A/n: you might notice that this story is sometimes like a crack. It will continue that way and it will all be woven into the story, so a crack taken seriously.

Previously: Levi waved his arms, he reminded me of those overdramatic French men in those forbidden books, "What they did was utterly preposterous. They didn´t even have the guts to say it all to your face, but instead hid it like a bunch of wuzzies." He shook his head, "They knew you would come for dinner, I am not sure if they chose then to do it because they wanted you to hear, or if they didn´t want you to hear thinking you would be coming later."

I curled in on myself, "I don´t think I want to know what they think about me…" my captain did the man-spread without really thinking about it. I got quite the view of his manhood. Levi however didn't seem to notice, he was really into his rant, really passionate "Don't want to know? Why wouldn't you want to know. You might have found out about all of this the harder way. Like them getting interrogated by the Military Police and you then finding out when they take you away! Now the two of us know that we have to show that you aren't the type of threat they think you of."

Blinking at him I tried to pry my eyes away from his grand manhood, it was moving as he was waving his arms. He had curly hair, inky black. "So, you still think of me as a threat?" I couldn't help but to sound disappointed. He nodded and leaned back, I think he has finally calmed a bit down, I don´t think he normally can vent out like this to others. I noticed that he didn´t have any chest hair, he was smooth all over. Not much hair on his arms or legs either. "Brat. You are a hormonal teenager that can turn into a 15-meter-tall killing machine. You are a threat, especially now that we don´t really know how you do it. But the others on the squad makes everything more dramatic, I have a feeling they will come around at some point and notice how extreme they have been. I don´t know how long it will take though Jaeger, so don´t let your hopes get up."

He stood up and walked to the cell door. I stood shakily up and sniffed, "C-captain?" he turned and raised a thin eyebrow, "Can I come to you sometimes?" I shivered as I readied myself from a terrible comeback, "I am always open. Know that, don´t expect me to feed you candy while burping you though." Grinning I let my infamous impulsive behavior take over.

Surging forwards I hugged him breathing in his scent before running back to my bed before he could do anything. I blushed as two thoughts entered my mind, "He is like an extra mom." And "Wow his dick is really big." He really is like a mom, but still not, he is so much more than a mom. He is a mom, a father, a dick of a brother, a captain and a sort-of-friend all in one.

What is that shorty for me?

Levi POV:

I can´t say Jaeger is perfect, because he isn´t, no one is. However, not being perfect doesn´t mean not enjoyable. The brat was up and going the next day following my order to the minuscule detail, doing his best to please me. I must say that some of the feats he pulled this morning astonished me, it's like the kid has magic. Then again maybe he does, why else would there be blocks of ice in his cell?

Magic. It was something I was sure didn´t exist until last night. Down in the Underground my mom used to tell me stories of warlocks and witches fighting and becoming evil as they brought glory to their home. I remember wanting to be a warrior, a sorcerer like those in mothers' stories. Now I found that a bit silly, a soldier is something much more beneficial. However, the dream of doing magic never left me. It was what kept me going when food was running low, or when the water gave me diarrhea.

Jaeger ignited that little kid in me wanting to learn how to fly. Like fly without my 3DMG. Being down in the Underground I learned that there was a time to be a child, and there was a time to be an adult. Unfortunately, the time for being an adult was mostly dominant, but I still at times cuddled up with a plushie or quietly had a war with my wooden horse. I can't say I completely stopped, but in my defense it's a way of coping, letting my inner child take over. I am an adult, I only sleep with my plushie dog three times a week okay?

"Captain why are your cheeks pink?" asked Eren next to me quietly as we walked up to the room where we would plan how his transformation today would go. "They aren´t pink, it's just the light." Eren nodded, "Good because if you were blushing I would have filed it away for later to blackmail you when we were closer." I stared up at him, my neck complaining, "How can you be so sure we will get closer in the future brat?" the brat gave me a shit-eating grin, "You are going to be stuck with me until one of us dies, and I will haunt you if I die first by the way, we are bound to get closer. Plus, I am seeing this all as a challenge, I want you as a friend" he smirked and leaned in closer, his eyes looked golden in the light, "or maybe even more than that." He gave me that shit-eating grin again and bounced in front of me scrambling to keep up with Hanji in the front.

That little brat. He was just teasing. Right? No need to look into this further.

Hanji whipped their head back and gave me a smirk, they knew exactly what was going through my head, even from several meters away. My brat must have said something to trigger that smirk. Tsk. Shitty Glasses.

I scowled and followed the others as they filed into the room where we usually let Ness teach the new recruits about the horses and the flares. I walked up to the blackboard as the others got comfortable and took out a piece of chalk. It felt cold in my hand, I would never be a good teacher. The thought of being a teacher made me mentally shudder. It sounded like some kind of nightmare.

My drawing looked pretty… simple let's say. It was an outline of a human and then the lines of what looked like a vagina around it. It was supposed to be Eren the Brat and the cuts that would have to be made to get him out, however, Auruo snorted so loudly that I have a feeling they also saw what I saw. Petra looked ready to burst out laughing herself. I am so happy she isn´t lady-like, that would be so annoying to deal with.

"We will have to cut here in case the brat goes Rambo got it?" I noticed my squad had incredibly serious faces. As if their whole lives depended on this. I sometimes like that about them, but they are way too extreme these days. Some of their actions I understand, but after seeing Eren The Gigantic Brat cry after what they said I just can´t help but feel a bit sour. The brat was so sweet and had shown no sign of attacking anybody, he hasn´t even shown any distaste to any of them, only admiration, respect and fear, and yet they still seem to want him to be bad. They hate to be proven wrong, especially after being cruel, so I give them a couple of weeks of denial before they see how wrong they are. They might even coddle the brat later.

Eren looked nervously in my squad´s direction. How will this even work in the future, he won't be able to put faith in them at the rate they are going. It will lead to disaster out on the field if the team is that scared and cautious of each other. Maybe I should try to help Eren keep his magic hidden from them until they are better with each other.

Hanji was smirking like some sort of madman in the corner, their glasses was glinting strangely. I have never seen anybody get that kind of effect on their glasses, I have seen people try though. Some recruits have stood out in the sun swinging their heads around trying to get the shimmer like Hanji does. It looked ridiculous.

The mad scientist jumped down from their perch and threw an arm around the brat leading them out the door. They were drooling slightly and had their free hand in a fist, raised up in front of them in a dramatic way. "Let's go Eren and unearth the mysteries of the titans!" I looked at the place Hanji had been on in disgust, who knew when the last time Shitty Glasses had showered? I might have to force them into a bath tub and scrub them myself once again. Hanji just found it funny their lack of personal hygiene would eventually make me strip them myself just to scrub them like some sort of annoying pet.

Maybe I can get Eren to help me catch them at night, so I can clean them?

Scowling once again I put down the white chalk and walked after the rest, wishing for a strong cup of tea as bitter as me. Tea fixes everything. Tea and Eren's apples. Eren's apples were amazing, but unfortunately probably one of my squads focus when it comes to suspicion. They might think the apples might get poisoned. I seriously doubt that, I have a feeling that if Eren wanted to kill me, he would be so obvious about it in his eyes that I would get some warning long before he even tries.

*time skip*

I can´t say I was that surprised about Eren failing to transform. If I was a young titan shifter I would probably have problems turning into a titan surrounded by "mean" titan slayers, some of the best humanity has. My squad was really not helping matters as they were sending him suspicious glances all the time not even trying to be discreet. They wanted Eren to know that they weren't trusting him just yet not to try kill them all. The brat looked so downtrodden by it all, especially now that he had two hands bandages as a result of his failure to transform. It had been a damn bloody mess, I have no idea how the brat had the strength to continue biting after he failed, it looked horribly painful to do.

I was sipping my tea next to Petra who was trying to convince me of Eren being a wild card.

"Yes, he is." Petra looked a bit surprised that I had just said it out loud with a simple tone. "However, he is also a soldier with more determination to kill titans than I do. He might be a wild card but that does not justify trying to make him fear you more than necessary."

Petra opened up her mouth, "Why do you think he failed to transform?" My fellow soldier looked confused, "Why Heichou?" I scowled into my tea, "Because he doesn´t want to. I think he needs a true goal to transform, and a blood sacrifice. However, he is too damn scared and sad to be able to. Just think of how this will affect future expeditions as well as the Survey Corps. Tell the others."

I heard a small gasp behind me just before an explosion of steam and yellow/green lightning struck behind me. Soon my poor tea was dripping out of my cup that was still in my hand. Turning behind to yell at whoever ruined my tea I held my tongue. Because behind me was Eren stuck in a skinless titan arm, and he looked freaking terrified.

I noticed that Eren was too focused on getting out that anything else was not of his sight. Around him were my squad ready to attack, they didn´t look happy to have to be ready, but they almost seemed relieved to have proof that Eren was a danger. They seemed to love drama and drama was exactly what they were getting, even when it wasn´t necessary.

Walking calmly over I held out a hand. "Calm down."

I heard Eren behind me sound relieved and desperate for help, "Sorry! I-I am trying Heichou- "it was then I knew he had noticed that I was talking to my snarling team mates. It probably looked like I was trying to tame wild rabid animals and not my own team mates. "He is not a danger to anyone-"

Eld broke in and snapped, "He transformed without permission right next to us!" I looked at him with a "you-a-stupid-ass-hoe" look. "No shit sherlock Eld. He is new to this and knows about as much as we do, to expect him to control a power we didn´t even know about less than a week ago is like expecting the tooth fairy to dance in a brothel with Eyebrows with titans serving drinks." I met each of their eyes, "Stand down."

My squad shifted uneasily but were soon saved from deciding by Hanji coming running at full speed at Eren, hands stretched out in front of them. "EREEEEEN!" their eyes were wide, and they had a line of drool running down the corner of their mouth, their fingers were wiggling. "PLEASE LET ME TOUCH YOUR ARM!" Eyes glinting and pupils large they threw themselves at the skinless steaming arm only to soon howl in pain as we all heard a sizzling sound. Hanji threw themselves on the grass and rolled around getting even more dirty than they already were. "HOOOOOT! WRITE THAT DOWN MOBLIT! TITAN WITHOUT SKIN IS VERY HOOOOT!"

Hanji rolled over and grinned at me from the grassy floor. Their shirt had grass stains on it and a small beetle was in their hair along with a ladybug with four spots that was climbing their goggles. Oh I was sooo going to clean their filthy ass tonight if I so have to use my own damn soap!