MATURE CONTENT AHEAD. enjoy.
The march through the streets was tough to deal with. The whispers and comments of the townsfolk dug deep at each one of our cores.
"Excuse me, Captain Levi, I'm Petra's father, might I bend your ear for a moment before she sees us?" A sweet older man jumped into Levi's personal bubble, chatting him up about Petra's thoughts of marriage and her admiration of Levi. The look on his face was worse than before as he visibly tried his damnedest to keep looking forward; giving no response to the man. He was going to be a mess once he found out his daughter didn't make it back.
Townsfolk yelled out at the Corps as we passed, many of their words harsh and criticizing. You stupid fools, none of you could ever make the trek outside these walls and deal what these men and women deal with constantly, how dare you think like you have room to say anything to them. I grit my teeth, not saying anything for the sake of the people around, for if I did there'd probably be a fight. We made our way to the headquarters, finally gaining a few moments of silence.
I sat in my room, skipping dinner to stare at Petra's bed and belongings before they were removed to be sent to her family. Just the other day this girl sat before me giving me shit, and now she's gone. It was a darker and quieter place now that she was gone. I leaned my elbows onto my knees, running my hands through my hair. A soft knock came to the door, a few cadets entering quietly after I muttered a low 'come in.' They began to take her belongings out and in a matter of minutes there was no trace of her. A large blank space where her bed used to be, no second nightstand…the room suddenly felt bigger…lonelier.
A burst of rage hit me and I flew up knocking my nightstand over, panting as I began to grab anything within reach and trashing my room. Tears poured from my eyes as I grit my teeth, sliding down the little bit of wall space left that wasn't cluttered by my outrage. I held my hand over my eyes as I let myself cry as hard as I could. It wasn't fair. I didn't want to lose a friend this soon. I just started changing and enjoying the people around me, why did it have to be her? I cried so hard, I hadn't noticed the footsteps approaching me. Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me up from the floor and startling me. I recognized the faint scent to be Levi as I stood allowing him to comfort me the only way he could. It took a few minutes for me to calm down, but he still held me tightly when I did. We stood there quietly, both of us feeling the pain of losing someone we cherished.
He finally released me, his eyes looking even more tired than usual as he stared down at me. I could feel the tightness from my tear stained face as it ached from my intense emotional outburst.
"Sorry…I'll clean up in a minute." I mumbled finally breaking the silence, staring any place but at him. This closeness between us was making me a little nervous.
"Take your time, I understand." His voice was gruff. He reached back for my face gently, pulling me to look directly at him. I blushed slightly realizing how close our faces were, feeling a nervous twinge in my stomach. Before I could react, his lips met mine, sending my mind rolling a million miles per second. My eyes widened as he pulled away slightly, realizing what he did. "Sorry…I just…" It was my turn to surprise him. I grabbed his shirt tightly, pulling him close as our lips met back together, neither of us asking for permission as our mouths parted letting our tongues wrestle aggressively. His hands, slid around my waist pushing me to the blank spot in the wall I was just previously at, pushing himself as close as he could. My hands made their way to his head, deepening the kiss, as his hands ventured up towards my shirt, practically ripping it from its buttons. I gasped as his lips left mine, one hand grabbing my hair roughly and pulling my head to the side as he bit down on my neck, his other caressing my chest through my bra.
I'm not entirely sure what came over me to allow him to do this, but it felt right; like I needed this right here and now. My hands pulled gently at his hair, as his caressing hand nimbly removed the clasp to my bra, pulling it and my shirt the rest of the way off and leaving me exposed. I shivered slightly as he removed his hand from my hair, making his way lower, biting and sucking on my exposed skin. My hands run through his hair as I fought back the moans that so desperately fought to be released. His hands quickly fought my belt, winning the fight as he hooked his fingers into the lining of my underwear and pants, pushing them off completely.
I couldn't hold back the loud gasp that erupted from my throat as his tongue found my tender spot south, pulling one of my legs over his shoulder. I couldn't help but succumb to the blissfulness of this man's mouth, my eyes slightly rolling back as I bit my lip, moaning lightly as he let his fingers enter into his play. I shot a glance down at him, his intense grey eyes catching mine and sending shivers through my body. It was almost enough to send me over the edge, but he stopped, standing up and pulling his shirt off.
I reached quickly for his pants unbuckling them quickly and desperately, my body practically crying for this attention. It didn't take long before he was naked and pressed against me, his mouth back against mine. His hands grabbed my ass, pushing me up on the wall, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. In one quick moment he plunged deep inside and I couldn't stifle the slight scream that came out of me. I didn't expect to feel completely stretched by him as I let the pleasure flow through my body as he thrusted. His lips came back to my neck, biting hard and forcing another scream from me as he tore into me with such intense carnal desire.
My hands gripped his shoulders tightly; my nails digging roughly into his skin. He pulled me from the wall, laying me down on the floor on top of a bunch of papers that had flown from the nightstand when I kicked it. My back arched as he found his way back inside, one hand on my throat squeezing slightly, his other hand gripping my hip and digging his fingers into my flesh. I grit my teeth, crying out as he slammed rough and deep; taking out every bit of aggression that he had in that moment. My body shivered again as electricity flowed through my veins with every thrust this man could give me.
"L…levi…" my voice was breathy as I was on the verge of losing myself to him. I didn't think he could get any deeper, but he certainly did, sending me into an explosion of ecstasy. His lips crashed into mine, silencing my loud cries as he thrusted to his release, the warmth filling me up immensely. We both panted heavily, sweat beading on our skin, glimmering with the moonlight that shone through the window. I didn't want this to end…but Levi stood up getting dressed rather quickly as I sat up, still weak from what just happened.
"Sorry, this was a mistake." His voice was low as he finished getting dressed.
"Wait, what?" I asked confused as he moved to leave the room. "Seriously? Levi..." He didn't stop as he opened the door, slamming it behind him as he left. I sat in the dark completely perplexed. What the fuck just happened? I finally brought myself to get dressed, questioning if that really just happened. What the hell did he mean it was a mistake? My heart grew heavy again but this time I pulled myself together. I quickly cleaned my room a bit before exiting to get some air.
First my friend gets killed and then that bastard used me to get sex and had the audacity to say it was a mistake. Damn…I scoffed storming outside into the semi brisk night. A loud commotion was coming from the gates making me sigh. There really is no place to just relax around here…I made my way over to see Jason screaming in the face of some of the guards out front.
"Jason? What the hell are you doing?" His eyes shot to me as he pushed past the other guards.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I stared at him puzzled before remembering the letter I sent to him explaining that I wasn't coming home.
"Jason relax, I can explain…" I started but, just like me, he's got major anger issues.
"NO I don't give a shit about your explanation. Do you really think I'm that stupid to believe you? And if you're serious, which you better hope to god you aren't, did you think I would stand by and let you be here by your damn self?" I sighed a small headache forming at my temples.
"Jason stop, I said I can explain so can you calm the fuck down already?" He didn't say a word but the rage in his eyes meant I needed to be careful what my next words were. "Look, I've been through a lot of shit here recently, and I can't really leave yet. Eren's still alive and…"
"You still haven't done your job? Alessa, seriously, come on…" I rolled my eyes.
"Jason it's not that simple."
"Explain to me, how is it not simple?!" Apparently our little tiff got quite a bit of attention and we hadn't noticed the commander and captain approaching.
"I've got a lot of shit on my plate; I can't just kill the kid and get away with it. On top of that, I promised I wouldn't." His eyes widened.
"You promised your new little friends you couldn't do what you were sent here to do? Why? Out of pity?"
"No…I've just come to respect them a great deal, I don't think it's necessary anymore." The commander and captain came into my peripherals and I sighed mentally. I seriously can't deal with this much emotion in one day.
"She's part of the Survey Corps now, you will back down soldier." Erwin's voice called out.
"The hell I will, she's my sister and an MP." Jason snarled towards a now smirking Erwin.
"Not anymore. She made her choice, I'm telling you to back down, now." Jason growled and looked at me for a long moment and sighed.
"They're not going to be happy when I tell them."
"I know…" My voice was low.
"You know what he does when he's angry." He was talking about our father.
"I know…" My hand reached to my most painful scar…
"You're my sister and I love you, but I can't protect you from this. You're on your own now." I stared up at my brother, my ultimate partner in crime, literally. I winced from his words. Was I making the right decision? Especially after earlier with the captain; this was all starting to be too much. Jason sighed loudly, turning on his heel to leave.
"What makes you think you are leaving?" Erwin spoke. Both Jason and I snapped our faces to the commander. I realized now it wasn't just them around us, it was a huge number of the Corps.
"Erwin what the hell are you doing?" I asked, but he didn't acknowledge me.
"Take him into custody and put him in the cells. He has vital information, don't let him out without my personal authorization." He commanded. Even Levi had a slight confused expression but masked it fairly quickly.
"What?! NO!" Jason yelled trying to fight off the soldiers grabbing onto him. It was to no avail, there was no way I could help him either.
"WHY ARE YOU LETTING THEM DO THIS?!" I turned to Levi, screaming inches from his face. He offered his infamous "Tch" and turned on his heel to follow Erwin. "GOD DAMNIT YOU SHORT LITTLE SHIT!" I screamed following him quickly. He stopped short and I nearly ran into him.
"Shut the fuck up for 10 seconds," He almost whispered. "I don't know what's going on but shut up and let me find out."
"Right, cause you're not in on this…" I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not. We're supposed to start trusting each other remember?" He growled.
"I started to, til you said I was a mistake." I glared daggers into his cold grey eyes.
"That's different, you're not the mistake, what we did was the mistake."
"That makes no sense. Why was it a mistake?" He sighed loudly, rubbing his eyes with one hand.
"I don't have time for this right now, just leave it alone. We'll talk later." I started to oppose but the look he shot me gave me a chill for some reason, so I stayed silent. "Stay here, I'll figure out what's going on." With that he walked off towards the cells.
I turned my attention to a set of picnic like tables a little in the distance and made my way over to them. What the hell do I do…? I sat up on the table part, staring up at the moon. Jason was right…this decision was probably going to get me killed, and not by a titan. By any normal standpoint, if anyone knew the things our father did, he'd be on the list of most psychotic in the city and probably in prison for the rest of his life. Our mother didn't care either, she was just happy to parade around in expensive jewelry. There was no love in our family…not normal love that families have. Love in our family came from commendations from our father when you did a job correctly. Killing the family of someone who skipped out on their debts…breaking the fingers and toes of hard working men and women who happened to see something they didn't mean to, just as a forewarning.
My stomach turned at the thought if it had been my father to show up instead of Jason. Now that both of his kids were in the custody of the Survey Corps and I was still battling whether or not I was going to stay. This place had made me so weak in so many ways…how in the hell do I rebound from that? I growled at myself for letting myself get in too deep. Why was I even mad that Levi said what we did was a mistake? I've used men to get what I've wanted before, why was it different this time around? We both needed the solace in the company of one another; I really needed to get these feelings in check.
I hadn't realized how long I had been sitting there, but footsteps approached and I realized Levi was standing beside me.
"What's going to happen to him?" Levi sighed quietly.
"He's going to be questioned about his involvement in the plot to kill Eren." I scoffed.
"He's not going to talk…you'd have to torture him, and even then…" I trailed off realizing what I was saying. I shot a concerned look at Levi who looked right back at me. His face didn't say it but I had a feeling. "You guys are going to torture him aren't you…?" He waited a moment before nodding. I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Of course you are, even though I'm here with all the same fucking information."
"Yea but do you want to end up in jail?" He snapped.
"I don't want my brother there either!" I snarled. Levi rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Think long and hard about the road you want to take. You can't fight beside us from a prison cell, and we can protect you from whoever you think is going to come after you."
"You guys have no idea the types of people who are going to come after me. Sitting here, with all of you, is probably going to get us all killed, not just me." I sighed putting my head in my hands. What the hell was I doing? "What does it even matter to you where I'm at in all of this? You barely know me, why even waste your time?" I laughed as all of this was probably some sort of ploy anyway.
"Believe it or not, I do like you." I laughed loudly, but his face remained serious.
"If that's the case, why was it a mistake?" He rolled his eyes again.
"We just lost our friend, someone I cared deeply for. I found solace in your arms, but like you said, I barely know you. I didn't want you getting attached and thinking this was going to be some sweet relationship right away or something." I stared at him, humor all over my face.
"Look, you're great in bed…or well on the ground… but I'm not the romantic fall in love type. Sex is sex; I get needing a release when you're stressed. You just fail at life for saying it was a mistake right after the fact. At least let a girl savor the moment, even if it is for a moment." He smirked slightly.
"That makes sense." We both sat in the dark for quite a while before he broke the silence. "Want to make another mistake?" I couldn't help but giggle and shake my head.
"Not likely, Captain Levi. At least not tonight." I hopped off the table, making my way back to the HQ, my mood only slightly lifted.
"Let me know if you change your mind then." I smiled, noticing the faint smirk on his face as he walked beside me. I plopped on my bed when we finally made it back, the rest of our walk completely silent, thankfully. It wasn't long before the darkness took me and I let myself fall into a deep sleep.