A/N: For AngstFest using prompts #2 and 7.
10 years before…
It was like there was a brick in his stomach. It'd formed early last night and remained inside of him all through the pictures and graduation ceremony. He'd sat there in his cap and gown listening to speeches about the future knowing that he was about to destroy his own.
It's for the best, he tried to remind himself. If he truly loved her… then this is what he had to do.
The brick in his stomach grew heavier when he saw her making her way down the trail to the lake, struggling against the loose rocks in her black heels. The zipper of her graduation gown was undone revealing the floral mini dress she wore underneath during the ceremony. Her long curls were straightened and smoothed into an elegant updo, accentuated by the drop pearl earring he knew she's gotten especially for today. She smiled brighter than the sun when she saw him and his heart dropped.
She looked beautiful.
"Hey you," she drawled, hardly able to contain her excitement. "Look at us, Storybrooke High School graduates!"
She leans in to wrap her arms around his neck and give him a lingering kiss, the last kiss he'd ever get from her, not that she knew that. He tried to treasure it but honestly, her lips tasted like ash and betrayal against his own. He gently pushed her away, trying to keep the heartbreak out of his eyes.
"Regina… we need to talk."
Her smile faltered at the serious tone of his voice. "What's wrong?" she asked, searching his face. "Is it your father?"
"Something like that." He paused, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. Looking down at her, he tried to steele his resolve. This had to happen for her sake.
"I've doing some thinking," he said. "About my dad and us… and the future. And I just don't think what we have planned really works."
She shifts, uncomfortably at his words, her voice coming out small when she asks, "What do you mean?"
"I mean… my dad's going to need a lot of attention and most of it has to come from me," he tries to explain. "I'm his son, I have to take care of him."
"I know that," she says, understandingly.
"And with how sick he's gonna be, he's gonna want a lot of space and privacy," he continues. "I just don't think he'll get any of it, if you stay and move in with us."
Worry starts to dance in her brown as she looks up at him. She presses her lips together and he knows that she can see where this is headed.
Shaking her head, she stammers, "Well… that's okay. I mean, I don't have to live with you guys. I could stay with my parents or get an apartment on my own…"
"Regina...I just don't think I can do it," he mumbles.
"Can't do what?" she whispers.
"I can't take care of my dad… and keep pretending that I love you."
He never knew it was possible to see so much emotion on one person's face. It's all so heavy, the way she goes silent, the way her eyes stay on his face in disbelief and heartbreak, tears welling up inside of them. She sucks in a sharp, tiny breath before biting down on her lip to keep from screaming. Trembling, lets out another breath shaky and fragile.
"Why… why would you say that?" she brokenly whispers.
"I'm sorry." He is, he is more sorry than he has ever been or will ever be in his entire life. This wasn't how this day was supposed to go. This was supposed to be the day they got engaged, this moment was supposed to be happy and joyous, memorable for all the best reasons, not the worst ones. This wasn't how this day was supposed to be.
"I never meant to hurt you," he mumbles, unable to look her in the eye. "I just… I thought it was better to tell you now."
Tears had started to stream down her face, as a hurt sound escaped from her lips. "You said you loved me," she softly cried.
It takes everything in him not to cry because he does love her. More than she knows, more than he can let her know right now. His heart is breaking at the thought of a future without her but he can't be the thing that holds her back. He just can't.
This is the only way that she can have her dream. Without him.
She starts to break at his prolonged silence. "Just… go Robin. Leave me alone, please."
He wants to take it all back. Wants to pull her into her arms, whisper that of course he loves her, doesn't know if he could ever learn to stop but he can't. She has to go to Harvard. She has to get out of this town, away from its limits, away from her mother. He can't stand in the way of that.
So he doesn't. Lump still in his throat, he does as she asks and leaves. Out of the corner of his eye he sees her sink to her knees near the bottom of the tree, her hands covering her mouth to stifle her cries. Every step he takes away from her sinks him further into regret.
By the time he gets into his car he's already started to wonder… did he just make the biggest mistake of his life?
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There's only been one other time in his life where he's felt like a bigger jackass than he does right now. It was in the exact same spot on graduation day, the day he broke her heart. He remembers it like it was yesterday. Standing under this same tree, obliterating any chance of a future with the girl he loved, the girl who stood in front of him now with crossed arms and pulled together eyebrows.
He never would've thought that ten years after that fateful day, he'd be standing in the exact same spot asking her if the boy she showed up with was his son. It would be life's cruelest trick if she said yes. A perfect show of karma for what he'd done and said to her… but apparently, life wasn't that poetic.
"Robin... no."
His eyebrows shoot up to the top of his head. "No?"
"No," she laughs, staring at him with incredulous eyes. "Are you serious?"
He helplessly shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know," he stressed, embarrassment starting to burn in his cheeks. "I mean you showed up with a kid and all the timing worked out, and David got in my head."
God, the next time he saw his cousin he was getting a punch straight to the gut.
Luckily, Regina only chuckled good-naturedly. "Well, sorry to disappoint you and the rumor mill but Henry isn't your son. I adopted him."
"Oh…" His reply comes out softer than he intended. "Really?"
"Yeah," she sighs, turning to beam in the direction of her son, who's tossing rocks into the lake, trying to make them skip. "Paperwork was finalized about a week ago, so this is kind of a celebration trip for the two of us."
"That's… amazing." A smile breaks out on his face at her news. He always knew she'd make an incredible mother. "Your father must be over the moon."
"He is quite ecstatic," she replies with a grin. "He's always wanted a namesake, and he's finally got one." She tilts her head, wistfully. "It's just a nice reminder that everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff."
Right, the bad stuff... like him.
For ten years he'd wondered if he'd made the right choice, breaking up with her on graduation day. He'd spent so many nights lying awake, thinking about her and what he'd given up. And for the first time since that day, it feels like he finally has a definitive answer. It had been for the best. She had her son and he had his. She'd achieved her goals and found happiness, maybe not with him but with herself. Seeing her now, happy, successful, a mother… he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. What he'd done was for the best, even if it had hurt them both at the time.
Maybe that's why he'd finally felt brave enough to apologize for it.
"You know… I'm sorry." Her eyes flicker up to his. "About graduation," he says. "I shouldn't have broken up with you like that. You deserved better than that, better than me…"
The light in her eyes dims at his apology and he can see her gulp, swallowing her feelings. "It's okay," she mumbles. "You were just being honest."
Talking about that day has sent her walls up he can see that. Her gaze has averted from him, and her fingers grip into her arms as she tries to downplay her own pain. It's a familiar picture for him. Even after ten years.
"I mean… what did we expect?" She shrugged. "We were eighteen in high school. It was bound to happen sooner or later. It's not like you were gonna marry me or anything like that."
His heart clenches at her last sentence. It stings hearing her dismiss the idea of their marriage but how could she know what he'd been planning? It's not like he'd ever told her.
"What we had was...sweet," she mumbled, still keeping up her facade. "But it wasn't meant to last. It wasn't meant to be… significant, obviously."
"You have always been significant to me Regina," he says. "That much has always been true."
Sincerity drips from his words, cutting off her dismissal of their relationship. She looks up at him with surprise in her eyes, caught off guard by the depth of his honesty. He tries not to be hurt at the shock in her eyes, knowing damn well it was his own decision to put it there. He'd been the one to say he didn't love her. It shouldn't surprise him that she still believes that. Maybe it'd been for the best back then but he can't let her go on still thinking that she meant nothing. Because in truth she'd meant everything.
Silent once again, she searches his face for a hint of insincerity, swallowing hard when she finds none.
"I should go," she finally whispers. "My dad is waiting for us back at the house."
Everything in his soul is reaching out for her, screaming at him to beg her not to leave. But just like that day ten years ago, he doesn't listen to it. He just watches as she gathers her son and heads for the trail, only managing to send him one last glance before she walks off.
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10 years before...
She didn't know how long she sat beneath that tree, feeling numb and heartbroken.
Her mother had been right. Robin didn't love her. He never did.
Once again her eyes landed on the graduation ring on her right hand, the one he'd given to her. Pain sliced through her as she thought back to that night, the way he'd managed to sound so in love with her, to make her think that they'd had a future together. Had he been lying the whole time?
She was surprised when her friends showed up, nearly forgetting that she'd texted them in her tear-filled haze. The minute they saw her, they rushed to wrap her arms around her as she cried, listening when she explained what happened. By the time she finished she was staring into three pairs of eyes all filled with the same burning fury.
"That bastard," gritted out Ursula. "How dare he do this to you?"
She paced in front of the tree with her hands on her hips, already forming a plan to ruin Robin's life. "After all that you've done for him…"
"Doesn't make any sense," added Carlotta, before taking another swig from the flask she'd hidden in her gown. "It's not like he can ever hope to do better than you."
She'd offered Regina a drink more than once but she'd refused, still sitting on the roots of the tree, her chin in her hands and her eyes still burning from the tears as Mal comfortingly rubbed her back.
"We should drive his stupid truck into the lake," growled Ursula, clearly out for revenge.
Regina subtly sucked in a breath, fighting the instinct to scream no, Robin needed his car for work and doctor's appointments. God, why does she still care about him? She doesn't want to care. She shouldn't.
"We're not gonna drive his truck into the lake," Mal calmly insisted. "It's like my grandmother used to say. 'The best revenge is a life well-lived.'"
Carlotta rolled her eyes. "No, the best revenge is a well-paid hitman."
Mal ignored her, looking to Regina instead. "Look I know this sucks but you still have options. This means you can go to Harvard, become a lawyer just like you planned."
Regina's bottom lip started to tremble and she pushed them together, as she shook her head. "I can't go to Harvard," she brokenly whispered.
"Of course you can," Mal insisted. "I saw the deadline. You can cancel your deferment, take your spot back."
"It's not about the deadline Mal!" She sighed, turning to her with sad eyes. "I'm pregnant."
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