Graphic content ahead. Read with care, enjoy :)
Screams echoed through the cells for the next couple of nights. No one around to save the piece of shit I was making scream, not that a single one of them wanted to. Nonetheless, while everyone prepped for our upcoming missions, I took my free time to remind Greg who was the one in charge, especially after breaking my hand. Every night since he was locked away, my smile stayed plastered to my face as I tore him to bits. Tonight was especially fun because I had the whole night if I wanted to, to make him hurt. Initially it took a while to get him even to feel any pain. The conditioning my father puts into his employees helps a lot with pain tolerance, but the good news, everyone has a breaking point.
I smiled down at Greg as I kicked hard against his face, knocking another tooth out. I see now why Levi likes to kick people. Greg groaned on the bloody floor, dirt sticking to the scrapes on his face, his eyes completely bloodshot. I had to be careful or I might kill the bugger. His hands bound tight behind his back, feet also bound. He was my personal punching bag and I was not letting up. I grabbed him by his hair, kneeing him hard in the nose. The loud crack of the break nearly made me squeal.
"I'm trying to remember here, Greg. You see, you made quite a few threats, and yet…who's the one on the shit end of the stick?" I giggled as he struggled to breathe through all of the blood pouring from his face. Our prior encounters were not as bad, though Levi definitely roughed him up the first day, only letting me watch. On the second, I got to help, but Hange had a blast messing with Greg, mostly psychologically which I couldn't believe worked as well as it did. Tonight was my lucky relentless night. I really got to make Greg understand what monster he awoke.
"Please…" He gurgled, spitting the blood out of his mouth. "I get it…" I tsk'd him and shook my head.
"You, more than anyone know that's not how this is going to work…" I smiled pulling up a stool from the corner. He watched me with no more hope in his eyes, pleading almost to end it here. "You see, I wasn't conditioned the same as you. Mine was much, much worse. I was sculpted into the perfect little soldier for my father. I was…no rather, am his prize possession. You see, Greg, before you interfered here, I had a plan and while you didn't necessarily ruin it, you made it much, much easier for me. Especially by letting Jason go. Now I have ammunition. If you happen to live by the end of this, if I don't personally kill you, I can assure you that my father will." He groaned closing his eyes now. "Being as it is, I am not ready to kill you yet, and luckily you've given me so much of a leg up here that no one is even upset that I am torturing you. In fact, I'm sure they're enjoying the thought of it. You see, you don't get to break my hand and get away with it. You don't get to dictate to me, Alessa fucking Evans how things work. I dictate these things. You and shitheads like you, listen to me. Not the other way around like you seemed to believe." I smiled again, grabbing a blade from my pocket. "It's been such a long time since I've gotten to truly hurt someone for my own amusement. You aren't a job for me, just a hobby. What was it you called it….oh right, guess you're my play thing now."
His eyes were pleading for me to stop as I toyed with the cuts and torture with my blade until I finally became bored. I took a deep breath as the shithead cried on the floor. For the first time in months, I felt myself. No one understood the depth of my darkness here, and yet they allowed me to release it. I craved so much more. But not tonight, for if I continued, I would certainly kill the idiot. Standing up, I wiped the blade with a cloth before stepping out of the cell and locking it back up tight. I smiled and waved at the mess in front of me, his eyes full of relief at my exit.
"Good night, Greg, I hope you don't drown in your own blood." As I neared the exit, those famous grey eyes were staring down at me from the stairs.
"You weren't kidding about your love for this shit." I blushed, a little nervous he caught me in my old ways.
"It's an art I've perfected for many years. It comes far too easily." He nodded following me back out of the cells. It was dark, but the moon shone bright down on the grass outside. A light breeze gave me a small chill and I sighed loud. "What brought you around tonight?" I glanced over at the silent Levi who seemed to be taking in the same view as I.
"We received an invitation to the ball. It seems the letter you wrote worked." I nodded smiling. Things were slowly coming into place. I sent a letter the night Greg was put in his cell to my parents 'explaining' everything. I mentioned how Jason misunderstood and I had to keep up appearances, that the job I had was extremely delicate and I needed as much cooperation from the family as things were working to the benefit of every side involved. I explained how Levi and I wanted to announce our engagement at the ball and explained he was on board with the family and wanted to join in himself; that titans weren't the only things he wanted to get his hands on. Based on receiving invitations, that meant my parents were either elated for the 'misunderstanding' or this was a trap and we were royally fucked. Either way, my guard was never going down.
"I can't believe we're making people think these things. You know it's going to go extremely public right, even though we're faking the shit out of this." Levi nodded, crossing his arms over his chest once we made it over to the entrance of the headquarters.
"I'd be more surprised if it didn't." We sat on the steps of the HQ enjoying the night air for a while longer. "Watching you tonight, I have to know, you really are on our side right?" I turned and stared at Levi for a minute. I can see why he's being guarded, I said quite a lot of things that could be misrepresented in both my letter and to Greg. He really doesn't know what's going on in my head at all, which means I'm not completely broken to the Survey Corps. But that also means that his trust for me might be faltering. I gave him a delicate smile and put my hand on his.
"If I was playing you, I wouldn't be willing to risk everything to go with all these crazy plans. The last thing I want to do anymore is ruin everything here." He stared hard at me for a moment before nodding. It seems even he gets insecure sometimes. "Do you trust me?"
"I'm trying to." I mean at least he was honest, right? I chuckled. I don't blame him. I still have a hard time trusting him. Especially after what Greg said the night we captured him. My brain, no matter how distracted, keeps bringing out that little voice that I don't want to listen to. Questioning Levi's motives. He has done, and hell still does, some horrendous things, just as I do. Who's to say he isn't playing this game and I'm just giving into it? No matter what my guard was still up. Even if I wanted this place to be my home, these people to be my new friends and family, there was no guarantee that anything would turn out that way, and if it didn't would I be upset?
I stared at Levi, studying the features of his face, his tired yet cold eyes, his sharp jaw line. The most hard to read person I have ever met in my life. And yet, the twinge of nervousness hit me like it did so often recently. I was growing feelings for him in ways I did not want to face. I refused to admit it, but I knew that if something went south, I'd be crushed. I would never admit it to him especially. I refused to let him get too far past my walls. Regardless of the few hook-ups we've had, the short time I had been around him, his honest up-front personality, no matter how cold, was so refreshing that I'd find myself dwindling to anything he said. The past few nights I avoided him like the plague, knowing full well if I continued hooking-up too often I would have a more difficult time stopping these feelings.
He finally helped me up off the stairs as we made our way inside. Most everyone was asleep and I couldn't help but feel exhausted rather quickly. We made our way up the stairs and as I turned to head to my own room, Levi's hand on my arm stopped me abruptly. My stomach dropped with nerves as I turned to face him.
"Where are you going?"
"Uh…to sleep?" I laughed pointing at my room. He shook his head, pulling hard on my arm so I went in the direction of his room. I sighed loudly and smirked. "I mean it, I really want to sleep Levi."
"That's fine, but come with me." I tilted my head at him as we entered his room, staring at him curiously.
"I did not peg you for a cuddler, Captain." He rolled his eyes, pushing me to the bed.
"I'm not, but I'm already doing worse to you than actually just sleeping so you might as well." I giggled throwing myself onto his comfortable bed.
"I think you just want to cuddle me, what a softie." I joked, my face hugging the wonderous blanket. A loud clap echoed the room and I couldn't help but yelp from the hard smack on the ass Levi gave me.
"Keep it up Cadet and you're going to regret ever letting me get this far with you." I laughed rubbing my ass.
"What? I didn't regret it at the start? Are you sure?" His glare made me laugh more as I backed up into his pillows, bracing for anymore sexy abuse. Those steel grey eyes piercing me like daggers, the faint smirk shining through his lips. "Okay, okay, I'm just kidding!" He rolled his eyes, stripping his shirt off making me bite my lip. Everything with him came insanely natural and I couldn't say no to him. I am now convinced if he told me to strip naked and please him in front of everyone, I more than likely would. Not that the thought didn't immediately arouse me. I was too tired though to do anything as I stripped down to just my undershirt and underwear.
Sliding in bed next to him was interesting. This was a night nothing was happening between us and yet I felt like I belonged; immediately safe. It was unnerving to feel that way. In all my life I had never felt like it around anyone. His arms wrapped around me and his face grew curious as I was lost in thought.
"What's on your mind?" His voice was low, clearly he was as tired as I was. I tried to wave it off as nothing but he squeezed me tighter, not letting me sleep until I told him.
"Why do you bring out feelings in me that I don't understand?" He looked a little confused so I continued. "I feel so safe with you, it's freaking me out. I can't fight this constant feeling of wanting to be with you." He smirked, watching me intently as I spoke.
"I'm not used to it either if it makes you feel any better." I stared at him relatively surprised. "No girl has made me feel the way you do. I'm not sure how the fuck to deal with it most days."
"Really? You're catching feelings for me the way I am for you?" I was totally surprised. If he was playing a game, this was going to be a hard situation to deal with. He nodded, kissing my forehead.
"You're a strange little creature Alessa, I can't help but want to peel back those layers and understand you more." I smirked, tracing the lines of his toned chest. "I can't stop my feelings for you, but I swear if you aren't serious about this you better fuckin tell me so I don't waste my damn time." I let out a laugh looking up at him, though he was completely serious, staring down at me. I grabbed his face, pulling him into a deep kiss. His arms tightened around me, pulling me as close as possible as our tongues began to wrestle. I had to force myself to pull away otherwise tonight would end up another all-nighter and I couldn't handle that.
"I promise, all I want is to be with you." The words left my mouth before I could stop them. Sure, Alessa, let's just jump right off the bridge and hope there's a soft landing when I get there. I mentally kicked myself, but seeing a real smile from him sent my heart racing. His hand brushed the hair out of my face before tracing my lips with his thumb.
"Good, you're all mine then." My heart skipped a beat. I'm his? I belong to him? I could feel the nerves build up again but instead of running away, I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around him. Never in my life have I been this vulnerable with anyone. God damnit Levi, what sorcery do you have that lets me feel this way? His breathing steadied after a long while of silence, and I knew he was asleep. I did not dare move, mostly because this was the best feeling I'd ever had. Is this what being truly happy was? I closed my eyes, forcing myself to sleep.
I stared at myself in the mirror of the dress shop the next day. The ball was that night and I had to dress to the nines. There was no way in hell I could show up with even a little confidence in myself gone. My parents were perceptive and cunning. Thank god Levi and I were really together or faking it would make this a bust. The dress was floor length and matte black, strapless and hugged my curves. I nodded to the shop owner who charged me and what not. I lifted my hood over my face as soon as I was dressed back in my gear, stepping outside with my items quickly. Being in the city right now was already a gamble; if anyone at all from my family or their connections caught me, this could spell trouble. I needed to show up at the right time.
Luckily, I made it back to the HQ without so much as a glance my way from anyone that I could tell. The job tonight would be relatively simple. I mapped out my fathers office archives for Armin, Mikasa and Jean. Eren was already a target elsewhere, so we needed to keep him out of the situation all together. While Levi and I entertained my family and everyone else, their job was to get through the house unnoticed and get out without much of a body trail. My nerves spiked as I got the dress back on, my hair and smoky eye make-up done and ready. Levi walked behind me, adjusting the cufflinks on his shirt.
God damn this man looked incredible in a suit. His hands felt their way around my waist as we stood admiring ourselves in the mirror.
"I can't wait to get this off you later…" His voice was gruff as his hands felt their way around, making me giggle.
"Well you have to wait, I can't be jumping your bones every 10 minutes tonight." His eyes never left mine in the mirror, giving me a chill as he looked like a predator ready to ravage his prey. Jesus, this man. I playfully smacked his hands, grabbing the black shawl off the chair, sitting on the couch to slip on my shoes. "Don't forget, I have an image to uphold, so I have a lot of acting to do tonight." He nodded throwing on the suit jacket and then adjusting his cravat. His look was complete and it took everything in me not to give up and rip everything off of him. We met up with Mikasa, Armin and Jean reiterating our plan a couple more times before Levi and I got into our carriage to head to Stohess.
Nerves were constantly building in my stomach, and for the first time in a long time I had trouble catching my breath. Levi squeezed my hand but said nothing as the carriage trekked along the cobblestone. The carriage eventually came to a stop and it was time for us to play somewhat pretend. Levi stepped out first, giving me his hand to assist as I stepped down. All eyes were on us, and a familiar glare struck me in the face. Jason stood at the end of a long line of people, some waiting to get into the ball, some outside just watching who showed up. I plastered a coy smile while holding my head high as I linked arms with Levi and passed the people.
"So the prodigal sister returns." I stifled the eyeroll at Jason's comment.
"Oh, don't be jealous dear brother. It's not my fault you didn't listen to me to begin with." His glare went from me to Levi and Levi had no issue throwing it right back. "Come on Jason, let's chalk all that up as you meddling in my job and let's all get along tonight. I mean, Levi is your future brother in law, you should relax." His eyeroll meant defeat as he walked with us through the large double doors of the mansion.
"Alessa! Good to see you!" Many people flocked at our entrance, shaking Levi's hand and praising me for landing humanity's strongest soldier. So many ridiculous comments, flare ups of people show boating to impress. Levi was incredible at crowd management as most of the time he just kept his mouth shut and moved past with ease.
"Alessa, darling, how good you look!" My mother came doting, kissing my head and grabbing my hands. "This must be Levi, how lovely to meet the man that could sway this cold heart." She gloated pointing at me. Levi fake smiled, kissing my mother's hand.
"It's my pleasure Mrs. Evans." My mother, in all her grandeur, fanned herself as if taken back by Levi. This was just a show, she was completely full of shit. My father approached next to her, staring Levi up and down.
"So, you're the one." My father, not the type to be forthcoming, held his hand out for Levi, to which they both shook hands. Both stared each other down, sizing the other up. "How is it you managed to get someone so famous to fall for your antics?" My father shot me a look making me laugh.
"Because he's just like me, as I told you. We got a long splendidly from the start." My father nodded, releasing Levi's hand.
"We'll see about that. I have high expectations for you boy. Don't disappoint." Levi nodded once.
"I wouldn't dream of it." He was pushing hard to act and it was incredibly believable. I knew for a fact he would never be like this if it didn't mean life or death. We mingled through the crowd, various congratulations coming our way as many people knew the announcement already. The drinks were flowing, waiters with hors d'oeuvres floating around the room. It was a grand spectacle and mainly was for my father to reup contracts with many of the people in attendance.
A clanging against a glass rang through the party and everyone turned their attention to my parents standing on the first landing of the grand staircase.
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming to our annual ball. Many familiar faces and many new faces in attendance tonight, welcome each and every one of you." Many people clapped before my father continued. "This year has been a fantastic year for all of us, and I think all of you would be in agreement that it has been notably the best." Many cheers and claps surfaced again. "I would also like to give a special announcement. If everyone could please welcome my beautiful daughter Alessa home, and with her, her new fiancée Levi Ackerman, whom you all know all too well." Everyone applauded as my father pointed at the two of us. I lovingly leaned my head on Levi's shoulder as we held hands, giving off a happy couple vibe. "Please everyone, enjoy yourselves this evening, we have much to celebrate. Do not stop the champagne!" Everyone cheered and clapped for my father, including Levi and myself. Appearances were everything.
We continued to meander through the crowd, finally after quite some time, getting a small break to ourselves at one of the seating areas outside of the grand ball room. Levi did his famous 'tch' and leaned back in the chair.
"I hope everything went well, I need to get the fuck out of here already." I giggled, pressing myself against his arm, laying my head on him as people glanced in our direction, luckily out of ear shot.
"Don't worry, we'll be out of here before you know it. How's your leg?" He gave me a so-so hand signal. He'd been limping around since he hurt himself bailing Mikasa out of the female titan situation but you wouldn't tell in the bedroom. Tonight he'd been walking around as if nothing was bothering him, though the pain was starting to get to him.
"How's your hand?" I shrugged, looking down at my gloved hands, The gloves hid the bandages, it was essential no one saw that.
"It could be worse I'm sure." Jason approached from a distance, mine and Levi's conversation ending abruptly.
"The two love-birds off away from everyone…" He plopped down on an adjacent couch, though his eyes did not waver from Levi. "You know if you said all this back at your HQ, I doubt I'd be so pissed at you."
"If I did that, your sister's cover would've been blown and she probably would've ended up jailed or dead. You're welcome." I stifled the giggle that wanted to burst from my throat. Jason half pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'm still surprised though, for being someone in such heavy spotlight, that you'd even want to be apart of this family." Levi shrugged, rubbing my leg with his hand.
"Your sister is very convincing." Jason stared blankly at Levi, immediately regretting this conversation.
"I'm glad you're back to your old self again Jason. I'm sorry to make you think I betrayed you all, you know me much better than that though." Jason nodded.
"Yea I shouldn't have let my emotions get to me. Trust me I got one hell of a reprimand when I got back home and you sent your letter." I gave a genuine apologetic look to Jason. That meant our father put him through a bout of conditioning. Luckily it wasn't a lot of it, it seems. "It's nice to have you back sis. I know you're going back tonight, but at least you'll be back at the MP's soon enough. Dawk was here looking for you a while ago, did you see him?" I shook my head, thankful not to run into my old commander.
"Honestly, he's going to whine about me not killing the titan boy. It's a conversation I'd rather just not have." Jason chuckled standing up.
"I'll keep the idiot busy. At least you don't have to be here much longer, it's a long ride back to your HQ." I nodded thankful at my brother for the first time in a while. Once he was gone, Levi looked at his pocket watch.
"Speaking of leaving, we should be getting the hell out of here soon." We both stood up, making our way through the ballroom saying our goodbyes. The home stretch. I hugged my mother tight, only for show. God knows we'd never so much as speak a loving word let a lone hug unless it was in front of important people.
"Excuse me sir, a word?" One of my father's lackeys pulled him to the side. Nerves twitched in my stomach as I squeezed Levi's hand slightly. My fathers face turned to me, anger filling quickly.
"What did you do?" His voice was nearly inaudible. I slowly backed away, Levi catching my drift. We had to leave, now. We both weaseled our way from the ballroom and out the front doors as quickly and unnoticeably as possible. We hopped in the carriage quickly making the driver bolt. Fear struck my eyes as I looked at Levi, both of us wondering if the others were caught. We stopped the carriage a few streets over and sent it off without us towards the HQ. The Commander would know that something went awry. We had to stay behind and find the others. Leaving was definitely not an option.
"Shit, I hope we find them.." Levi's voice was almost panicked as we ran through the back alleyway. A painful blow to the head changed everything. I immediately saw stars, my vision darkening. Before Levi and I had a chance, my father's lackeys were on top of us. I looked up at Levi who's face was buried into the ground as it took three lackeys to subdue him. I growled trying to pull my way away from the one that had me, only to be hit again, this time rendering the darkness to take over.