Be sure to check out the new stories Why Do I Want Him Still and We've Got to Learn to Live with these Ghosts.
Ch. 7 Better Things Are All Uphill
(CLARE)
"We'll begin an investigation, I'll have to speak with Asher, his boss and past interns. Cases like this usually boil down to he said, she said. There aren't generally witnesses and there may not be enough to get to a trial," Officer Turner explains to me.
I've been in Miss Sauvé's office with her, Officer Turner, Omar and Miss Oh for over two hours. Telling them everything from the moment I began my internship with Asher. Every single detail, and saying it all out loud some things I thought were innocent before now seem to be calculated moves on his part. All the things I wasn't worried about, that I thought were Asher going beyond his duty, now they seem like screaming sirens that something was wrong. I scold myself for not listening to Drew, Eli and my friends when they seemed worried about them. I ignored them, I didn't want to see the signs and I led myself right into Asher's trap.
"Dana Fairchild from my office will be your council. She'll come to the house to meet you tonight," Omar tells me and I nod.
"Miss Oh and I will talk about finding you another placement. You could be on independent study if you prefer?" Miss Sauvé offers.
"I'd like another placement, I think," I reply.
"We'll find you something," Miss Oh tells me.
"I'm recommending a weekly session, maybe twice a week. And, we'll have to inform your mother," Miss Sauvé says.
"My mom will freak; she's not going to take this well. I don't want to be there when she finds out."
"We can ask her to come in this afternoon and speak to her ourselves," Miss Sauvé assures me.
"I'll need to get Drew's statement; do you want to be present for that?" Officer Turner asks Omar.
"Yeah, we'll have to pull him out of class," Omar nods.
"Clare you can study in the library until the lunch bell," Miss Oh tells me.
I nod in response, grabbing my purse from its place at my feet and leave Miss Sauvé's office with Miss Oh. She goes to the office to get Drew's classroom, so she can pull him from class. I go into the girl's washroom to splash some water on my face and clean up a bit, I cried a lot. Rather than go to the library I go to the bench under the front stairs. There's nothing for me to do in the library, I have no homework yet and nothing to do this period. I just sit there looking at sexual harassment laws on my phone. The bell rings for lunch, but I don't move, I'm reading a law when someone sits down next to me and I look up to see Drew.
"Dad said you were meeting the lawyer at our place tonight," Drew comments.
"Yeah, my mom is finding out tonight too, I don't want to be around when she does. Miss Sauvé and Miss Oh said they would tell her. Officer Turner is investigating, I won't be going back to co-op obviously, guess I won't be helping you with the project," I say apologetically.
"I can do the project; I'm sure Martin will assign someone to help me if needed. Are they assigning you a new co-op?"
"Yeah, they're going to see about a new placement. If I don't get one, or don't get one I feel comfortable with I'll probably be on independent study."
"You okay?" Drew asks.
"I honestly don't know," I sigh.
"Come on, the lunch bell is going to ring soon," Drew says taking my arm and pulling me to stand.
"Drew, what if Asher gets away with it? I was the only one around when he kissed me and tried to assault me in his car. What if everyone else believes whatever lies I'm sure Asher will tell? Even I believed them when he apologized to me after the kiss," I lament. I start to sink down again as tears crowd my eyes, but then I put my head on Drew's chest.
"You wanted to believe him to keep your internship. Not everyone will believe Asher, my parents don't, neither does Adam or Officer Turner right?" Drew asks. He pulls me away from him just a bit to tip my chin up so I'll look in his eye. "Whatever happens I won't let Asher get away with this, I promise you Clare," Drew tells me in a kind and yet determined tone. He's smiling at me softly and he wipes the tears from my eyes just as the bell rings.
"Thanks Drew," I grin sniffling in the rest of my tears. "I'm going to go find Adam and Eli to have lunch," I say then put my hand on Drew's shoulder. Standing on my tiptoes I kiss his cheek and walk towards Adam's second period musicclass.
"How'd it go?" Adam asks when he sees me.
"Okay, I guess," I shrug. Adam doesn't respond, but he does hug me tightly. "How'd Eli take it?" I question.
"I'm not sure, he didn't really say anything. He was pretty stoic actually, but his fists were clenched," Adam responds. I sigh and lean against Adam, after an emotionally draining morning and what I was able to look up on sexual harassment laws I'm feeling pretty deflated. "Are you hungry?"
"No," I shake my head.
"You need to eat Clare; you didn't eat breakfast either. Come on, I'll buy you a smoothie from The Dot, a cookie even, but you need to eat."
I nod and we walk slowly to The Dot, Adam buys me a smoothie and a cookie, gets lunch for himself and we sit down. Just as we sit down and I take a sip of my smoothie Eli comes in.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Eli asks.
"I didn't tell anyone Eli, not at first. I didn't even think anything was wrong until he kissed me," I respond barely above a whisper and without looking at Eli.
"You told Drew, called him to pick you up," Eli says. I glower at him and then look away.
"Eli," Adam admonishes.
"I'm not jealous," Eli defends, "I'm just wondering why Drew found out before either of us."
"Because I called him to pick me up both times," I shrug.
"Yeah, but why him and not me?" Eli inquires. His tone manages to somehow be wounded and jealous all at once.
"Because I was worried how you'd react," I confess.
"You thought I'd lose it?" Eli questions and I nod.
"You've been doing so well, and I didn't want to be the reason you slipped. After Asher kissed me I convinced myself it was a mistake. That no one ever needed to know because it was some horrible mistake. I told Drew because he picked me up and saw how upset I was, but I was never going to tell anyone. I wanted the moment to just have never happened," I tell them.
"But even if you never told anyone Clare the moment would have happened. It would have continued effecting you, and probably been all the worse for you. A secret eating away at you because you had no one to talk to about it. Even if you only ever told Drew, don't you think that me and Eli, and your other friends would start to notice how it was eating you. We'd start wondering what you were keeping from us," Adam tells me.
I bite my lip and nod, all I can think is how Darcy started breaking down and unraveling when trying to keep her secret. The boys are quiet for a moment and Eli takes my hand under the table, I squeeze it back, fighting back the tears that are threatening to break free.
"What about your co-op? You're not going back are you?" Adam inquires.
"Miss Oh and Miss Sauvé are going to see about getting me another placement. They may not be able to though, or I may not like what they find. In that case I'll be on independent study for the rest of the semester. It's too late to transfer into a different class."
"What did my dad and Officer Turner say?" Adam queries.
"I'm going to meet my lawyer at your place tonight. Officer Turner is opening an investigation, but he said it usually boils down to he said/she said without other witnesses. Asher may still get away with this; the paper could protect him. I looked up sexual harassment laws, they are very stringent, nearly anything can be construed as harassment. However, proving the harassment or the harasser getting any kind of real punishment seems to be nearly impossible."
"He won't get away with it Clare, we won't let him," Adam assures me.
"What about your parents? When are you going to tell them?" Eli inquires. I cringe at the thought of either of my parents ever finding out, though I know I can't hide it from them.
"Miss Oh and Miss Sauvé will tell my mom after school. I don't want to; I don't even want to be here when they tell her. I barely talk to my dad or see him, so I have no idea when he'll find out."
"If you're meeting the lawyer at our place anyway why don't you come over after school? You can stay for dinner, your mom can come after she talks to Miss Sauvé and Miss Oh, but you won't have to talk with her alone. Mom would probably let you stay the night again," Adam offers, "I'm sure Eli will let me out of rehearsal this afternoon?"
"Of course," Eli replies.
I smile at my boyfriend and my best friend, we stay at The Dot until we absolutely have to start back to school. I do drink the smoothie and eat all of the cookie, food doesn't make me feel any better though. Eli parts from us when we walk into school, he's going to his locker and we're going to ours.
"We heard something happened with your co-op," Alli comments coming over with Jenna, K.C. and Dave.
"Yeah, her co-op boss was sexually harassing her," Adam informs them.
"What? Clare that's awful," Alli exclaims.
"Is that why my dad was at school this morning?" Dave asks and I nod.
"You know we're here if you need us," Alli tells me.
"I know, thanks guys," I smile at my friends.
I'm really not sure what happened in the rest of my classes that afternoon. I wasn't paying attention, my mind was thinking about last night and all that's happened, all that could still happen. Just before Adam and I leave school Miss Sauvé catches me.
"Clare, Caitlin Ryan has offered you a co-op position on her show. It's still in the journalism field, and…"
"No that's perfect, Caitlin is a great reporter," I grin.
"Wonderful, you can start tomorrow morning," Miss Sauvé says.
"See, things are looking up already," Adam smiles.
I nod and smile at my friend, when we get down the steps Audra is waiting, Adam must have texted her at some point. Audra says I can stay again if I'd like to, and that Mom knows to come to the house after she meets with Miss Oh and Miss Sauvé. I'm dreading her reaction, I'm sure I'm amplifying the possibilities in my head, but I'm dreading my mom finding out and having to face her afterward.
(DREW)
As soon as the elevator door open and I step into the Interpreter offices I can feel everyone watching me. I can almost hear them whispering, I wonder if Officer Turner was in and who he spoke to. I look ahead, ignoring everyone, I'll just go straight to my desk to clock in and go down to the archive room. Asher comes to his doorway and glares at me.
"She's lying you know. This investigation won't go anywhere and her career will be over before it began," Asher whispers to me. I clench my fist, ready to hit him, I've wanted to for weeks and it's so tempting.
"Drew," Martin calls to me. He walks over and puts a hand at my back, "Come on Son we have lots of work to do."
"He assaulted my friend and he's acting like she's the bad person," I growl as I follow Martin back to his office.
"The fact that he's so defensive says something about his guilt. How's Clare doing?"
"I don't know; she's worried he'll get away with it. She's not coming back obviously."
"I know, and the rest of us will help you when we can, but the anniversary projectwill be your main duty until it's finished. And, now you're on it alone, if it gets to be too much let me know and I'll get some more help for you," Martin tells me.
"I should be able to do it, I can put in some over time, come in on weekends."
"That's a good attitude Drew. Go ahead and clock in, I've kept you in here a few minutes, so I'll adjust your time. Tell Clare I said hi when you see her, let her know I am not taking Asher's side, not all of us here believe he's innocent, even if we haven't witnessed him doing anything."
"I will, thanks Martin," I grin.
I clock in and go down to the archive room without looking at Asher or anyone else. For the first few minutes I sit in the archive room angry at Asher, eventually I calm down and concentrate on what needs to be done. Before I know it my shift is over and it's time to go home. When I get home Mom is just getting dinner on the table, Clare is here and so is Helen, she's looking at her daughter like she's a wounded deer.
"Hi Honey, wash up and take a seat, Helen and Clare are joining us for dinner," Mom tells me.
Just as I'm washing up there's a knock at the door, Dad answers the door. A woman comes in I recognize from his work, she must be Clare's lawyer. Dallas isn't here, but considering everyone else around the table right now that might be for the best.
"Dana this is Clare, and her mother Helen," Dad introduces them.
"It's nice to meet you Clare, I'll be your council even if it never goes to trial," Dana says shaking their hands before we all sit down. Clare seems to intentionally seat herself between me and Adam, and far away from her mother.
"Shouldn't we choose our lawyer? No offense, Dana is it?" Helen asks and Dana nods. "We know nothing about you, or your fees," Helen remarks and Clare cringes.
"I'm happy to give you my qualifications, and this will be pro bono. A favor to Omar," Dana informs Helen.
"Oh," Helen says though she doesn't sound apologetic at all, "that's nice of you."
"I specialize in sexual harassment cases," Dana says.
"Clare, how could not tell me your boss was sexually harassing you?" Helen questions. Though she sounds less concerned than accusatory.
"I didn't think he was, I didn't see it until it was too late, and even then I didn't want to believe it," Clare tells her mom. Clare hasn't eaten a bite and she's beginning to tear up. I reach over and take her hand, I didn't even think about doing it I just wanted to comfort her somehow.
"That's very common Clare, no one wants to believe they will be violated that way. Especially by someone they admire, someone with a position of power over them. Unfortunately, even with all the laws in place proving harassment is harder. There's almost never any hard evidence, but don't think it's hopeless. Even without evidence or witnesses we may still be able to prove a behavioral pattern. I'll contact past interns and even family members to interview them," Dana tells her.
"This will go public won't it?" Helen inquires.
"Mother! Is that all you're worried about?"
"Of course not Honey, I just want to know what to be prepared for."
"There's always a possibility of cases such as this going public. Asher is a fairly prominent reporter, other reporters may pick up on the story and expose it. They may want to interview Clare, but I advise you not to speak to any of them it may jeopardize the criminal case. I'll be in touch with you Clare, and though I have your statement from earlier today I will need to interview you myself. We can meet Monday evening if that's alright with you?" Dana asks Clare.
"Alone?" Clare asks after glancing at her mom.
"If that's what you'd prefer," Dana replies, and Clare nods.
"Clare, don't you think I should be in there with you?"
"No, I want to meet with my lawyer alone," she replies.
"As Clare's guardian you'll be apprised of the case, however it is Clare's choice to meet with me on her own," Dana informs Helen.
"Clare we should talk about this more at home," Helen tells her daughter.
Clare seems to be barely holding it together, and all Helen seems to care about is control. Or maybe just wanting to know everything, which I kind of understand but at the same time it's really irritating me. Clare's been through a lot these last couple of days and rather than trying to comfort her daughter Helen seems set on trying to control the situation or just make sure no one else knows about what happened.
"No, I don't want to talk about it any more. I've talked about it enough today, and I'm staying the night here," Clare says firmly. After making the statement Clare looks at my mom to ask if it's okay that she spend the night.
"Yes, you can sleep here tonight Clare," Mom smiles.
"If either of you need to talk or have any questions you can call me," Dana says handing them both her card.
"I'll also be able to answer questions about the legal proceedings and how things will work. These things take a lot of time, it won't be a fast resolution. There's investigation, meetings, depositions and pre trial dates if it even gets that far," Dad informs them.
"Drew I'll need to speak with you as well, we'll set up a time next week for you to come to the office when your dad can be present," Dana says to me and I nod.
Clare hasn't touched her food, though she mostly looks sick and not hungry. Helen is eating though she looks angry, Dad and Dana are now talking about a good time for me to come in and speak with her.
"If you're going to stay the night here then you should come home with me to pack a bag," Helen asserts when she's finished eating. Clare tenses up at the thought of riding home with her mom. I don't really blame her the way Helen has been acting today.
"We'll take her, that way you don't have to drive back to drop her off and then drive home again," I speak up. Clare is still holding my hand under the table and she squeezes my hand grateful that I spoke up.
"Why don't you kids go do that now," Mom says.
"I'll leave too, thank you for dinner Audra, thank you Dana for being Clare's council and Omar for arranging it," Helen comments.
"Let's go," I whisper to Clare finally releasing her hand.
Clare, Adam and I get up from the table, grab our coats and I grab my keys. We go out to my car with Helen following us out. Adam lets Clare have the front seat and I drive us to Clare's house.
"Clare, Honey y…" Helen begins as soon as we're out of the car.
"Mom, I can't talk about it anymore, not today. I'm going to pack a bag and then I'm returning with Adam and Drew to their house," Clare informs her mother before marching into her house to pack a bag.
Adam and I follow her upstairs, Jake comes out of his room just as Clare goes into hers. We all follow Clare into her room and I close the door behind us.
"How'd it go?" Jake asks.
"She didn't explode, but she's driving me nuts," Clare replies.
"My dad arranged for a lawyer and Helen was worried about the cost, then worried about the story getting out, and that Clare didn't tell her. I'm not sure she was worried about Clare at all," Adam says.
"Sounds about right," Jake sighs. "Still planning to have your birthday party tomorrow?" Jake questions.
"Yeah, seven at Adam's," Clare nods.
"I'm sleeping at Adam's again, Mom knows and I don't want to talk to her right now. Does Glen know any of this?" Clare asks Jake.
"I told him what I knew. What did the lawyer say?" Jake inquires.
While Clare packs a bag, Adam and I tell Jake everything Dana or Dad said at dinner. I also tell them what Asher said to me at work this afternoon. When Clare hears this she looks guilty and apologetic.
"I almost hit him, but Martin stopped me. Martin told me to tell you hi for him and that he's not taking Asher's side," I inform her.
"Tell him thanks," Clare smiles as she zips up her bag. She packed enough for two nights, since her party is at our house tomorrow she'll probably stay the night again.
Clare hugs Jake, I grab her bag and we leave her house without Clare having to see her mom again. We drive home in silence, go in through the basement and Dallas is home now. He says hi, but not much else. Adam turns on the TV, I go upstairs and grab my backpack, and let my parents know that we're home. I still have homework, so does Dallas, but Clare and Adam are done.
We stay in the basement for a while, Dallas and I finish our homework and Clare eventually eats something. Since the sheets on my bed have already been changed Clare will sleep there. I get pillows and blankets to sleep on the sofa down here. I'm restless, having trouble getting to sleep and when I hear a noise in the kitchen I go upstairs. I find Clare sitting on the sofa in the dark.
"Clare? What are you doing down here?" I inquire.
"I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about Darcy, about what she went through. At the time I could never understand why she unraveled the way she did. Now I don't understand how she held it together at all. Asher didn't even rape me, he barely touched me and all I want to do is scream every time I think about him. Thinking about him makes my skin crawl, I don't feel like I'll ever be clean again, no matter how many showers I take."
"Asher may not have raped you, but he still harassed you and up to that point you had admired and respected him. Darcy was raped by someone she didn't know, Asher abused his power and position to take advantage of you. That kind of betrayal cuts deep. He may not have raped you, but the whole thing was still traumatic. You can't compare what you went through with what Darcy went through. It was different circumstances, and both were traumas, you'll be feeling the effects of this for a long time. I would know," I comment fighting back memories of Vince's beating.
"The beating," Clare says and I nod. "I keep thinking about what happened to the family after Darcy's rape. How exhaustively and meticulously Mom tried to keep Darcy's rape and subsequent breakdown a secret. How Dad drifted, and how I was kept in the dark."
"That won't happen this time Clare, you won't be kept in the dark about anything. We'll keep Jake informed too, unless there's something you really don't want us to tell him."
"No, he should know, it's better if he knows. I don't want him to feel pushed aside and left in the dark like I did. I don't want him and Glen to leave, I like Glen and my mom is finally really happy. She's not good in a crisis though, she never has been. She tries in her own way, but she gets so wrapped up in people finding out and what they'll think of us that she doesn't think. She doesn't consider how anyone else feels or how any of it is affecting any of us. You saw her at dinner tonight," Clare says.
"My parents can keep your mom and Glen informed of everything. I'll ask them to meet with your parents tomorrow night during your party. Talk to them about how to handle things. If you're worried about Glen leaving then talk to him, prepare him for how your mom might react. I can be there with you if you want?"
"That's a good idea, thanks Drew. I'd like for you to be there with me, I'll ask Jake to be too. It's also a good idea for your parents to talk to mine. You're coming to my party tomorrow night aren't you?" She asks in a hopeful tone. The hope in her voice at the thought of me being at her party makes me grin. When I grin she smiles back, that soft, gentle, beautiful smile that fills my stomach with butterflies and gets my heart pounding.
"Yeah, I'll be there."
"Good."
"You know, it's after midnight now which means it's officially your birthday. Happy birthday Clare," I smile kissing her cheek.
"Thanks Drew," she says and her smile widens just a bit. I know it's probably because I wished her happy birthday, but I want to believe that it's because I kissed her cheek.
"Come on we should get back to bed," I tell her and we stand up.
"I can't sleep remember?" She remarks.
"I got you to sleep last time, pretty sure I can do it again. I got lots of sports stories I'm sure will put you right to sleep," I comment taking her hand.
We go back to my room, she lies in the bed under the covers. I lie on top of the bed and pull my Raptors throw blanket over me. I start talking about basketball and Clare is soon asleep, guess I fell asleep too because I wake up to the sound of my parents in the hallway. Clare stirs in the bed, but doesn't wake up. I carefully get off the bed and go to the dresser grabbing some clothes. I open my bedroom door just as my brother is about to knock, and he gives me a look for coming out the room in just pajama bottoms.
"Just getting some clothes," I tell him.
He sees the clothes in my arms and lets me pass, though he still doesn't look happy. I go into the washroom to get ready while Adam goes to my bed to wake up Clare. I get ready and go down to the kitchen, my parents are both down here. I grab a bagel from the cupboard and start toasting it, then look at my parents.
"If you guys didn't have any real plans tonight, besides dinner I mean, could you meet with Helen and Glen? Clare's worried about how her mom will handle things, how far she'll go to keep everything a secret. I was hoping you could talk to Helen and Glen, keep them apprised of everything and tell them what to expect, maybe how to be there for Clare?"
"I'll call Helen and ask them to meet us for dinner tonight. We'll stay out for the party, but everyone out by midnight, Clare can sleep here again if she'd like," Mom says.
"I'll make sure everyone's out by midnight," I tell my parents.
Dallas comes up to eat, and a few minutes later my brother comes downstairs to eat. Clare is the last one down and everyone wishes her a happy birthday. Dallas won't be at her party tonight, he's not really friends with Clare and doesn't know her very well. He has a game tonight and he's going out with some guys from the team after, whether they win or lose.
When the four of us are ready I drive us to school. Most of the Ice Hounds are in the foyer so Dallas leaves us to go to them. Adam and Clare leave to go to their lockers and I go to mine, Owen sees me and comes over.
"I heard Clare lost her internship, was it her boss? Was he a creep like you thought?"
"More than I thought, Dallas didn't tell you anything?" I ask and Owen shakes his head. "Asher kissed her, he apologized, she believed him because she wanted to. Instead of working on the project with me she went with him, he tried to rape her in his car," I tell Owen in a low voice.
"Tried? So, she's okay then?"
"He didn't rape her, but she's pretty far from okay and her mom isn't helping."
"Why?"
"Her mom sucks in a crisis. Clare told me how things broke down after Darcy's rape, now she's worried it's going to happen again."
"Wh…" Owen begins but gets interrupted by Bianca.
"Hey Babe," she smiles kissing me before looking at Owen, "Hey Owen."
"Hey," he nods to her.
"Clare's party is at seven right?" Bianca asks me, I nod. "I was thinking we should meet when you're done with work and pick her up a present. We won't have a lot of time, but we'll have some and we can meet downtown."
"Good idea."
Update soon will pick up with Clare meeting Caitlin and include her party. It will also likely include her speaking to Glen and Jake. Next to be updated is Alone on a School Night.