ATTNETION READERS: Supernatural High is on hold indefinitely. I've never done it before and I hate putting stories on hold, but I have been struggling with that one. The chapters were taking a really long time to get up and that was causing delays for all the other stories. So, I opted to put that story on hold and start on We've Got to Learn to Live with these Ghosts.

Ch. 6 Apologies Mean Nothing When the Damage is Done

(CLARE)

I didn't sleep. Not a wink all night. Anytime I closed my eyes all I saw was Asher kissing me. I took a long shower, I watched some TV, I showered again, paced my room. It was like I couldn't keep still. If I was still or silent too long then I'd think about Asher, feel his lips on mine again. When I heard Mom and Glen start moving upstairs I went back to my room, but I couldn't lie down. I just kind of paced around my room until it seemed reasonable that I could be up. I got dressed, and spent a long time in the washroom trying to hide the dark circles under my eyes.

"You're up early Honey," Mom smiles when she sees me.

"Yeah, uh busy day," I reply.

"Me too, I have a meeting first thing this morning. I'll see you tonight," she says hugging me before she grabs her purse and coat.

I start to fix myself some coffee, but as I stir the coffee the kiss comes back. Everything he said, the way he looked at me, the feel of his lips, and how instantly disgusted and dirty I felt. My thoughts are broken when Eli comes in his arms full of papers.

"I got a dozen copies, I can't wait to show everyone," Eli grins putting the papers down on the kitchen island. He opens the paper and starts flipping through it, but the article isn't in there, I knew it wouldn't be. "Where is it? Why isn't the article here? What happened Clare?"

"I…I don't know Eli, we probably worked so late we missed the deadline. I'll talk to Asher at Co-op this morning and find out," I assure my boyfriend.

"Good," he smirks and leans in to kiss me. I sort of flinch away and he catches the corner of my mouth instead. Eli doesn't seem to notice though or he doesn't care. "Come on I'll drive you to school," Eli says.

"Actually, can you take me to The Interpreter? I'll get an early start on co-op and talk to Asher," I comment just as Jake comes downstairs.

"Hey Eli," Jake greets him.

"Hi Jake, I'm taking Clare to co-op," Eli tells him.

"How will you get to school?" Jake inquires.

"I can pick her up at lunch," Eli replies.

We say goodbye to Jake and go out to Eli's car, actually it's his Mom's car, but he's using it. Eli talks a lot about the play as he drives me to The Interpreter, I'm only half hearing him, I can't stop thinking about Asher's kiss last night. I can't help blaming myself for the article not being in today's paper, thinking that Asher destroyed the article after I ran out and away from the kiss.

"Thanks for the ride Eli," I say when he parks out front of The Interpreter building.

"I'll be back to pick you up at lunch," Eli grins. I start to get out of the car and Eli grabs my arm lightly, I stop and look back at him. "What about my kiss?"

I shudder slightly, not because Eli is requesting a kiss, rather because it evokes all the emotions of last night. I force a smile on my lips and briefly brush my lips to Eli's. When I pull my lips away he's smirking, I keep the grin on my lips until I'm out of the car. Walking into the building I start to shake, the thought of seeing Asher again makes my stomach turn. I wish Drew were here with me, walking in with me, at my side when I confront Asher. He's not though and I have to do this alone, I pull in a deep breath to steel my nerves as the elevator doors open. My fists clench as I come around the corner, the breath I've been holding since stepping out of the elevator releases when I see that Asher's office is empty.

I sit at my desk, there's factchecking to do and I get to work. Every time I see someone approaching I look up expecting Asher, but he doesn't come in all morning. When my shift is over Hilary signs my sheet and I email the factchecking to Asher. I see Eli in his Mom's car when I leave the building.

"So, did you find out why the article wasn't in the paper?" Eli asks.

"Asher wasn't there all morning. I'll ask him when I go back this afternoon with Drew, we're still working on that project," I reply.

Eli smirks and starts driving back to the school. We get back only a few minutes before the bell, but I'm not hungry anyway. Eli tries to kiss me before I go to my locker, but I turn my head and he gets my cheek instead. He doesn't seem to notice, just smirks and walks off. I start walking to my locker, but get pulled into an empty classroom instead.

"What did Asher say?" Drew asks.

"Nothing, I didn't see him all morning, he never came in. I'll talk to him when we go in this afternoon."

"At least, I'll be with you this afternoon," Drew comments.

I almost tell him I wish he had been with me this morning, but I bite my lip instead. Drew grins and opens the door, he peeks out before ushering me out of the classroom. He follows me out and we part ways, I go to my locker and then to my third period class.

"Eli said he picked you up, I was sure you hadn't eaten yet," Adam comments setting a smoothie on my desk.

"Thanks Adam," I grin.

English is pretty easy which is good because I keep going over in my head what to say to Asher this afternoon. I'm not entirely paying attention, but I get most of what Miss Dawes says. Fourth period physics is not so easy, and I'm still not paying attention.

"You alright? You seemed kind of spaced out in both classes," Adam remarks as we leave fourth period.

"Yeah just thinking about confronting Asher this afternoon," I tell Adam and he gives me a look, "about why the article wasn't in the paper," I recover quickly.

"Drew will be there with you, Asher gives you any trouble tell Drew," Adam comments.

"I will," I smile, "I'd better go meet Drew."

I wave to Adam and walk to the steps, Drew comes out a few minutes later. He grins at me and we walk to his car. We're silent on the whole drive, every so often he glances at me as though he were going to say something, but he doesn't. He parks in the garage, we get out and walk into the building, we stand very close in the elevator and I am very tempted to take his hand. When we step off the elevator and round the corner I seize a breath in my throat because Asher is in his office.

"You okay?" Drew asks putting a hand at my back.

"Yeah, I have to go talk to him."

"You want me to come with you?" Drew questions.

"No, I should do this alone. You go clock in and I'll meet you in the archives," I assure Drew.

"Okay, but if you're not down there in ten minutes I'm coming back," Drew asserts.

He comes with me to Asher's door and then continues on to clock in. I open the door to Asher's office and close it behind me.

"Asher about the ki…" I begin and he cuts me off.

"Can you ever forgive me? What I did was uncontainable and I immediately felt terrible. I don't even know what happened except that I was lost in the heat of the moment. You're so mature Clare, and brilliant, sharp, an exceptional writer," Asher compliments and I feel myself blush a little. "And, I don't think you realize how beautiful you are."

This last statement makes me feel all at once wonderful and sick. I sort of shake my head and bite my lip, unsure of what to say or even feel at the moment. Asher keeps talking, changing his demeanor to truly remorseful.

"I truly am sorry Clare I would hate to think that one moment where I wasn't thinking could ruin our relationship. I have no excuse really, except to say that I'm going through a terrible divorce," Asher explains.

"My parents got divorced last year, it seemed like the end of my world. I found out my father was having an affair, he walked out, and it was rough. We're all happier now though, my mom re-married to a great man. I'm sorry for running out last night, after I thought about it I knew the kiss had to be a mistake."

"One I am deeply sorry for. At my age I should know better but we were working so close last night and I forgot your age for just a moment. Or maybe hoped there was something in that moment, something we both felt but I overstepped my bounds and I'm truly sorry Clare. You were right to run out, you would have been right to slap me."

"It's totally forgotten about," I reply with a smile and a relieved breath.

"Thank you Clare, you really are mature and wise beyond your years," Asher grins wide. "Uh, you didn't tell anyone about the kiss did you?"

I shake my head, Asher smiles and I smile again, but before I can say anything Hillary comes in.

"Asher there's a press conference at city hall I need you to go cover it."

"On it," he replies standing up and putting on his coat. "Clare I know you're supposed to be helping Drew right now, but I could really use some help on this," Asher tells me.

"Drew will understand, after all my main responsibility is as your intern," I grin excited for the prospect of helping out at a press conference at city hall. "I'll go tell him now, I can meet you at the car in two minutes," I tell Asher.

"Hurry Newsie we gotta get down there," Asher says.

I nod and leave his office with Hillary, walking quickly down to the archives. Drew's at the table looking over things, but looks up when I come in.

"How'd it go?"

"It was all a mistake, he just lost his head for a moment. He apologized repeatedly, he feels terrible. I know I'm supposed to help you, but Asher needs my help covering a press conference at city hall."

"You're going to be alone with him after that?" Drew questions.

"I'm going to do my job Drew. I'll be fine, he didn't mean to kiss me."

"Just be careful, call me if you need a ride home," Drew says in an almost pleading tone.

"I will," I smile and then run to the parking garage and Asher's car. It's easy to find his car as he has his own parking spot. The kiss forgotten I'm excited to assist Asher. My heart beating fast with excitement I smile at Asher as I get in his car.

"Ready Newsie?"

"For anything," I reply with a big grin.

(DREW)

Clare leaves to go with Asher and leaves me with a sinking pit in my stomach. I wait a few minutes as though she were going to return, when she doesn't I get back to work. I try to focus on the job, it doesn't go very well, I do manage to work though. I keep expecting Clare to return, even staying a little after my shift to wait for her. She doesn't return and she doesn't answer when I text, so I return home.

I'm not hungry when I get home, I can't concentrate on homework either, but I watch TV with Dallas and Adam for a while. Not wanting to worry Adam I don't tell him about the kiss or that Clare's with Asher right now. Besides which Dallas knows nothing about any of it. Bianca calls a little after seven, I don't talk to her for very long, my mind is still on Clare, and the fact that I haven't heard from her. After hanging up with Bianca I tell Adam and Dallas that I'm going to shower. I get up to my room and take my shirt off, as I start to undress for the shower, when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and see Clare's picture flashing on it.

"Are you okay?" I answer.

"Not remotely, can you please come pick me up?"

"Of course, where are you?"

"City hall," she tells me on quivering breath. She's crying, I hear her sobbing, and my fists clench instinctively.

"I'm coming, just stay there," I tell her.

I hang up and get my shirt back on, I pull on a hoodie too, but don't bother to get on a coat. I run downstairs and out the front door, it's snowing again, I turn on the car and scrape the windows real quick. I want to speed to city hall, I don't though I drive carefully. I do call Clare back and find out exactly where she is at city hall. She's still in the parking lot, I pull into the spot next to her, she jumps up and straight into my arms. She's trembling, but not from the cold, she's sobbing hard. I wrap her in my arms, holding her tightly as she sobs.

"I'm taking you to my place to talk to my dad," I tell her. I know she wouldn't have been left in the parking lot and she wouldn't be like this if nothing had happened.

She doesn't say anything but she does nod against my chest. Keeping my arms around her I walk her to the passenger side and get her in the car. I go around to the driver's side and start driving home. I want to ask what happened, not sure that she could tell me at the moment however. After a few minutes of driving she begins to talk, she speaks quickly and it's a little hard to understand her between her sobs and labored breaths.

"I can't believe I listened to him. I wanted to believe so bad…" she says and then I can't understand her for a moment as she's crying too hard and her voice is too high pitched. After a couple deep breaths she becomes understandable again. "…I just kept thinking about Darcy, thinking I was going to get raped too."

I definitely heard that, and my jaw clenches tightly, my hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles begin to turn white. Clare is crying too hard to talk again, she's shaking too, but I know she's not cold. I'm not sure what to do, I want to go find Asher and beat his face in. I don't know if I should take Clare's hand or if she'd pull away, so I just let her cry. When I park outside of my house I go around helping Clare out of the car, putting my arm around her we start walking down to the basement.

I look her over, really look her over for the first time. Her coat has been ripped open because buttons popped off, her shirt is crooked, slightly twisted. Asher tried to rape her, I hope to hell he didn't succeed. I stop her before we go in and fix her shirt, can't do much about her coat. Putting a hand at her back I open the basement door, surprising my brother and Dallas.

"I thought you went to shower?" Dallas questions in confusion.

"Clare what happened?" Adam asks worried about her and not the fact that I didn't shower. Before she can answer he gets up and hugs her tightly.

"Asher did something," I inform him. Adam looks pissed, then looks at Clare sympathetically as he brings her to the sofa.

"Isn't Asher your co-op boss?" Dallas asks.

Clare nods and then tells them about Asher's kiss last night, at which point my brother's face gets red with rage. She tells them about me picking her up and swearing me to secrecy about the whole thing.

"When I saw him this afternoon he apologized, he seemed so sincere, so remorseful. I believed every word of it, maybe I just wanted to so badly. Even some of what he said made me a little uneasy, still I ignored it. All too eager to go with him, to keep my internship, to keep learning from him," she censures herself.

"What did he do tonight Clare?" I question just as Dallas brings her a glass of water.

"Everything was fine at first," she tells us after taking a few sips of water. She goes on to tell us that she was excited during the press conference, that everything was great, and she had this renewed energy and drive for being a journalist. They got back in his car and she was talking about how excited she was, how she wanted that life. She asked about the article and he showed her the article on his tablet that's going to be in Friday's paper. While she was looking at it thrilled to see her name there he caressed her cheek. She felt disgusted and when she asked what he was doing he told her that no one needed to know. She told him to stop, she tried to get out of the car and he grabbed at her clothes. She was sure she was going to be raped and barely managed to get out of the car. He grabbed her arm and told her if she cared about her career then she'd keep her mouth shut. Then he shoved her out of the car and she called me.

"I'm going to go get Mom and Dad, can you two stay with her?"

"Yeah, of course," Adam nods putting his arm around her.

"Clare do you need to call your mom?"

"I'll text Jake, tell him I'm at Alli's," she replies.

Dallas hand her purse to her as I go upstairs, Mom and Dad are in their room. When I left they were watching TV, they might be getting ready for bed, but they should still be up. I hear the TV going, so I knock on the door.

"Yes?" Mom calls.

"Can you both come down to the basement for a moment?"

"Everything alright Drew?" Mom asks.

"The three of us are fine, it's Clare. Her co-op boss has been sexually harassing her, he tried to attack her in his car tonight. I picked her up and brought her here, she's downstairs and she's very upset."

"Well, of course she is," Mom comments walking past me to go downstairs. Dad and I follow her down, Clare looks up when we all come down. "You poor thing," Mom says sitting on the other side of Clare and hugging her.

"Can you tell us what happened tonight Clare?" Dad asks her. She tells them again what happened, but she hasn't said anything about the kiss or his past behavior.

"He kissed her last night, he apologized today and she believed him. He's done other things too, just not as blatant," I inform my parents.

"I'll call Reggie Turner, arrange for Clare to give her statement to him in the morning. I can act as her council tomorrow and arrange for a lawyer from the office," Dad tells her.

"I'll call Helen an…"

"Please don't," Clare begs but with a sharp tone, "she doesn't know any of this, she doesn't take stuff like this calmly. I don't think I can handle her right now. I know nothing happened, but all I can think about is that it might have happened. That I might have been raped like my sister. I keep picturing what happened in his car tonight turning out so differently and I can't make it stop."

"Something did happen tonight Clare, you were harassed and attacked. You went through something traumatic and it's effecting your thinking," I tell her.

"Drew's right Honey, you went through something awful tonight. You're suffering the aftermath of that and that's why you can't stop thinking about the "what ifs". It will stop eventually," Mom assures her.

"I don't know if I'm even going to sleep tonight. Can I stay here tonight please? I already told Jake I was at Alli's, he'll tell my mom."

"You can sleep here tonight Honey, Omar will take you to meet Officer Turner in the morning," Mom says.

"You can take my bed, I'll sleep on the sofa down here," I offer.

"Change the sheets on your bed Drew," Mom orders.

"I'll help you change the sheets," Dallas says.

"I'm going to go call Reggie, make arrangements for the morning," Dad remarks.

"I'll find something for you to sleep in," Adam tells Clare.

Leaving Clare with Mom the rest of us go upstairs. Dad stays in the kitchen to call Dave's dad. Adam, Dallas and I go upstairs to the bedrooms. I get some clean sheets from the closet before going into my room with Dallas. While we strip my bed, get clean sheets on it and re-make the bed I tell Dallas some of the what Asher's done in the past. Not that any of it is as bad as kissing her or attempting to rape her in his car, but Dallas agrees some of the stuff Asher did and said was creepy.

"I can't believe Clare didn't think any of what he said or did was alarming, I thought she was smart," Dallas remarks tossing the last pillow back onto my bed.

"She is smart, she also idolized this guy, she probably didn't want to hear it or see it."

When we come out of my room Clare is just coming out of the washroom up here. She's wearing Adam's shirt and a pair of his cutoff sweats.

"Goodnight Clare," Dallas says smiling at her kind of awkwardly.

"Goodnight Dallas," she replies.

"The bed's all made for you. Adam is right next door and I'll be in the basement if you need anything," I tell Clare.

"Thanks Drew," she smiles. It's soft, barely a smile, kind of sad, but it still brings butterflies to my stomach. "Thanks for coming to get me again tonight, I don't know wh…" her sentence trails off and she starts to tremble slightly. I put my arm around her and bring her into my room setting her on the bed and sitting with her.

"You're safe here, Asher is gone," I assure her.

"I know, I keep replaying his apology in my mind, some of what he said made me uneasy. Nothing that was bad enough to make me run out the door. I should have listened to my instincts, I should have just run, I never should have believed him, I just wanted to keep my internship so badly."

"It's okay Clare, you're safe now. Do you think you can sleep?"

"No."

"Do you want to watch TV for a while?"

She nods and we leave my room, I tell Adam we're going to watch TV downstairs and he comes with us. We watch TV mostly in silence until after midnight, Clare doesn't look tired, but Adam falls asleep on the sofa.

"We should let him sleep, I'll sleep in his bed, I won't even need to change the sheets," I whisper to Clare and she nods. I cover my brother with a blanket then Clare and I walk quietly to the stairs.

"I don't think I can sleep, no matter what I do I can't stop thinking about Asher."

"Get comfy, I'll stay with you until you're asleep," I tell her.

"You will?" She asks as though she doesn't believe me.

"Yeah, come on get in bed," I insist holding up the covers so she can get in. She lies down and I tuck her in sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I shouldn't have listened to him, I shouldn't have taken his apology at his word. I should have just left the room. He complimented me on my writing and intelligence which made me feel good, and in the same breath told me how beautiful I am which made me feel good, but gross and dirty all at once. I still stayed and listened," she scolds herself.

"Don't think about it now, close your eyes and try and get some sleep."

"If I close my eyes I'll see Asher's face again."

"Okay, then I'll bore you to sleep. We'll start with my first football game."

I tell her a few sports stories and she's soon asleep. I leave my room quietly and go into Adam's room. I managed to comfort Clare and get her to sleep, but I'm having trouble sleeping. I think about what could have happened tonight, what could have happened last night when he kissed her. Eventually, I do get to sleep, but it's wrestles and full of bad dreams. I wake up to Adam shaking me and it feels like I just fell asleep.

"Clare's getting ready in the washroom. Dad said Turner is meeting Clare at the school in Suave's office. She wants to go home first and get ready, Mom offered her breakfast, but she's not hungry," Adam informs me.

"I'm not hungry either, I can take her home," I yawn as I sit up.

"I'm coming with you," Adam insists just as I knew he would.

I leave his room and we both get dressed, Dallas comes with us and we all drive to Clare's house. I don't see Glen's truck or her mom's car when we get there, Jake's truck is though. We all follow Clare inside, Jake is in the kitchen probably eating, but he comes over when we come in.

"What's going on? You don't look like you slept very much," Jake remarks looking at Clare.

"I didn't, I need to go change," Clare says before going upstairs. While Clare is upstairs changing we fill Jake in on everything.

"That bastard! Screw school I'm going to go kill him," Jake growls.

"Not before I do," I speak up.

"I think the whole hockey team should go beat this guy," Dallas volunteers for the Ice Hounds.

"I want to hurt this guy too, but if you go beat him up then you'll get arrested. Clare will press charges and right now that's the best way we can hurt him," Adam advises. Leave it to my brother to be the voice of reason.

Clare comes down ready to leave, Jake hugs her and says he'll see her at school. We get back in my car and I drive us to school, we pull in next to Bianca. She gets out of her car and sees Clare getting out of mine.

"You barely talk to me last night and I find you pulling up with Clare," Bianca smiles with a joking tone. "What's going on?" Bianca questions after seeing all of our faces.

"Her co-op boss kissed her and then tried attack her in his car last night," Adam informs Bianca.

"Fuck, that fucking asshole," Bianca snarls.

"There's my dad and Officer Turner, you need to give your statement," I tell Clare.

All of us walk over to Dad and Turner, and we walk in to school together. A lot of kids see us come in with my dad and Turner, they start whispering though currently no one can tell which one of us they're here for.

"What's going on?" Eli asks coming over.

Clare looks at him, looks away and shakes her head.

"I'll fill him in, we'll see you later Clare," Adam says and hugs her before taking Eli's arm pulling him away.

"Do you want us to wait for you?" I ask Clare.

"No, this might take a while and the rest of you need to get to class. I'll be okay," she says.

"I'll take care of her son," Dad assures me.

"Thanks for everything Drew," Clare smiles. It's a beautiful, appreciative, smile and it lights her face, and sends those butterflies right back to my stomach.

I smile back and hug her before she walks off with my Dad and Turner. Dallas, Bianca and I turn to get to our lockers, when Dallas sees some of the other Ice hounds he goes to them.

"So what happened exactly? How long has her boss been harassing her?" Bianca questions now that we're alone.

I take a deep breath and lean against the bank of lockers, "Long enough that I should have done something sooner."

Update soon picking up from about here, and possibly including Clare's birthday. Next story to be updated is Alone on a School Night.