Disclaimer: I'm actually Buddhist and know nothing about Christianity or Satan and all that. Nor do I make it a habit of attempting to summon demons and/or ghosts, so everything is literally made up. Sorry if I get anything wrong lol no offense was meant with any of my portrayals
On the tale of the summoning of an unfortunate demon
He'd just been having a grand old time cracking open a cold one with the boys when he was abruptly pulled into the human world.
"What the f- oh. It's you again." He sighed, pinching his nose. "Look kid, you can't just summon demons willy nilly. How many times have I told you this? I've been looking forward to just relaxing with the boys all week. This is a guy we've gotten shipped straight from Italy that was perfectly chilled, and you've literally ruined my only rest time for this month. Do you understand how hard it is to be a demon? It's not just fun and sin like you humans like to portray, okay?! That's heaven with those smug-ass angels!"
He was cut off mid-rant by that damn crow-headed brat. Honestly, humans these days had no concept of manners or even the slightest shred of respect for your average hard-working demons anymore. It was all, 'Satan-sama' this and 'Mr. Satan' that. NOT EVERY DEMON CAN HAVE A TWENTY-FOUR PACK, OKAY?!
"Demon summoned from my flesh and blood, bound by my will and resolve, I bid you to protect Midoriya Izuka from all harm." The brat cut his hand and splashed his blood on the circle in front of him. The demon instantly felt shackles forming on his wrists with the name 'Midoriya Izuka' engraved on them.
"I don't know what they teach you in school these days," he sighed. He eyed the so-called 'protections' the boy carried with him. "I remember the days when demon summoners actually knew what they were doing, and summoned demons for fun things like killing that Jesus character. Now THAT was a fun challenge."
Of course, that brat completely ignored him, choosing instead to close his eyes.
"HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU YA LITTLE BIRD-FACED SHIT!" That brat's little shadow pet or demon or whatever slithered out of god-knows-where to make a mocking face at him. He glowered back.
"Yeah, I ain't talking to you, punk-ass. What kinda bitch has a shitty edgelord name like 'Dark Shadow' anyways?" He jeered. The bird-shadow-thing only made more faces in response.
"Weak pathetic demon."
"I swear to motherfuckin' Satan that I'mma whoop you so hard -"
"Over there. She's Midoriya Izuka." Bird-boy apparently had a habit of interrupting respectable denizens of the underworld. He really wanted to just strangle him with his newly-found chains. It would be wonderfully ironic, really, to be strangled by chains with the name of his beloved engraved on them by the demon he had personally summoned for that aforementioned beloved. There was nothing really even stopping him! He wasn't summoned to protect bird-boy, and the shitty 'protections' weren't enough to stop anything other than a third-rate, off-brand, potbellied demon like Mike. Fuck that guy.
As his thoughts began to run off on a tangent, he subconsciously turned to look in the direction that brat had pointed in. He didn't really know what to expect. A beautiful girl so stunning she managed to attract dozens of weirdo creeps like the brat that summoned him, maybe? Someone similar to that Helen girl or whatever. Or perhaps a girl who was so charismatic that she exuded the aura of a leader. Both would make for some fun chaos. Unfortunately, he ran his eyes a couple times over the direction pointed out to him and didn't see anyone who really fit his expectations.
"…Which girl is it? That girl in red with the ponytail and big boobs?" He scratched his head. She was kinda pretty by human standards, he supposed.
"No, that's Yaoyorozu. Midoriya is the girl with the curly greenish hair and a face covered in freckles." Bird-boy's pet shadow stuck its tongue out and sneered at him. He rolled up his non-existent sleeves, ready to throw hands and find out whether shadow-bird-things tasted nice when fried and battered.
"Focus on your objective, demon." The brat sneered at him in a startling likeness to his pet fried chicken, and he'd just about had it with this shitty duo. Unfortunately, the chains around his wrists tightened in reminder of his objective. He reluctantly turned to look in the same direction again, looking for greenish curly hair and freckles.
It was a girl he had originally overlooked, simply because she didn't seem to have much of a presence. Her looks weren't ugly, but they couldn't really be considered as exceptionally pretty either. She was honestly rather average.
At least, that was what he'd thought until she smiled a smile so bright he felt as if he'd been burned by holy light. He shrouded his eyes from the light, turning away slightly. Why… Why was she suddenly so cute? Why did he feel an inexplicable feeling suddenly rising from his chest? He was a demon! They didn't do pure and cute! Anything that seemed to give off a holy light was a big no-no!
He stood there in a stupor, unable to wrap his head around any of the events that were occurring. He continued to watch as a blond hedgehog brat carried her off.
What… WHAT IN THE WORLD JUST HAPPENED?
In which a demon begins to doubt his very existence
AN: Hello frens I'm back from the dead for a very brief period of time! Don't be too happy because I'm probably not going to be back for very long. I do have other chapters nearly done but… They've been nearly done for like a year now hahahaha _(:3」∠)_ This chapter ended up being more ramble-y than I originally wanted, but what can ya do ┐(´ー｀)┌
All jokes aside I haven't been on fanfiction in a pretty decent chunk of time (thanks college I hate you too) so I feel like I've lost a lot of inspiration/direction for the story. Not that I really had one in the first place… Anyways, keep the ideas coming! Thanks a lot for all the wonderful reviews. It's thanks to them that I kept thinking of this story and feeling guilty that I haven't updated in approximately a century lol