Chapter 43

Leaving So Soon?

It was Thursday morning, two weeks since I'd escaped from the cellar, and life was returning to normal. Joe was keeping his regular work schedule, which meant he was up before dawn, leaving me alone in bed. I usually slept for a while longer, barely making it out of the shower before Ranger or Hector arrived with breakfast. This morning, I found myself sitting on the couch, eating breakfast with Ranger when a knock sounded at the door. He raised one eyebrow, expectantly.

"It's Lula and Connie," I explained. "They're here to drag me to the mall."

His eyes took on a wary edge. "Is that a good idea?"

I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not, but I couldn't stay holed up in Joe's house for the rest of my life. I was starting to feel claustrophobic. "I'd like to get out of here for a while," I shrugged. "Try to be normal, you know?"

"I have a client meeting in an hour," he said as he checked his watch. "I wish you'd told me about this earlier. If you wait until this afternoon, I can take you." Ranger wasn't a man to beg, but from the look in his eyes right now, he was one step away from doing just that.

"That's sweet of you to offer, but unnecessary. I'll be fine."

"At least let Bone's drive you. He can be close by in case you need him."

That was Ranger speak for, I'm sending my company medic to babysit your crazy ass in case you have another panic attack. When I rolled my eyes, he knew I'd conceded.

"Thank you," he said, his relief visible.

He thought I was humoring him, but in truth, I was grateful to have a Merryman following me. I knew better than anyone that monsters hid inside ordinary people. You weren't even safe to stop for ice cream. But I wasn't going to let my fear rule me. I had to get out and actively live my life again. If I didn't, Durant would win.

He sent a quick text and went to the door to let Lula and Connie inside. The look of shock on their faces at having Ranger opening Joe's door had me chuckling to myself. "Ladies." He greeted them and walked over to kiss me on the forehead. "Wait for Bone's," he said, giving me a pointed look. "He'll be here in five."

After he left, I thought I would be bombarded with questions, but they were unusually quiet. Exactly five minutes later, Bone's knocked on the door and we were off. We'd arranged to meet Mary Lou at Dunkin' Donuts in the food court and of course decided to get a bite to eat before beginning our trek around the mall. I got a vanilla chai latte and a bacon egg and cheese croissant. We ate and while they chatted about various goings on in their lives I simply listened and ate my food.

Usually, food cheered me up, but as soon as I stepped off Joe's porch this morning, an uneasy feeling came over me and it was only getting worse the longer I was gone. I won't pretend that I've always felt safe while going about my business, but this was a different feeling. It was unfamiliar and I couldn't wait to get back to Joe's.

After an hour of shopping, I'd only purchased one pair of jeans and my feet were starting to drag. I finally had to admit I was just going through the motions. My heart wasn't in it. Running around the mall, shopping for bargains seemed trivial after what I'd been through. I was ready to call it a day.

As we passed by the Macy's store front, I came to an abrupt halt. Behind the glass were several mannequins outfitted in formal dresses. My heart started racing and I broke out in a sweat. Jenny, Ashley, Melissa, and the others had taken the place of the mannequins. As if they were alive, their hard, plastic bodies reached for me. I tried to run but my feet were planted to the ground.

I tried to remember what Dr. Mereck said about grounding myself to the here and now, but it was all happening too fast. I panicked and started chanting to myself. "This isn't real. This isn't real. This isn't real." But it was real. It was so real I could even smell them. Nausea engulfed me and I fell to my knees. I put my hand over my nose and mouth to mask the scent of decay. As soon as I moved, the chains on my wrist rattled. I looked down at my hands wondering where they'd come from.

My chest was hurting so bad I thought I was going to die. From far away, I could hear Mary Lou, Connie, Lula, and Bones frantically calling to me. "Help!" I tried hard to scream but it came out as a feeble wail. The faces behind the glass began to blur as dizziness set in. There was a whooshing sound in my ears, booming louder and louder, until I couldn't hear a thing, and everything turned black.

"Stephanie!" A strong masculine voice called to me. My head felt muddled and I wasn't sure where I was. "Babe."

"Ranger," I murmured and rolled my head to the side, trying to determine where his voice was coming from. I was lying down on something soft, but that's all I could tell about where I was.

Gentle fingers touched my face. They were loving and familiar. "It's me, Babe."

I turned into his comforting embrace, wanting to feel his warmth wrapped around me. If Ranger was here, then I was safe. I opened my eyes and saw his beautiful face. I attempted a smile, but it was weak. On the other side of me, someone was holding my wrist. "Wha—?" I moaned as I turned my head to see who had a hold of me. Bones was looking at his watch and pressing his thumb and two fingers against my wrist. "Her pulse is low," he said as he held my eyelids wide, shining a small light into each one, blinding me, "and her pupils are dilated."

I moaned and flinched away, noticing Mary Lou, Connie, Lula, and even Tank. "What happened?" I asked as I tried to figure out why everyone was standing over me. The last thing I remembered was seeing the harmless mannequins in the store window. Then they changed into the women from the cellar.

"Should we take her to the hospital?" Mary Lou asked.

"She's not in any immediate danger," Bones said, "but would you mind getting her a sprite or a Gatorade from the machine?" Mare quickly walked away, and Bones handed me a Snickers bar. "Here, eat this," he said and then asked me, "did you take your medication this morning?"

At first, I didn't know what he was talking about, but then I remembered the medication Dr. Mereck put me on last week. Did I take it this morning? "Yes," I told him. "I took it when I got up."

"When was that?"

"8:00 a.m."

Bones checked his watch again. "That was almost four hours ago. It's safe for her to take another dose of valium. Did you bring your medication with you?" he asked me.

"It's in my purse." As I turned to the side looking for my purse, I noticed a large trifold mirror behind Ranger, and then I looked down to see that I was lying on a gold velvet chaise. I was in the women's dressing room at Macy's.

"Here's her medication," Ranger said, holding out both bottles for Bones to take.

While I ate the candy bar, he read the labels, opening the one he wanted. "Take this," he said just as Mary Lou came back with a Sprite.

I felt drained but I wanted to get up and go home. I started to rise, but Ranger put his hand on my shoulder, keeping me from sitting up. "Do you remember what happened?" he asked.

If I told them what happened they'd think I was going crazy. Maybe Barry was right. What Durant did to me had messed me up so badly I was never going to be normal again.

Ranger turned to Mary Lou. "What was she doing right before she collapsed?"

Mary Lou hesitated, her eyes widening in fear at having to talk directly to Ranger. "We were getting ready to walk into Macy's. She stopped to stare at the window display, and then she just crumbled to the ground."

"I saw everything," Lula said, dramatically. "Stephanie was in a trance. She was having one of them flashbacks."

Thanks, Lula. Way to make me sound crazy.

"Soldiers with PTSD experience flashbacks," Tank said, "and they probably haven't been through half of what Stephanie has."

"She's going to be okay, isn't she?" Mare's voice shook with worry.

"I'm fine." I assured everyone as I placed my feet on the floor, trying to appear more stable than I was, especially since my legs felt like jelly. As I got to my feet, Ranger slipped a strong arm around my waist to keep me from falling. "I just want to go home."

For the first time, it felt right to call Joe's house my home, but I didn't miss the cloud of pain that crossed Ranger's face before it went blank.

Joe POV

I was just getting out of my SUV when Ranger pulled his Cayenne into my driveway, parking behind me. I left work as soon as Ranger called me to tell me she'd passed out at the mall. I knew it was a bad idea for her to leave the house, but once she gets an idea in her head there's no changing it.

I ran around to the passenger side of his car and gently helped her out. She was pale and moving slowly. I was afraid she was going to fall over if I didn't hold onto her. As soon as she was standing on her own, I ran my hands up and down her arms. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm fine," she tried to convince me, but I needed confirmation. I turned to Ranger for an explanation.

"She had a panic attack."

"Another one?" I asked her. "We should get you to the hospital." I started leading her in the direction of my SUV ready to get her checked out by a doctor.

"I don't need to go to the hospital, Joe." She pulled away from me and headed to the house. "I just want to lie down."

I helped her inside and got her settled on the couch with a blanket. She looked exhausted. She closed her eyes and was asleep in seconds. I turned around to find Ranger standing in the doorway. From the look on my face, he must have known that I wanted him out of my house. He stepped out onto the porch and I followed, closing the door behind me to keep our voices from waking her. "Tell me what happened."

"Everything was going well until she saw the window display at Macy's."

"Why would a department store display upset her?"

"I believe it was the mannequins that caused the panic attack. I think it reminded her of the women in glass cases. She became agitated and then passed out."

"What did your medic say? Does he think she needs to go to the hospital?"

"No. He gave her another dose of valium when she woke up and now she seems to be back to normal."

"I want you to leave her alone." I crossed my arms over my chest daring him to say something. "She's living with me now and having you hanging around is confusing her. I'll take care of her from now on."

According to the look he was giving me, he didn't like what I had to say. Too bad. This was the end of the line for his involvement in our lives. I'd had all I was going to take from him.

"Stephanie and I are friends. I'll be around as long as she wants me to be," Ranger said, his voice as uncompromising as steel. He didn't immediately move off the porch. It would have seemed as if he was retreating and his type would never retreat. It was a macho move; one I was familiar with. Now that I'd made myself clear to him, it worried me that he'd dig his heels in and cause trouble between Stephanie and me. I hadn't felt threatened or jealous of another man in… ever. I was confident that she loved me, but there was a little voice whispering in my ear warning me that I could lose her to him if I wasn't careful. Finally, our stare off ended and Ranger got in his car and drove away. I couldn't go inside just yet. I needed to cool off. His cocky attitude had gotten under my skin. I wasn't ready to admit I was jealous, but he threatened mine and Stephanie's future and I was done letting him stick his nose where it didn't belong.

I needed to head inside before my nuts froze. I locked up behind me and took a moment to watch her as she stretched out on my couch. "Come here," she said, holding her arm out to me. I went to her and laid down beside her with her head resting on my chest. This was exactly how she said she wanted to remember us when she was in the cellar. My heart swelled. I stroked her back, hoping that she knew I was here for her… always. We both dozed off, and I woke when my phone buzzed. I knew who it was before I looked at the screen. Terry had been begging me to get away this weekend. I'd already told her no, but she was insisting. I slowly slid out from under Steph, trying not to fully wake her. She stirred and asked me in a sleepy voice, "Where are you going?"

"Works calling," I whispered. "I'm going to let Bob out and see what's going on." I kissed her on the forehead. "Go back to sleep."

After I shut the door behind me, I returned the call. "Joey, I've cleared my schedule for the weekend. I want to see you."

"I already told you I couldn't make it this weekend," I told her, my tone taking a hard edge.

"But it's been weeks," she whined. "I really need to see you." She was right. The last time I saw her was a week before Stephanie escaped from the cellar. I'd put off going to see her because I was planning to end things between us, and she wasn't going to take it well. She'd feel rejected and when Terry is hurt, she lashes out. The thought of her doing something to harm Stephanie worried me.

After finding Stephanie half dead and hearing about the hell she'd lived through, I felt more guilt than ever about seeing Terry. Stephanie was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but first I had to get this over with. "Okay. I'll make some time this weekend."

"I'll get something sexy," she purred, "and meet you at the house."

I hung up and went back inside, Steph was sitting up on the couch. I sat down beside her, holding her hand. "Do you feel any better?"

She nodded.

"How about a big slice of your mother's triple layer chocolate cake?" Other women required diamonds and expensive displays of affection, but in Stephanie's world a big piece of chocolate cake could fix almost anything. I helped her to the kitchen table and served up a large portion of cake for each of us. After stalling for several bites, I decided to just say it. "Cupcake, I know this is bad timing, but I have to go out of town."