Chapter 4

As soon as her classes had finished, Ruby headed home and immediately got to work on her outfit. She ended up choosing something more form-fitting. Not too much, but something that hid less of what rested below her waist than her umpteen layers of tool. Sticking with her classic red, Ruby found something highly feminine and rather revealing of her chest without being so much that she felt uncomfortable. It was a distinct choice, however admittedly one that came from her insecurities. If she was being honest with herself, the reason why she chose something extra feminine and pushing her own bounds of comfort was to remind Penny. Hands pinched and pulled at all those parts of her that wouldn't let her forget. In literally the most surface of ways she was not who she was. It hurt in the most inward and intimate of ways to see it; she just prayed that somehow the rest of what she did could help remind Penny that there was more to her than just what she wished wasn't there. Anxious tears prolonged a makeup application job which should have taken forty-five minutes well past two hours. Any other day, any other day at all and Ruby would have given up the fourth time she ruined her eyeliner. But even when she began to grow certain that Penny would be calling any moment, worried as to whether or not she would show up, Ruby kept going. She needed it; at least she felt like she did. Eventually, she had her smoky red eyeshadow blended out, and her lipstick just perfect, and her hair was even as done up as she could get it. Finally, she was ready. Penny's room wasn't far, just on the other side of the college's dormitory.

Penny, who had been doing nothing but anxiously fiddling with the hem of her dress on her bed, perked; nearly lept from the bed the moment she heard the singular two knocks on her door. "Ruby!" She yelped, anxious and excited. Something of her core twisted in excitement. She was slick just thinking of what it might be like with Ruby, even if a part of her was still terrified that Ruby was hurt or that she might run off again.

"Hey, it's me." Ruby knocked twice once more after a moment's wait. Her anxiety was getting the better of her. "I know I am late for our normal date time, and I'm really sorry ag-" Ruby lingually hiccupped as Penny opened the door. "Sorry again." She rubbed at her neck, attempting to make the outfit look nonchalant.

"Wow." Penny's eyes bulged from her skull and her jaw dropped. "You- you are beautiful. Just wow."

Ruby blushed, but she was certain that it couldn't be seen through all of her foundation. "I figured this might be the best way to apologize for last night?"

"Apology accepted!" Penny momentarily became a bobblehead, nodding eagerly that she appreciated the apology. "I, but you were already forgiven!" Penny forced herself to remind.

"I know, but I also know I worried you. And it is important to me that you know you didn't do anything wrong." Ruby hugged Penny who was still mildly dumbstruck by just how beautiful her girlfriend looked.

"I love you." Penny randomly squeezed Ruby.

"I love you too Penn. I love you too." Ruby sighed, squeezing back. She savored those moments, enjoying them to their fullest as she was certain her makeup was already ruined again. She forced herself to enjoy because she was still so terrified. Terrified that she would never be allowed to hold Penny again after she told her the truth, what she was.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Yes, I am just enjoying this." Ruby dismissed it as only half a lie as she held tighter.

"Ok." Penny could hear Ruby sniffle, and for a moment she was even confident that Ruby had been crying. But she decided against saying anything. If Ruby wanted her to know, she would say something.

"May I come in?" Ruby wiped any errant tears away with a silent thanks to the gods for waterproof makeup and the ample opportunity she had earlier that evening to test hers out.

"Of course! Of course." Penny guided Ruby in with a hand at the small of her back.

"I'm sorry, I know I'm too late for us to go out the way we like to on Thursdays." Ruby knew she would be too late arriving at Penny's for that. She could remember choosing to finish her makeup instead. A calculated decision. She was just too confident that it would hurt all the more to have a delightful date and then to be rejected for her body. This was just easier. Better to get it over with and done; to have her heartbroken and go home rather than to have to spend so long in Penny's radiance before it all came crashing down.

"Going out is never about 'going out'. It's about being with you." Penny took Ruby's hand.

Gods, she wasn't interested in making this easy was she? "You're right." Ruby purposefully smiled so wide that it almost justified how she closed her eyes, striving not to cry.

"Ruby?" Penny's voice wavered with worry.

"Yeah?" Ruby's quivered.

"What's going on? You, you are shaking."

"I- I am? Oh wow? Haha, I am?" Ruby nervously faked laughter.

Penny sat at the edge of her bed and looked up to Ruby, taking her one hand in both of hers. "Ruby, why did you run off yesterday?"

"Because I'm trans." The damn broke. "Because I feel like I've been hiding from you and lying to you; like there is this huge part of me that I've been keeping sealed away. But I'm not. I've only ever been myself; entirely out and entirely truthful. This whole time, I've only ever been me… I've just also always been scared of what you would think when I finally told you." Ruby was completely out of breath, and tears were still streaming down her face. "When you finally found out." Her head and shoulders collapsed in on her. She just couldn't bear to keep them up any longer.

"Ok." Penny's fingers massaged over Ruby's gently. "So you are transgender?"

"Yes. I always have been. I… my mother died during a home birth, so my dad filled out my forms for the government, and when he found out that I wasn't a boy, it was a lot easier to just say there was a mistake, and it's just been a thing that it's been so much easier to pretend never happened. That I just always was who I am." Ruby rambled. "That's why no one here knows other than my sister, why it wasn't an issue when I filed to live in the girls' dorms."

"Either way, corrected forms or not, it's not like they should have put you with the boys." Penny reacted earnestly, even if it was with that innocence that didn't even understand why it would have been an issue.

"You aren't wrong, but… but… but…"

"It's ok Ruby. I love you. And this doesn't change anything." Ruby could feel Penny's lips at her knuckles. "I love you how you are. Nothing is different. I love you."

"But you! You haven't seen it!" Ruby stomped weakly, some part of her refusing that it could be that easy, especially after how much she had worried about it all.

"Seen what Ruby?" There was that innocence again.

"The thing that makes me different from all other girls!" Ruby half whined in anxiety.

"You've seen what makes me different from other girls. Do you love me any less?" Penny looked up and her fingers stopped.

Ruby's worries momentarily blanked as her eyes met Penny's once more. "No, no! Never. That would never change how much I love you Penny!" One moment her hands were holding Penny's cheeks, and then the next they were kissing.

"I love you Ruby." Penny broke from the kiss. "I don't care what you are, as long as you are my Ruby." Penny cupped Ruby's cheeks, her thumbs wiping away the tears as they fell.

"I love you too." The tears streamed faster, but Ruby was no longer sad.

"I'm so sorry you were so scared." Penny whispered, an unfamiliar sensation stinging at her eyes. She was crying; something she had never done before that week.

"I'm sorry I did not believe that you would be so amazing about it." Ruby sniffled and sobbed with an unbelievably wide but earnest smile.

"I've never cared what was between your legs, the same way you've never cared what is under my skin." The stinging in her eyes grew and grew until she had to blink. Before she could open her eyes once more, there Ruby was; at her lips again. Penny was surprised, so much of it all was so new. The tears, that level of worry, the relief. Surprised, but not displeased or upset. Still wrapped up in all the confusing emotions and the heaven of her love at her lips, Penny lagged to notice as Ruby climbed up into her lap.

"I love you Penny." Ruby wrapped her arms around the other woman, pulling them closer.

"I love you too." Penny echoed back, the two breaking from the kiss to just hold each other there for a moment. "Are you ok?" Penny, first to break the silence, whispered amidst a soft nuzzle at Ruby's neck.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. I'm so much more ok than I have been in a long time Penny."

"Good." Penny pulled back so they could see each other's faces again.

"You're crying!" Ruby wiped her face clean with her forearm before moving to wipe away Penny's tears.

"It's ok. It's ok. I'm happy. I'm just really happy." Penny chuckled softly. "I'm just happy you could tell me."

"I'm sorry it took so long."

"It's perfectly ok." Penny's hands slid up and down the outside of Ruby's arms gently. "All that matters is that you are ok."

Ruby nodded, her emotions finally calming. "I am." A sigh, and the tension that had been keeping her up finally began to release.

"And, Ruby. We- we don't need to… if you're not ready. I und-"

"Penny, I've wanted you like… like that for months. Gosh, if I'm honest, I've kind of wanted you like that since we first met." Ruby faltered with her words, and Penny's cheeks reddened. "If you'll still have me, I want you like that too." Ruby paused. "God, penny, the reason I ran away yesterday was that I was so excited for it and, and… I was just afraid that when you saw it…"

"You were afraid I wouldn't love you anymore."

Ruby swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Yeah." Her voice cracked. "I did." She moved from her spot, straddling Penny's lap to kneeling on the bed next to her.

"It's ok." Penny nodded softly, placing one hand on Ruby's thigh. "And umm… when you say-" She blushed with a verbal hiccup. "Excited? You mean…"

"Yeah." Ruby whispered with a soft nod.

"So your- still gets-" Penny wasn't sure how to say it or if she should.

"Yeah. It does." Ruby's breaths came as awkward staggered desperate inhales. "God, if your hand goes any higher, you start to see it soon." She could feel Penny's thumb caressing gently at the inner front of her thigh as it slid up like molasses.

"Is that ok with you?" Penny stilled her hand from rising, but not her thumb from its miniature caresses.

"It's not gonna matter in a second." Ruby squeaked out, feeling her pulse lower down.

"It does matter. What matters is that you are ok, and that you want whatever we do."

"Yeah. Yeah, I want it." Ruby admitted breathless.

"And may I?" Penny twitched her fingers at Ruby's thigh, a small ruffle beginning at the center of Ruby's dress.

"Please!" Ruby was still as a board, the only part of her moving in even the slightest was the ruffle growing in her dress with each heartbeat.

"You can breathe. Don't be scared. I'm not scared of it." Penny assured, her hand slipping higher.

Ruby gasped in, her body striving to catch back up on the oxygen she had been depriving herself of.

"That's it." Penny cooed, leaning in. "She's excited."

"Huh?" Ruby whimpered.

"This little one." Penny placed one finger on the tip, just resting it at the top of the tent in Ruby's dress. "She's excited."

Ruby's breaths quickly devolved into a needy little whine.

"Do you like it when I call her that?" Penny questioned softly, half leaning on the bed, half simply laying on it. Ruby could feel her warmth so close, and it only made her more desperate.

"Yeah." Ruby panted.

"Do you have anything else you like to call her?" Penny's fingers began to slip below Ruby's skirt as one individual finger began teasing more and more at Ruby's tip.

"Like- like what?"

"Well, you could call her your clit or clitoris?" Penny replied as if it were only logical.

Ruby hadn't thought of calling it much else other than 'that thing' or 'that damned thing' maybe 'damn morning wood' but even that only came on the most generous of days to the anatomy she loathed in so many ways. The idea of calling it her, or labeling it as an actual feminine body part feeling like some wonderful release of shackles she wasn't sure who had put on her; the world or herself? "Yeah. I like that a lot." Ruby whimpered. Even just Penny's finger circling over it through her panties and dress felt nice.

"Which one?" Penny charged ahead, entirely unaware of the euphoria Ruby experienced.

"C-clit's perfectly fine. I- I really like that a lot." Ruby's hips quivered and unintentionally she bucked a little before settling back on her heels.

"Aww, you're even getting all wet, just like me." Penny cooed, pulling her finger back as a bead of precum stung from her fingertip to a small dark stain on Ruby's otherwise immaculate dress.

"God, Penny!" Ruby felt weak in a way she simply adored.

"You ok Ruby?" Penny took the finger back, sticking it in her mouth and nonchalantly tasting Ruby's precum.

"How do you do that?" Ruby wavered, nearly falling backward on the bed.

"Do what sweetheart?"

"Be so sexy like that." Ruby let herself fall backward, her head landing on Penny's pillows. "It's not fair that you are so pretty and sexy like that."

"You know you are sexy and pretty too, right?" Penny checked, her warm hands find Ruby's legs.

"E- even tho I'm not the way I was in your dreams? I know you never thought of it being this way when you layed down to recharge."

"You weren't." Penny admitted, Ruby's heart breaking just a little. "But this is better.

"How?" Ruby choked back a baffled sob.

"Because this is the real you. Because, this you? I can touch." Penny's hands slid up one of Ruby's thighs and under her dress. "Caress." She made eye contact with her girlfriend, awaiting any disapproval, but when a nod came instead, her hand lifted up, finding the origin of the tent in Ruby's dress. Her fingers wrapped delicately around Ruby through the fabric of her panties. "Because, this you, I can make love to. The one in my dreams was just a fantasy, perfect in her own way; but nothing compared to the real thing."

Ruby found herself biting her lip, her hips rocking slowly into Penny's warm hand. "God, that feels really good."

"Good." Penny's grin turned devious. "You are really cute when your clit is being touched."

Ruby looked away in an embarrassed shame. "It's really nice. I- is this what it felt like when I was slipping a finger inside you?"

Penny tilted her head slowly and nodded. "I imagine so." She paused, her hand began to move faster. "Do you wanna do it again? It felt fantastic. Your soft finger easing into me."

"Woah~ Penny!" Ruby's hips jutted up, Penny catching her in just the best way. "L- little too fast there."

Penny giggled. "But what if I wanna go too fast? Make you-"

"Penny!" Ruby squealed at the feeling of Penny's hand squeezing around her and speeding up.

"You are beautiful." Penny whispered, taking Ruby's hand and kissing it.

"Penny!" Ruby panted out. "Penny, please. I don't want to completely ruin this dress."

"Oh!" Penny cracks a smile and strives to hide a chuckle. "Sorry." She pulled slowly at Ruby's dress, going to reveal her.

"Wait!" Ruby stopped Penny's hand. "A- are you sure… sure you can see it and-" Ruby choked on the dense air in her throat.

"I won't stop loving you Ruby. Especially not because if your beautiful little clit." Penny allowed a moment, staring back at Ruby as the woman teared up again and calmed once more.

"I'm ready." Ruby whispered. "If you are ready, I am."

"I am." Penny agreed.

"C- can we take each other's clothes off?"

"I'd like that." Penny released Ruby's sex. The two moved to their knees, approaching each other on the bed slowly.

"You look beautiful tonight." Ruby hummed in a hushed tone, her arms finding themselves wrapping around Penny's shoulder.

"Really? You, telling me that? Tonight of all nights? Where you look more like a goddess than a human?" Penny wrapped her arms around Ruby's waist.

Ruby fought with a dumbly wide smile that refused to leave her face as her cheeks grew rosy. "Stop being so cute like that. It's not fair." Ruby slid Penny's suspenders off of her shoulders. Hands drifted down to find the buttons on Penny's shirt. Slowly, Ruby undid them.

"I could say the same for you." Penny found the zipper at the back of Ruby's dress. Slowly, their tops both began to slide off of their shoulders with the other's aid. Naturally, and without any guidance from the other, they both found their right hands resting over the other's chest, either where a heart did or would lay. Feeling each other, softly they kissed. Hands began to stray, each cupping at the other's breast. Bras were quickly tossed aside to be found another day. Moans started being exchanged and at the first pinch of a nipple, even a soft ecstasy induced yelp. Each tough grew greedier in some impossibly selfless way. Ruby's hand found its way down to Penny's ass, cupping then grabbing as she felt the other biting at her lip.

"Fuck."

"I'm wet." Penny pleaded in a soft voice.

"Me too." Ruby agreed, one hand slipping down inside the back of Penny's skirt to grab at her bare ass.

Penny moaned into the firm hold. "That's nice."

"It is."

Penny's hand slid down to do the same.

"Really nice."

"How do you want to…" Penny left the open question to Ruby.

"Do you mind if I am on the bottom?"

Penny's lips curled up on one side in a pleased smirk.

"Good?" Ruby worried.

"I may or may not have occasionally fantasized about being on top of you while you had a strap when I recharged."

Ruby's head fell into Penny's shoulder and her chest heaved up and down in delighted laughter. "I- I think we can manage that." Ruby couldn't stop her own laughter.

Penny laughed too, but less than Ruby. Eventually, she pushed Ruby back, urging her to lay down with a glare that conveyed Penny's thoughts. Laughing time was over, it was time for something more sultry.

"Sorry babe." Ruby snickered with a smirk.

"You're fine." Penny offered, slipping two fingers inside the dress folded down on itself.

"I'm ready." Ruby consented, seeing Penny's questionative look.

"Everything will be ok." In a hushed tone, Penny leaned down to kiss at Ruby's tummy. Her fingers pulled down Ruby's dress and panties with ease. Ruby's warm clitoris spring up, pressing against her throat as she continued kissing at Ruby's belly until the redhead was whining and fidgeting on the bed. Ruby was far from patient, and the feeling of Penny's warm kisses so close to her sex yet not on it was no aid.

"Penny!" Ruby cried out. "Penny, it is aching!"

"Your poor clit all wet and craving to be touched?"

"Yes!" Ruby whined impatient, legs kicking gently at the bed.

"I love you." Penny's hand rose to caress the underside of Ruby. "When I say that, I mean all of you." Her hand wrapped around Ruby, stroking up and down slowly. "Even the parts you may not love as much." Penny moved ever so slightly. Looking down, she ligned Ruby up with her mouth and took Ruby in slowly.

"Penny!" Ruby screamed! She had never experienced that; nothing like it. When Ruby had touched herself, it was never soft, never tender, loving, or any of the things it felt like as Penny slid her mouth up and down on it. A part of her body only ever used when entirely necessary; only if her body demanded that release, and even when she did, it felt barely like anything more than bloodletting; a violent act just getting rid of what shouldn't be there. But with Penny? A soft intimate act as the beautiful woman's eyes fluttered back up to her. Just the soft reassurance that everything was ok. Even as her core tensed and her whole body arched back, she felt more her than she ever had.

"You don't taste half bad." Penny praised, wiping the additional dribble from her lip with the back of her hand just to lick it off.

Ruby whined back, still caught up on cloud nine, floating amongst her release and the warmth of Penny.

"I take it I wasn't half bad either?" Penny mused, licking Ruby clean from what residual release dribbled down her length.

Ruby moaned loudly, her hips naturally rising up to meet Penny's perfect tongue. "Good~" She shuttered.

"Good." Penny enjoyed the state she left Ruby in.

A soft whine and Ruby's senses finally began to return to her as Penny joined her, laying back in the bed and Resting her head on Ruby's breast. "I… Wait. You- your turn."

"You sure you're up for it love?" Penny checked, a hand caressing at Ruby's chest and belly.

Ruby snickered and replied with a simple point. She very literally was up for it.

"It's beautiful. Just like you." Penny admired for a moment.

"It's not. But thank you." Ruby squeezed Penny in an embrace. "What do you want next? I can return the favor if you'd like?"

"I would like. But not tonight. Tonight, I just want you. I want you to feel comfortable and safe; reassured in my love for you."

"I know you love me. You don't have to-" Ruby stopped herself as she watched Penny sitting up and shimmying her clothes the rest of the way off.

"I know I don't. But I want to."

"You do?"

"I do." Penny nodded. Slowly, she moved to straddle Ruby.

"Wow, you on top of me like that feels really nice." Ruby gawked breathless.

Penny grinned. "You aren't even inside me yet."

Ruby fidgeted on the bed eagerly.

"Here." Penny took Ruby's hands and placed them on her hips.

"You are amazingly beautiful." Ruby surveyed Penny's body once more, her eyes catching on all the minor imperfections which must have been intentional, but just left Penny all the more wondrous.

"You are too." Penny leaned up, resting her hands on Ruby's breasts.

"Your hands are warm."

"And your boobs are soft." Penny giggled, her hands cupping and squeezing softly.

Ruby moaned, her clit rubbing against Penny's ass as she writhed slowly in the bed. "That feels really nice."

"Are you ready?" Penny moved backward, raising her hips and taking Ruby's length in her hand.

"Yeah. I- Are you sure? I've heard a first time can hurt?"

"We can go slow, but it felt really nice when your finger slipped inside me."

"My… clit is a lot bigger than just a finger." Ruby worried.

Penny tilted her head from side to side. "I may have tested more than one finger on myself once or twice. I… I like it... a lot."

"God, I can feel how wet you are." Ruby nearly melted, feeling the head of her clit pressing into Penny's labia.

"You are warm… Warm and hard." Penny hummed.

Ruby fidgeted, striving not to raise her hips and accidentally push inside Penny without permission.

"Impatient, aren't you?"

"Yes." Ruby pouted.

"Ok my love. Ok." Penny slipped herself lower, a deep moan escaping her lips as she did.

Ruby moaned, matching her girlfriend. "Wow. Penny!"

"That's nice." Penny agreed, trying to keep herself at a steady pace despite how nice it felt.

Ruby's grip on Penny's hips tightened as she strived to keep herself from bucking up. "Penny!"

"I love you." Penny whispered, bottoming out in the perfect little sexy moan.

"M- may I move?" Ruby gritted her teeth, having a harder and harder time staying still as Penny's walls clamped and massaged down around her.

"Yes~ Please!" Penny whimpered with a mild roll of her hips, the stretch feeling perfect, just so much that it didn't hurt in any way she didn't want.

Ruby's hips rocked up, her mind melting as she felt Penny's drenched labia grinding against the base of her clit and her hips.

"Ruby." Penny whimpered, trying to find just the right angle.

"Yes?" Ruby replied through heavy breaths.

"K… kiss me?"

"Gods yes. Please!" Ruby leaned up, one hand grabbing at the back of Penny's neck and pulling her in for a deep kiss. Together, they both grew louder, exchanging tender cries of love into the other's lips as their hips sped up, finding a better and better angle with each moment. Ruby, inexperienced, and still unaccustomed to any of the new sensations, felt herself approaching a climax once more first. "Penny."

"That's it, don't stop. Please. Just like that." Penny urged in between loving and desperate kisses.

"Penny, I'm getting close." Ruby whispered back, kissing in between pants.

"Little, little longer love." Penny pleaded back, her climax too growing imminent.

Ruby, wanting to climax with her lover, took one hand and used it to rub delicate little circles on Penny's clit. Penny's mouth dropped open, the added sensation more than enough to drive her over the edge. Her walls clamped down around Ruby, sucking her in and massaging her in the best way. Ruby kissed back breathless, her climax ruining her as Penny's did her. For a moment, they kept there, in their precarious position, sharing the loving kiss for even a moment past their bodies' rapture. Gravity, however, worn out eventually. The two collapsed back down into the bed. They clung to each other, their warmth a shared existence between the two lovers.

It wouldn't be long before they fell asleep. Cuddling, snuggling, and even those perfect soft post-orgasm kisses all culminate in the most restful sleep. Ruby, although she had the acceptance of her lover, would still feel those small pangs of dysphoria. Still have those days. That feeling that tugging at her heart that it wasn't right, that she wasn't right. But now she had someone, a lover to remind her. She is a woman, no amount of dysphoria, anxiety, worry, or even bigotry could ever change that. On those bad days, Penny would be there. And Penny would never have a shortage of supportive words, kisses, and love.

End of Chapter 4

Author's note: This story is for all my trans sisters. (all the better if any enby or male trans folk enjoyed or found solace in this) Even on the days, you don't feel as feminine as you are, you are deserving of love. I know dysphoria can be horrible, but things do get better. This was a really hard one to write, it took me back to a place when I did think like Ruby does in this fic. I just really hope this helps someone else accept themselves or that someone can find solace in this wholesome smut.

If you enjoyed, you can always check out my Tumblr to find more and to find out the best way to support me and my work. Maybe even get to see some stuff early tumblr: hopefulbadgerjunara