Hey guys so I wanted to let you know I revised this chapter, I wasn't happy with the way I wrote it before and got angry that I just let it sit for a few days before I did anything about it. I'm sorry for that, and hopefully the new edit doesn't completely blow everyone out of character. Enjoy, and please comment, I love hearing what you guys think, good and bad.

It's been a long time since I've seen nature so peaceful like this. The tree branches swayed slightly with the light breeze that flowed gracefully through each leaf. The sky, bright blue and the air crisp and refreshing, it made me want to run around like a kid again. My usual view of the inner city and even lower depths of the cells made witnessing this sort of thing almost bittersweet. My hands gripped the broom handle tightly as I thought about the inner city. The bustling noise of the people chattering about their day, the merchants calling to passing groups trying to entice them to spend all of their money; it really was a different world. No one noticed the nature that was surrounding them; each of them content with their comfortable lifestyles behind the inner wall. This is what they were missing, the calm serene sight of nature sitting on display like a masterpiece painting for everyone to set their gaze on. Even I couldn't help but get lost in the sight, and feel, of the outer walls. It was so blissful…

"So are you going to stand there all day or are you going to actually clean?" My stomach clenched at his voice. How long had he been standing there?

"Sorry Captain, I've never been this far from the walls before, I got a bit side tracked." He stood, arms folded over his chest and leaning against my door frame.

"Isn't that just sweet." Sarcasm rolled from his tongue, and I held the urge to throw the broom at him. "Hurry up and finish, there's still a lot more that needs done and the others could use your help." I nodded at him, though just seeing him brought my anxiety up like a bowl full of water that was just on the brink of spilling. The past few days had been hell with him practically breathing down my neck with my training, especially with the lack of sleep and massive amounts of laps that I had to run due to my mouth getting the better of me. Who knew being the nice girl would be so hard? Maybe I should just toss that mask in the garbage since I keep getting into trouble anyways.

I breathed a sigh of relief once he left and I could no longer hear his footsteps near my room. He may be a wondrous sight to see when he is ripping someone apart, but dealing with his controlling personality up close was a nightmare. No wonder he's alone; what girl would want that kind of guy? The thought of his overly dominant personality in a relationship trickled through my mind and I couldn't help but giggle. He must be compensating for something; more than likely it was his height, though I really can't talk about height seeing as I'm shorter than him. I shook the thought of any poor girl dealing with him out of my brain and continued cleaning my room, making sure to take my sweet time so I didn't have to deal with anyone else for a while.

Eventually I finished cleaning my room, heading out now to head to the mess hall. I probably should've eaten breakfast this morning, but the feeling of my bed was just too nice. As I headed down the stairs, the Commander was walking up them, his eyes glancing my way. Ugh, another one I really didn't want to see.

"Alessa, I'm glad I caught you, come to my office for a minute." I mentally growled. What could you possibly want with me? Seriously? I plastered a fake smiled and nodded, following him to his office. Once inside he shut the door and made his way to his desk. "Here, you have a letter from Commander Dawk and one from a man named Jason."

"Oh! That's my brother!" I grabbed the envelopes from him and as I was about to open them, I noticed they were already opened. My eyes narrowed and I looked up at the Commander. "Did you seriously read my mail?" He just stared back at me expressionless. Seriously, you guys don't trust me that much that you go through my belongings? Oh please god I hope they didn't write anything that could incriminate me. I opened the letter from Commander Dawk, and luckily he worded it in a way that it just seemed as if he were asking me to let him know how I like it in the Survey Corps and told me that I always had a place with the MP's. Phew, good going Commander. Next was Jason's letter. My heart immediately sank at the first few lines. Asshole.

Ali,

It really sucks you left; the squad is so not the same without you. Those shitty Corps douchebags better be treating you okay, otherwise I'm going to kill them all. Have you gathered any news about that stupid titan kid? Everyone's been dying to know what you've found out so far. Aside from that, I have some news about Mom and Dad. They're so pissed you left without a word, they want to meet with you ASAP to discuss…your job. I tried to tell them I would take over for you, but you know how the family is, when you get assigned a job, it's yours. If you can, write to them and let them know what's going on so they stop freaking out and so they stop saying they're going to disown you. You and I both know that'll be really, really bad for you if they do. Hope you're doing ok, write as soon as you can.

Jason

I looked up at the Commander after reading Jason's letter. Jason you dumbass, why would you practically spell it all out in bold letters everything that I do? Ugh…The commander just sat there in his oversized chair, his hands clasped in front of him on his desk, but the air around him was obvious. There was no leaving until he got me to talk. How the hell was I going to fix this? I just got here for Christ's sake. I guess I stayed quiet for too long, because the commander cleared his throat and pointed to one of the leather chairs across from him.

"You've got some explaining to do." I sighed and nodded, sitting down. I gnawed on my lip still trying to find the right words. "Why don't you tell me the truth first about why you're here."

"Well…" I finally looked him dead in the eyes, "After the whole courtroom thing, my Commander wanted me to transfer here to watch and gather information on Eren. He wants any reason to take down the Corps and wants Eren dead." The Commander nodded.

"So why you?" Ah shit.

"I'm just one of his Captains that he trusts…" The Commander shook his head.

"The truth." Jesus am I that transparent or something?

"Fine." I glared at him now. "It's because of my Job." He arched an eyebrow and I knew he wasn't going to just accept that either. "I'm a trained 'information gatherer' so to speak."

"So you torture people for information." I nodded. He indicated for me to continue.

"My main job, given to me by my family, is to gather information, and take care of…difficult…instances."

"You're basically a hired Mercenary." I shrugged and nodded. Basically, yeah I was.

"So what now commander, are you going to tell everyone and have me jailed?" He sat silent for a few moments, looking me over a couple of times.

"No." My eyes widened. "I'm not going to tell anyone, but I have a few conditions." I narrowed my eyes, what the hell was he planning? "If you agree to these conditions, I will not say a word, and I will not have you jailed, though if you don't agree, a much worse punishment will head your way. You will be the one to tell everyone, but not yet. I want you to tell everyone the truth after the expedition I have planned in a few weeks. Once we're back here, you will tell everyone the truth and don't leave out a single detail. I also want you to keep in regular contact with your commander and brother. I will keep the letters from them to you, and you will write them back here in my office. As for your parents, I do not want you contacting them at all."

"Commander that is a huge mistake." I interrupted. He had no idea the type of people my parents were.

"I don't care if they disown you." I opened my mouth to speak, but he brought his hand up forcing me to swallow my words. "Your family has no business in this. And you will let your brother and Commander know that as well. Also, leave Eren alone. If you so much as pinch him without my say so or Captain Levi's say so, you will be done for. Agree to these terms and you can go about your business." I bit my lip roughly; this really is not going to be good either way. I can do all of the rest of it, but I am far more scared of my family, than I am of any titans. They were known for raising all types of Mercenaries and thugs. The family was literally just a gang that ran things in the inner city. But, if the Commander didn't want to listen, then hopefully nothing would come of it.

"Would Captain Levi know of any of this?" That was number 2 of whom I was most worried about. I didn't really feel like dying just yet.

"No. This is between you and me for now. You will be the one to tell him all of this later."

"Then I agree to your terms, but I warn you Commander," He gave me that 'you really think you can say shit' look, but I continued anyway, "My family, is nothing to scoff at. They don't take abandonment lightly." He nodded once but shrugged. Commander, I hope whatever you are planning works out, because you are playing with a fire that will burn you and yours to the ground.

"You can leave now." I bowed slightly before turning and heading out of his office. Shit, this was going to be really, really bad. I must've been lost in thought because I don't remember getting to the mess hall or even getting myself food, but there I was staring down at my barely eaten, now cold, plate.

"Hey Alessa, are you ok?" I looked up at Petra, finally coming back to reality.

"Huh? Oh yea I'm fine, sorry, just off in my own world." Thankfully the smile I shot her convinced her that I was telling the truth. I glanced around the table at all the chattering from my team, my eyes landing on an oh too familiar set of icy gray ones. He had this way of staring at people that said 'something isn't right' and it was just down right weird. Between him and the commander, I really must be easy to see through. I really have to work on that. I glanced back at my plate, but I could still feel his eyes boring into me. Please just let this day be over already. I was so focused on staring at my food that I hadn't realized Hange barged through the mess hall being her crazy self.

"Sorry for the wait, I'm actually in charge of examining two titans we caught in town! I'd like you to help with my experiments tomorrow, so I came to get your permission." She stood next to Eren, a smile wide on her face. I looked over at Petra who just smiled and shook her head. Eren asked her what kind of experiments she was talking about and Oluo told him not to ask. Uh oh, that must not be good. I watched as Hange's face sparkled with joy at Eren's interest in her experiments. A hand grabbed my arm and started to pull me out of my seat. I looked at Petra confused and she just mouthed a 'come on.' Reluctantly I followed, even though I really wanted to know too.

"Why'd you drag me out of there?" I asked the moment we got out of the mess hall.

"Trust me; you would've been in there all night, literally." Oluo stated, walking beside us. "That woman talks forever."

"I take it you guys have gotten stuck in there with her before?" They nodded, their faces somber as if reliving a horrifying memory. I couldn't help but giggle as we made our way outside.

"Since he's going to be busy tomorrow, you will clean the garden." I stared at Captain Levi now.

"I make no promises when it comes to gardening. I'm horrible at keeping plants alive." It was Petra's turn to giggle now.

"Then you will learn." Damn you! At least is a relatively simple task. We made our way up to the rooms, luckily now I had my own. I sat down on the bed and stared around. It really made me feel lonely; staring around at the cold stone walls knowing there wasn't anyone here that I knew. The more I thought about it though the more I realized, I'm always alone, even inside the walls. I had Jason, true, but he was such a man whore that I never really hung out with him on any down time just because he was always working his way into whatever girls dress he could. My family? Nope, they were more preoccupied with themselves and money than any of their children. Friends? I don't make friends. Most of my down time, which wasn't much, I spent reading or training. Plus, I know I'm not the easiest to get along with. Inside walls where everyone lied, someone who was always honest was always frowned upon. Does my make- up look good? No you look like a clown tried to make out with you.

I stared down at my hands and smirked at the time I told a girl that. Her parents threw a fit to mine and poor Jason had to date her for a couple of weeks just so they'd leave me alone. Those were funny times. There were very few of them, but they sure made me laugh. Petra was probably the closest thing to a friend I had here. I did genuinely like her, she was nice and pretty honest, very refreshing. The thought of telling her the truth about me made my stomach turn. These people, who were treating me like a friend, how would they feel knowing they had someone amongst them that had killed people before? Petra was sure to be hurt. Eren would probably never come near me; then the others? They would probably treat me like an outcast. The Captain would for sure try to kill me. Telling them was going to suck.

The thought of my family next really made my anxiety spill over. My parents weren't just parents. They're basically gang leaders. They give their children and anyone in the family a set job and if you don't do your job right, they put you back into conditioning until you do your job correctly. Conditioning was not just training. It was literal torture and brainwashing. A shiver ran up my spine as I remembered the first time I had to do Conditioning. Every day your torture gets worse and worse until they are satisfied with the results. If you were smart, you quickly learned to put on that mask and do everything they asked for no questions asked. Jason was the one who helped me through my Conditioning. One day I'd get 30 lashes on my back. Another day they'd try to 'drown' me, only pulling me up when I started to run out of air. Things like this lasted hours and hours for many days. At 7 years old, I learned quickly to do what I was told when I was told. Now knowing that I am for sure going to get disowned, left a bad taste in my mouth. They were going to send hired goons to snuff me out, or worse drag me back for Conditioning. I need to keep my eyes and ears open, anyone could be involved.

Nerves rattled my stomach, and I definitely needed to find some peace of mind. Leaving my room I headed for the kitchens. There must be some sort of Liquor here. I rummaged through the cabinets, though there was no such luck. Maybe elsewhere? I spent a good hour and a half searching this castle for some sort of alcoholic substance, though my efforts proved meaningless. I growled loudly, standing in one of the dark sitting rooms, tapping my foot impatiently.

"You should be asleep." Ugh go away! I turned and glanced at Captain Levi who looked bored watching me.

"Can't sleep." I plopped down on one of the couches, leaning my elbows on my knees. The Captain walked across from me, sitting on the couch adjacent. I glanced at him as he watched me. It was odd seeing him in clothes other than his uniform. He looks almost like a normal human.

"Why not?" I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I don't want to discuss this with you of all people. "Well why don't you tell me what you are searching for. You've messed the place up pretty good, so whatever you are looking for must be pretty important." I glared at him now. Can't you just go away and leave me in peace?

"Alcohol." I stated simply. His eyebrow shot up and he stayed quiet for a moment.

"Stay here." He stood up quickly and left. Don't tell me he's going to go tell the Commander on me? I couldn't help but chuckle, he certainly wasn't the tattle tale type. Quite a few minutes went by and back came the Captain, two glasses in one hand and a beautiful bottle of bourbon. I looked up at him surprised as he held out one of the glasses. "Are you going to take it or am I drinking by myself?" I laughed taking the glass, letting him fill it for me. The scent of what could be oak hit my nostrils first. Oh yes please, I took a sip, enjoying the smooth taste cascade down my throat.

"This is a pleasant surprise Captain." He was now cross legged with one arm on the back of the couch sipping from his cup.

"I'm a nice person." I let out a loud laugh. "Something funny?"

"Yeah, you." He rolled his eyes and we both continued to sip our drinks. "You were the last person I thought I'd be sitting and having a drink with."

"Don't get cozy, I've been wanting to open that bottle for a while. Drinking it alone seemed rather pathetic." I nodded, grabbing the bottle and pouring more for myself.

"To each his own, though this is too good not to share." He stayed quiet, both of us turning sips to bigger gulps, both of us now a few glasses in.

"So what's with you today? I've never seen you lost in thought so much today." Really? You need to ruin a good moment?

"Just stress, nothing I can't handle." His eyes bore into me, making it hard to ignore him. "I just hate being stressed is all."

"So get over it, life is stressful." There's the captain I know. "If it is something that bothers you to that extent, then get rid of whatever's stressing you out."

"So does that mean I should smother you in your sleep?" I joked and surprisingly he cracked a smirk. I poured another glass for us both, the quiet consuming us again. A few more glasses and I was certainly feeling a bit fuzzy. I lost count of the amount of glasses we knocked back, but we killed over half a bottle so far. "You know Captain, you're not so bad." Apparently I had enough to talk overly honestly. This is the point where a filter was no longer around. Oops.

"I know I'm pretty great." I laughed and shook my head.

"You're incredibly relaxed for an ass."

"Booze helps." He tipped his glass towards me and I filled it once more.

"Yeah, I can almost not feel so weighted down now." Alessa think about what you're saying. This is your rational conscious speaking, please take heed of where this conversation could go.

"You're incredibly stressed for someone who has no reason to be."

"I have plenty of reasons!" I argued. He stared at me intrigued. "I have my family, who is really nuts, I have my dumbass brother who can't keep his mouth shut…" Damnit Alessa you loud mouth, "And our Commander who likes to blackmail people." There was a certain flash in his eyes, for now, Captain Levi may have just sobered up instantly. Though, I for one didn't notice and still kept running my mouth. "What a douchebag, telling me I have to tell the truth eventually and telling me not to write to my family! Does he know what they're really like? The Evans family, who tortures people and hires and trains mercenaries?! It'd be stupid not to write to them and tell them all is ok." The Captain sat forward, listening to every single word that poured from my mouth. My conscious wanting to strangle me for talking, but I couldn't stop it. "I'm not supposed to be telling you this so shhhhh." I pressed my finger to my lips, grabbing the bottle and sloppily pouring yet another glass. The Captain watched, not making a single move to stop me.

"What aren't you supposed to tell me?" His voice was low but calm, making it even easier to talk.

"That I was sent to spy and kill Eren. The commander found out but he said it's okay he wouldn't tell anyone." The room began to spin a little, forcing me to brace myself a little. The Captain just kept staring, and had I been sober, I would've seen the anger in his eyes. "But I like Eren. Really. I don't think I would've killed him. He's too sweet." I began to giggle. "The commander said I need to write back to my commander and my brother and give them false information otherwise he'll do worse than jail me!" More giggles erupted. "He doesn't understand though, my family is going to send people to kill me if I don't write to them, but the Commander said no. He doesn't understand, the people they will send are ruthless. I don't want to go to Conditioning." I started to whine, getting emotional. My conscious sat back rolling her eyes at my pathetic self.

"What is conditioning?" It was rather hard for Captain Levi to mask his irritation, but in my state I didn't even care.

"It's when the family tortures you for days, sometimes even weeks or months, until you act right again. I left without telling them and they're really, really mad. They are going to want me dead or back for conditioning. I'd rather just die." I chugged what was left in my glass, reaching for the bottle again, but this time the Captain stopped me.

"Have you been to Conditioning before?" I nodded lifting my shirt, making the Captain get a little nervous. Along my abdomen was a long burn scar, surrounded by a few smaller ones.

"I got this when I was 7, my dad used a hot fireplace iron and burned me. It hurt which is why there's a bunch of other little scars too. I couldn't sit still so he had people hold me down for this one." I pointed at the long scar. The Captain looked almost sick as he stared at the scar. His hand reached out, his fingers grazing the scar lightly. I giggled, the feeling giving me chills. "You can't tell anybody okay?" I whispered, putting my finger to my mouth. He stared at me for quite some time, not saying a word. "Please, I don't want you or my family to kill me." After a while longer he sighed.

"Fine." He stood up, reaching his hand out to me. I pulled on his arm, toppling into him a bit from lack of balance.

"Psst Captain…!" I whispered loudly as he tried to help me gain some sort of balance.

"What?" I giggled and shushed him.

"I'm really drunk." He rolled his eyes putting my shirt back down and wrapping his arm around my waist to help stabilize me.

"I can see that." More giggles. If I was sober, I'd kill myself for this.

"Drunk people are fun. Are you drunk?" The Captain shook his head.

"A little." I dug my heels into the floor hard.

"Nooo you have to be drunker!" I whispered loudly. "I don't want to be alone!" The Captain growled heaving me over his shoulder so I wouldn't be able to stop him again. I pouted as he carried me up the stairs and to my room. He roughly threw me onto the bed before placing his hands on his hips and breathing a little heavy. "Are you saying I'm fat?" I glared at him crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yes." He rolled his eyes as I scoffed, throwing my pillow at him.

"Ass. Ugh, the room is spinning."

"Are you going to puke?" I shook my head no before sitting myself up and fanning myself with the oncoming hot flash I was getting.

"Too many…" I trailed off, trying to get my shirt off.

"Jesus, have some situational awareness." He growled, trying to hold my shirt down.

"No, it's hot. Move." I pushed him to the side, getting my shirt off. "Help with the boots!" I flung my feet towards him. He clenched his teeth before helping me out of my boots and helping me out of the harness straps for my gear. There was no way I could do that on my own.

"Where are your pajamas?" He asked, opening one of my drawers.

"No pajamas." I flopped back on the bed, my legs dangling off. I was only in my pants and a bra and the Captain was far too uncomfortable with this situation.

"What do you mean no pajamas?"

"I don't wear pajamas." He turned and looked at me confused. "I like to be free." I giggled making the Captain turn a little red.

"I'm leaving." He stated turning towards the door.

"No!" I lunged forward, grabbing his shirt.

"Stop!" He grabbed my wrists pushing me back to the bed. He glared down at me as I pouted. His face softened a little after a bit. "Don't do this right now."

"Why not?" I stuck out my bottom lip. My drunk self not understanding the situation.

"You're drunk."

"I know!" I smiled. He shook his head, cursing under his breath. His grip tightened on my wrists as he hovered over top of me. If I was sober, this would never have happened, none of it. But here I was, a total drunk mess doing something I would never do. I slid my leg against his, propping it up against his hip. His breath staggered slightly, his eyes watching intently as I bit my lip.

"Alessa, I'm your Captain. I can't do this with my subordinate." He spoke slowly and softly, hoping I would get the picture. I couldn't help the feelings that started to overcome me. I wanted him here and now, which was entirely ridiculous since I've only known him such a short time and he was right, I was his subordinate. That didn't matter to my drunk self, though. This side of me was devilish, trying hard to get him.

"But…please…" I begged quietly. His grey eyes darkened over for a few moments, as if the carnal urges of a man were about to pour through him. But, they didn't. He slowly let go of my wrists, standing up and shaking his head.

"Go to sleep." With that he walked out the door, leaving me in the dark, spinning room unable to comprehend what exactly just happened. My drunken mind didn't let me sit on that thought for long, as my eyes grew incredibly heavy and eventually closed. The rest of that evening slipped into the black abyss of what was probably the deepest sleep I'd ever drifted to.