Edward,
You missed quite a lot. Not that I'm upset about it…to be honest, for a minute there, I thought I was dead.
The entire time, all I could think was that I'd failed my team. When Lust attacked me, and I was bleeding out…I knew it was likely she would kill everyone else as well. Havoc was already on the ground, and I had no idea if he would make it. Do you know how hard it is to burn yourself? Do you know how hard it is to stay conscious as you cauterize a wound that ought to end your life?
It certainly takes a lot of motivation, and right then the team was mine. Lieutenant Hawkeye lost it a bit; she would have been murdered if I'd not intervened when I did. And Havoc…well, his life has been irrevocably changed. I can't deny that, nor will I try to; in fact, I will carry the guilt of his injury for the rest of my life. It was only due to his loyalty to me that Havoc has become paralyzed. Though he doubtless feels differently at the moment, I am just grateful he is still with us.
I'm not telling you this to gloat (I know this does sound rather boastful, but bear with me). I'm writing this to try to explain how much I will do for those who stand beside me.
You weren't there, Edward. But I hope you know I would fight just as hard to protect you.
Sincerely yours,
Roy Mustang