Hakuda and Hoho

That night I had a dream about a frozen lake.

Once I woke up, I couldn't remember much about the dream, other than the fact that a frozen lake had been involved. As it was my first dream in living memory, I wondered if it was important.

However, I couldn't afford to waste too much time on dream interpretation, as I'd overslept and was on the verge of being late for my entrance exam. The other girls had already departed for their classes, leaving me alone in the room.

I bolted out of bed and groped hurriedly for the pile of clothes on the floor (where I'd dropped them the previous night, within easy reaching distance!) so I could get changed. As I did, something fell out of the pile and clattered loudly onto the wooden floor.

I picked it up with a delighted gasp. It was my zanpakutou, just as I remembered it! I slipped my hand over the molded grip and swung it experimentally - it made a shivering, swishing sound as it sliced through the air which I found singularly satisfying.

Aware that I had lied about having a zanpakutou already, but loath to leave it behind again, I wrapped it up in the shirt I'd worn the day before and stuck it diagonally through the belt at my back. It made a rather suspicious-looking package, but I wasn't the type to fret needlessly about the future. Also, I was already late and I still needed to find the breakfast hall.

Less than half an hour later, I was skidding through the door of the examination hall, still munching on my fifth and last slice of toast in between panting. It looked like a large, mostly empty gymnasium.

"You're late," snapped an old man from behind a long desk that ran parallel to the wall. He was sitting next to a dumpy-looking woman, and next to her was another seat - empty. I doubted it was for me, though.

I hurriedly stuffed the last bit of toast in my mouth and swallowed without chewing.

The fat woman turned her nose up at me, but I imagine she was secretly impressed by ability to pull it off without coughing or losing a crumb. It took quite a lot of skill, after all.

Thus satiated, I sent them both a winning smile, and gave an exaggerated bow. I'd seen many shinigami do it to their superiors, so I copied it as best I could.

"My apologies... I got lost," I admitted. It was true - I'd completely forgotten the instructions Hana-whatsit had given me the day before, so I'd had to ask for directions three times. I was quite proud of myself to have made it at all. Fortunately, the kind Academy students I'd met were quite happy to help me out. They'd all been male, which might have counted in my favour. I'd gotten a proper look at my face for the first time that very morning during my lightning-fast bathroom break, and I was quite pleased with what I looked like. Clear skin and a flawless complexion, pale lashes framing cerulean blue eyes. I wasn't curvy, but no one would mistake me for anything other than one hot lady once they saw me.

The old man didn't seem impressed, though. "Just come in and close the door!" he barked irritably. "We're already behind schedule by an hour."

I hurriedly obeyed, and came to stand before them. As I stood, it struck me as somewhat odd that they'd actually waited a whole hour for someone they'd never met before.

My suspicions were further raised when the old man nodded to the woman. "Inform the others that she's here." he said.

Others? It seemed that I would be getting special treatment again.

The chubby woman made a curious gesture with her hands, muttering something, and a glowing light formed between them, before changing into a black butterfly. My wide eyes followed it as it fluttered out of a high window.

"Stand up straight, girl," snapped the chubby woman, and my gaze went back to her, "We'll start the exam shortly."

"I have a name," I protested unthinkingly. I was a little hurt that they hadn't used it yet.

The old man swelled in indignation and pointed to a file lying on the desk, "Yes, so I see. What kind of name is that? How can you expect people to even pronounce it, let alone remember it? Do you think this is a joke?"

I pouted at his harsh tone, and scuffed the floor rebelliously. "Just call me Raen, then." some people just couldn't recognize creativity, it seemed.

"Then, Raen," continued the woman as if there'd been no interruption, "We see by your file that you have the potential to become a guardian in the Gotei 13, but I'm afraid potential is not good enough. We cannot allow you into this Academy, or allow you to use a zanpakutou, until you have passed this exam to our satisfaction."

Suddenly my sword wrapped clumsily in my shirt and tied to my back seemed awfully heavy. They hadn't spotted it yet, however. Perhaps my general scruffy appearance (I wasn't used to the uniform yet) and my bag slung over the hidden sword was enough to keep them from noticing.

Just then, another door, behind the examiner's table, creaked open, and I was blinded for a moment by the bright daylight contrasting with the dim interior of the hall.

When I lowered my hand from instinctively shielding my eyes, I saw that two figures were stepping into the hall, accompanied by the butterfly from earlier.

They were both very tall, and I could feel their reiatsu was on a completely different level, just like Unohana and Soifon. The man bringing up the rear had flaming red hair and weird tattoos, but it was to the first man that all my attention fell.

I couldn't help staring. He was super attractive.

The old man and chubby woman stood, bowing their heads respectfully as he wordlessly passed and seated himself gracefully in the empty chair. "Raen, this is Captain Kuchiki and Vice-Captain Abarai. They will be witnessing your exam." the Vice-Captain leaned nonchalantly against the wall, looking at me curiously.

"It's nice to meet you, Captain Kuchiki," I ventured hopefully.

But his serious gray eyes didn't even deign to look at me, instead throwing a cursory glance at my file.

"It's already late. Let's get on with this." he stated in a calm, deep voice without inflection. I felt myself go a little weak at the knees.

The old man coughed. "Ahem. As you say, Kuchiki-sama." he suddenly pulled out what looked like a remote-control, and pressed a button.

I looked around in surprise as a section of the floor slid back, and two mannequins and a small table emerged. The first mannequin was made of some squishy, dark blue material, like a punching-bag, and was vaguely shaped like a man's torso. The second was a plain wood and straw dummy. Last, the round table also rose out of the floor, on which sat what looked like an opaque, crystal ball.

"What now?" I asked the examiners.

The old man was the one to speak again. "At this Academy," he started, "We teach 4 different disciplines. You will need to display at least a basic proficiency in each before we even think of accepting you."

"Okay." I shrugged, eyes wide.

He pointed to the first mannequin, the blue squishy one. "First we will test hakudo and hoho. The art of fighting without a weapon, and agility."

I blinked. "I don't know how to fight."

The old man rolled his eyes. "Just strike the target. Agility at this stage is not an essential skill, however, speed and economy of movement will count in your favour."

I looked at the mannequin with some misgivings, and walked slowly up to it. How to hit it? I made a fist and looked down at my hand, but it didn't feel strong like I remembered from the day I'd arrived. Had my power all been sealed away when the Voice went to sleep?

"We haven't got all day." promptly the old man dryly.

I hit the target.

It barely even moved from my weak punch, which may as well have been a slap.

From the incredulous looks the old man and the chubby woman traded, it had been even more pathetic than I thought.

I gave an embarrassed laugh. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this, after all..."

That cake shop idea was looking more and more attractive.

"Renji."

My attention snapped back to the gorgeous man with the immaculate black hair. But he still hadn't looked at me.

"Captain?" the red-haired man stepped forward.

His captain gave the barest hint of a nod, and this seemed sufficient to communicate with his subordinate, because Renji (I tried to commit his first name to memory) said, "Yes, sir."

Then he strode towards me with a somewhat fierce grin. As he walked, he cracked his knuckles threateningly.

I held up my hands and stumbled backwards, my smile faltering. "H-hey - what - there's no need to-"

"Sometimes," he interrupted me, pulling his fist back, "You need a real target-"

I yelped and ducked his swing at my face.

"- to bring out your own power!"

I ducked again, feeling the air as his hand passed by lift strands of my hair. He wasn't holding back!

"Can't we talk about this?" I begged, stalling for time as I tried to think of what to do. I spun and dodged desperately, as his leg snapped out and narrowly missed my shoulder.

Beyond him, I noticed that Captain Sexyhair was finally watching, his stormy grey eyes following my movements.

It was a bad time to get distracted.

Suddenly, Renji approached too fast, and I didn't have time to dodge. My eyes widened as I saw his clenched fist getting bigger and bigger, filling my vision as it soared towards my face-

Thunk. I blinked in surprise as I realized my face was still intact. Had he stopped before hitting me?

One look at his equally shocked expression told me this was not so.

I looked between us, and suddenly noticed that my hand had stopped his - instinctively rising to protect my face, stopping his strike by catching it.

I suddenly felt the difference - the same power I'd felt one the day of my arrival was once again flowing through me, making me feel like anything was possible. Thankfully, the annoying buzzing hadn't returned, though.

My mouth stretched into a wicked grin as I realized this, and I let loose a slightly evil-sounding chuckle.

Seeing the change in my eyes, Renji tried to pull his arm back, but I tightened my grip, feeling the bones of his hand creaking. He was going nowhere.

I pulled my other hand back, feeling the strength gather there, and struck out at his face. See how you like that! I crowed to myself triumphantly.

I had to give it to Renji, though, he could move fast. Clearly, he had been holding back earlier, because with only his one free hand, he managed to grab my arm as it flew forward and redirect the blow downwards, leaping away a second later.

I ended up hitting the wooden floor, which to my chagrin instantly splintered, dust and wood chips going everywhere.

I straightened and turned to the examiners, sticking my tongue out sheepishly. "Um... sorry... Ehehehe..." it was a demolished shack all over again.

I inspected my knuckles, but they didn't look any worse for wear. Huh, Raen one, floor zero.

"You don't hold back, huh?" said Renji, but he looked more impressed than annoyed. He made to walk away, but I stopped him before he left.

"Hey, Renji-" he twitched at the use of his first name, without honorifics, but I ignored it. I wasn't a shinigami yet, anyway. "One quick question?" I kept my voice low so the three seated at the examiner's table couldn't hear me. Our fight had fortunately taken us a short distance from them.

"Er... Sure?"

"Captain Kuchiki... is he in a relationship?"

Renji's mouth gaped like a fish.

"Well?" I prompted.

"Um... no..." he shook his head at the excited spark in my eye, "But it's complicated..."

I shrugged, a wide grin spreading over my face.

"It's really," he insisted, "Really not... You don't have a chance. Never. Don't even try it."

"Is he gay?"

"Wha-? No, no! Definitely not!"

"Then there's no problem."

Renji sent me an exasperated look, but then the examiners caught his eye and he just threw his hands up and walked off.

Meanwhile, I felt my heart sing. He was attractive, powerful, noble to boot, single and not gay.

How complicated could it be?

Captain Sexyhair was mine.