I started working on this gem sometime last week, and wrote it in tandem with chapter two of my other story. This was just a stupid idea I had that I felt needed to be shared. I hope you enjoy.
I don't own One Piece or Miraculous Ladybug.
"Ah, eyes as blue as the crystal clear ocean, the blueberry flavor will do. Lips pink as sweet strawberry to top it off." Andre said, and placed a scoop of strawberry ice cream on top of the scoop of blueberry. He handed the ice cream cone to the young teen, who gladly paid him what was owed.
Today was proving to be very profitable for the ice cream vendor. Of course, having his stand stationed on a summer island made sure many days were good business days. Heatwaves were not uncommon which meant people flocked to his stand for hopes of a small reprieve from the sun's rays, even if they didn't fully believe that Andre could see someone's true love just by looking into their eyes. Andre was a hopeless romantic who had a natural talent for spotting signs of affection hidden away in one's heart. Those sparks of love spoke to him, and he answered in kind by giving away the appropriate flavors to represent that special someone.
"Look! Ice Cream! Come on guys! Let's get some!" an excited yell made Andre turn to see a group of ten individuals making their way towards him.
The one who had spoken was an excitable looking young lad wearing a straw hat, and had a horrible burn scar in the shape of an 'X' on his chest. Despite this horrible looking old wound, the boy had a bright smile on his face. He was quickly followed by another boy, looking to be around the same age, who had a comically long nose. Right behind him were two gorgeous women, one with orange hair, and one with black hair. The black haired one was carrying a raccoon dog, who looked like he was melting in the hot sun. A blond man with a swirly eyebrow, was trailing after the two women like a love struck puppy. Right behind him was a green haired swordsman, who was grumbling something under his breath. The three taking up the end of the trail were a fishman, a cyborg, and a living skeleton of all things. Andre felt a brief flash of recognition, like he'd seen them somewhere before. He couldn't put his finger on where, though.
"That's not a bad idea. Chopper could use a little break from all the heat." The black haired woman said, and the raccoon dog, now known as Chopper, groaned in agreement.
"I think we all could. This heat wave is insane." The orange haired woman said while fanning herself.
"I could help fan you off, sweet Nami!" The blond guy swooned, and the woman, Nami, politely declined.
"I'm not a big fan of sweets, but even I would agree to some ice cream at this point." the cyborg said.
"I agree with Franky. Ice Cream sounds good right now." the swordsman spoke up.
"The sun is so intense, I feel like all my skin will shrivel up in this heat. Ah, but I don't have any skin to shrivel! Yohohoho!" the skeleton joked, and the two boys at the front of the group laughed.
"Well, what are we waiting for?!" the long nosed kid asked after his laughter died down. They all rapidly approached the ice cream stand, with the straw hatted kid and long nosed kid right up front.
"Hey, old man! What kind of flavors do you have?" the kid wearing the hat asked with an eager smile.
"I have all kinds, but this is a special ice cream stand." Andre informed the group, and many of them looked on with interest.
"So this is the ice cream stand I've heard so much about." the black haired woman said after a second of silence.
"What have you heard, Robin?" Nami asked.
"Apparently the gentleman running this stand can see your true love reflected in your eyes, and gives you the flavors that best represent them. Am I correct?" she asked, with a glint of intrigue in her eyes.
"That is correct, miss." Andre smiled. He was met with varying looks of both interest and doubt.
"Alright, let's test this. What flavors will you give me?" the long nosed kid challenged. Andre looked deep into his eyes, and saw a reflection of a pretty blond girl in them.
"Ah, I see. Mocha flavor for the light brown hue of her eyes for the first scoop. Topped off with vanilla to represent her pale complexion." Andre said, and handed the cone over to the shocked boy. He looked at the cone in awe before he gazed back at Andre.
"I knew you had a thing for Kaya." the swordsman teased, and the long nosed boy blushed before using the tiny spoon to get a bit of his ice cream.
"And for you, Straw hat-"
"Oh, I don't care about that. Do you have any meat flavors?" Straw hat interrupted Andre.
The rest of the group chuckled in fond amusement, and Andre looked at the boy stunned. It wasn't the question that threw him off, however strange it was to be asked about a meat flavor. No, it was the fact that all he saw in the boys eyes were a reflection of different foods, meat specifically. It was rare to see someone who didn't have even the tiniest crush on someone else. Sure there were those who didn't have one, but he only ever came across someone like that once before. He shook himself, and tried to think of something that went with meat.
"I don't have any meat flavors. How about we do raspberry to represent the redness before cooking it, and chocolate to represent the brownness after?" Andre suggested.
"Yeah, that sounds good." the kid agreed. He accepted his ice cream, and joined his friend off to the side.
"My turn." Nami said with a smile.
Andre shrugged off the weird encounter. He turned to look into the young lady's eyes, only to be met with tangerines and money. Two in a row?! He expected Straw Hat to be only one he saw for a while.
"Well? What do you see?" Nami asked after a moment of silence.
"Oh, please let it be me reflected in her eyes." the blond guy begged the sky.
"Fat chance, love cook." the swordsman grumbled.
"What did you say, mosshead?!" the blond all but yelled.
"Did the sun melt what little brains you have? I said you don't stand a chance, you crappy chef." the swordsman said a bit louder.
"You wanna go, shitty swordsman?!" the blond, to Andre's shock, erupted into flames that didn't seem to be harming him in any way. The swordsman pulled out two of his blades, and they began to fight. Nami stormed over to the two, and smacked a fist into each of their skulls.
"Knock it off, you two!" she yelled at them.
"Yes, Nami Swan." the blond, no longer on fire, agreed with a heart in his eye. The swordsman grumbled something as he stood up. Straw Hat's laughter could be heard from the bench he and long nose were sitting on. Nami walked back over to Andre with a bright smile.
"I'm so sorry about that. Where were we?" she asked. Andre wiped the surprised look on his face, and returned the smile.
"Your flavors, miss, are tangerine to represent, well, tangerines. The second scoop will be pineapple to represent the shine of gold." Andre handed the ice cream over.
"Yeah, that sounds about right." Andre heard the long nosed kid say, and Straw Hat laughed again.
Nami walked over to the bench the other two were sitting at, and Robin stepped forward with Chopper in her arms. Neither said anything as they waited for Andre. The ice cream vendor decided to look at Chopper first. He had to fight to get past the haze of being overheated, but he was able to find what he was looking for. Apparently it was the norm for this group to not have a person reflected in their eyes, because he saw a variety of sweets glistening in the animal's pupils.
"For your tiny friend, birthday cake flavor for the base, and cotton candy flavor to rest on top." Andre said as he scooped up the ice cream.
He held the cone out, and widened his eyes in surprise when two arms sprouted from Robin's left elbow. One of the new hands grabbed the cone, and the other used the small spoon to feed Chopper.
"Thank you, Robin." Chopper sighed out in relief as the woman continued to feed her small companion.
Andre looked into Robin's eyes, and found a deep love of history and knowledge reflected in them. He stroked his chin in deep thought. He normally went off of appearances, but every now and then a certain trait would pop out that would require him to think outside the box. Robin would be his greatest challenge yet.
"Hmmm. Yes. You are a tough one to figure out, but I think I know just the flavors." Andre opened up a special compartment that held flavors solely for his adult customers. "The base will be a scoop of my finest wine ice cream. This represents your love of history as wine only gets better with age. The top scoop will be blueberry. Blueberries are known to help with memory and learning, and this represents your love of knowledge."
"Fine choices, indeed." Robin said with a mysterious smile as she sprouted two more arms from her right elbow. She used those to feed herself in much the same manner as she fed Chopper.
She walked over to the bench, and the blond guy walked up. Andre looked in his visible eye, and took a step back as his head swirled with glimpses of countless women. It was as if this guy fell in love with every pretty woman he has ever seen in his entire life. Sometimes he'd come across a womanizer who had two or three women glimmering in his eyes, but this took the cake by far.
"Hey. Are you alright, old geezer?" the blond asked as Andre tried to gather his bearings.
"Good job, dart board brow. You broke the ice cream vendor." the swordsman commented.
"You wanna repeat that you toothpick wielding chia pet?!" the blond shouted, and the two resumed their fight from earlier. Andre covered his face with his hands, and overheard Nami break up the fighting duo once again. After things settled down, Andre came to a decision.
"The base of your ice cream will be blackberry to represent Robin's hair. The second scoop will be mango to represent Nami's hair." Andre said and quickly handed the ice cream over. He avoided eye contact out of fear that he'd be overwhelmed again.
"Nami! Robin! Look! You're both on my ice cream!" the blond guy cheered as he literally danced over to the women.
"Moron." the green haired swordsman, mumbled. The blond was, thankfully, out of earshot so no further fight came between the two.
Andre looked into his eye, and internally sighed as he saw a reflection of sake. The long nosed kid was the only one to have a normal reflection so far.
"Two scoops of sake flavor for you." Andre said, and he heard several slaps as a large portion of the group facepalmed at the choice.
"As if Zoro needs more booze in his system." Nami complained from her spot on the bench. The man he was serving looked rather pleased on the other hand, and gladly took the cone.
The cyborg walked up, and lifted his sunglasses so Andre could see his eyes. He had to lift his chin pretty high to see them. Much like Zoro, he spotted the desired flavor almost immediately.
"And two scoops of cola flavor for you." Unlike with Zoro, no facepalms were heard. Instead everyone shook their heads fondly.
"Alright! I got the most super flavor!" Franky struck a pose, before he straightened up. He held his palm face up, and a smaller, robotic hand came out of his much larger one. Andre could only stare, dumbfounded as the small hand grabbed the cone. The cyborg walked off, and Andre shook off his surprise. This had to be the strangest group he has ever served.
The fishman was next. He had yet to say much of anything, as he seemed content to watch his crewmates riff off of each other. Andre looked into his eyes, and saw a concept gleam in his pupils, much like Robin. He saw a desire for fishmen and humans to get along, and Andre smiled softly at the noble wish.
"You, my friend, are one in a million. Your first scoop will be sea salt ice cream to represent the ocean. The top flavor will be mint chocolate chip to represent the grass and dirt on land. This whole cone represents land and sea coming together as one earth. Not many people are happy with this concept, and you have my deepest respect." Andre couldn't help but say, and the fishman smiled warmly.
"I wish that more humans and fishmen thought like you." he said before taking his cone.
Andre watched him walk over to his friends, and turned to his last customer: the living skeleton. Much like Franky, he removed his sunglasses for Andre to gaze into his sockets. The lack of eyes made it difficult to spot anything though.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Skeleton-"
"Oh, please, call me Brook." he interrupted.
"Brook. Do you mind leaning closer? I'm sorry, but it's hard to get a good glimpse into your sockets, especially at such a height difference." Andre asked.
"Oh, no, I don't mind at all. Ah, not that I have a mind anymore! Yohohoho!" Brook laughed and squatted down to a level where Andre didn't have to tilt his head to see. Andre gazed deeply into the black pits that held eyes at one point to see if he could spot something.
"What do you think Brook's flavors are going to be?" Andre heard Straw Hat ask.
"Maybe there's a tea flavor. The shitty skeleton loves his tea in the early mornings." the blond guy suggested.
"I wouldn't be surprised if his true love was music. He's so good at it." Franky's voice chimed in.
"What flavor would be music, though?" Straw Hat asked.
"The vendor is good at translating concepts into ice cream flavors. I'm sure he'd find something." Nami said.
"I wonder how he even learned that skill." the long nosed kid asked.
"You can find wisdom anywhere. All you have to do is look." that was the fishman.
"Maybe Brook's flavors will be poison. He likes making jokes about being dead after all." Robin's suggestion was met by a scream.
"Robin! Don't say such morbid things!" long nose shouted.
"Quiet! Please! I need to focus!" Andre called out to the group without breaking eye, or lack of eye contact.
Everyone stopped talking, and he increased his concentration tenfold. It was very unnerving to stare at someone who had no eyes, but he accepted the challenge with open arms. He tried to imagine what his eyes used to look like, and just how they fit his face. It was then that he spotted something.
"I see it!" Andre shouted, and focused on that spark. He willed for an image of a person, favorite food, concept, anything really to make itself known.
"It looks like…" he trailed off, and nearly choked on his spit when he finally got a clear picture.
"PANTIES?!" Andre couldn't help but scream at the top of his lungs. His scream was met by most of the group face faulting.
"YOU PERVERT!" Nami screamed. She was next to Brook in a heartbeat, and gave him a solid punch to his skull. Brook toppled over with the force of the impact, and a large bump appeared despite the fact that he had no skin. Straw Hat started gut laughing, and the rest of their group tried to recover from the stupidity that was Brook's 'true love'.
"I have to say, out of all of my years of being an ice cream vendor, this has to be the weirdest love I have ever seen." Andre said, and Nami sighed in frustration.
"Yeah, sorry about that. You don't have to give him any flavors for that if you don't want to." Nami said in a tone not unlike an exasperated mother.
"No. No. All of my customers get their own unique flavor combinations." Andre said, and many of the group members gave him a look that screamed, 'are you insane?'. Brook recovered from Nami's attack, and stood in front of the ice cream stand.
"Now that punch hurt so bad that I fear I may bruise. Oh, wait! I can't bruise, because I'm a skeleton! Yohohoho!" Brook's joke made the already laughing Straw Hat laugh harder.
"Alright. Now to pick an ice cream flavor for…" Andre sighed in resignation. "...panties." Straw Hat finally sounded like he was calming down, and Andre scanned his arsenal of flavors.
"Let's see. Panties, like many articles of clothing, comes in many styles and colors. So your base flavor is going to be rainbow sherbert to represent that." From the corner of his eye, Andre could tell that most of Brook's friends looked somewhere between annoyed and shocked that the vendor was actually finding a flavor set for the skeleton. He felt the same way on some level, but another larger part took pride in his trade and refused to be deterred at any cost.
"Your top scoop is going to be pervert cocktail flavor. I don't really need to explain why." Andre said, and handed the cone to the skeleton who looked more pleased than he had any right to be.
"You're really good at your job, old man!" Straw Hat complimented as the whole group came back after Brook got his ice cream.
"I gotta admit, I was pretty skeptical at first, but you managed to find out a lot about us just by staring." the long nosed boy said, now half way through his treat.
"Yep, he has it down to an art. Now pay the man, Zoro." Nami said, and the swordsman nearly choked on his bite of ice cream.
"What?! Why me?!" Zoro demanded.
"Consider it as paying off part of your debt. And don't forgot to leave a nice tip for actually doing Brook's stupid panty flavor." Nami had a predatory air about her, and the swordsman wilted.
"How much?" he asked in a defeated tone. Andre told him the amount, and Zoro wound up giving the ice cream vendor all of his money.
Andre watched the strange group walk off, and decided that he earned himself a lunch break, especially after that last combination. He closed the cart down, and walked through town square to get to his apartment. That's when he spotted the wanted poster billboard, and froze. He had a feeling he saw those people before, and now he remembered. He chuckled to himself and walked away. He couldn't wait to tell his friends that he served ice cream to the Strawhat Pirates.