August 26th. Albion's Hearth. Prince Le Fay's personal study
Like any person of the noble and high standing in the Wizarding World, Prince Le Fay was no stranger to the official business that was conducted between the Noble Houses and their respective Lords. Being a Noble with a Royal Bloodline and now a significant number of vassal Houses, Henry had to immerse himself in the dealings of said Houses, or else suffer from a disorder and chaos. And an ancient blood feud between two Noble Houses that have both pledged their allegiance to House Le Fay was no small matter, not when both of the Lords have decided to take advantage of the chaotic situation in the country and resume their bloody business.
Although it had been only five days, the Magical Britain was now practically unrecognizable from the one that was before this entire business with Order of the Phoenix had begun. Hundreds of the Wizards and Witches were arrested, all caught in a conspiracy and in connections with the Order, with many of them being of the Noble descent. Dozens still were unaccounted for and wanted for questioning, including the head of this cabal, Albus Percival Wulfrick Brain Dumbledore.
Speaking of the man himself, after the reveal of his part in the entire thing, he had officially been stripped of all honors, rewards, titles and possessions, with all of his bank accounts having been seized by Goblins. As for his status as a worldwide hero and effectively head of the International Confederacy of Wizards, it too had been revoked and approved by the Confederacy, having been presented with the proof of Dumbledore's crimes. Former Headmaster of Hogwarts was now the most wanted person on the face of the Earth in the Wizarding World.
Hogwarts itself, along with all of its surrounding grounds, were now officially closed off for an undetermined time and it was quite possible that it wouldn't be open again. If it's new holder and ruler wished it to be so, then the Ministry of Magic would be forced to look for a new place in which to teach children of England all that they needed to know of Magic. That's not to mention the fact of House Le Fay expanding their borders to include all of Southern Scotland and its 12 Noble Houses that populated the area. The new Minister of Magic, Amelia Bones had kept her word and officially handed over the control of the area to Henry, on the same terms as were established and recognized ages ago, before the very formation of the Ministries. And now it were two of those very Houses that had recently pledged their allegiance to Henry, that were bickering right in front of him.
House Wulfheart and House de Orleans were two relatively minor families, with the former tracing its origins from Vikings and Anglo-Saxons, while the latter was of the French and Norman descent having come into Britain during the tumultuous years of the Hundred Years War, when they were exiled from the city of Orleans. Two different in culture and nurture Houses had been at each other's throats ever since King Henry V had granted House de Orleans a strip of land that bordered with House Wulfheart.
And the Lords of the latter House had always felt that they were robbed of their own property, while the Lords of the former looked with contempt and barely hidden resentment at their northern neighbors. The official reason for their feud was in alleged murder of Lady de Orleans at the hands of the eldest son of Lord Wulfheart, thought it had never been confirmed to be truthful. The way Henry saw it: these two Houses just liked getting at each other's throats whenever they had the chance and now they were doing it again, trying to get rid of one another. As he sat on his throne, nursing the upcoming headache, with Irene at his left side, and David Greengrass at his right, they all listened as the two Lords entered another pitched round of convincing him and trying to outdo each other in the process.
"Your Highness, I believe that for a man as enlightened and intelligent as you are, sire, it would be but a second's matter to see that this upstart barbarian is clearly trying to discredit your most loyal and able vassals, while also promoting in secret the interests of that scum Dumbledore." Lord Andre de Orleans spoke in a voice so sweet, that one could all but taste it. "Surely, it is not very wise to trust such rabble, especially when they have raising their cups and praising Dumbledore and all his deeds for many years now."
"Like you have never done so yourself, you sniveling snake. Sire, this man and his entire family have all been arse lickers to Dumbledore, much like all of his Slytherin friends, and I wouldn't be all too surprised to find out that he had also was in leagues with those that still support He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Lord Edward Wulfheart countered, with Henry restraining himself from groaning openly. "Milord, give the command, and I swear that with your arms and men I shall personally throw this rabble and all of his upstart siblings out in the cold waters of North Sea and deliver their possessions to you and…"
"My armies and my arms are my own to command, Lord Edward, and I will not spread them around like mercenaries for anyone wishing to settle some kind of minor dispute, like this one." Prince Henry replied in an annoyed tone of voice, with both Lords looking shocked to hear him speak like that. "I've asked of you to give the reasons for you resuming this centuries old feud, yet all I continue to hear are accusations, insults and honeyed words, but nothing on the matter at hand."
"Sire, surely you don't mean to consider our feud as a minor dispute, do you? You can't possibly think that these damned schemers can get away from justice for claiming my House responsible for what we had not done!" Lord Wulfheart spoke up in a bit of shocked tone, while Lord Greengrass produced from his pocket an old looking document.
"Lord Wulfheart, Lord de Orleans, are you aware of the contents of this document?" Both Lords shook their heads, denying any knowledge. "This is the copy of an account of the Wizengamot Session, dating September 31st 1891. During said session, Wizengamot had managed to reach a conclusion of your feud, with a documented resolution still being in the possession of the Wizengamot and safely stored in Archives. The resolution of the feud had been officially witnessed by the Minister of Magic at the time, Chief Warlock and all Noble Houses, with both of your predecessors having signed the treaty and swearing to never again raise any form of dispute on the grounds of your previous feud. In other words, the feud which you, supposedly, claim to be the reason of this altercation, has been settled over a hundred years ago and is thus far null."
"Milord, if you were only to listen…" Lord de Orleans tried to speak up to Prince Henry, who raised his hand, stopping him.
"I have spent all morning listening to you two and it has already given me quite a headache." Henry spoke up in a firm voice. "Now it is you who shall listen to me, and listen you will and well. As a Noble, and as one of the Royal origin, I can understand wishing to settle old scores with my enemies and enemies of my House. However, I am not one to resume already settled wars, and I am certainly not one to drag others into my schemes, especially as moronic as these!" Henry practically shouted at them.
"Milord, I…" Lord Wulfheart wasn't given a chance to speak up.
"I know full well what this all about and it is not about a long dead wife of a lord and her supposed killer. Both of you are simply dissatisfied with the lands and holdings you possess and want to expand them, so naturally you thought that a young, inexperienced and seemingly naïve Prince Le Fay would be most generous to deliver you want you wanted in exchange for an oath of allegiance and some honeyed words, am I correct?" Henry knew from the looks on their faces that he was correct. "I am perfectly aware of the fact that the majority of my vassals in the past had supported Dumbledore, and your words are nothing new for me to hear. Now as for this entire matter about death of Lady de Orleans and the resolution of it, you two and your Houses will abide by the treaty made by your predecessors and put this entire business finally to rest."
"But, Sire, we…" Lord de Orleans tried again to speak up, but he was stopped by Irene.
"Prince Le Fay has made his judgment of this situation and has made his decision regarding this situation. You are to put an end to any and all altercations and animosity between the two Houses and return your affairs in order as they were prior to the beginning of this affair. As a punishment for your deception of His Highness, Houses Wulfheart and de Orleans are to compensate House Le Fay by providing 15 percent of your households' current incomes over the period of a year." The two Lords looked shocked at hearing it. "Failure to do so will result in House Le Fay gaining the right to seize whatever property and items needed to cover for the unaccounted money. Should you continue your altercations, the severity of the consequences shall be increased quite a great deal. Good to you, milords." Irene finished, with the two Lords deciding not to dispute the decision and simply left.
"I thought they wouldn't leave even after hearing of this account." Lord Greengrass let out a sigh, as he put the document back in his pocket. "Just out of curiosity, was there even a murder of the Lady de Orleans or was it just some false reason or something?"
"As far as I am aware, Lord Greengrass, there was no murder of any Lady de Orleans in 16th century, only that Lady Catherina de Orleans, also known as "Lady Airhead" had went riding on her horse and somehow managed to fall off a cliff and break her neck." Irene stated to Lord Greengrass, who cocked an eye brow up. "Like her name implied, the Lady was quite light in the head and with little to no contents in her head, a fact well known to the public. The whole story of her dying at the hands of future Lord Wulfheart was made by House de Orleans in a vain attempt to save face after such an embarrassment."
"If they wanted to just get rid of each other, they should've simply blamed one another of being a supporter of Dumbledore, like all the other vassals seems to do nowadays." David Greengrass shook his head at the fact. "42 House have now pledged their allegiance to House Le Fay, and 20 of those Houses are at each other's throats because of the Order and Dumbledore, and with good reasons to back it up. They seem to think that by pledging their fealty to you, Prince Le Fay, they get out of the entire ordeal mostly unscathed. After all, how could a supporter of Dumbledore pledge his services, loyalty and House to Dumbledore's most dangerous foe?"
"Something will need to be done about it, Your Highness, and quickly." Irene spoke up again. "The distress they could cause with their feuding could be enough to destabilize your position. What would be your decision regarding this situation?"
"We need solid information on who was and is involved with the Order, and who isn't. David, speak with Lord Longbottom, he knows better than anyone who were included in Dumbledore's Order. Once I have the names, I'll deal with them accordingly and with swiftness." Henry stated.
"And how, exactly, do you plan on dealing with them, if you don't mind me asking?" David asked of Henry, who looked him in the eye and spoke again.
"Same way we dealt with the rest of the Order and its supporters." Henry simply stated to him. "Lords and Ladies, along with any members that were directly involved, will be extradited to the Ministry. And if their replacements decide to raise an issue with that, we'll remind them that it is more profitable and safe to be loyal to House Le Fay than to disobey it."
"Dismantle the leadership, install the new one and buy them through your connections and wealth." David Greengrass surmised, nodding to him. "I will contact him first thing once I return home. Which also reminds me, would you be interested in attending a dinner at our house tonight, milord? My wife and I thought that it would be appropriate for us to connect through an informal gathering, not to mention give you a chance to further deepen your connection with Daphne. Lady Davis has already agreed to come, so if you could…"
"A generous offer, Lord Greengrass, but I am afraid that I won't be available for this evening, an urgent matter of utmost importance needs to be resolved as soon as possible and I can't delay it any longer. Please give your wife and daughters my love and sincerest apologies on behalf. Now, if there is nothing else…" Henry rose up from his seat and Lord David bowed to him a little, with Henry leaving the hall.
"This is a third invitation to attend a dinner from his friends he turned down, if I am not mistaken." David commented out loud, once Henry was out of the earshot. "It's like he has distanced himself everyone, even from his closest friends and loved ones. Even today and days before he seemed… distanced, reserved and even somewhat uncaring."
"Lord Greengrass, I apologize if my Lord's behavior had insulted you in any form or manner." Irene spoke up. "The last week, and one before have not been kind to him and it has put quite great deal of strain on his shoulders. The entire ordeal concerning Order of Phoenix and the damage they have caused House Le Fay and its allies has deprived us all of rest."
"No insult was made, Lady Irene, and I can understand that he is going through a lot." Lord Greengrass spoke up in an understanding tone. "Miss Tonks must've been very important to him and he clearly hasn't let go of her and the fact that she is no longer at his side."
"She meant a world to him, milord. Only Lady Tracey and Lady Rose mean as much to him as Lady Nymphadora." Irene spoke up again. "I fear that the wound left in the wake of her death has yet to be healed, if it ever will be. He may not show it, but…" Irene trailed off not finding the words, with Lord David understanding what she meant.
"I think I know what he is going through, a moment in life when he questions if all that he does is worth doing and if it's worth the sacrifices made." David said with experience in his voice. "I know this is not my place to dictate him how to act, since I am a vassal to him. But, if I were to give him an advice, if he were to ask it of me, I would advise him to not distance himself away from all of us. I do not know the reasons for his isolation, but right now, in these times, we can't afford ourselves to be isolated from each other. Good day to you, Lady Irene."
"Good day to you as well, Lord Greengrass." Irene bowed a little before him, until he left the hall and castle, leaving the keeper of House Le Fay with her own thoughts.
As much as Irene may have wanted to deny it, but she had to confront the truth about her current liege. She wasn't blind and didn't have a blind loyalty to him, even if her loyalty was one that couldn't be questioned under any circumstances. That being said, she did however close her eyes to what she had been able to access about her Lord and what made him what he was, more specifically she turned the blind eye to the fact that her Lord was not well.
Physically, he was in the best of health, but spiritually… Henry was not well. In fact, Irene could even state that he was practically beyond what was considered to be spiritually drained, and yet Henry simply kept going on and forward, ignoring everything that had happened to him and resolving not to let it stop him. And Irene full well that there were things that could've broken a lesser man and there many of them, too many to simply forget about. She knew no man that had to suffer and endure as much pain as he did and yet still persist. Irene couldn't help but admire Henry for his iron will and steel determination, something that even a Devil could be envious of.
Unfortunately, she had forgotten that Henry was a man, and a man can only ignore pain for so long, until it finally spills out and consumes him. Add to the fact that this pain was growing, and there is no denying that sooner or later Henry was going to be unable to deal with it. And it seems that this point had come, as Henry had begun to grow distant from everyone around him, even his own sister Rose. He would spend hours alone, not in a company of those that were his friends and family. He has already refused to dine twice with Arcturus and Regulus, his blood and closest allies, isolating himself even front those that were supposed to be his closest allies.
And while he was distancing away from those that were close to him, Irene knew for a fact that he was becoming more and more obsessed with the task he had set for himself: ridding the world of Dumbledore and Voldemort for good. He has taken the advice of Lady Morgana to heart, and now that very same advice seem to have become the reason why he was growing apart from everyone else and becoming single-minded, just like he was before becoming Prince Le Fay. Irene understood, that as the things are right now, Lord David's advice was sound and to the point. Even if Henry was to defeat both Dumbledore and Voldemort alone, the price for their defeats could be too much for him to handle alone, and he needed to see it so.
A firm hand and harsh reprimand wouldn't be of any effect here, Irene understood that it would only close him off even more from everyone else. No, right now it wasn't Morgana Le Fay that should be helping Harry, but someone who was his family, one that cares about him and his well-being. He needs someone who knew what was underneath Henry Arthur Le Fay.
She needed someone who knew the real Harry Potter. With sigh, she opened up a portal and stepped through it, intending to help her Prince heal, or at least let out the pain that consumed him. And knowing who was he was and his memories, there was only one person that came to mind capable of doing what needed to be done.
Several hours later. Prince Le Fay's personal study.
Henry stood at the fireplace, watching the flame dance on the wood and slowly burn it away, feeling the heat coming from it. Even though the heat of the fire was something hard to ignore from such close distance, Henry paid little to no mind to it, at least trying not to, as it reminded him of something he wished not to remember right now. He had neither time, nor desire to indulge in any form of angst as there were things more important to be done. With a shake of the head, he returned to what he was thinking before he allowed his mind to wonder off.
The Order was in shambles and crippled beyond repair, that much was clear to Henry, with its members now declared criminals and hunted within and beyond England. With his own forces committed to the search, he was certain that the complete destruction of the Order was a matter of weeks and was assured. However, it was not the Order that troubled Henry, but its leader, Albus Dumbledore, who had mysteriously vanished without a trace and without any means to track him down. Henry had to admit to himself, that his hope in catching Dumbledore with Hogwarts was a bit naïve, but even he was surprised at the fact of Dumbledore so easily discarding his Order and leaving them to the wolves. Such act of ruthless practicality and betrayal was something he would've expected from Voldemort, but not from the Leader of the Light.
Yet he needed to remember that Voldemort had learned from the best when he had attended Hogwarts and it was possible that he had learned more than just Transmutations from Dumbledore. Still, the fact that the old goat had discarded his beloved Order so easily and without hesitation meant that Dumbledore still had some kind of a backup plan at works and one that was a full proof, at least in Dumbledore's opinion. Henry didn't know what kind of an ace in the hole Dumbledore still had at his disposal, but he had to assume that whatever it was, it was more than enough to give him one hell of battle. If this was true, then it would be prudent for Henry to find Dumbledore as soon as possible.
But until the goat was found, there was the matter with Voldemort that needed to be settled. The removal of the Order and the upheaval in Ministry with the recent removal of a large portion of its bureaucracy had most certainly given Voldemort the opportunity to move without being noticed. Henry was certain that his Slytherin distant kin would not hesitate to milk this opportunity to the fullest, and that was not something he could allow. And if Voldemort was smarter than most of his minions, then he had certainly by now recognized Prince Le Fay as not just a threat, but as a major opponent and obstacle on his path. If that was the case, Henry could expect to become the center of Voldemort's undivided attention.
Harry knew for a fact that he needed to deal with him quickly, before the snake slipped out of his grasp and struck at him. He had already asked Amelia for a private meeting to discuss this with her and he already had a rough plan of action put in place. He had more than enough resources to do the job, and all that required was the green light from the current Minister of Magic. Once it was given, his forces would deal with the Death Eaters in a matter of hours and finally remove the threat of the great and terrifying Dark Lord Voldemort from the face of the Earth for good this time, never to return again.
His planning and thoughts were stopped when he heard a door open, forcing Henry lean away from the fireplace and turn to the door.
"I had asked not to be disturbed. What is that you want, Ir…" Henry shut up mid-word once he had turned and saw who stood in front of him, his eyes widening at the surprise. "A-Andromeda?" He stuttered with the word, as his eyes fell upon a woman that was the mother of his beloved and a surrogate mother to him.
Before him indeed stood Andromeda Tonks, dressed in a black wizard robe, with her dark eyes looked straight into his mismatched ones. He had expected to find in them anger, hatred and fury, for he had deprived her of the most precious person in the entire world- her daughter, Nymphadora. There was no denying of that fact, as Harry was the one who had put a target on her back, and he had not had the courage to confront both of the grieving parents ever since he woke up.
An act of cowardice, one that he couldn't deny, and it would seem that Andromeda was fed up with waiting for Henry to come to her and ask her and Ted's forgiveness. Instead she chose to come to him instead and reap whatever satisfaction she could from the person that took her daughter's life. Harry had steeled himself for it, knowing that there was no denying anymore and he needed to do this. And just as he had prepared and steadied himself for the fury and anger to be unleashed towards him, he heard not a shout, but a near faint whisper.
"Harry…" Harry stood stunned when he saw Andromeda giving him a small smile, unable to comprehend what was going on. "I am glad that you woke up. Thank goodness you've recovered… I-I am sorry that I haven't visited you."
Shocked to the very core, Harry couldn't understand why Andromeda spoke to him like that. He voice carried no malice or anger, but relief, one thing he last expected from her. How could she even stand him, much less be so glad to see him?
"N-no, Andromeda, you have nothing… You have nothing to apologize for." Harry stuttered again, before he collected his bearings and steeled himself again. "You don't need to pretend, Andromeda. I know what you truly think and I deserve your hatred."
"Harry, what are you talking…" Andromeda seemed confused, but Harry continued.
"I-I know that I should've come to see you and Ted once I was awake, but I… I know I deserve your anger and hatred for what happened to Nym, but…" Harry was about to continue, when Andromeda suddenly stepped forward and without any hesitation or sign… pulled him into a hug. "An-Andromeda, what are you doing?" Harry asked her, shocked to the core at her actions.
"I-I am just glad… I am just glad, th-that m-my son is a-alive." Andromeda sobbed in his chest, not seeing Harry's widening eyes. "I-I could never hate you, H-Harry. Y-You… You are my and T-Ted's son, b-blood o-or no b-blood. W-We sh-shouldn't h-have l-left you alone…"
Harry stood there frozen as the woman that had in many ways replaced Dorea and raised him as if he was her own hugged him. Andromeda was special in his heart, not just because she was a mother to Nym or because she was a Black, but because she was the one that knew his heart. Arcturus and Cassiopeia had cared for him, but in their own way and they did not let themselves to pry into Henry's soul and heart. They knew that he was hurt, that he was hurt badly and that pain of what had happened was always with him and wasn't going away. They didn't offer him a supportive shoulder to cry on, instead they respected Harry's wishes of carrying on and not stopping. They respected him and saw him as a grown up, as someone with whom they needed to talk to as an equal to them.
But Andromeda was different, she didn't see a strong man in Harry, but a boy who had been through far too much for him to handle, and who still kept going forward, ignoring the agony burning inside of him. Andromeda, in words of Cassiopeia, was always considered by Blacks to be one with the softest of hearts and easy to connect with others. She saw it as both a weakness and as a strength, and Andromeda had used her trait well to come to know Harry as not just a distant kin of hers, but as a surrogate son. A son that needed her now more than ever, and despite her own grief she was going through, Andromeda needed to there for him, right now. Especially now, when she felt with her heart that Harry was hurting inside more than ever and that he was practically alone.
With a rugged breath, Harry had gently pushed Andromeda away from him. Once she was a couple of steps away from him, looking at him with a surprised look, filled with tears, he spoke to her.
"Wh-why are you doing this, Andromeda?" Harry asked of her. "Is this your way to torture me, hm? Do you want me to lower my guard, to lull me into some form safety, so that you may tear me apart? Why don't you just go ahead and do it already, I know that this is what you want."
"Harry, I am not here to anything to you, and… It was not your fault." Andromeda told him firmly. "Nym's death, her blood is not on your hands, Harry."
"Not on my hands? NOT MY FAULT?!" He shouted at Andromeda. "How in the blazes can say that, Andromeda?! Had I not been as stupid as I was, she wouldn't have been captured. Had I not been as focused on what I wanted to accomplish, she wouldn't have had to spy for them. If I really cared about, if I truly had loved her, if I hadn't put my damn pride ahead of her, I would've convinced her to stay out of it all, but no… No, I have done nothing to prevent what had happened to her, especially when I could. No, her blood, her death… It is all on me. Everything… Everything is my fault, all that has happened…" Harry said with a ragged breath at the end.
"What do you mean by everything, Harry?" She asked of him, morbidly curious to find out what did he mean by that.
"What do I mean? Everything, Andromeda! Every single damn thing that had happened to Rose, to you and Ted, to my grandparents! All of this is my damn fucking fault!" Harry shouted at her, as tears began to well up in his eyes, with Andromeda looking shocked at him. "My grandparents died because Voldemort had come for me and I couldn't do anything to stop him. Nym died because I had allowed her go on with my damn desires for revenge. Kingsley died because he was with me, going through with my plans. Rose… Rose had nearly died at the hands of Riddle because I was too close to his secrets, and then she was tortured by Potters when I left her… All of this… And I am the cause of all this…"
"No!" She firmly said to him, as she took a closer to step to him took him by surprise, when she grabbed his arms and nearly shook him. "Harry, how can you say all of this? You are not responsible for all of this, and you weren't the one who hurt us all. Dorea and Charlus had died because they protected their grandchildren whom they loved and cared for, but you aren't the reason they had died, no! James was the one to sacrifice them and his own children to Voldemort, so that he could take what he wanted. You were just a victim, just as Rose was. You have always put Rose before yourself and your own safety and you have always did everything to keep her safe, but not even you could protect her from becoming a victim of your parents' cruelty or schemes of Dumbledore and Voldemort. Had you not held your tongue at court, Rose would've died in Azkaban, and no one could've known that James and Lily would do to her what they did!"
"And Nymphadora… My daughter, my sweet Nym… You weren't one to put her on the path she chose. She did what she did because it the right thing to do, because it meant saving lives and protecting innocent from the games of the megalomaniacs. She knew her duty, and despite how much I wanted her not to do it… Nym wouldn't stop, because it was the right thing to do. Dumbledore and the Order had taken her away from us, Harry, but you are not the reason she died, Harry! The reason why she died is because did her damn duty, and she protected those she the man she loved, the man is a son to me in all but blood, and a son that I had abandoned when he needed support the most!" Andromeda's eyes welled with tears and they spilled out, as she sobbed and cried out loud.
Harry's own tears didn't stop either, but he stood frozen after what he had heard her say. No retort could come to him and no argument could be formulated in his mind. Instead of trying to debate his guilt, he decided to stop following with his mind, and let his heart decide what to do, and it madly yearned embrace the woman that stood in front of him. Stepping closer to her, he carefully wrapped his arms around her pulling Andromeda in an embrace, as she sobbed with her son, letting out her grief, sharing it with Harry, as he shared his own grief.
They didn't know for how long they stood their together, nor did they care, but eventually they detached from each other, as they moved to the sofa, with Andromeda's eyes looking at her son, before she collected her bearings and spoke up.
"Harry, how are you holding up?" She simply asked of him, knowing what to say to him and how to unravel him, knowing that in front of her he would be honest. "After all that has happened… You can't keep going on like, Harry, not after all that has happened."
"I… I don't even know how I am doing it all to be honest. Half the time… I feel like I'm just going in circles, Andromeda." Harry admitted to her in a hollow voice. "This damn war, all that I have done… It's like the universe just can't let me have a life when I don't have suffer or make others suffer for what I had done. I can't even imagine at this point what it would be like, to have a life without having to always be afraid someone will definitely hurt Rose or take someone precious from me. All my life I lived with pain, suffering from just being alive and hurting my loved once with just my presence: Nym, Rose, Tracey, Dorea, Charlus… Sometimes I think that it would've been better for everyone if I just… If I had just died that night, Andromeda."
"You can't be serious, Harry." Andromeda spoke to him softly. "How can you think that your death would've been better for us all? If you were to die that night, Dorea and Charlus wouldn't have lived, because they would kill Voldemort still at the cost of their lives. And then, with you three dead, James would claim the Lordships, and with William as the Chosen One, do you think the life would've been better for Rose?"
"No… No, it would've been a nightmare, worse than what had happened." Harry admitted in a near whisper, putting his head on his hands. "She would be alone, or worse…"
"And without you, do you think Tracey would've been able to find someone who would accept her as you have?" Andromeda asked of him, with Harry struggling to answer. "You told me yourself that she was alone, with near no friends and afraid for her life because of her gift. Yet you accepted her and gave something precious, something you shared with Nym- your love to them."
"And yet everyone who I love and loves me back suffers because of my existence." Harry said sadly.
"Yes, but we don't deny your existence and we don't shun, and Nym never did and we wouldn't want to be separated from you, Harry. You are a part of many lives and you are dear to many of those that care for you." Andromeda spoke to him. "Dumbledore and Voldemort, they play with the lives of those they see beneath them, toying with them like puppeteers, caring not for their lives and feelings. They see the world as a playground, a chessboard through which they can decide their fate, ignoring the figures and pawns with which they play."
"You are different, Harry, because for them you are someone who dared to defy them their game, their rules. You too play the game, but you are stronger and more powerful than both of them, not just because of sheer might and power. You value others, lives of other people, you see them as people and not as tools like Dumbledore and Voldemort. You are not above humanity like they are, you embraced it, and that is why people connect with you and love you." Andromeda told him. "Those two can't accept it, they can't accept the fact of a human standing in their way, a human that had risen from being swept away like nothing in games of others. They've thrown away their humanity, Harry, because it hurt too much to them to be human, or because they simply didn't have someone to care for. They may seem strong, but let me ask you this: what is behind all their might, power and looks?"
Harry thought about the question for a minute, pondering about the answer, until he had compared himself with both of them. And suddenly, once he had realized what Andromeda talked about, he answered.
"They are alone, shallow and with nothing to them. They don't anything, beside the power and the thirst for it." Harry answered, with Andromeda nodded to him.
"And you have far more than that, Harry: family." She embraced her son again, and this time Harry didn't hesitate to accept her. "Family stands for each other, Harry, and fights for those they love and care for. It is a source of great power, not a weakness to be disposed of. Without it, without love… We are weaker than ever." She hugged her son tightly, closing her eyes.
Harry's tears fell openly from his eyes, but they were not the eyes of grief or anger, but of relief and acceptance. For the first time in many years, he had let out his pain, the hurt that kept agonizing him and which he kept under wraps inside of him. All of it had become too much for him to bear, to control and keep inside of him. He had managed to keep hidden, all of it, but when he heard his grandmother's voice, the one he couldn't even wish to hear…
After elation and joy, it had brought back to him the memories of all that had happened, all that he had lost and all the pain he had endured. The reminding of all of it was practically too much for him, and he couldn't endure to take even more. He didn't even notice how he had drifted away from all that were near him, practically pushing away all that were dear to him and wanted to help him. It was as if he wanted to distance himself away from pain and distance everyone else from himself, to make sure that they don't get hurt, but that isn't the way to go about it. He couldn't ignore the pain, but he couldn't push away what caused that pain, his humanity and his connections to others. If he did that, he would become the very people that he hated the most, and he couldn't bear to do so. No he wouldn't become Dumbledore or Voldemort.
He would be better than them, he already was, because he had his humanity and he won't forsake it. He will defeat them, even if further battles hurt him and those around him, but he will go on. Not just because of himself, but because lives of all he cared and loved were at stake and he would fight for them. He will not see them fall prey to the plans of those that saw themselves above them.
He will fight. He will care. He will love. He will grief and move forward, because he had his soul and humanity.
He would never be Dumbledore's or Voldemort's equal, but he will be better than them.
Feels like one of my weaker chapters, but I think it was needed to show a bit more of my main character side, show his humanity and that all that has happened to him didn't just wash over him and didn't just shape him up as he was. It scarred and hurt Harry and it still with him, even if he doesn't show it. He is human, and that makes him stronger, and even if this looks silly and makes him look like a pansy, I do think that this is needed, a closure for his inner struggle, because the war is coming to a serious phase.
Now, as for why I was absent, again. Remember when I told you that I was sick for most of the November, along with recovering. Well, while my health recovered, my scores and academic progress took quite a hit, and I've not just fell behind my group in the college, but I bloody well managed to collect A LOT of debts in subjects that needed to be closed, if I were to be allowed for the exams. Took me this long to close it all and make sure that I could pass the exams in January without trouble.
There will be two more chapters next week, but I won't be making promises, because the last weeks of university are always hectic as hell because you need to get all your stuff in order, if you want to get a pass on your subjects. Sorry for a wait again.
Now, as for that idea I mentioned last I posted. It is now fully formulated and I may publish it earlier than I thought, but again, no promises. One thing I will say is that J.R.R Tolkien is a KING of Fantasy Lore making and world building. Honestly, reading LOTR and Sylmarilion Lore was like discovering for the first time Greek Myths for me.
Next time: Death Eaters strike; Message of a dying man; War comes to Albion's Hearth.