A few days after having the bandages removed, I went to Athae to ask if she would make me a pair of gloves and a hat, with the excuses that the hat would help me stay warmer, and that the gloves would keep me from getting so many blisters from training.
She obliged happily, making a pair of leather gloves that reached until just before my elbow, with tough leather on the inside so they could be used for archery, and ties running from the wrist to the opening of the gloves, so that I could put them on over whatever I was wearing.
What she made for a hat was actually a short, full circle cloak that went down to my waist, with a large hood.
The cloak itself was lined with a thick woolen material, the hood with soft rabbit fur.
I took to wearing them constantly, only partially because of cold.
The primary reason was because they conveniently hid the scars that I could see, leaving only my face bare.
If any of them thought it odd, they did not comment on it.
Over the next few days, I established a bit of routine.
I trained with Glorfindel until midday, then spent an hour or two working on Sindarin with Erestor, and the last couple hours of daylight were usually spent socializing either with Athae, Maeben, or Arwen.
Unfortunately, Elladan and Elrohir were still on patrol, and I found that though it was still beautiful, Rivendell felt too quiet without them.
At one point, it came up in conversation with Erestor that I was a musician, and after that he insisted that music of any kind was a gift to the world, practically dragging me to the Hall of Fire and herding me into a small side room filled with various instruments.
There were shelves of painted flutes, rows of beautifully carved harps, the occasional drum, and a few instruments that looked rather like a cello, from my own world.
That brought tears to my eyes, at the thought that maybe I could have a little piece of home in the music I remembered.
None of the tears fell, though I did sniffle a bit as I picked one of them up. Erestor kindly pretended not to notice, getting me a bow, some rosin, and a chair.
It took a short while to tune it properly, but once it was tuned, the music came almost of its own accord, having been confined in me for so long.
The first touch of bow on strings was like going home, and though my fingers were a bit rusty, they quickly loosened up and were soon flying over the strings.
I played the prelude to the first Bach cello suite, then the first movement from the fifth suite, having to stop after that because the stamina and strength I'd had before was faded.
As soon as I stopped, however, I was bombarded with praise and excitement from a rather large crowd of elves that had gathered, pausing in a number of tasks to investigate the unfamiliar music.
After that, I was asked to play in the Hall of Fire most nights, pulling out all sorts of remembered movie themes, and occasionally just making things up.
I learned some things about myself.
Though I was sore by the end of training, and stiff every morning, it was slowly slipping away as I gained strength and stamina.
I was making progress with archery, sword and shield, and glaive work.
Glorfindel had given me some light leather armor, and we had progressed to sparring together.
I didn't do very well with sword and shield, finding the shield clunky and difficult to work with, and often getting distracted by either blocking or attacking, leaving myself very open for attacks, but he insisted that it would be valuable to know how to use them.
My view of elves changed the longer I was around them.
Before I had thought of them primarily as graceful, eloquent, and inhumanly perfect, but it didn't take more than a few weeks to change that.
Elrond, though he came off as regal, imposing, and rather intimidating at first, joked around with Elladan and Elrohir quite often, helped everyone in Rivendell equally no matter who they were, offering kindness in abundance, and was always willing to sit and talk with anyone should they need his advice, wisdom, or just someone to talk to.
Erestor was opinionated, had a deep love of history and languages, and had the patience of a saint, except for with Elladan and Elrohir, who knew all the right things to get a rise out of him.
He was also completely terrifying when he was irritated, and I didn't want to find out what it was like when he was truly angry.
Glorfindel was the embodiment of the saying "Optimism won't solve all your problems, but it annoys everyone else enough to make it worth the effort.".
He dearly loved to laugh, which I learned after becoming the source of his laughter.
He thought me completely adorable in my small stature and sarcastic attitude.
He was both a terror and a joy to see with a weapon in his hand, and I was supremely happy he was on our side.
Arwen enjoyed sitting together quietly in the time just before we parted for sleep, and we often spent the time talking softly and brushing eachothers hair, or taking long walks in the various gardens.
We talked a lot of things that would come, and though I didn't go into detail, her outside perspective was helpful.
Athae loved freely, could tell when anyone was upset, and had the mothering personality that brought out the small child in people, causing them to accept her care, whether it was really necessary or not.
She was an amazing seamstress, and took great joy in making things for people.
Her favorite part was when she saw someone using the things she made, even if just in passing.
Maeben loved his wife with all his being, but always had kindness to offer to anyone else.
He wasn't the best at archery, but he was excellent at swordplay and was always happy to spar with me if Glorfindel was busy.
I couldn't ever keep up, of course, but he always paced himself to only a tiny bit faster than I could handle, that way I at least got a few blocks or dodges in and was able to feel good about my progress.
He showed me how to care for the two horses I'd had with me upon arriving, and I took great pleasure in spending time with them.
He also showed me what plants were acceptable to eat when foraging, and supplied me with some drawing supplies when he discovered me doodling with a charcoal stick on a scrap of paper in his work room.
We spent a lot of our time with Athae just singing and enjoying eachothers company, and I couldn't help but feel that they were some of my favorite moments.
Quiet, peaceful, uncomplicated.
Bilbo soon became a good friend, and was almost always a companion whenever I took to the hall of fire for music.
He enjoyed putting random instruments in my hands and seeing me pick around on them, as well as sharing songs and stories.
He seemed fascinated by the music and songs I played, as oftentimes they were quite different from the songs he or the elves sang or played.
When Elladan and Elrohir returned, Elladan ended up taking over my archery training.
He had a splendid time torturing me by trying to get me to hit targets further and further away, then moving targets, then thrown targets.
He threatened that later, he would blindfold me and force me to shoot by my other senses alone.
I threatened back that if he made me do that I was probably going to accidentally shoot him.
He laughed.
I did the best with archery, because it was something I'd done before showing up in Middle Earth, so I was able to hit most targets, but when he got into throwing them, I usually tried to tackle him and beat him with the targets.
He always kept just out of reach, laughing at my irritation until I either grew tired of our game, or sulkily went back to target shooting, trying and failing to ignore his over exaggerated apologies and pleas.
It always ended in laughter, for even before showing up in Middle Earth, I couldn't keep a straight face to save my life.
Elrohir soon turned out to be a bad influence on my routine, popping in during Sindarin lessons while Erestor was off getting a book and trying to talk me into going outside with him to bother Elladan, or trying to sneakily steal me away from combat training to go swim in the pool created by the waterfall.
I resisted most of the time, but occasionally he would literally pick me up and spirit me away for mischief, and there wasn't much I could do about it except laugh and go along with it, because it was much more fun than kicking or screaming.
Sometimes we climbed trees and threw berries or leaves at people, pretending to be squirrels.
Other times he gave me piggy back rides around as I flailed a wooden sword, pretending to be going into battle.
Occasionally we played hide and seek, but because he had obvious advantages he started following more and more ridiculous self inflicted rules.
He had to wear a blindfold when he was seeking, or something to muffle his hearing.
He wasn't allowed to climb any trees.
He could only walk backwards.
He had to make animal noises or bird calls every few minutes while he was hiding.
The rules got sillier each time we played.
They tended to treat me a bit like a child, though it was never in a condescending or demeaning way.
I understood, of course, and was perfectly happy most of the time to go along with their games.
It helped that they tended to act rather like children with me, so I didn't feel bad about being treated that way.
As the nightmares grew steadily worse I took to wandering the halls or the gardens at night, needing my body to have movement, as my restless mind constantly did.
After the first few nights, I was joined by Erestor, in companionable silence.
He would walk alongside me, matching his stride to mine, not speaking save to admire a plant, the stars, or the moon.
It was only a few nights after he first started joining me on my late night walks that my tangle of thoughts burst forth.
"I can't just be here like this! So much is going on, is going to happen! I just feel like I'm not preparing well enough!"
He smiled, a soft, pleased upturn of his lips that conveyed his appreciation that I was finally vocalizing some of what was keeping me up at night.
"What are you doing to prepare?"
"Not enough!"
My words were accompanied by a stressed flutter of my hands in the air, as though I needed something, but could not grasp what it was that I needed.
He shook his head once, turning with me back into the halls.
"That is not the answer I asked for. What are you doing? List it out for me."
A sigh forced its way out of me as we continued down the halls, turning occasionally, his hands guiding, as I was far too distracted with my thoughts to focus on aimlessly walking.
"I don't know? I'm recovering? Learning combat and defense..failing to learn Sindarin...but those are all to help later! I have all this knowledge and I'm doing nothing with it!"
He stopped then, and I realized that he had walked us right to Elrond's private chambers.
The door was open, and Elrond was seated just inside at a table, along with Glorfindel, and there were two extra chairs just waiting for Erestor and I to join them.
It was Elrond that spoke next, his voice soft, and warm.
"Then it may be that it is time you spoke to us of your knowledge, and together we can decide what the best course of action is."
I hesitated at the doorway for a moment, voice soft when I spoke.
"I thought..ah..I thought you wanted to wait for Gandalf..and..Saruman.."
I winced.
The act of speaking his name made me feel like it would call his attention to me.
Elrond was the one to speak, though all of their keen eyes were on me, witnessing the wince after speaking Saruman's name.
"Your growing distress over the past weeks tells me that the longer you wait to tell us, the more anxious you are becoming, as well that you are uncomfortable with the thought of informing the white wizard. Perhaps it would be best not to wait for Gandalf?"