IV.

The sound of quiet voices wakes him from a dark dream. Poe listens, but they are far away, whispering in the blackness. He opens his eyes, and finds himself blinking away bright light in confusion. There is a steady beeping sound nearby, and he shuts his eyes against the light and sound, trying to remember where he was, what happened…

He'd got them back to the Y-wing and into the air. And somehow, he'd even set course for the base and sent out a distress call to the Falcon. Yet he wasn't in the cockpit anymore, and he wasn't on the Falcon, which meant that unless the First Order had him strapped down somewhere, he'd made it back to the base. Home.

"Rey?' he calls out, panic filling his lungs. The beeping is grows louder, and then someone is holding his hand, calling his name, and Poe opens his eyes once more, squinting against the light. Finn is beside him, his voice calm and telling him to focus, to breathe, because he's okay, he's going to be okay, he's home.

Poe stares into his eyes and believes him, and little by little, his heart settles and the panic recedes. "Rey?" he asks again, and Finn nods.

"She's all right. Better than you, that's for sure."

"What?" Poe asks. He tries to sit up, but Finn puts a hand on his chest. Poe shakes his head and keeps pushing, forcing Finn to help him up. Once he's sitting, he glances around the small area they've sectioned off for medical. Rey is in a bed next to him.

"She fell asleep again a little while ago," Finn tells him. "She was up long before you, even had something to eat. We've been sitting around, waiting for you." He says it lightly, but Poe doesn't feel it, can almost sense Finn's worry.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I don't understand. Why've I been asleep for so long? What happened? How did we even get here?"

Finn frowns. "How much do you remember?"

"I remember feeling pretty shit by the time we were ready to take off," Poe admits. "But I figured it was a hard adrenaline crash more than anything. I got us up, set the course, and called for help."

"And we got the call," says Finn. "But when we signaled you, there was no answer. We ended up finding you at the edge of the system and pulling you in with us."

"How'd you land the Y-wing?" Never mind the details, what about the ship? They couldn't afford to lose even one junker.

"Not well," Finn admits. "But well enough we can use it again. Jess is already tinkering."

Poe is silent, thinking about the timeline of it all. "How long?" he asks. "How long since we got back?"

"Yesterday morning," Finn tells him. "You were both in pretty bad shape."

"Rey?" Poe asks. He feels like a broken droid. "These things, they took her down a cliff, hurt her pretty bad."

"Yeah, they did," Finn replies. "She told us as much as she remembered. She had a serious injury to her leg, a concussion, and several of internal injuries. You patched up everything else pretty well."

"And me?" asked Poe. "Why was I out of it so long? Why can't I remember how we even got here?"

Finn frowns again, places his hand on top of Poe's again. "Can you move your leg?" he asks. "Your left leg?"

Which is when Poe realizes he can't. He knows it's there, can in fact sense it, but he can't move it. Another wave of panic washes over him. "What happened? Why can't I move my leg?"

"It's some kind of poison," Finn tells him. "There was a puncture wound on your thigh, do you remember it happening?"

Poe struggles to remember the flight up the cliff back to the ship. He'd taken out the entire pack of nighthunters except one, a scout waiting on the rocks for him. It had attacked and he had managed to kill it, but not before it had sunk something sharp from its tail into his thigh.

"Yeah," he says. "One of 'em got me on the way back to the ship. So there's something in their tails?"

"It causes paralysis," Finn tells him. "And it's taking its time wearing off." Poe closes his eyes and tries not to think about walking again, or flying, when he feels Finn's hand squeeze his and holds tight to it this time. "You'll walk fine, Poe, and fly. It should only be another day or two until it all clears your system."

Poe opens his eyes and smiles. "Picking up some tips from Dr. Kalonia?" he asks lightly, and Finn grins back.

"We do both spend a lot of time here, you know."

"Don't remind me," Poe murmurs, then blows out a long breath. "Well, it was a complete bust, except for Rey. She found someold Jedi stuff, before it all went to hell."

"And you came back with a lightsaber," Finn says, taking his hand back and crossing his arms over his chest like a school teacher about to deliver a lecture. "Giving up flying, then?"

"Uh, no way," Poe tells him with an embarrassed laugh. "The things that got us—"

"Rey said you called them nighthunters."

"That'd be my guess," Poe replies. "The nighthunters definitely liked her better, and I'm pretty sure it's a Force thing. I used the saber to get their attention."

Finn pulls up a chair. The noise wakes Rey, who sits up and smiles at Poe, a radiant, happy smile, and for once, it's for him, not Finn. "Poe!" she exclaims. "You're awake!" She throws off her blanket and hobbles over to his bed, embracing him tightly. Poe looks at Finn in surprise; Finn rolls his eyes.

"She's been asking about you almost as much as you asked about her when you woke up," he grumbles. "Poe this and Poe that."

"I tend to have that effect on people," he laughs, and she pulls away. She wiggles into place at the end of the bed and rubs his leg. He can feel it, but not respond to it, and he frowns at the reminder.

"You'll walk," she tells him. "But it got you good."

"It was one sting," Poe complains. "You fell down a cliff into a pile of snarling Force beasts and almost died, and still woke up before me."

"You pushed yourself too hard," she tells him quietly, reaching for his hand. "I don't know how you did it, and I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough."

Finn is watching them again, pulls his chair closer and sets his hand next to Poe's free one, fingers brushing, as if claiming a part of him as well. "What happened?" he asks. "After Rey got hurt and you made it back to the cave?"

Poe groans, not particularly wanting to relive it, but then again, Rey was unconscious and probably deserves to know. So he tells them how he barricaded the cave, kept watch over her. She remembers most of that, nods and smiles, gives him a knowing look at one point, as if she remembers their talk about a certain ex-Stormtrooper. He's glad she doesn't say anything.

"Then you passed out for good," he says. "And that was it, I had to get you out no matter what. So I set off some flash grenades to distract the nighthunters and ran up the cliff. Used the lightsaber to get their attention and draw them away, blew up a couple of those old power cells on top of 'em so I could pick them off easier. When I got to the top of the cliff, one of them got me, but I sliced him in half." He grins at Rey. "Not that I plan on carrying a saber anytime soon, but it might have been a little bit cool."

"That's amazing!" she says. "Then what? You didn't carry me up the cliff, I know that."

"I made it to the ship," he tells them. "I brought it down to the canyon and got you into the gunner's seat. As soon as we hit the atmosphere, I set course for home and sent a message to the Falcon."

"And passed out completely," adds Finn in that dry way he has. "Kriff, you two. I have never been so scared as when they popped open that canopy and found you both unconscious."

Rey reaches for his hand. "We're all right, thanks to you finding us and bringing us in."

"Hey, where's BB-8?" asks Poe. "He was with you on the Falcon, right?"

"He's with Jess looking at the Y-wing," says Finn. "We shooed him away when he couldn't stop sad beeping at your bedside. I think he wanted to make you a new leg from his own spare parts."

Poe laughs out loud, and Finn grins. "How was your mission, then?" Poe asks. "Find anything?"

"No luck for us either, but at least we didn't get routed by a bunch of puppies."

"Hey, they were big, ugly, vicious monster dogs," Poe tells him, and Rey nods in agreement. "I think we did pretty well considering the odds."

They are silent for a moment, comfortable and warm and safe, and Poe is about to ask Rey about her Jedi book when she cocks her head as if she heard something, then leaves her seat at the end of the bed. "I'm going to let BB-8 know you're awake," she tells them, and grabs a crutch to limp from the room before either of them can say anything. Poe wonders if he said something wrong and frowns at the door before turning to Finn.

Finn, who is looking at him fondly, yet also with exasperation. He shakes his head before Poe can even ask.

"She's just being Rey, always running off for some reason or another. You'll get used to it." He raises an eyebrow. "Especially after spending so much time together."

Poe grins, enjoying the disgruntled look on Finn's face, even if it is for the wrong reasons. "Yeah, I'm sorry you didn't get to go to the hell planet with the bad weather and dead Jedi and ugly monsters."

"Oh, that's not what I mean," Finn says, literally waving aside his comment. "I'm kind of surprised you didn't kill each other before the dogs tried."

"They weren't dogs," Poe said. "And we got along fine, Finn. Nothing to worry about."

Finn glances at the door, lowers his voice. "I think she was really worried about you, pal. Being out so long—you scared us both."

"I was worried about her," Poe admits. "She's one of the strongest people I know, and when she was lying there…all I could think about was losing her. Telling you I'd lost her."

Finn presses his lips together. "I'm glad you're okay," he says, and this time he leans closer. "You know that, right?"

Poe can see the honesty in Finn's eyes and swallows thickly. He remembers what he told Rey, when they were talking in the cave—about her relationship with Finn, his relationship with Finn. How it wasn't like that for either of them, but that he'd thought about it. She'd asked him why he didn't say anything to Finn, do anything, and he'd told her he was focused on the war. On the Resistance. On making the galaxy a place where one day, he could say something, do something.

Yet it is at times like this—those near-death experiences he seems to rack up almost weekly—that Poe wavers on his commitment. When he wants something more than just fighting and flying, because what if he doesn't make it back one day? What if Finn doesn't? Then he'll never have the chance to say anything, to do anything. To see what living could really be like, when war doesn't hang over them every day.

He suddenly realizes why Rey had brought up his parents. They'd been talking about Finn, and she'd asked about his parents fighting in the Rebellion. And he'd told her about them, never making the connection. His parents had fought together and found love in the midst of war. They had even lived their lives for a time together after. So it was certainly possible. Maybe Rey had been trying to point that out to him.

He isn't sure if it is enough, though. Poe may think about the future, sometimes in a ridiculously sentimental way that would surprise most people who knew him, but he has lived with the Resistance long enough to know that for now, he must live in the moment. Which means setting aside the things he may want in the future in order to make sure that future can happen. He's not going to pursue a relationship with anyone, let alone Finn, until the future is real and tangible, something he can look forward to, not fear.

Poe smiles at Finn, ignoring the unexpected feeling of loss in his chest as he sets aside the possibilities once more. "I know," he says. "And you know, I'm okay thanks to you."

"I only brought your ship back," Finn tells him. "You did all the hard work."

"As I often do," Poe teases. "But I couldn't finish half of what I do without you."

Finn narrows his eyes, opens his mouth, closes it, and seems to decide what to say. "Then it's a good thing you've got me," he says softly, and he once more lays his hand on Poe's.

Poe is unexpectedly moved and has to look away. When he glances back, he sees something in Finn's eyes that almost, almost, makes him throw everything he'd said to Rey out the window, because maybe he's not the only one who's thought about it. About them. But Poe knows better. He may take the big risks in everything else he does, but this is not something to risk. This is Finn, this is their friendship, this is his own heart. He wants it, yes, but not now. Not yet. Not until they win.

"It's a really good thing I've got you," he murmurs back, and when his voice breaks, he clears his throat and hides it with a grin. "Though I'm sorry you're stuck with me. I tend to get into trouble a lot." Finn laughs and shakes his head. Poe squeezes his fingers to get his attention, turning serious once more. "I would do anything for you, you know that, right?"

"I know," says Finn. And there is that moment again, when Poe wavers, and he's so close to saying something, anything, but is saved by the frantic beeping of BB-8 rolling into the room and zooming back and forth before the bed. Finn grins and Poe laughs as he listens to the droid's questions, to how scared he was, what was Poe doing with a lightsaber, did he need any spare parts, and on and on.

Finn picks up the droid and deposits him on the bed, causing it to sink a little lower, which makes Poe laugh even harder as he rubs the top of BB-8's head and reassures him he's all right. Finn watches with what Poe imagines is a fond look. He hopes it is. He shares a smile with Finn, almost opens his mouth to say something again, but then Snap and Jess and C'ai tumble in, and Rey limping behind them, and then Dr. Kalonia, and even Leia, a rare smile on her face.

The moment is lost, but that's all right. Poe talks and laughs with his friends and vows that he will keep fighting until the end, until sitting in the medbay after another mission gone wrong is just a memory, and instead they can sit around and celebrate simply being together in peace, and not war. And Poe hopes more than anything that Finn will be there, still by his side.

Author's Note:

I didn't think there would be so much of Finn and Poe at the end, but Finn was upset, and Poe had some Deep Thoughts after everything he went through with Rey, so there it is. And now I feel better about moving it to the Poe/Finn tag! I hope you enjoyed this story. Let a girl know what you thought? Thank you for reading!