When I came to, it was so hot. I felt like I was drenched in sweat, and whenever I opened my eyes, or at least tried to, I felt dizzy.
There was something cool on my head and on the back of my neck.
"Stay down. You have a fever."
I heard Astoria's voice speak to me softly, coaxing me to stay in the bed. At first, I didn't want to listen. I wanted to sit up and show that I was okay, but when a wave of heat pulsed over me, I collapsed back against the pillows. What the hell was wrong with me!? What did she say about me?
"I… wha…?" I tried to speak, but I couldn't find the strength to do so. Astoria reached over and removed the rag from my head, dipping it into a bucket, ringing it out, then placing it back over my head.
"You're sick. You have a fever. You fell back asleep yesterday and were up and down throughout the whole day. Last night you were writhing around in your sleep, crying and whimpering. Then when I came in to check on you this morning, you had a fever. Stay under the blanket, you need to sweat this out," she explained, pulling the blanket up to my chin to emphasis her point.
I groaned in pain, hating this immense heat. Why did I get sick? I had never been sick before! Why now!?
"That… that makes no sense… I… how did I get sick?" I asked, turning to face her.
She looked up with thought, pursing her lips quizzingly.
"I think… it's cause you're going through a… meta… meto… series of events that turns a caterpillar into a butterfly!"
...What?
"Meta-something that turns a caterpillar…? OH! Metamorphosis?" I asked, raising a brow.
She snapped her fingers, smiling brightly at me, "YES! A metamorphosis!"
I stared at her blankly.
"So… I got a fever because I'm… turning into a butterfly?" I asked, my head doing a series of spins.
She let out a chuckle of amusement, shaking her head.
"No, no! What it means is that you're going through a drastic change within, or outside yourself. You're sudden realization means your actions of the past contradict the feelings in your heart. It's such a huge change that your mind and body don't know how to react to it. I learned it through my volunteer work at the hospital!"
I turned my head back to face the ceiling, understanding her explanation. But it still bugged me… I had never been sick. This is what that was like? It fucking sucks…
"I'm going to go get some food. Anything in particular tickling your fantasies right now?" She asked suddenly, standing up and dusting off her pants. I shook my head, not feeling too hungry at the moment.
She nodded and walked out, closing the door behind her.
I took the moment of silence to observe my surroundings for the first time. I had to guess I was in her room. The bed was tucked into the corner closest to a giant window, allowing me to view the whole room.
It was as big as my house, at least I was pretty confident that it was. A desk was pressed to the other side of the wall, a desktop sitting on its surface with what I thought was both school work and videos. A couch was placed towards the center of the room with a TV across from it and a coffee table covered in junk. There were dirty clothes scattered everywhere, hanging off of furniture and on the floor. It made the inner neat freak in me twitch in anger.
Her room was very… cheery, to put it simply. It had a bunch of girly posters hung on the wall, plushies placed everywhere, and a very summery color scheme.
I sighed, turning my head to look out the window. The sun was coming over the window, letting me know that it was still early morning. I could see the tops of some trees at the bottom of the window, swaying gently in the breeze.
A metamorphosis…
It got me thinking about what I was going to do. I had now been on this mission for two days, three if you counted the day I got here, too long. They were going to notice my prolonged absence, and with my status in the clan and duty to produce the next heir, they weren't going to give up on me so easily. If I was here for any more days, maybe a week, they'd send a huge group of Stars to kill everyone around me and bring me home.
That thought made me sick to my stomach. And not because I would be dragged back to a place full of lying, disgusting people, but of the gruesome image of Astoria lying dead on the ground.
What she would've looked like if I had gone through with my mission.
That sweet, caring, loving, white angel who caressed me, held me, let me cry into her shoulder and dirty her bed with my sickness.
That angel, lying with her gut ripped out, intestines trailing and blood seeping her clothes and the carpet.
I felt my throat burn and sting, and my stomach churn. I suddenly felt my body shake violently and my throat tighten as I began to heave.
I turned over on my side, and to my immense relief, there was a trash can sitting right there.
I emptied out what little I had in my stomach into the can, my throat burning. The smell was foul and made my nose burn, tears springing in the corners of my eyes.
There was nothing but bile, but the image kept coming back, and it only prompted me to spill more.
I heard the door swing open and hit the wall, probably Astoria or Marina flying in.
"MA! VELVET'S GETTING SICK!"
It was Astoria. I heard her tiny footsteps rush over, and suddenly her hands had threaded through my hair to hold it back.
With one hand in my hair, and the other rubbing my back, she let out words of comfort in what I could guess was to help me feel better.
"It's alright, better out than in."
Her soft voice began to turn that horrid image into nothing but static. Instead, her pale, beautiful face was smiling down at me, saying my name softly, and with love.
It made me cease my vomiting, but I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment.
I heard another set of footsteps come close, and a wet rag entered my vision.
"Wipe her mouth off with this."
I watched Astoria take the rag and bring it to my face, wiping the excess vomit from my chin. I heaved up a few times, nothing coming up anymore. After it was clear my stomach was empty, Astoria leaned me back against the pillows.
"Are you okay Velvet?" She asked, wiping off the blanket and sitting down on the bedside.
I coughed a few times, pounding on my chest to try and clear out my throat. I nodded slowly, sighing heavily when I felt like I could breathe again. I saw Astoria hold out a glass of water to me, and I took it gratefully.
Marina was behind her fishing around through what appeared to be a small bag, pulling out a small thermometer. She walked over and sat down near Astoria, leaning on one of her hands.
"Do you mind if I take your temperature?" She asked, holding up the thermometer.
I shook my head, allowing her to place the tool under my tongue. After a few moments, she took it away when it beeped and let out a whistle.
"39 degrees! Goodness, you're burned up. No wonder you got sick. Here, I'm going to go get you some bread and crackers and… just bring the whole pitcher up cause you're going to need it."
Astoria chuckled at her mother's semi joke as she stood and walked out, leaving me alone with her daughter.
Astoria looked down at me after she quit laughing, her brows furrowing in concern.
"Hey, other than… the fever and vomit, are you okay?" She asked, moving off the bed to sit down in her chair.
I sighed, looking up towards the ceiling. I began to contemplate on whether or not I should be honest with her. On one hand, I could keep my mouth shut, they'd nurse me to health and I could just bail.
Or… I could spill the brand new emotional baggage I just developed.
"...No. No, I'm not."
Well my brain stopped working, because without skipping a beat, I began to vent.
"What the hell am I going to do? My clan, the people who raised me, they all lied to me! I've been… I've been killing innocent people my entire life. Men, women, children. No one was safe from my blade! Not even you! Only because I fucked up for the first time in my life, you're still alive. You brought me to realize what I was doing, but now what? I can't run from my clan, they'd come to kill me, and you! But if I go back, I'll be forced to continue my killing spree. I just… I'm lost…"
I sunk into the pillows, feeling the sweat dribbling more as I got more and more frustrated with myself.
Astoria stared at me silently, her eyebrows furrowed with thought.
"Hmm… I don't know. Let's… let's talk about some situations and see how you react," she suggested, propping her elbows onto the bed. I raised a brow in confusion, turning to glance at her.
"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked.
"Maybe if you and I compare situations and see how we both react, we can then determine the right thing for you to do. Whether it's just going back to being your old self or starting anew!" She clapped her hands together excitedly, flashing her pearly white teeth in a smile.
I sat there silently, wondering on whether or not I should go with it. But when I saw her smiling brightly at me, my heart sped up, and I gave in.
"Okay… let's, do that."
She smiled even more and sat up, clapping her hands onto her cheeks.
"Okay first scenario! Someone walking by who isn't looking where they're going and bumps into you. They then snap at you for hitting them. What do you do?"
I stared at her silently.
"...Really?"
Astoria laughed, grabbing my hand and shaking it a bit.
"Come on Velvet just answer! I know it sounds stupid but just go with it!" She pleaded, puffing her bottom lip out at me.
I sighed heavily, shaking my head a bit before deciding to answer.
"If someone does that to me I usually just break their legs. If they ran into me they better not yell at me," I answered, thinking about a situation similar to that in my village. It was why IvoryStar became known for her permanent limp.
Astoria stared at me silently, pondering over my answer.
"Are… are you being serious?" She asked, staring nervously. I nodded, confused at her cautious stare.
"Yes? What would you do if someone snapped at you for something that wasn't your fault and walked off?" I asked, crossing my arms.
Astoria rose a brow, looking around a bit before pursing her lips.
"You… You just… leave. There's no need to engage them, or anything. Don't give them the satisfaction to know they pissed you off… just… walk away. If they do it again, tell them off, but don't… break… their… legs…" She explained her answer slowly, nervous about how our answers differed.
I stared at her silently, my brows knitting in confusion.
"That seems useless. If you just walk off they'll do it again," I said, scoffing at the useless tatic.
Astoria pursed her lips at me, looking down at her lap silently. We sat like that for a few moments before she rose her head again.
"Think about it like this Velvet. What's the point?" She asked, leaning her elbows on the side of the bed.
I looked up at her with confusion, "The point? What do you mean by that?"
She hummed, folding her fingers together, "What's the point in starting a fight about something like being bumped into?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out.
"Okay, so someone bumps into and snaps at you. Is it annoying? Yes. Aggravating? Probably? But the thing is, is it worth starting a fight over it? Will you, or will the offender, get anything out of beating the hell out of each other?" She asked.
I sat there silently, pondering over her question. Would either of us gain anything?
Ivory gained a limp, and I gained another victim. I opened my mouth to answer.
"Nothing."
Astoria interrupted me once again, making me snap my jaw shut.
"You will gain nothing. You may feel proud for standing up for yourself, and your offender may have gained a black eye, but the event that occurred will never change. And who's to say it will change the future. Your offender may have wanted you to lash out. They wanted to see you mad. If you lash out, you're giving them what they want. They want to be on top of the world, but when you ignore their screams, you are denying them that satisfaction. Walk away, and if they pursue you, tell them off. Or my favorite tactic, pretend like you didn't even notice what happened, that really pisses them off. If they lash out physically, defend yourself. But if it's something trivial like being bumped into or someone calling you a name, let it go. They're not even worth your time."
I stared at her silently, seeing her smile at me brightly.
There was nothing for me to say back. There was nothing I could say to counter the argument with one of my own. And to put the cherry on top of the explanation, she added one last sentence.
"As my mom says, violence isn't always the answer. It may be the answer, ummm, two times outta ten, but not all the time!"
I silently contemplated what she said, thinking about the accuracy of her philosophy. Violence isn't always the answer. And letting your enemies see that they've hurt you, is what they want. Don't give them that satisfaction.
Has that been what I've been doing? Anyone who has actively seeked me out to hurt me, been satisfied with seeing me angry?
"Also-"
I looked when when she resumed talking.
"Check your resources. Just because someone may seem like a jerk, doesn't mean they are truly evil. Sure they may be a punk, but they don't deserve death."
Astoria stared at me silently, watching me as I looked down at my hand.
I leaned back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling with thought.
"How… how do I know then?" I asked, feeling defeated.
"Know what?" I heard her ask. I closed my eyes, sighing heavily.
"How do I know when to strike? How do I know when to fight back? Do just let people walk all over me?" I asked, turning my head to look at her.
Astoria let out a hearty laugh, shaking her head.
"No, no. Just because it's better to be nice to people, doesn't mean you have to take their bad behavior. Sure, when they bump into you and they yell at you, it's better to leave it alone. But if they actively seek you out, defend yourself. Don't let them see that they've gotten to you, but do what you must to get them to back off. As my mother also says, 'Do no harm, but take no shit'!" She answered, crossing her arms proudly.
Do no harm. But take no shit.
A philosophy I would later on live by.
But at the current moment, I was still stumped. The fever was making it hard to think, and I didn't know what I was going to do.
"How though? How will I know!?" I cried, running a hand through my hair in exasperation.
Astoria looked down, humming to herself for a minute or two in thought. Then she let out a small gasp.
"I can just show you!"
I rose a brow, "Show me?"
She nodded vigorously, "Yes! I can show you! When you're fever's gone down, I can take you out and about around Melody! You can meet all my friends, we can go shopping, you can see up close and personally, how the world goes about its day. MElody is one, if not THE safest, and most welcoming place in the world. How the people act here, is how most other places strive to be. By walking around the town, you can see and learn how the world really works. And then, when and if you return, you'll know when to strike. And even if the person really deserves it!" She clapped her hands together in success, suddenly leaping from her stool and racing across the room.
"MA! CAN WE GO TO THE SHOPPING DISTRICT TOMORROW!? OR WHEN VELVET GETS BETTER!?" She shouted to her mother as she dashed out of the room.
As she took off down the hallway, I was left to ponder over my thoughts once again. Do no harm, but take no harm from anyone else.
How does the world run? What do these people, whom I have so unrighteously killed, live in this world? Was my way living, not the norm?
I set my gaze out the window once more, the wheels in my head spinning. Would I stick out against these people? When I needed to, I could blend in. I got through the whole the city to get to this house, in order to carry my kill. But, if I wasn't trying to actively blend, would people… see me?
I closed my eyes, sighing heavily as if trying to relieve a pressure on my chest. If my clan way of life, was seen as the evil, then what kind of world, have I been unknowingly trying to destroy?
Hopefully, Marina would let me out and about.
And I could truly see this world, for the first time.
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Okay so there's no actual separating line but I'm in mobile at work so bear with me XD
Okiedokie, let's talk shall we?
Poor Velvet is doing a Zuko, but as well done cause I'm no super writer... but she's going to have a few rough days.
But luckily, Astoria thinks she can help, and promises to show Velvet how the world works. Unfortunately she's being shown the nicest place in the world, so everywhere else might be a tad more upsetting. But hopefully she'll be nice about it.
But as we know how she meets Elphie...
Yeah...
ANYWAY! That's all for now! A Star's Revelation is updated every Saturday at 9 am or 5 pm Tokyo time (9)!
NEXT TIME:
Astoria decides that the best way for Velvet to learn how the world is run is to show her. When her fever goes down, Velvet is introduced to a real, functioning society. How will she react, and will this solidify a new world view?
Find Out Next Time: June 15th!
~HUGS ALL AROUND~