Dear Edward,

You've gotten taller.

I know, I know, there are far more important things to discuss, but I can't help, even in unsent letters, but tease you a little.

You may be wondering exactly how I'm writing this, considering I'm blind now. Truth be told, I'm not so much writing as I am dictating. Lieutenant Hawkeye is doing the real pen work. Of course, some things I've said—and others I have yet to say—may be considered unsavory, but I trust her to be discrete.

Every day that passes feels less real than the last. It seems like it's been an eternity since life felt normal, and now I doubt I'll ever return to quite that same frame of mind I used to inhabit. Not that that's a bad thing, but it does take some adjustment.

The Promised Day keeps playing in my mind like a movie. I've been in battles before, never with the stakes so astoundingly high, but even so. It's not the fight that I can't get over—it's you.

Let's start from that morning, shall we?

I kidnapped Mrs. Bradley. It sounds so crass when put that way! In reality, she did serve as an insurance policy, but we were also doing her a favor. I'm sure you've heard by now, when we were attacked by that first wave of soldiers, they were ordered to kill everyone but me. That included the Fuhrer's wife. I'd suspected as much, but I'm sure for her that was devastating. She immediately wondered if the country had turned its back on her husband, or whether he'd turned his back on her. It struck me, how quickly she considered that unsavory possibility. Mrs. Bradley seemed to have less confidence in her husband's devotion than I have confidence in you.

Throughout the confrontation with the Central soldiers, we were trying so hard not to kill anyone. In hindsight, and from an outsider's view, that was merely a move to ensure we could not be villainized. While we did stretch the truth a little to keep public opinion on our side, in all truthfulness, we just couldn't kill any more innocents. Yes, the other soldiers were attacking us…but to them, we were the ones in the wrong. They couldn't be blamed for trusting their superior officers.

Once the team had the situation aboveground in hand (many thanks to the officers at Briggs), I headed underground, as you well know. Meeting up with you was…like a puzzle being put together. As strange as it may sound, I wasn't surprised at all to see you refusing to be cowed by the sheer number of mannequins you were up against. It's just like you, Ed, to completely ignore the odds stacked against you. That's just one thing I admire about you. Though, I was glad I could intervene before you were eaten.

What happened next…well, it wasn't one of my finer moments. When Envy arrived, and eventually divulged the truth about Maes's death—I know, I lost it completely. I was just filled to the point of overflowing with grief and rage. Maes being gone is still a raw wound, and I snapped.

(The Lieutenant has just pointed out my unintentional pun)

I will forever be immensely grateful that you came back to stop me from losing myself. You and Lieutenant Hawkeye. Scar as well, I supposed. What really brought me back to reality was when I threatened to let you burn with Envy, if that's what it took. I…that is a shame I will carry with me the rest of my life, Edward. I hope you know that in my right mind, I would never hurt you. But hearing myself go so completely against my true wishes, coupled with the encouragement from you and the Lieutenant, put me in my place. Thank you, for not letting me give in to the temptation of revenge.

And you know what? Envy still died. It didn't make me feel any better about Maes being gone. So I am doubly glad I didn't become a monster.

Afterwards, when we were wandering the tunnels beneath Central in search of Father, I couldn't help being happy despite the dire situation. It was so good to see and speak to you once more. I'm embarrassed to admit, I couldn't help but—well, no. I'll get to that later.

We came to meet not Father, but the leftover Bradley candidates and that bizarre doctor. I thought we could take them, until he activated that transmutation circle and you were swallowed up. I'm not sure if you remember, but…you were screaming. Regardless of my atheism, I swear to God my heart stopped when you disappeared. After all the talk of sacrifices, I thought you were gone entirely.

The shock was enough for them to get the upper hand on us. The Lieutenant, as you know, was almost killed in an attempt to get me to perform human transmutation. If I hadn't met you, and hadn't seen how awful it was for you to commit that taboo…if I didn't know how disappointed you would be in me if I did choose to do it…I may have. Luckily, I didn't need to make that decision; the interference of two of our chimera friends and that lovely Xingese girl saved Lieutenant Hawkeye and let us gain a second wind.

If only it could have lasted.

That blasted homunculus, Pride, surprised us all. I knew Selim was merely a farce, but it was still jarring to be held captive by a child. He pinned me down, ripping right through my hands, and formed his shadows into the transmutation circle I most dreaded…

I'd never considered how terrifying the Gate would have been to you, until I unwittingly experienced it myself. And I'm so sorry you had to go through that at such a young age, Edward.

Coming out the other side, it was a relief to hear your voice. Much less of a relief was the fact that I couldn't see. It's still hard, now, but then…I felt like I do when it rains. Useless.

I could hear Father activating the transmutation circle, and I could feel him using us. The experience was that much more horrific for my absolute lack of readiness. Each new sound, each new feeling, was unexpected. And I could do nothing about it.

Happy as I was to hear Hohenheim reveal his counter-plan, and to know that everyone was still going to put up a fight, I was also so overwhelmed. How was I to be a meaningful part of that, if I couldn't even see who I was supposed to be aiming for?

The Lieutenant once again came to the rescue, then. By using my newfound freedom from having to use transmutation circles, and her eyes, I could still help. It's a good thing I trust her so entirely, otherwise I would have been much too concerned about the possibility of hitting you instead of Father to do anthing.

However, with the loss of one of my senses, it was hard to tell how the battle was going. I was thrown back when Father started to come undone, but after that…I heard you screaming. A lot. Sometimes you sounded like you were in pain, and sometimes the sound was full of anger. And all I could do was sit there, silently hoping your strength would be enough.

I didn't realize Alphonse had gone until Father was dead. Your anguish was so raw, so real…I thought it would tear me in two. I couldn't even feel victorious. Of course, I should have known you would find a way to turn it all around. You always do, Edward.

Words cannot express how ecstatic I am that you've managed to get Al's body back, and your arm to boot. I suppose asking for your leg as well would have been too much, but all things considered, I think you came out on top this time.

It's strange, knowing you're in the same hospital as me. Here we are, under the same roof, and yet still separated by circumstance.

Now. Back to you being taller.

The truth hit me like a train, when I saw you fighting those mannequins. Never could there have been a more inopportune time, but I couldn't help what I saw. You'd gotten taller, and bulkier. Even through that red coat you insist on wearing, I could tell how much you'd muscled up. I hadn't seen you in months, I'd been longing for your company, and then you show up looking more mature. And more attractive.

I cannot see her, but I could feel the Lieutenant's glance when I said that. Yes, I meant it. Attraction.

All the times I'd wished I could see you, the worry I held deep within for your safety, my inexplicable desire to speak to you, the way I trusted you so inherently…it all made sense, then. It took physically seeing you again to realize, but—I have feelings for you, Edward.

A bittersweet realization, considering you'll be leaving for Risembool soon. Now that I understand what has drawn me to you so, you must away again. Deep down I doubt I'd have the courage to act on my emotions, but it is still disheartening to know I'll not have the chance to hold you in my arms.

I do hope you won't leave without saying goodbye. At least do your foolish superior that much.

Ever yours,

Roy