Yay, another update! And I'm getting even more research now thanks to a few systems who are helping me get all my notes back. So this is even more scarily accurate than before! YAY! Anyway, on with the story.

TW: co-hosting, switching, body dysphoria

Chapter 15-Square One (Elsa, Astra)

Elsa woke up the next morning and stumbled out of bed. With a rather confused glance, she found her leg was in a cast along with her arm. "When did this happen? How?" She rubbed her head, sighing. Maybe her mom would know? She grabbed the near by crutches and hobbled from her room. Elsa looked around, not seeing her mom anywhere. She glanced to the clock on the wall. "Hm, it's a little past noon. Maybe she's at work. It is…I think Tuesday." It was Tuesday, wasn't it? Elsa wasn't too sure. She hobbled to the kitchen to make herself some food. It wasn't easy but she managed to get some left over lasagna from the fridge and heat it in the microwave. When had lasagna been made? Elsa couldn't recall ever eating it recently. Thinking about it now, Elsa couldn't recall when she had last eaten. Was the t.v. on? Elsa could hear faint chatter. She took a glance in the living room but the television was off. Where was the chatter coming from? While the microwave heated up her food, Elsa sat in a dining chair and listened, trying to hone in on the conversation.

'...cheese…'

Cheese?!

'…kids…nothing…'

'…ducks…water…What's that?'

What kind of program was on the t.v.? Maybe her mom had left the t.v. in her room on before going to work. Elsa yawned and stretched, wincing as her arm ached. Her foot started tapping and Elsa stared at it. Why was it tapping? Now her hand was swaying back and forth. Was she doing that? No, she wasn't. Was it just a muscle spasm? Elsa tried to make her hand and foot stop but it didn't work.

'I'm bored. Let's do something fun!'

Who was that? Elsa looked around, having heard it right next to her, it seemed. No one was around, though. "Well of course no one is around. I'm home alone. At least I think I am." Elsa scratched her head and found her hands started playing with her hair. "Hey, stop it!" Elsa frowned, irritated with her self moving hands. The microwave beeped and Elsa sighed as her hands were hers again. "Maybe I'm still asleep." Elsa hobbled up and reached in the microwave, yelping as she touched the hot dish. "Nope, I'm awake." She waved her hands and blew on them.

'Hot water draws out the burn.'

That was an oddly specific thought from out of nowhere. Elsa shrugged it off and ran her hands under hot water. "Well, that was helpful."

'You're welcome.'

Okay, now it was just getting creepy. Who was that? How did they know what she was doing? Was there a new security camera installed in the house that did audio? No, that wasn't her mom's voice. Then who was that? Now a little confused, Elsa grabbed a hand towel from the sink and took her food from the microwave. Sitting down, she started to eat when the fork was dropped and her hands crossed.

'There's too much fat in that. I'm not eating that.'

'You need to let Elsa eat otherwise she'll be hungry. And nothing productive is done on an empty stomach.'

'I never see you eat.'

'I'm far too busy taking care of all of you to do so. I will when I can, don't worry.'

'Who's she talking to?'

'Just an imaginary friend. Arcy doesn't need to worry.'

Arcy? Who the hell was that? Why did Elsa eating concern these people? Where were they? Who were they? Elsa grumbled and dropped her head on the table, aggravated. "I'm hearing voices, great. I'm going crazy." With a huge sigh, Elsa picked up the fork again. So far, so good. She ate a mouthful and then another. It was so tasty, so why did her stomach turn?

'Too much cheese and oregano. I don't like it.'

"Who the hell…?" Elsa's language slipped as she shook her head slightly. Why did someone else liking it matter when she was the one eating it? Elsa no longer felt an appetite and pushed the plate aside, leaning on the table. A dull headache pulsed behind her right temple, making Elsa a little irritable. "Where is Mom?" She left the table, grabbed her crutch and wobbled to the living room. With a sigh, she turned the t.v on and began channel surfing. She went to the Disney Channel and was caught up in a few minutes of watching a show when the channel changed again. "Wait, what?" Her fingers clicked the channel button again until the channel stopped on the Discovery channel. "I don't want to watch this network, it's all boring!" She tried to change it again but her hand wasn't moving. "Come on, this is just some boring stuff about murder investigations!" Elsa kept trying to change the channel but gave up after a minute. "Fine, I guess I'm stuck watching this." She huffed and sat back, only to have her legs cross. "What is going on with me today? Are my body parts revolting against me or something?" She turned her attention to the program. It was about a couple who had been fighting physically for a while and the woman was found dead with blood on her head. Elsa twitched, uncomfortable with what she was seeing. The scene showed that the woman was surrounded by broken glass and blood. "No, I don't want to see this. I don't like blood…" Elsa pulled on her bangs, hiding her eyes. "Blood is gross and means something bad. Almost always something bad…"

The door opened and Diane walked in, surprised to see her daughter up. "Oh, you're up!" She tilted her head when Elsa sat there for a minute, fidgeting. Was she switching? Diane raised an eyebrow and walked up to Elsa. "Elsa? You there?"

She blinked and looked to Diane, her posture changing. She went from slouching with her arms crossed to sitting straight with her legs together and laid off to the left a little. "I don't believe we've formally met before. I'm Astrania. I would qualify as the caretaker altar. I watch over everyone and make sure things are alright."

Diane blinked. "Uh, hello. Nice to meet you." She sat on the couch, slouching over. "How is Elsa doing?"

"Not too well. It would seem the encounter with her demonic altar and the aftermath have sent her into denial. She no longer accepts her diagnosis. And Kiri took over the t.v. however the program on triggered Elsa into switching. Thus, here I am."

Diane sighed, processing it all. "So square one again?"

"Unfortunately. I have noticed in the void that there are little pieces floating around. I'm not too sure what it means so I've been observing them carefully. I hope it isn't an underlying problem."

"Same. So, what do we do now? How can we help Elsa?" Diane rubbed her eyes, confused but wanting to help her daughter.

"For now, all we can do is keep going to sessions. I'll tell the other altars to leave notes. Maybe we could start a journal and keep track of what we do during the day. Leave it somewhere Elsa is guaranteed to find it. Perhaps that would help." Astrania ran a hand through her hair. "Are there any spare diary like books laying around?"

Diane laid her head against the back of the couch. "No but I can go get one. Any preferred style?"

Multiple voices rang out inaudibly but Astra brushed off their comments. "I think it's best to get one that is plain. Everyone has their own taste, so one that can have pages decorated to taste are best. But a plain covered diary would be wonderful."

Diane nodded. "Alright. So, Astrania, what is your role in Elsa's world?"

"I am the caretaker and gatekeeper." Astra slightly smiled as Diane raised an eyebrow. "A caretaker is the one who keeps all the altars and even the core cared for. I also see that the right person fronts when certain situations arise and cause triggers. Like how just now, Elsa couldn't handle the sight of blood. Normally, I'd have Kiri come but she is getting much needed rest. Arcy is napping, Anna and Aya are out on their own day. So, seeing as others were unavailable, I myself chose to front."

Diane scratched her head and sighed. "It must get complicated having to look after everyone."

"It does, but that's just part of my job. No one said it was easy."

"I'd imagine. Well, I'll be back. I'm guessing the sooner the diary is bought, the sooner we can help our little Snowflake, right?" Diane stretched as she stood and walked to the kitchen counter. "I'll be back in around 10 minutes. There's a nearby book store that has tons of diaries. Don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone," she joked, waving to Astra as she grabbed her keys and left.

'What was that about?'

"Oh, well good afternoon, Kiri. Do you feel better after your rest?"

'Sort of. Nightmares don't really help. I'm 25, you'd figure I wouldn't be plagued with such things.'

"It can't be helped. You sound a little more distant than usual. What's wrong?"

'My depression is really getting to me today. I need a drink.'

"Just don't overdo it. You know that alcohol is a depressant."

Kiri groaned. 'Yeah, yeah, I know.'

Astra shook her head a little and walked back into Elsa's room. She stopped, staring at her hand. It was smaller than normal. Was she in her own body? No, not right now. That was something that she would need to adjust to. Once in Elsa's room, the closet was the next destination. She rifled through the clothes until she found a top that came off the shoulders and a pair of black capri pants. She went into the bathroom and stopped in front of the mirror, staring at the reflection. She had never fronted before so she hadn't expected to feel such detachment from the body she was in. Normally, Astra stood about five foot ten or so, but she was at least half that height now. Instead of emerald green eyes, sapphire blue eyes stared back at her. Snowy white hair replaced the usual fire red Astra was used to seeing on herself. She tilted her head back and forth a few times, trying to be sure that it was her and not Elsa in the mirror. Her hands raised and fell, she turned around several times. But no matter how many times she saw the same movements reflected back at her, she never felt like she was in the body. There was a pale strawberry blonde on the tips of Elsa's hair, probably from when Anna had dyed Elsa's hair. But other than that, no sign that anyone else inhabited the little body. Astra placed her hand on the mirror, in a hope that maybe a physical connection could make her feel more grounded to the body she was in. But to no avail.

'White lady! White lady! She's scared!'

Astra expected to feel the weight of Arcy jump on her back as she was accustomed to, but it never came. "What's wrong, Arcy?"

'She had bad dreams! About the dark lady and the shocks and the blood…She's scared, Nia! She's scared that dark wings will come back!'

That wasn't what those floating pieces were, was it? Not little fragments of Nassiri waiting for a trigger to form into a whole again….Astra pulled her thoughts from that unpleasant possibility and returned to Arcy. "Dark wings won't come back, Arcy. They're gone for good. And even if they do return, I'll protect her. Nothing will happen to Arcy."

'Shadows scare her, too. Anything can hide in darkness. Silence is best, she can hear what's going on.'

"I'll make sure you have a nightlight in your room. There won't be any darkness that can get you."

'I hear noise, who is it? Is it dark wings?'

"Arcana, everything is okay. Dark wings are gone. What you hear is someone else who lives with us in the castle. She is getting something to eat. Kiri is a good person, she helps to protect Arcy as well."

'Are you sure she's good?'

"Positive."

Arcy seemed to pause in thought for a minute. 'Okay, she'll trust Nia. Nia has never let her down. Not like others have. Nia is good and white and love and safety.'

That made Astra smile. "I'm glad I mean so much to her, sweetie."

Arcy hummed and it echoed as she went back to the castle.

"Okay, I have it!" Diane raised her eyebrows, surprised at the jump that Astra did. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh no, it's quite alright. I was just talking with a few others while you were gone. Thank you, though. This will greatly help Elsa understand what goes on in her life when she's not around."

"I hope so. A shame that she's seemed to regress, though," Diane frowned.

"It's only natural with serious medical conditions like this. You don't really want to believe it's happening and other explanations are easier to accept. Would you want to accept that you're living with other people that are all in your head but can control your body at anytime?"

"You mean like that?" Diane pointed to Astra's hands, which were already searching for something to write with.

"Yep. I think it's Arcy who's trying to draw in the diary. She can't stand blank pages." Astra walked to the desk and sat, letting Arcy find the markers in the desk drawer. "Arcy has to fill pages with something. If it's blank, that means that anything can happen. And anything could be good or bad. So, she draws to be sure that she knows no surprises will come." She looked down to see that Arcy was drawing a picture of a crying girl strapped to a table, dark wings hanging above. There were lightning bolts and tears, which probably meant that she had dreamt of when Nassiri tortured her. 'Poor girl, such horrific memories. Who knows what Nassiri did to you before I came along.' She shook the thoughts and let Arcana continue her drawings. Without even asking, each drawing was signed. Astra sighed and leaned back when Arcy stopped. "I'll write to tell Elsa who did this." She took the pen in her left hand and began writing. She started by writing on the cover, naming the book. She decided to call it "The Missing Pieces." With a somewhat fitting title, she turned passed the first three pages of Arcy's front and back drawings and began a new entry.

'Little Snowflake,

You don't know me yet but that's alright. I'm a friend. Those drawings were done by someone else who's a friend. You don't need to worry. This diary will help you fill in all the missing pieces of your life. You may not know it, but you are very gifted and loved. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. In time, you'll come to understand everything. For now, just call me your guardian angel. I'll always be here.

-Nia, Friday August 5th, 2016.'

She set the diary down and laid on the bed, still feeling a little detached from the body. Perhaps the feeling would go away in the morning. For now, she needed to make sure that Arcana had a light in her room and the noise was at least toned down. She closed her eyes and went to the inner world, hoping Elsa would feel better soon.

What a chapter huh? Things are getting even better in terms of being interesting. Hope you enjoyed this new chapter! Work has been crazy but I have been typing. Until next time, peace!