get the hint. "Deal." She scooted over in the bed so he could have more room.

His face lit up as he got comfortable. "You feelin lucky, Beautiful?"

She grabbed a gummy bear off the rolling table and threw it at him. He ducked and it sailed by his head, narrowly missing Ranger. Stephanie's eyes got big.

"Huh oh. You've done it now, Beautiful." He looked over his shoulder at Ranger as he continued to deal the cards. "You want in, cousin?"

Ranger gave a small laugh and shook his head. He watched them play cards for a few minutes and then his phone beeped with an incoming text. He checked his phone and walked to the other side of Stephanie's bed. "I have to take off." He kissed her on the forehead and gave Lester a warning look. No one needed that translated.

As soon as the door closed behind Ranger, Hector breezed in. Lester looked up, motioning him over. "Hermano, we're playing Texas Hold'em. You want in?" Hector nodded and placed a three-pound container of M&M's on the rolling table and then pulled up a chair. "Now, that's what I'm talking about." Lester rubbed his hands together as he eyed the tub of candy. "I'm going to win so many M&M's from you both that I'll probably blow up like that girl on Willy Wonka. The Oompa Loompas will have to roll me out of here."

Hector and Stephanie gave each other a horrified yet relieved look. Usually, Lester tried to talk them into playing strip poker. It never worked, but he always gave it his best shot. As they played, Stephanie decided to ask a question that had been nagging at her. "Why do I have a memory of you carrying me in your arms while running?" she asked Lester.

Lester ate a handful of M&M's and then pushed five forward, placing his bet. "Hector and I were the lucky ones to stumble across you first." He shrugged like it was no big deal.

"I'm lucky you came." She bit her lip to keep from crying and glanced between them. "Thank you."

Lester gave her a flirty wink. "When Wonder Woman calls for assistance, only the best men will do."

By the time Ranger returned, Stephanie was getting hungry for more than the occasional M&M. And if she wasn't mistaken, she smelled Ella's cooking coming from the insulated bag he carried.

"Damn, this was my best hand yet," Lester said as Hector started collecting the cards. He bounced his eyebrows up and down and his dimples deepened as he leaned in to whisper. "I'll be outside your door all night, Beautiful. I could come in later and rub your—"

Ranger gripped Lester by the scruff of his neck. Lester's eyes widened in exaggerated horror. Stephanie turned to Hector, biting her lip to keep from laughing. The corner of Ranger's mouth was curved at the edges, enjoying himself while giving Lester a little payback for kissing his woman earlier.

After Ranger released him, Lester straightened his collar and rolled his neck. "Why am I always getting manhandled?" he asked Stephanie. She put her hand over her mouth, hiding her giggle. "It's because I'm so pretty… right?" He flipped his imaginary hair over his shoulder and planted a quick kiss on Stephanie's lips before grabbing a handful of his winnings, popping several into his mouth.

Ranger made a growling sound low in his throat. Lester was pushing his luck.

"What?" Lester slid off the bed, shrugging innocently. "I could have suggested we play for articles of clothing instead of M&M's, but I was being a gentleman." On that note, he strutted out of the room humming happily.

Hector laughed before he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "I will be at the hotel if you need me tonight."

Ranger could hear her stomach growling from across the room as he placed their dinner on the small table by the window. Her appetite was one of the many things he found endearing about her. He was aware of the power he had over her, but when Ella's cooking was placed in front of her, she had tunnel vision until it was all gone. His ego took the hit every time.

"Ella sent your favorite." His mouth curled up at the edges as he thought about smiling. If he smiled each time he thought of her, he'd be smiling entirely too much.

He helped her get seated at the small table before taking the lid off her plate. She smiled when she saw her favorite, fettuccine alfredo and garlic bread. Her eyes traveled across the table, watching as he took the lid off his plate. When she saw the grilled chicken on a bed of brown rice and asparagus, her smile disappeared, replaced with a frown and a full body shiver. He tried not to laugh at her reaction to his healthy meal. But when she pushed away from the table, he became concerned. He put his fork down. "What's wrong, Babe?"

One look at the asparagus had sent Stephanie spiraling back to the cellar, reliving the elegant meal Durant brought when he dressed her up in the fancy dress for their date. Her appetite vanished. She tried telling herself it was just food, but it was causing such a visceral reaction she wasn't sure she could sit here while he ate.

"Nothing." She shook her head and made a pained face, not wanting to go into detail as to why his meal disturbed her. "I just can't stand the smell of the asparagus."

Since when? Ranger had eaten this exact meal many times in front of her. He waited for her to explain further, but when she got up and started walking away, he knew she wasn't going to add more. He tenderly touched her elbow, afraid to make her even more skittish. "Let me get rid of it." He quickly gathered the offending vegetables, placed them in a napkin, and threw them in the garbage. "Is that better?"

She avoided looking directly at him but agreed to sit back down. They ate in silence. It was a little awkward considering they hadn't had any real alone time to test the new boundaries of their friendship since their conversation in her apartment before she was kidnapped.

Stephanie knew there were bound to be changes in their relationship… probably in ways she couldn't comprehend. She was going to have to make it clear to him that he couldn't break into her apartment in the middle of the night and there'd be no more gifts of cars or depending on him for protection. If she couldn't find a way to do her job without getting hurt, she was going to quit. Ranger was here for her now, but he wouldn't always be here for her. It was time she learned how to stand on her own feet.

Once they were finished with the main course, Ranger revealed the triple layer chocolate cake Ella had made especially for her. He sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, muscles bulging. He couldn't help smiling as he watched her stuff her mouth with cake.

Stephanie couldn't read people as well as Ranger, but it was clear he had something on his mind. She just wasn't sure she was ready to hear what he had to say. Just when she didn't think she could take the tension a second longer, he got up and started clearing their plates away and helped her back to bed.

When he slid in behind her, spooning her against him, her first instinct was to cuddle in and enjoy his strength, but that went against everything she'd just resolved to do. She sighed because she was weak and decided one last time wouldn't hurt. She snuggled in closer enjoying the feel of his warm, hard body pressed against hers.

"Why didn't you tell me someone was bothering you?" Ranger whispered as he rubbed his thumb over her wrist.

She waited a while before responding, hating that he demanded answers from her but rarely offered any of his own. "I thought I was imagining everything at first. But then it kept happening. I was going to tell you about it when you stopped by before Christmas." She cleared her throat, not really wanting to rehash their previous conversation. "After our talk, it didn't seem right to bother you with my problems anymore."

His fingers stopped moving over her skin. "I've told you before. I'm emotionally attached to you. When you're in danger, I need to know about it." He wasn't being harsh, but adamant. She shouldn't need to be reminded how important she was to him, but it looked like she did. "All of Rangeman is at your disposal… always. When your intuition tells you something's not right, tell someone." He slipped his fingers between hers and squeezed for emphasis. "Even if you just think you're in danger, tell me. I almost lost you, Babe. Do you know what that did to me?"

No, she really didn't. And right now, his actions were confusing her. He continually reminded her that she was important to him, that he loved her in his own way, but she needed more from him. She needed him to be 'in love' with her. There was a difference between the two. A big one.

Sure, she and Morelli had an unhealthy relationship, but this wasn't any healthier. In fact, she was certain it was damaging an integral part of her. She turned over onto her back, placing room between them. Desperate to change the subject, she asked, "Did Julie like the bookcase?"

He took a moment to catch up with the change in topic and then nodded his head before sliding off the bed and taking his seat in the chair once again.

"Details, Ranger." She kept her voice strong as she pretended not to feel the loss. "Did she squeal in delight or just politely say thank you?"

"She squealed and jumped up and down." He silently laughed. "And when she remembered me again, she politely thanked me."

"See?" Stephanie moved her foot from under the covers, nudging his knee. "What did I tell you?" She happily gloated.

As soon as he saw her scared ankle, his smile fell, and his face became hard. She tried to pull her leg back under the covers, but he leaned forward, gently holding her calf while he rubbed his thumb over the marks.

Her foot wasn't going anywhere, and she knew it. To get his focus off her injuries, she said, "Tell me you at least had some fun in Miami while you were there." An odd look flashed across his face, but there wasn't enough time to decide what it meant. Had she caused him to miss an important meeting or lose an account? "I'm sorry I messed up your visit."

He got out of the chair and sat with his hip on the bed. He leaned over, laying his head on her breast, her steady heartbeat reassuring him that she was alive. "Nothing is more important than you."

There were so many emotions behind that statement—emotions she didn't understand. The things he said and the way he acted were in direct conflict with each other and it confused her.

"I know you remember what happened to you." His soft voice was tinged with frustration. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

He was used to issuing orders and his men falling in line like good little soldiers, but Stephanie was no soldier. She was the leader of her own line.

"How can I protect you if you don't tell me what happened?" His hand was laying low on her stomach, gently stroking her, staking a claim that he had no right to.

She tried not to get angry. He kept plenty of secrets from her, yet he wanted her to spill all of hers. "There's nothing you can do to help me, Ranger." She tried to put his mind at ease, but if she said any more, he'd figure out what she was hiding and find a way to take care of Durant himself.

"I'll be worried until whoever did this to you is dead."