CHAPTER 54

Getting the Hell Out of Dodge

When Friday evening rolled around, Joe Morelli was not sitting at my mother's dining room table. To avoid answering questions about the status of my relationship, I took a page out of my father's book and kept my head down, shoveling food into my mouth as fast as I could. I'd prearranged for Mare to call me with an emergency, and at 6:30 on the dot my phone rang. I made my excuses and at 6:31, I was out the door. My mother had rushed after me, calling my name, but I didn't let the sound of her frustrated voice stop me.

As I drove away, I didn't feel the usual relief that came with avoiding a lecture from my mother on how I'm screwing up my life. I felt weak and cowardly. I was a grown woman for shit's sake. I shouldn't be afraid to speak my mind to anyone, especially my family. I was going to have to give that some thought.

Halfway home, Jeanne called and asked me to meet her at the gym. "It's all set," she said as we sat down at our usual table in the juice bar. "You leave in nine days and you'll be gone for twelve weeks, but it's not going to be cheap."

"How much?"

"He wants $20,000 in cash," she said and paused to see if I was going to balk at the amount. "I know it sounds like a lot," she defended, "but he has to build a few training obstacles and get everything set up."

She was right; that wasn't cheap, but I simply nodded and said, "That's fine. I'm sure his time and expertise will be worth it." My motives for training weren't just about becoming a better bounty hunter. Right now, I wasn't even sure I was going to continue in that line of work. But no matter what I did with my life, knowing how to protect myself was priceless to me.

"He does have a couple stipulations." I nodded and waited for her to elaborate. "You need to get a medical release from your doctor. In fact, a full physical would be preferable. The training regimen is brutal, and he needs to know how hard he can push you."

"No problem. I'm due for one anyway."

"He also wants me to stress to you the importance of confidentiality. He likes his life the way it is. No intrusions from the outside world. This is a huge favor he's doing for me."

"I know and I'm grateful to both of you. I promise I won't tell anyone where I'm going unless you approve." That seemed to make her feel better. "So, who is this guy and where am I going?"

She smiled at my eagerness. "His name is Finnegan Scott." Why did that name sound familiar? I was certain I'd heard it recently. I shook off the moment of déjà vu and tuned back into what she was saying. "I've known Finn for a long time. We worked together at the Bureau."

"Wait a minute." I held up my hand. "You were an FBI agent?"

"I was recruited out of College," she said. "I served for seven years as an agent before I burned out. That's when I started working as a Bounty Hunter. Anyway, after Finn retired from the field, he worked as an instructor at the academy for a couple of years and then he retired. For personal reasons, he lives in seclusion."

Seclusion? Personal reasons? The man didn't sound very stable. "What kind of personal reasons?" I asked, feeling uncertain about going away to some isolated location with a man I didn't know.

"It's his story to share, but I'll tell you the basics because I think you need to know." She paused and looked down at the table for a moment before meeting my eyes again. "Before he left the bureau, his wife and daughter were murdered."

My mouth fell open and all I could do was stare at her. When I was finally able to get my mouth to form words, I asked, "Did he ever find out who killed his family?"

"No, the perpetrator or perpetrators were never found. Finn begged to work the case, but his superiors wouldn't allow it. They said he was too close. So, he used his accumulated vacation time to conduct an off the books investigation. When they got wind of it, they gently suggested he resign from the field until he could get his head back in the game. It all left a bad taste in my mouth. I resigned soon after and lost contact with him for a while."

As she talked about him, I felt the high regard she held for him. And from his level of experience, I got the impression he was an older man. I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I have these feelings. I call them my Spidey Sense. Over the years, I've learned to rely on it. And right now, it was telling me that I was headed in the right direction, that Mr. Scott was a good man, and that I was going to need to learn everything he had to teach me. The feeling was strong.

"I trust you, Jeanne, but certain people in my life are going to want to know more about Mr. Scott. They'll want to know that I'm going to be safe wherever it is that I'm going."

"Yeah, I get it. Have Hector run a confidential background check on Finn, but I can assure you, it'll turn up clean. He's a good man. I wouldn't send you to someone who would hurt you."

"I know that," I assured her, "but I just can't disappear, not after what happened to me."

"Even though Fin values his privacy, he understands that you need to let some people know where you're going, but he won't be happy if anyone shows up uninvited at his place."

"I'll need to tell my parents, of course, and Hector. Would it be okay if I also told Mary Lou and Lester?"

"I think that's okay, but don't tell anyone else and make sure they're aware of the privacy stipulations."

I assured her I would, and then paused as a new problem came to mind. "Ranger has trackers on my car, most of my shoe's—everywhere really—especially after what happened. So, how will I get out of town without all of Rangeman following?"

She snorted. "You're lucky he hasn't asked you to get chipped."

"He did," I deadpanned.

At first her eyes widened, unable to tell if I was kidding and then she bent forward, holding her stomach, laughing hard. I sat there with my head tilted to the side and one eyebrow raised, frowning impatiently, waiting for her to finish. Realizing I wasn't laughing along with her, she finally sobered. "Sorry," she said, barely able to speak without going into another fit of laughter. She reached out and put her hand on top of mine. "I don't mean to laugh at you. But please tell me he at least took you to a fancy dinner before offering to have you chipped like a dog."

I tried to keep a straight face, but my eyes started watering and my cheeks began to quiver. "No… No fancy dinner," I said, only laughing a little at first and then I stopped trying to fight it and let go because it really was funny. "I guess I should be grateful he didn't drag me to the vet and insist."

We finally noticed several people staring at us and sobered. "So, what were we talking about?" she asked.

"I asked you how I was going to get out of town without Ranger or his Merry Men finding out."

"Merry Men… that's a good one. I bet they love being called that." She shook her head and continued. "I keep a nondescript Toyota Corolla for decoy work. You can borrow it." She snapped her fingers. "Oh, and you'll have to pack clothes that have been recently washed or new. That way you know they have no trackers on them." She was quiet for a minute, trying to figure out a way to say something. Finally, she said, "I hope you don't mind, but I had to tell Finn what happened to you. If he's going to train you, he needs to know."

I'd hoped to go away for training and leave all traces of what happened to me in the cellar behind. Now, it looked like this Finn person was going to know all my business. "I don't like it, but I guess you have a point," I told Jeanne. "He needs to know what he's getting himself into."

"I'm sorry, Stephanie, but triggers can come out of nowhere. If he understands what you're dealing with beforehand, the training will go more smoothly."

"Where exactly am I going?"

"He has a cabin on a lake in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina." She was familiar with the area and began telling me about it. For the next hour, I listened closely as she went over specifics and helped me make a list of items I would need to purchase and pack. The more we planned, the more energized I became.

I thought about all the things Jeanne said as I drove home from our meeting. My brain conjured a lake scene with a small rustic cabin nearby. She made the mysterious Mr. Finnegan Scott seem seasoned. I pictured him to be as old as my father, and probably a lonely hermit. I was looking forward to all the wisdom he was going to impart. And for some reason I wasn't afraid of going into the unknown. It felt liberating. This was going to be good for me. I could feel it.

I spotted Hector's El Camino as soon as I pulled into my parking lot. He stepped out of his car, smiling when he saw me without my splint. "What did the physical therapist say?"

I waved my arm around, twisting my wrist and hand. "She's pleased with my range of motion and gave me exercises to try at home. I'll see her again on Monday. She'll probably release me back to normal duty then."

"Great, we will celebrate." He reached in his car and pulled a Pino's pizza box off his passenger seat and walked with me into the building.

"I ate at my parents, but I could probably fit another slice in here," I said as I rubbed my stomach.

After we ate and cleared away the pizza box and paper plates, we sat on the couch to begin our nightly lock picking session. I was getting pretty good. I had already mastered two types of locks and was working on a third. Of course, I still needed to increase my speed, but I was taking it one win at a time.

The entire time I was working on the locks, I was thinking about the best way to tell him where I was going. I didn't need his permission, but I also didn't want him to be worried about my safety or think I was abandoning him and all his help. I finally stopped finessing the pin in the lock and waited for him to look at me. "I have something to tell you," we both said at the same time.

We stared at each other, curiosity growing. "You go first," I said.

He seemed to be struggling to find the right words. That wasn't encouraging… at all. I tried to keep my panic under wraps, but the longer it took for him to speak, the more my anxiety grew. What could be so bad that he was afraid to tell me? "The last thing I want to do is upset you." He paused for a beat, taking in my worried expression.

"O-k-a-y." I spoke slowly, thinking about the last time he gave me upsetting news. We were sitting in the same spot we are now when he revealed that Morelli had been cheating on me. Surely, he didn't think I'd be upset about Morelli flirting with some woman in a bar. We're broken up and he knows it. It has to be something else. So many thoughts were running through my head, and none of them were good.

"I have information that might affect you, but I am not sure if you would want to know."

"What kind of information?" I asked hesitantly. Something inside of me was screaming at me to tell him to shut up, but I was battling my curiosity. "Is it about a person?"

"It is about Ranger."

"Is he hurt?" I asked, my voice rising with alarm. When he shook his head no, I calmed a little and then, asked, "Is it something I can help him with?" Again, he shook his head no. My worry was fading and quickly being replaced with something that made my stomach feel squishy.

He looked away as if he didn't want to see my reaction when he spoke again. "It is about where he was when I found you missing."

"Where he was?" He was working out of Rangeman Miami and visiting Julie, wasn't he? Before I let my mind run wild with all kinds of horrible things, I asked myself an important question. Did it really matter where he was or what he was doing? Hector started to say something, and I quickly held up my hand. "Stop. You know that Ranger and I are not together as a couple and we never will be. So, whatever it is you think you need to tell me, don't. He can do whatever he wants with his life. I don't need to know about it, okay?"

As if I'd just released him from a giant burden he'd been carrying around, he nodded and managed a smile. Just then, a knock sounded at the door. "I'll get it." I jumped to my feet. "It's probably Mary Lou. I wanted to tell you both my news at the same time." I checked the video screen, noticing Mare holding a big pink bakery box.

I unlocked the door and threw it open. "Hey," she said, coming in and heading straight for the kitchen. "Tina from the bakery called to let me know Milton's family never picked up his birthday cake. She marked it down half price, so, here I am. We can celebrate Milton's 76th birthday for him." She sat the cake box on the counter next to Rex.

"Great timing," I told Mare. "There's something I want to tell both of you." I motioned for her to follow me into the living room and sit down in the chair across from me while I sat on the couch next to Hector. I smiled, feeling certain about my plan. Feeling my happiness, they grinned back at me, waiting to hear my news. "I'm going to leave town for a while to get physical training to do my job better."

Hector's smile fell and he was instantly alert. "Training? You do not need to go away to get training. I will teach you anything you want to learn."

I had to do some fast talking to get him to understand that our friendship made us too close for him to train me. "I know you will, but I need someone who isn't afraid to push me, and I also want to do this on my own." While he let that settle in, I told them about Finnegan Scott and that he was going to be training me for three months.

"I will run a background check on him."

I smiled indulgently at him. "I told Jeanne you would insist. She's okay with it as long as you do it confidentially. I don't want Ranger or anyone else to know where I'm going. Mr. Scott guards his privacy, but he's allowed me to tell both of you, my parents, and Lester. I'm afraid that if someone shows up uninvited, he'll refuse to train me and send me home. I need to do this. Okay?"

Hector sighed and sat back against the couch.

"I don't want to put you in a position where you have to lie to Ranger about my whereabouts, but I also couldn't leave without letting you know where I was going. I knew you'd worry."

"I appreciate that, but I will worry about you, regardless."

"I think it's great," Mare said. "You need to get away from here and getting properly trained is icing on the cake. Do you know anything about where you'll be staying?"

"I only know what Jeanne told me and that wasn't much. She just said he lives in a cabin on the mountain."

"A cabin?" she wrinkled her nose. "Do you think there'll be running water?"

I paused. I hadn't considered creature comforts. "Jeanne didn't say anything about not having running water."

"Well, you'll need to bring hand sanitizer, that's for sure. And baby wipes. Just in case."

Mare's mom side was coming out and that was okay with me because I knew I would be safe in her hands and well prepared. "I'll add that to the list," I told her, "but I'm trying to keep my baggage to a minimum. If I show up with a lot of stuff, he'll think I'm a diva."

"How are you going to get to this secret location without Ranger or his men following you?" Mare asked.

"I will drive you," Hector said. "That way I know you get there safely."

I sighed. "I appreciate the offer, but I want to do this myself. Jeanne's loaned me her car, and no one will be able to track me." I looked at both of them and rubbed my hands together. "So, I'm doing this. I'm actually going to boot camp."

Until now Hector had been listening but was hoping it was all a vague plan. After witnessing my excitement, he started to come around. "I think this will be good for you, but I will miss you." He pulled me in for a hug.

"I'll be back before you notice I'm gone," I whispered against his shoulder. Now that everything was settled, they started giving me more recommendations on things I would need to take. Finally, I put my list down and stood up. "I think it's time for cake."

Mare and Hector followed me into the kitchen. "Wow, Steph," Mare said and then stopped midsentence.

"What." I turned around to see what was the matter.

"Going to Kick It is really working for you. Your ass looks great in those jeans. Doesn't it, Hector?" She turned around to get his input. Gone were the days when she was scared of him. Now, he was just one of the gang. Weird.

I wasn't fishing for compliments, but when Hector didn't readily agree with her, I started to wonder why. Before I could ask, Mare grabbed my shoulders and spun me back around, my ass on display. I twisted my neck enough to see them behind me and found that Hector was actually giving my ass a good looking over as if I was a seam on a sock and he was quality inspector No. 6. He finally smiled broadly and nodded. "Ah. It is okay for a little white girl."

"What?" I hissed.

Mare gave Hector a dirty look. "He's kidding, girl." She rushed to assure me and then gestured to my butt. "J Lo would be proud of that ass."

"No more talk about my butt or any other body part, got it?" I turned my back on them and continued to the kitchen. I needed cake. Bad. From behind me, I heard murmurings. Something about being sensitive and touchy. Mare opened the cake box and began cutting the cake. I brought out more paper plates, and Hector poured Diet Dr. Pepper into our glasses.

"Um, Steph, what in the world have you been feeding Rex? He's huge."

I moved beside her, peering down at my little buddy. "He's not huge. What are you talking about?"

"Sure, he is. He can barely fit his butt in the soup can. It's hanging out. Look." How had I missed that? She was right. He couldn't get his back end in the can no matter how hard he wiggled. "He's gonna get stuck. Do you have one of those handheld can openers?" I gave her a horrified look, but she just shrugged. "You can always upgrade him to the family size soup can."

"Hush," I swatted her shoulder. "You're hurting his feelings."

While they took their cake into the living room to eat, I pinched off a tiny taste of the creamy goodness and dropped it into Rex's enclosure before following them. While we ate, we streamed the latest episode of Modern Family. "You know," Mare said, "since I'm going to keep Rex at my house while you're gone, there's no reason he can't undergo his own version of boot camp. I can be his drill sergeant. I think a Barbie headband and leg warmers will fit him. Oooh, and Barbie's workout center comes with tiny barbells and a little trampoline. When you come back, he'll be in peak condition. He'll be able to get any job he wants. He could be a teacher or even be an astronaut if he wanted."

Hector made a sound that could have been a snort. I looked at him and then back at Mare. "Are you body shaming Rex?"

Seconds later we heard Rex's squeaking wheel going round and round.

Over the weekend, Mare and I went shopping for the things I would need to bring with me to boot camp. With her help, I was able to check off most of the items on my list. We went back to her house afterwards because she was going to loan me her luggage. Instead of dragging everything home with me and risking Ranger putting a tracker in my new things, I left everything at her house. This was another thing that was going to change when I got back. He had to stop tracking me.

By Wednesday of the next week, most of the gossip about my breakup had begun to die down. That morning, I went for my physical and was given a medical release with no limitations on any exercises that I wanted to perform. In other words, I was back to normal and Mr. Scott had their blessing to push me as far as he possibly could. Great. While I was there, I also renewed my birth control shot since it was due.

My plans were coming along nicely, that is until I returned Kent Wheeler to the system. As I walked out of the station with my body receipt in hand, my steps faltered when I saw Joe Morelli leaning against the driver's side of my Jeep. He looked good—damn good. His body was loose, as if he didn't have a care in the world. There had been radio silence from him since that day in his kitchen, but I'd expected as much. This was his M.O. He'd bide his time, letting me cool off and when he thought I'd forgotten what had made me mad, he'd reappear as if nothing happened and tell me Bob missed me. He had his routine down pat. It was designed to get me back in his bed and once I was there, he'd be able to convince me to stay… for a while. It had worked before so there was no reason for him to think his tactics wouldn't work again. But he would be wrong.

I kept my head down, eyes on the pavement as I walked to my Jeep. "Looking good, Cupcake." He flashed me the same smile that never failed to heat my blood and melt my panties off. It was the Tasty Pastry all over again. His charms were legendary. They hadn't failed him yet. And for all my strength—I wasn't immune.

"I thought we had an agreement," I said, casually looking around to see if we were drawing attention. The door to the station was standing wide open and several cops loitered, conveniently taking their break. I glanced up, noticing fingers poking through the window blinds of some of offices in order to get a view of what was transpiring below. Great. This would be all over the Burg by lunchtime, igniting the rumors that had only just begun to die down.

He didn't try to pretend he didn't know what I was talking about. He pushed himself off my Jeep, his face as serious as I've ever seen it. "I'm sorry," he pleaded. "Will you please forgive me?"

The angry muscles in my face went slack. He'd never apologized before. I wanted to say I was a good person, capable of forgiving, but I'm not. In this case, he was asking too much. "No," I said, raising my eyebrows to let him know my patience was running thin and he needed to get out of my way. He took a step toward me and I took a step back. There was something that had been bothering me since the last time I saw him, and I wanted to clear the air. I was going away for three months; who knew when I would see him again? "For the record," I told him, "I wasn't setting you up. I meant it when I accepted your marriage proposal. I was giving you a chance to choose us, but you didn't."

He reached for me and I took another step back. He let his hands fall to his side. "Terry... she means nothing to me. I haven't seen her. You have to believe me. I love you, Stephanie. I'm all in. Just give me another chance."

"Why would I give you another chance? You looked right into my eyes and lied to me. Maybe someday I'll be able to forgive you, but I won't ever forget how you betrayed my trust."

He hung his head and when he looked up at me again there was something in his eyes akin to shame. "That night in the bakery… it wasn't planned. I want you to know that." He waited for me to say something, but what was there to say? "I remember every detail of that night," he continued. "It's one of the few happy memories of my childhood. If I had it to do over, I would have taken you somewhere nice, and made that moment special for you, instead of taking you behind the bakery counter." He started shaking his head. Regret and unshed tears shone in his eyes. "And I definitely wouldn't have written those poems on the walls."

My heart ached. I still loved him. Maybe I always would. I looked down at the ground, swallowing past the lump in my throat as I fought my own tears. Finally, after all this time, he was saying everything I ever wanted to hear. But it was too late. He looked at me expectantly. This was the part where I usually took a hesitant first step toward him and grudgingly let him back into my life. I don't know where I found the strength, but I lifted my head, holding it high as I stepped around him and opened my car door.

He didn't try to stop me as I began backing out of the space. "I'm in love with you, Stephanie Plum! And I'm going to be here waiting for you when you're ready," he yelled loud enough for me to hear him through the closed car window. Unfortunately, the spectators loitering around the building could hear him as well.

I lowered the window a couple inches. "Don't wait for me, Joe," I whispered loud enough for only him to hear me and then I drove away, crying for the life we'd never get to share.

Early Friday morning I was startled awake by someone knocking on my apartment door. Through my bedroom curtains, I could see that it was still dark outside. I turned over to check the time and groaned when I saw the glowing red numbers telling me it was 5:07 am. Getting a visit in what I considered the middle of the night was never a good thing. Alarmed and a little angry, I grabbed my gun from the bedside table, threw off the comforter, and went to see who was disturbing my sleep and why.

Since I was still sleeping with the bathroom light on, I was able to see clearly enough to make my way through the apartment, flipping more lights on as I went. Before I opened the door, I checked the video screen to see who was on the other side. Ranger. I rubbed my eyes, convinced I was dreaming, but when I looked again, he was still standing outside my door. I hadn't expected to see him for a while, not after the things I'd said to him three days ago.

"Give me a minute," I yelled through the door as I set the gun on the small table and nearly screamed when I caught my reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. My short hair was sticking up in all directions. I quickly ran my fingers through it, doing my best to get it to lay down. It was a little better but not by much. Finally, I sighed and gave up. Realizing he was still waiting on me to open the door, I began fumbling to release the center bar, then the floor bolt, and lastly the alarm.

"Good morning, Babe," he said as soon as I opened the door.

I took him in from head to toe. It wasn't often I got to see him in something other than his Rangeman uniform, but this morning he had on black jeans, a cream sweater, and a black leather jacket. As usual, he smelled wonderful. His scent triggered thoughts of his bare skin touching mine and his mouth doing lots and lots of nasty things to me. I realized what I was doing and shook my head to stop that train of thought. Feeling uncomfortable because I'd just rolled out of bed while he'd obviously had time to shower and get presentable, I self-consciously smoothed my hair again even though it was futile.

"I thought this would make up for the early morning visit." He gestured to the coffee and pastry bag in his hands, but when he saw my gun sitting on the table, he gave a small nod of approval.

"What are you doing here?" While I tried to make sense out of why he was here so early in the morning, he took note of me and what I was wearing or more accurately not wearing. When his eyes dropped to my chest, his jaw clenched, and he swallowed hard. Feeling on display in my white tank top and wonder woman boxers, I quickly grabbed Lester's forgotten hoodie off the pegs by the door and slipped it on. As I pulled my hands through the ends of the sleeves and crossed the sides over my braless breasts, I turned and headed to the kitchen.

He followed me and set the coffee cup and pastry bag down on my kitchen counter. His face had a haunted look as he said, "I came to say goodbye."

My heart lurched. "You're leaving because of what I said the other day?"

Instead of answering me, he asked, "Did you mean everything you said?"

I took a moment to let the conversation run through my mind again. Everything I said was truly how I felt, and those feelings had been brewing for a while. "Yes, but I don't want you to leave with any hard feelings."

"I never meant to hurt you, Babe, but I see that I have." He smiled softly. "I respect you and from now on, I will respect the boundaries you've set."

"But you don't have to leave to do that, do you?" I was nearly desperate. Had what I said been enough to make him cut all ties with me? When he didn't answer me, I began to panic. "Are you coming back?"

"Could be a while, but I'll be back," he said as he reached toward my face as if he was going to run the back of his fingers over my jaw, but right before he touched my skin, he let his hand drop back down to his side. "In the meantime, Tank will be available if you need anything."

"Are you leaving for business or… ?"

"Bad business, Babe."

He had this grim look on his face that scared me down to my toes. I didn't want him to leave with the way things were between us. What if he got hurt or worse? "Promise me you'll be careful."

"I'm always careful," he countered. "You're the one I'm worried about. I don't like leaving you. You're not in a good place."

I looked away. "I'm doing the best I can."

"It's going to catch up to you." He pulled a business card out of his pants pocket and handed it to me. "This is the name of a therapist I think you'll like. She can help you if you'll let her. You don't have to be tough all the time."

I didn't want to make him worry needlessly about me while he was gone, so I took the card even though I had no intention of calling the therapist. We stood quietly, taking each other in as if this might be the last time we set eyes on each other. "As long as you come back, I'll be fine," I said, not wanting him to leave. It seemed like he was running away from me and that scared me. The air was filled with unspoken desires. I had to say something to break the spell. "Besides, you're too pretty to get messed up."

"Babe, I'm not pretty." He almost rolled his eyes. Am I a good example or what?

"With those thick lashes and that chiseled jaw, you could hang up your cargo pants and 9mm and try your hand at modeling." I tried not to smile. "You wouldn't be just any model… you'd be a super model. Bigger than David Gandy. Probably even bigger than Fabio."

He looked at me as if he wasn't sure why he put up with me.

"You should be happy you didn't end up with a double chin and a wart on the end of your nose."

He grinned and thought about laughing.

"I'm going to be working out while you're gone and getting better at my job."

"Don't get so good that you don't need me anymore."

I tilted my head to the side. "You think that's possible?"

"You make me believe in the impossible."

"Still friends, Batman?"

"You're my best friend, Babe." He pulled me into his arms like he'd wanted to do from the moment he walked into my apartment and I went willingly, instantly engulfed in his warmth. As I leaned my head against his chest, he tightened his arms around me. I was reassured by the sound of his beating heart and more aware than ever that he was flesh and blood and not indestructible. "I don't want to lose you from my life," he whispered a little desperately into my ear. I looked up at him and he kissed my forehead, his lips lingering on my skin. I felt my eyes growing wet and closed them hoping to quell the tide before I became a blubbering mess. By the time I openened my eyes again, he was gone.

My mother was standing alone at the front door when I pulled into the driveway. I clutched the steering wheel and breathed a long sigh. I'd been dodging her calls since my hasty retreat last week and from the look of determination on her face, I could tell she wasn't going to let me leave tonight without getting answers. I'd thought a lot about what I was going to say to her. The old Stephanie would have continued to avoid her hoping it would all go away, but I wanted her to understand and support my decision, which meant I'd have to tell her what Morelli did.

She held the door open for me as I went inside. Instead of bombarding me with questions she kept giving me pointed looks designed to instill guilt and confession. I'd been through this many times, so I knew the drill. "Where is everyone?" I asked when I noted only three place settings on the table.

"Your grandmother is at a viewing and your sister's family went to Albert's mothers this evening."

I wasn't fooled for a second. My mother lives for Friday night dinner. There's nothing she likes more than cooking for her offspring. She sent everyone away on purpose so there would be no interruptions during her interrogation about my breakup. "Do you need any help?" I asked.

"No. Everything's ready, just call your father to the table please."

After we were all seated, I dug into her famous pot roast with gusto. "Pass the gravy, Pumpkin," dad asked, seeming not to have a care in the world. He certainly wasn't curious about my breakup.

As I handed the ceramic dish to him, my mother said, "Not so much, Frank. You need to watch your cholesterol."

"I'll watch my cholesterol when I'm dead," he said. I'd heard this same conversation at every dinner. It was mundane.

"So, Stephanie," my mother started. With my fork getting ready to enter my mouth, I sighed. Here it comes. She wasn't even going to let me finish dinner first. "How is work going?"

I brought the fork back down to my plate without eating it and closed my mouth. This was unexpected. She never wanted to talk about my job. She preferred not to know about any of the dangerous things it entailed. I mentally prepared myself, knowing this was the lull before the storm. "I. Uh. It's going pretty well, I guess. I've brought in a few skips, nothing exciting." I finally stuck my fork in my mouth and chewed.

"Well, that's good honey. Isn't it, Frank?"

He looked up at the mention of his name. "Oh, uh, yeah. That's good, Pumpkin. I'm proud of you."

I froze. I could count on one hand the number of times my father has told me he was proud of me. He just wasn't a demonstrative man. He showed his affections by providing monetarily for us and my mom showed her affection by cooking and keeping us healthy. "Thanks, Dad. That means a lot." After that awkward exchange, we continued eating. I waited until I finished my pineapple upside down cake before I blurted my news. "I'm going to be leaving town for a few weeks." My dad slowed his bites, indicating that he was listening, but also content to let my mother ask the hard questions.

Mom put her fork down, concern clouding her eyes. "What? You can't leave town. Where will you go?"

"I'm going to get intensive physical training. It's sort of like a boot camp."

"Boot camp?" she asked, barely able to close her mouth from the shock. "Why do you need to go away for training? I'm sure Joseph can help you right here at home."

"Everyone in the Burg knows that Joe and I broke up."

"It's just temporary," she assured me, as if I didn't know the status of my own relationship. "Being in a relationship isn't easy, Stephanie. It takes work. Throwing away a good relationship at your age isn't smart. You aren't getting any younger," she sighed.

My dad pushed his plate away. "That's enough, Helen."

"She's wasting her life, Frank."

He ignored my mom and focused on me. "Tell us about this boot camp."

"I'll be gone for twelve weeks," I said and gave him the details of my training. He seemed impressed—happy that I was taking my safety seriously. "The place where I'm going requires secrecy," I added. "I'm allowed to tell you, but you can't tell anyone where I'm going."

He nodded. "Do you need any money?"

"No," I said and told them about the reward. Both of their mouths hung open—speechless.

Finally, Dad said, "I know it's been hard on you since—" He let his words trail off and then resolved to finish his thought. "I'm just glad you're taking your safety seriously." He gave me a kiss on the forehead and went to his recliner.

I helped mom clear the table and clean the kitchen. "I can't say I'm surprised about you and Joseph, but this time you seem adamant about not working things out." She handed me a plate to dry. "Will you tell me what happened?"

"He did the one thing I can't forgive," I said, my voice sounding defeated.

The plate slipped out of her hand, splashing into the water. "Are you telling me he cheated on you?" To avoid her gaze, I concentrated on drying the plate in my hand. "Are you sure," she asked.

"I saw him, Mom." I sniffed. "He asked me to marry him before Christmas. He even gave me an engagement ring. I asked him for some time to think about it. And then while I was—" I paused to clear my throat. "While I was kidnapped, he was with her, and when I got out of the hospital, I told him my answer was yes, and he slept with her again."

She made a growling sound low in her throat that I'd never heard her do before. "Tell me it wasn't with that awful Joyce Barnhardt."

I shook my head. "It was Terry Gilman."

"The MOB girl?" She narrowed her brows. "Didn't your Grandmother say he jumped out of her window half naked?"

"Yup." I sighed.

"Why that no good—" Her fingers clenched the fork she was washing before she released it. "What he did is unforgivable. Once a cheater always a cheater. Isn't that what they say?" I nodded my head, my throat too constricted to speak at the moment. I hadn't expected her to be so strongly on my side. "Don't let your Grandmother get wind of this," she warned, "or it'll be all over the Burg. That woman can't keep a secret to save her life." She went back to washing dishes and I could see that she was still thinking about something. When she handed me the last dish to dry, she said, "This boot camp, is it going to make you happy?"

"I don't know," I said, honestly.

"Do you remember how passionate you were about dancing?" she asked, smiling nostalgically. "You were only in tenth grade at the time, but you begged and begged to be allowed to go to the Dance Intensive Workshop at Julliard. Your father and I thought you were too young to be away from us for an entire week, but you said studying at Julliard was your dream. There was no way we could stand in your way." She put her hands on my shoulders, squeezing just a little. "Every night you called to tell us how much fun you were having. Do you remember?"

I nodded, remembering every moment of that week. From the second I walked through the doors of that remarkable building; I knew it was where I belonged. I even made a new friend, Aiden Brooks. He was four years older than me and was already established as a dancing prodigy. He was volunteering his time over the spring break to work with those of us who were lucky enough to get chosen for the Intensive Workshop. I'll never forget the words he said to me. He said, "Stephanie, you have raw talent. Work hard and you're a shoe in for that scholarship. And when you accept, I'll be here waiting to dance with you." He was young, but he saw talent in me. I felt… I don't know how to explain how I felt. Worthy? Talented? For the first time in my life, I was good at something and I knew it. I was going to work hard and do everything I could to be awarded one of only four scholarships they offered each year. It was the last happiness I would experience for a long time.

I turned my attention back to my mother who was still talking. "When you came home, you couldn't stop talking about the people you met and everything you learned. You said they practically assured that you'd be awarded a scholarship." She tilted her head to the side, deeply puzzled. "But when the letter came weeks later, you ripped it up. Why? It was plain as the nose on your face that your heart was set on going to that school and then suddenly you lost interest." She frowned. "Come to think of it, that's when you stopped eating, too. You wouldn't even leave the house. What happened that summer, Stephanie?"

I'd ripped up the letter offering me a scholarship right after Mason Treadwell shattered my life. After he hurt me, I could barely leave my room let alone the house. Luckily, my parents had already grounded me because of the tasty pastry incident with Morelli, so I had a reason to stay in. After a while, they noticed I'd stopped eating and then they got worried. If school hadn't started up again, forcing me to leave the house and carry on, I think they were getting ready to take me to the doctor.

I wanted to put my arms around her and tell her everything, but it was too late for that. Years and years too late. If I'd been stronger… if I'd told her what happened… but I didn't. I threw away my future as a dancer because I was a coward. To fill the loss, I got a degree in business marketing and married the first loser who turned my head. It's no wonder I've felt like a loser all my life. These realizations were coming too late, though. I couldn't go to Julliard now. Dancing would always remain an unattainable dream.

"Nothing happened Mom," I assured her as I leaned over, giving her a hug. "Dancing just wasn't meant to be."

She hugged me back a little tighter than usual as if she knew I needed an extra dose tonight. "I love you, Stephanie. You know that, right?"

I sniffed and tightened my hold. "I love you too, Mom."

She leaned back, drying the tears that I hadn't realized were falling. "I hope Joseph Morelli steps in dog poopy every day for the rest of his life." We laughed and I said my goodbyes.

The rest of the weekend was spent wrapping up loose ends. I had everything packed and loaded in Jeanne's Toyota Corolla when Hector, Mare, and Lester showed up at my apartment late Saturday afternoon with pizza. While we ate, we watched a movie and enjoyed each other's company. After Lester agreed to keep my secret, I told him that I was leaving for a while, but I didn't tell him where I was going. He was as sad as Mare and Hector had been when I told them, but he understood why I needed to go. I was going to miss my friends while I was gone.

Since I wanted to make it up the mountain in North Carolina before dark, I went to bed early Saturday night, hoping to get enough sleep to carry me through the ten hour drive the next day. At 3:00 am Sunday morning, I plugged the coordinates into the aftermarket GPS and took off heading south on 95, never once looking back.

TO BE CONTINUED IN THE PRICE OF SILENCE BOOK 2