I actually got this chapter up faster than I was expecting to. Next week at my day job (if I didn't have to have the job I wouldn't) will be crazy! I have no idea how much time or energy I will have to write or when the next chapter will go up.

Ch. 10 All the things You Long to Hear

(CLARE)

"What happened?" Eli asks rushing over to me. He takes me in his arms, holding me the way Drew had been a few seconds ago. It's always comforting and nice to be in my boyfriend's arms, yet I long to be back in Drew's.

"Asher accosted her outside the house. I got most of it on video, and called the cops. Clare pressed charges, he'll be arrested. He was waiting for her here, I'm glad I was here, he was pissed," Adam explains.

"Me too, I wish I'd been here though, I would have killed him," Eli says holding me a little tighter.

"Adam was here, he was ready to stab Asher with the gardening trowel if necessary," I assure Eli.

Eli grins at Adam and then looks back at me stroking my hair, "Why don't you come to my house, I'll bring you back by curfew."

"Okay," I nod.

"We should get home anyway, I'll call you tomorrow Clare," Adam says.

"Or call…us if you need anything," Drew adds. He hesitated briefly because I know he wanted to say to call him, but with Eli here he didn't.

"Thanks, both of you," I smile getting out of my boyfriend's arms to hug the brothers. I don't care what Eli thinks, Drew has been helpful and supportive. He didn't need to rush over here, but he did and I'm going to hug him to express my appreciation.

The four of us walk out together, Adam and Drew waving as they get into his car. Eli has his mom's car; he opens the passenger door for me before going around to the driver's side.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there; I'm glad Adam was there with you. He's the only one I trust to protect you as I would," Eli remarks taking my hand to interlace our fingers.

I open my mouth to respond, my very first thought being that Drew would have protected me too. I close my mouth again however; I know that making this argument will lead to a bigger one. I also know that Eli is wrong, that just about any of my friends would not have just stood by and watched Asher accost me. I keep silent though, I don't feel like arguing.

When we get to Eli's house we say a brief hello to his parents, and go up to his room. Eli puts on a movie, a light comedy, and we lie on his bed. He wraps me in his arms, I feel safe, protected even, but something is missing, the way he's holding me feels more possessive than comforting. It starts to feel constricting and after about ten minutes I ask for something to drink. When he returns I'm sitting up, he hands the water and sits next to me. He can't hold me like he was, but keeps his arm around me for the whole movie. I like being with Eli, and yet in the back of my mind I wish Drew was here.

Eli and I eat dinner with his parents, but he doesn't tell them about Asher. We return to his room to watch another movie, another comedy, but I'm not really paying attention. I'm not laughing at any of the funny parts and Eli notices.

"I can put on something else," he offers.

"No, it's not the movie, my mind is just somewhere else. Actually, would you mind taking me home? I'm kind of tired and I'd like to shower before I got bed," I request. I'm not really tired, I just don't feel like Eli's company right now.

"You should sleep here; we'll just sleep I promise. After Asher showed up at your house today I'm sure your mom will let you. What if he comes back? If you're here, then I can protect you."

"I pressed charges Eli, he's going to be arrested. If Asher does come back, then my parents are home and so is Jake. Anyway, after what happened I really want to go home and sleep in my own bed. I just have a lot on my mind right now," I try to reason with my boyfriend.

"Jake won't protect you, not like I will. Stay here, even if Asher finds you here we have guns."

I'm not even sure how to respond to this, he just said he'd shoot Asher on sight. When I don't answer Eli continues his argument.

"Asher was there waiting for you; he's stalking you now. He could just be waiting for you to come back alone, and it's getting dark. I don't trust at all that your family will protect you like I would. No one could protect you like I will, no one else loves you the way that I do," Eli says holding my arm tightly, his eyes locked onto mine and narrowed into slits. This is all starting to sound familiar, he's sounding a lot like he did last year when Fitz came back. "Adam will, he'll protect you for me, but no one else. No one else, no o…"

"ELI," I say sharply cutting him off, "if you don't want to take me then I'll call Jake and have him pick me up."

His eyes narrow even more, into these suspicious green slits, his mouth going into one thin line. For a moment I hold my breath, until Eli exhales and releases my arm. His face relaxes, he even smiles softly. Once again I'm reminded of old behavior and I shiver inadvertently.

"No, I'll take you, but I still think you should stay the night here."

"Asher won't come back to the house, and if he does my family will be home. They will protect me, and I will call the cops right away if I do see Asher. I've never slept over Eli, and I don't really want my first night sleeping over to be after what happened today."

"You're right, at least about the sleeping over. I still think you'll be safer here, but let's get you home," he says sliding off his bed. I grab my purse and slip my shoes back on, Eli tells his mom he's taking me home and he needs her car. "Are you really ready to stay over? Did you mean it when you said you wanted to sleep at my house, on a night when you haven't been accosted by your former boss?"

"Yes, of course Eli. Another night, after a date or something, when I don't have so much on my mind. A night when I'm not thinking about everything that Asher did to me," I tell him. Even as the words come from my mouth I'm not sure that I mean them. I'm saying it to assuage Eli, and because I don't have the energy for a fight right now.

It's not that I'm necessarily opposed to sleeping at my boyfriend's place, or even what it might lead to. I'm just not sure I want to stay the night with Eli, that I want to be with him. When I think about staying the night at a boy's house to be with him, Drew is always the first one to my mind. Which of course I'm not about to tell Eli, or Drew for that matter. I wonder how long I can continue to avoid sleeping at Eli's? How long will the Asher excuse work?

"Do you want me to come in?" He asks as he parks in front of my house.

"No, better not, pretty sure my mom will freak out for a bit, I don't think you want to be around for that."

"Good point, I'll call you tomorrow," he says leaning over to give me a quick kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too," I smile and get out of the car.

It's not until I get out of the car and am walking to my front door alone that I feel exposed. This where Asher ambushed me a few hours ago, and now Adam isn't with me. Eli is still watching me from his car though, I didn't want him to come in, but he could have at least walked me to the door. I can't help but think that Drew would have walked me to the door.

Asher isn't around, I make it to my door and start to unlock it as I turn and wave to Eli. I don't even get the key in all the way before the door opens and mom brings me into a tight embrace. She manages to walk backwards a few steps and lock the door without ever really letting go of me.

"What nerve that…that man has, attacking you in our front yard. He must have been stalking you, I'll call your lawyer tomorrow and have him prosecuted for stalking. I'll have him arrested a…"

"Helen," Glen interrupts her, "take a breath. Let go of Clare so she can breathe."

I smile at my stepfather as my mom reluctantly releases me. "Adam got it on video Mom, Asher will be arrested. I'm tired and I'd like to take a shower and get to bed," I tell them, not wanting to discuss this any further with my mom.

"Of course Honey, you just let us know if you need anything," Mom says.

"She's been like that since they got home," Jake whispers as he follows me up the stairs.

"I knew she would be, that's why I didn't want her home right after it happened."

"Are you okay? Should I sleep on your floor with a knife just in case," Jake offers with a slight sarcastic edge laced in his tone.

"No," I laugh, "I'd be more worried about you accidentally hurting yourself or me. I'll be okay, it was scary, but Adam was there. I don't like that Asher followed me home, but I am glad Adam got it on video, that's undeniable proof."

Jake hugs me and goes into his room, I go into my room setting down my purse and taking off my shoes. I grab my bathrobe hanging on the back of my door as I go out to the washroom. Shutting and locking the door behind me, switching on the fan and then the water. I turn the handle to just the right point for the water to start heating up and then I start to undress. Adjusting the temperature to just right before I step in, closing my eyes as I stick my head under the water. I use my hands to run over my hair with the water, my mind clearing as the warm water starts to soothe me.

The very first thought to pop into my clear head: Drew!

(DREW)

"Everything okay?" Adam asks coming into my room cautiously. "Bianca doesn't generally leave your room that fast, especially when Mom and Dad are gone."

"We broke up; I guess it's been coming for a while. Apparently, she likes Dallas," I tell my brother.

"I don't think she broke up with you because she suddenly decided she likes Dallas. I think your breakup had more to do with the fact that you have feelings for Clare," Adam states.

"How'd you know? I haven't been calling out her name in my sleep or something have I?"

"No," he laughs, "but you have been spending a lot of time together. Lately, it seems like you've been finding excuses to spend time together. She calls you almost every night and you stay on the phone for a long time. When Asher attacked her I knew I should call you, both for you and for her. I'm pretty sure Clare has the same feelings for you, and now you're single. Will it be weird for you to see Bianca and Dallas together?"

"At first maybe, but I haven't cared for Bianca in the same way in a long time. I spent a long time convincing myself that I was in love with Bianca still, I wasn't. I was scared that Clare didn't feel the same way about me, that she and I were barely friends, and she loved Eli, so I kept telling myself I was still in love with Bianca."

"You didn't think Clare calling you when she couldn't sleep, calling you after Asher's kiss and attack meant anything?"

"I don't know, I hoped it did, then again she was still with Eli, so I told myself it's because I worked there. Or because she was afraid of how Eli would react, because I saw Asher's behavior," I shrug.

"You always were good at making excuses. She could have called me, or Jake, or Alli, or Dave if it was only because she didn't know how Eli would react. She called you because she wanted you."

"Then why is she still dating Eli?"

"Their relationship has always been complicated, Eli's emotions and moods can be erratic. I'm certain she has feelings for you too, but that doesn't mean she just stopped loving Eli."

"Great, so the only thing standing between me and Clare being together is your other best friend."

"No, the only thing standing between you and Clare is you two talking about how you feel. I doubt Eli's going to be thrilled, but if he really cares about her and she wants to be with you then he has to let her go. It shouldn't affect my friendship with him, and hopefully not their friendship either, but you do need to talk to her. If you don't tell Clare how you feel and that you want to be with her then you can't blame Eli for sanding in your way."

"You're right, as usual, I'll talk to her. Not tonight though, she's with Eli and after what happened today I doubt that's what she needs," I tell Adam. He grins and pats my back, and something occurs to me. "Would it bother you?"

"You and Clare?" Adam questions and I nod. "I don't think I would have ever pictured you two together, especially because you and Bianca seemed to be so good together. However, I've spent the last ten weeks watching the two of you grow close, spend time together, rely on each other. I've watched you comforting her and being her strength more than anyone. If you two are happy and it's what you want, then I'm 100% behind you and happy for you."

"Thanks Adam," I grin.

"Come on, let's go play video games until dinner," Adam says.

We get up and go cautiously to the basement, I half expect Dallas and Bianca to be making out on the sofa. They seem to have left though, which is good. I'm cool with them being together, it doesn't mean I want to watch them kissing on my sofa.

Adam and I start playing video games and we hear Mom get home a short time later. We stay in the basement until Mom calls us up for dinner, Dallas does not return for dinner. We tell Mom and Dad what Asher did over dinner, they ask if Clare's okay, and Dad says he'll call to find out if the warrant was issued tomorrow morning. Not really wanting to have the conversation with Dallas about him and Bianca tonight, I decide to shower after dinner, and spend the rest of the night in my room. Around eleven my phone rings and its Clare, this is a lot earlier than she usually calls, I haven't even started getting ready for bed.

"You okay?"

"No, not really. It's not even that I can't sleep, actually I can't even get tired enough to want to sleep. I feel like I'm going crazy, do I sound crazy?"

"Not at all, what makes you think you're going crazy?"

"Because I have a thousand thoughts on my mind, but at the same time I can't seem to think at all. Yet, my mind is full of stuff, so many thoughts and…things that I can hardly sit still. Even though nothing really happened this afternoon the back of my mind is playing through all the possible outcomes of what could have happened. Do I sound crazy yet?"

"No, you sound like you've been through something traumatic and your mind is trying to cope. I did the same after everything with Anson, Vince and getting beat up."

"You saved Bianca from getting raped and accidentally killed a boy, and when you wouldn't sell drugs Vince had you beaten, badly beaten. That was truly traumatic and you went through PTSD, I got yelled at by my former mentor, it's not at all the same, I shouldn't be feeling this way."

"That's not true Clare, what you went through is still traumatic. He came to your house, a place that should be secure. I'm betting now you probably don't feel as secure as you did just knowing he knows where you live. I'm glad Adam was there, I know you are too, but even with Adam there were you afraid that Asher would hurt you?"

"Yes," she admits quietly and I hear her sniffling a little. "I knew Adam was there, but when Asher first stormed over I thought he was going to shoot me or something. Even knowing my family is home, and even though I insisted I didn't want to sleep at Eli's I don't feel entirely safe here. Asher was here, he violated the place where I should feel safest. There's this little part of me that worries about him breaking in. What happened this afternoon was so…minor in way, I have a light bruise from where he grabbed me. Yet, the incident continues to replay on this endless loop in the back of my mind. I think it's what's making me feel most crazy. That and those thoughts that are flying through my mind without completely forming."

"I think your mind is trying to wrap around what happened today. Especially, because Asher invaded your space to do it. He may have only grabbed your arm, but in some ways it was worse than him trying to rape you in his car. Your mind is trying to make sense of it, which includes going over every single outcome. It's a lot to handle Clare, and it just adds to the trauma he already put you through. You're not crazy, and you're not going crazy," I assure her. I take a breath before I say this next part, unsure of how she may respond, "Do you want company?"

"Yes," she replies quickly, "but you probably shouldn't come over. I don't think my mom will like it if she finds you here in the morning."

"Can you get out? I could pick you up, we can drive around or go park somewhere, to talk," I add the last part so she doesn't think I'm trying to go make out with her.

"Yeah, that sounds like exactly what I need," she replies and I hear some relief in her voice.

"I'll text you when I'm outside."

"Thanks Drew," she says and hangs up.

I get my shoes on and grab a hoodie, even though I probably won't need it. I grab my wallet and keys before leaving my room. My parents are asleep in bed, but Adam is still up, and I knock softly on his door. Adam opens the door a second later and cocks an eyebrow when he sees me standing there ready to go out.

"Going to see Clare?" Adam asks, really it was more of a statement than a question.

"Stop reading my mind, but yeah she called and she's having trouble. She wants some company, I told her I'd pick her up and we can drive around or something. I don't know when I'll be back, because I'll stay with her as long as she needs me. I might need you to cover for me if I'm not back by morning."

"I will, hug her for me," Adam smiles.

"I will," I reply before turning to leave and Adam closes his bedroom door.

I go quietly down the stairs and out the front door. Mom and Dad's room is on the opposite side of the house, so even if they hear the car starting up they won't know it's my car. It's a cool night, but I don't put my hoodie on, once I have the car heater going I'll be plenty warm. At this hour it takes two minutes to get to Clare's house, and I spend the whole drive debating whether or not to tell her how I feel. I park outside of her house, but I decide to turn off the car and get out, just in case Asher is here he won't get anywhere near her. I stand on her front stoop and get out my phone to text her.

Drew: I'm here, waiting at your front door.

Clare: Be right down.

A few seconds later I see a small figure coming down the dark stairs. She unlocks and opens the interior door first and then the front door.

"Thanks for coming all the way to the front door for me," she smiles. The ambient light from the streetlights and the moon give her face this beautiful glow. I'm pretty sure the stars are sparkling in her eyes, I grin and put my arm around her.

"I didn't think Asher was that stupid, but I figured you'd feel safer if I did."

"Yeah, I wouldn't have felt safe crossing the lawn in the dark."

I open the car door for her and run around to the driver's side. "Will you get in trouble for sneaking out?"

"Jake said he'd cover for me, but Glen never checks on me. If Mom does check on me before she leaves for work Jake is ready with a story."

"Are you thirsty or hungry? We could grab some coffee or something to drink from a 24-hour store and find somewhere to park. Or I can just drive all around Toronto if you prefer?"

"Driving around sounds good, but coffee first," she responds.

I take us to a drive-thru coffee stand near downtown that stays open all night. I pay for both of us and then start driving around randomly, and aimlessly. For a long time Clare is silent, sipping her coffee while I drive around, but I don't want to push her. If she wants to talk she will, if she just wants company then I'm here. After over an hour of driving aimlessly I park at the harbor, we're away from everyone, but we can see the moonlight on the water from here. We both unbuckle our seatbelts and look out at the water, sitting there silently and drinking the last few sips of our now cold coffee.

"I wonder how long it will be before I feel truly safe going out my front door," she says as she shakes her empty coffee cup.

"I imagine when Asher is arrested that will help."

"I hope that happens soon," she says before going quiet again. "Thanks for coming out with me Drew, you didn't have to. I feel bad for dragging you out, waking you up when I call. I hope Bianca doesn't get mad that I was out with you so late."

"Actually, Bianca and I broke up this afternoon."

"I'm sorry Drew. I hope it wasn't because of all the time you've been spending with me."

"That did have something to do with it, but it wasn't the only reason. I don't care about Bianca the way I once did, and she knew it. We're still friends, at least I think so. Turns out she and Dallas like each other."

"How do you feel about that?"

"It'll be weird to see them together at first, but if they're happy then I think I'll get over it pretty quickly. Especially, if this other girl that I care deeply about, and really like, feels the same way about me," I tell her looking her in the eyes. I'm pretty much screaming that the other girl is her without saying it out loud.

Clare bites her lip and gives me this gorgeously soft smile at the same time. My heart skips a beat just looking at her smile. "I do feel the same Drew, I have for a while, but I talked myself out of telling you every time I thought about it. I told myself you were with Bianca and you'd never reciprocate, and I was with Eli, I kept telling myself that I love Eli."

"Yeah," I grin scratching the back of my head, "I told myself pretty much the same things. Denying how I felt even to myself because I didn't think you'd feel the same."

"How could I not? My first instinct has been to call you, just to hear your voice, for weeks. Whether it was something Asher did, that I couldn't sleep or just that I needed a ride. I've been calling you first, rationalizing to myself that Eli was busy, Jake would need his truck, anything to tell myself calling you was the right thing. To spend even just a few extra minutes with you while you drove me to co-op. Even when I was with Eli, being in his arms, but wishing I was in yours," she admits.

I'm so happy I can hardly contain myself any longer, I wrap my arms around her and crush my lips to hers. I feel her lips smile into the kiss, parting for me just a bit, my lips part as well, taking her breath into my mouth. My left hand caresses down her arm, finds her hand and interlaces our fingers. Our lips finally joined after weeks of wanting and longing, dance happily together. It's as much a kiss of joy as it is relief, and we remain locked in it until the need for air overcomes the desire to kiss.

"There's just one little problem," Clare says after a breath. Our fingers are still interlaced and my arm still around her, she leans her head on my arm and I smile again.

"By little problem you mean Eli," I state.

"I want to say it's as easy as breaking up with him, but it's not. Eli's moods and emotions are often…volatile, he doesn't know the way I feel about you, I don't want to harm his friendship with Adam. Just tonight I told him I wanted to spend the night at his house, just not after a night when Asher had attacked me."

"Are you worried that he'll be so angry he stops being friends with you, and Adam? Or are you worried that Eli will hurt you?" I question.

"All of the above, worried that he might hurt you too. I just need to find the right time to break up with him. His behavior tonight scared me a little, and I don't want to set him off," she confesses.

"What do you mean? Did Eli hurt you?" I question feeling my chest get tight at the thought of Eli hurting her.

"No, he just didn't want me to go home. He was very insistent that I stay the night, almost manic about it. He kept saying I'd be safer at his house, and he could protect me, that he had guns at his house. He kept saying that no one else would protect me like he would, except maybe Adam. I finally told him that when I did finally stay the night at his house I wanted it to be on a better night. I didn't really mean it though; I was just saying what he wanted to hear. I also told him if he didn't take me home, I'd call Jake to pick me up. Truth is when I thought about staying the night with a boy at his house it was you that came to mind."

"We can make that happen, although probably not at my house if we're dating. So, what do we do about Eli? Do you want to be with him still?"

She bites her lip and looks at her hand, my stomach drops as I fear the answer that's about to leave her lips.

"When I got back together with Eli it felt right, I felt that old spark, and I do love him. A part of me will probably always feel happy when I think about him. As I imagine you will when thinking about Bianca. I also know that I care about you, that I want to be with you, that I'm almost always thinking about you. I guess there's a part of me that's afraid of breaking up with Eli, and I'm not even sure I can explain it."

"Do you want me to talk to Eli?"

"No," she says quickly looking up at me and shaking her head, "that will probably end with you getting punched."

"Adam could talk to him."

"No, Adam is already deep enough in the middle as it is. I need to talk to Eli, I just need to find a good time, and the right way to say things. I don't want him to get the wrong idea, I don't want him to blame you or think that we've been cheating. I'll call him tomorrow, see how he's feeling," she remarks but her sentence begins to drift to whisper.

"You mean today, it's almost two in the morning now. Do you think you can sleep now? I could take you home," I offer.

"No, I want to be here with you. Do you think we could just sit here while you hold me?"

I smile and tighten my grip on her before kissing her forehead, "As long as you want me to."

We sit there watching the moon and stars on the water, not a word comes from either one of us. Eventually, we fall asleep, both of us waking up as the rising sun reflects on the water.

"I suppose we should get home," Clare sighs.

"Yeah, probably should. What time do your parents usually get up? Mine will be up by the time I get home," I remark.

"Yeah, mine will be up soon too," she nods.

"We could get some breakfast and then I can take you home, it might be easier to sneak in," I comment.

"Breakfast sounds good," she grins.

I reluctantly let go of her and we buckle up again, I start the car and then look for a diner on my phone. I find one that's open, and only because it's an all-night diner. It's pretty empty and they seat us at a booth by the window. We both get more coffee and order breakfast, we both take a long time to eat, not wanting to go home. We hardly say anything over breakfast, we don't talk about us, or Eli or even Adam. Finally, when we can delay no longer I take her home, Glen's truck is gone, but her mom's car is still here, so I hope she won't get into trouble.

"Thanks for everything Drew, I'll call you later," she smiles and leans over to join her lips to mine.

"You want me to walk you to the door?"

"No, I doubt even Asher is here this early, just don't go anywhere until I'm inside."

"I'm walking you to the door," I reply turning off the car.

I walk her to the door and she kisses me again before quietly unlocking her door. When she's in with the door locked I return to the car and drive home. Mom and Dad are definitely awake, and both still home, so I go to the basement door. I tap on it quietly, but when Dallas doesn't open the door after a few seconds I tap a little louder. I hear something now, a second later the curtain is pulled back. Dallas stands there in boxers giving me a look for being outside this early, but he unlocks the sliding glass door to let me in.

"You go sleepwalking out your window? Or you been out all night?" Dallas inquires with a teasing voice.

"All night, Clare couldn't sleep after what happened. If Mom asks I woke up early and came down here," I comment taking off my shoes.

"So, you and Clare a thing yet?" Dallas asks as I hide my shoes where mom won't see them.

"Yeah, well kind of, she still has to break up with Eli," I reply sitting down on the sofa.

"Guess that would be helpful, B and I are dating now. You're not going to deck me now are you?" Dallas questions, though he does sit down next to me.

"No, it's a little weird I guess, but as long as you guys are happy."

Dallas grins and pats my back, he goes back to his room and returns after pulling on some pajama bottoms. I turn on the TV and we watch for a while before Mom peeks down. She makes a comment about how early I must've woken up, but that's about it. Adam sleeps in and about the time he comes down with breakfast I get a text from Clare.

Clare: Asher's warrant was issued; they'll arrest him at The Interpreter. My lawyer called, she wants to meet with me and mom. Then Mom is going to drop me off at work.

Drew: Call me after the lawyer?

Clare: I will. I don't suppose you want to pick me up after work?

Drew: Happily. I go in today too.

Clare: Thanks Drew.

Drew: What about Eli?

Clare: I'll talk to him, just maybe not today. I'll call you when we're done with the lawyer.

I sigh and stick my phone back into my pocket.

"Problem?" Adam asks.

"Not really, Asher's warrant was issued they're going to arrest him at work. Clare's going to meet with her lawyer, then her mom will take her to work. I'll pick Clare up from work after I get off."

"Then why the sigh?" Adam inquires.

"She's not talking to Eli today."

"Then you two talked last night?"

"Yeah, and we want to be together, but she has to break up with Eli first. She keeps saying she will, she just has to find the right time, I just want her to do it, so we can be together."

"She'll do it," Adam assures me, "but last time she broke up with him he crashed his car. I think she's trying to avoid that."

"Right," I nod and lean back on the sofa. While Adam starts explaining to Dallas why Eli went nuts last time Clare broke up with him, I start getting visions of more extreme behavior from him this time.

Update soon, picking up from the same day in Clare's pov. Will she talk to Eli? Next story to be updated is Alone on a School Night.