Like a snowstorm in spring, he wasn't happy that it was happening, but he accepted it, breathing in frosted petals of a wanting he hadn't felt in years.

Of all things sweet and thin, like edible paper, slowly ossifying and quickly blooming- Kyle knew that he was in the middle ground- swimming between wrong and right. Between doing what his heart ached for; to be pulled out of this loneliness. To strip his skin and become new, closing his eyes and wishing that bad things didn't happen. In his own world, they wouldn't.

Aware of the stares he received, he continued walking down the street (he almost never drove anymore, he spaced out too far now, and walking everywhere was safer). On one of the telephone poles, Stan's Missing Person poster was ripped off, tatters of white remaining. His hand hovered over the wood where Stan's face had once been. Whoever did this wasn't completely in the wrong. Stan was gone, but it felt like he had been freshly killed again.

Now that he was officially Kyle Marsh, it helped. At least he could continue carrying the name.

He pressed his fingers into the grooves until his nails turned white.

He ripped open Kenny's truck door.

Kenny, with the seat back all the way, had been asleep, until his eyes flashed open at the sound of the door. Kyle's flushed face was hanging over him.

"Kyle-" he went to flip his chair up.

"-stay there," Kyle put his palm on Kenny's chest.

Still blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he held Kyle's hand as if he were handling a newborn kitten, "What's going on?"

"I don't know why I'm doing this," Kyle said, almost defensively. Kenny could feel he was shaking.

"Kyle, what the hell? Why are you shaking so bad?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I guess so? Doesn't seem like you are. Why?"

"I'm about to give you another heart attack."

"Wait, what-"

Kyle climbed in, straddling Kenny's lap and slamming the door shut. Looking down at Kenny, he combed his fingers into his hair.

"Kyle, listen, you don't have to-"

"-I was thinking about you and I wanted to come be with you. Don't make it any more complicated."

Kenny said nothing, though his lips twitched like he wanted to. He took Kyle's hand from his chest and kissed it.

"I don't really know what to say… there's like, a million thoughts-"

"You don't have to say anything. I just… I kind of want you to kiss me again."

Kenny reached up and cradled Kyle's face, grazing his thumb on Kyle's cheek, something he'd never done to anyone else, but now came naturally. "I don't want you to regret anything."

"I won't."

Kenny's hand slid down to Kyle's collar. He bunched the fabric in his fingers and pulled Kyle into a kiss. Memories of school lunches, sitting so close together that their shoulders touched, weekend sleepovers of playing Mario Kart, the far and few between quiet moments, kicking gravel around at the bus stop, lighting cow dung on fire for hours and hours, playing in the streets until the porch lights turned on- all the things that children do until their lives became nothing but agendas and calendars- he thought of all of it while they kissed for longer and longer until Kenny gently nudged him, feeling that Kyle was messing with his belt.

"We don't have to do that, Kyle."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Kenny chuckled, "Don't be sorry. You don't ever have to apologize for trying to get into my pants… I just think that you deserve better than truck fornication."

"F-fornication? Are you from fucking Texas or something?"

"You know I don't know how to word things!"

"You do when you're not nervous."

"Yeah, and right now, I'm extremely fucking nervous."

"Oh, I'm really sorry…"

"Please stop saying you're sorry. You really have nothing to be sorry for. I never expected you to return my feelings… I just needed you to know. I'm afraid that if we continue this, you're going to get messed up. I don't want to mess you up."

Kyle stared down at Kenny's solemn face and kissed him again, "I'm already messed up, Kenny."

"No, you're not. You've just been through a lot."

"So have you."

"Okay, we've both been through a lot. I guess we can be messed up together."

"I'd like that," Kyle relaxed, letting himself fall into Kenny's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Kyle, hoping- praying- that this wasn't a dream.