"Who is Phasma again?"
"The shiny one, Taia, the one that's literally the hardest to miss."
"How do you know that?"
"She's the one that grabbed me for that god-awful mission."
"Oh, you…at least got to molest Hux a bit."
Ellin sighed and shrugged. "Something is off. He showed up to the second follow-up examination, even though I was awfully unprofessional before."
"Why the sour face, then?"
"He doesn't mind me being inappropriate with him. I even made a stupid joke and he smiled. He smiled, Taia!" If the twitch of the right corner of his mouth could be counted as a smile.
"Again. Why is that bad?" Taia narrowed her eyes, straining to imagine a smiling Hux. She failed.
"He's the General! I slapped his hand away when he wanted to fiddle with his stupid datapad and he let me."
Taia groaned and rolled her eyes. "Where is the problem?"
Ellin squealed girlishly and stomped her foot. "I don't know how to deal with that!"
"Oh, I forgot how socially awkward you are and how you're not able to handle someone you like being somewhat friendly with you. Right. How can I help you?"
"It's not just someone, Taia! It's the General!"
"Calm down, he's just a man after all. You seem to forget that he's not some sort of deity."
"What can I do?"
"Accept that he's showing interest in you for one. Don't block off and run away like you usually do…and, well, see where this is going."
"Interest? In me? But he's the General!"
"Or whatever. Breathe. Jesus. Maybe he wants a weird friend that isn't a bootlicker." Tell yourself that if it stops you from panicking.
"Oh, thank you, Taia." Ellin stood up from the steel bench she had been lying on, legs crossed at her ankles and hands folded on her stomach. "You're right, he just wants a friend."
Taia just nodded, eyeing her through narrowed eyes. "Why are you so…jumpy?"
She watched as Ellin whipped out a small mirror and lipstick to fix her makeup and adjust her First Order hat which she wore without a complaint.
"I'm not. I was just worried that I was reading too much into things."
I'm sure you were, Ellin, thought Taia sarcastically but kept it to herself. "Where are you going? Off to see Hux?"
"Yes, actually. The General summoned me."
"He summons you when he wants to hang out?"
Ellin shrugged, stashing her lipstick where Taia was sure her blaster actually belonged. "Yeah, normally he's a bit more demanding but he mentioned something about teaching me how to play chess because of my strategic incompetence so I guess it's an invitation?"
Strategic incompetence? What a charmer. "An invitation to his office? I'd call that work."
"No, his private quarters", Ellin replied nonchalantly and walked off, Taia staring after her with a shocked expression plastered on her face.
Yeah, just friends, my arse.
"Orin, you useless shitstain, tell me where the fucking gym is!"
"Is that a way to talk to a fellow Officer, Versio?"
"You stole my prisoner and that allows me to talk to you however the fuck I want."
"I didn't. Remember how I invited you for a drink the other day?"
"Yes. You still owe me that one, bitch."
"I take it back. Your manners are atrocious."
"Pussy."
Orin rolled his gorgeous blue eyes and went back to typing away on his computer. After a while he stood up and leaned on the wall next to Taia, waiting for her to react to him. She didn't. She ignored him for three full minutes before he got impatient and cleared his throat.
"Versio. "
"Orin. What do you want? "
"I'll tell you where the gym is."
"Why the change of heart, dickhead."
He rolled his eyes again and shrugged. "Because I'm not as obnoxious as you are."
"Okay. Valid. Shoot."
"V-799."
Taia squinted her eyes at him. "On the superior Officers deck? Wipe that disgusting smirk off your face, you're lying!"
Orin's annoying cocky smirk just widened. "Well, we do have a few privileges working under Commander Ren. We don't need to share space with the common Officers."
"Sweet. We can go for that drink now."
They, in fact, did not go for a drink. Taia took two beers to go and clinked bottles with a put-out looking Orin as she shouldered her bag and made her way to the gym.
E: You mean slut.
T: Thank you, I do my best.
When Taia entered she wasn't as alone as she had hoped.
Fucking Orin.
Someone was already punching furiously into one of the training dummies in one corner of the very spacious training hall.
He didn't seem to notice her, not even when she dropped her bag loudly on one of the benches along the wall.
Where do I change? This is literally just one big hall. Taia shrugged to herself, figuring that the other guy wouldn't bother her and started to change on the spot. She was pulling her shirt over her head as stomping footsteps approached her from behind.
"What the fuck?"
Hello there, stranger.
"What the fuck yourself, avert your eyes when a lady is changing her clothes, will ya?"
She made a shooing motion with her hand at his completely perplexed face. The tall, dark-haired man just opened and closed his mouth before turning around and shaking his head.
"Who are you?"
"Who are you, dude?
"Who am I?"
"This conversation is riveting, honey. You can turn around now, by the way."
Taia tried to focus on his face, those dark mysterious eyes, his unforgivingly perfect hair after what seemed to have been an intense workout session judging by the amount of sweat covering a very well-built, naked upper body.
He's not staring at my tits, so I shouldn't stare at his. Goddamn, where has this man been since I've been on this fucking ship?
He noticed her staring, though, and a small arrogant smirk formed on his full lips. "You don't know who I am", he stated, a slightly curious tone in his deep voice.
Taia swallowed, her mouth suddenly very dry. Oh my god, I need to get my shit together. "Should I?" His smirk broadened.
Oh, I should. Fuck.
She held out a hand in greeting. "I'm Taia. I work in Communication. Care for a beer?"
She nodded to her bag, where she had placed the two bottles she got from Orin.
He hesitated a second before taking her hand. "Sure, I need a break anyways. Nice to meet you, Taia."
She went to her bag, got the two bottles out and handed him one.
Nice to meet you, too, nameless hunk.
"Oh, sorry, I normally don't need to introduce myself. I'm Kylo Ren."
"Kylo Ren?", Taia spluttered, almost showering him in beer. "Yeah, sure, good one."
Taia laughed and slapped his shoulder a bit harder than intended, making an almost obnoxious sound that resonated in the hall.
It would sound so dirty if we had sex here-ohmygod fuck shit I need a cold shower!
"And this isn't a gym for officers but only for Kylo, I mean, your private one. That would be so extra, haha."
"It is, actually."
Wait a second, he's serious.
T: Ellin? Have you ever seen Kylo Ren without his mask?
E: No, he's your boss. Hux has, though.
He eyed her curiously, waiting for a reaction from Taia. She stalled by chugging her beer while Force-conversing with Ellin.
T: Describe him.
E: Uhm. Lumbering brute with no self-control.
T: Of course Hux would say that.
E: Oh, and also; a stupid scar down the right side of his face and neck. A little girl gave it to him…?
Scar…well, fuck.
Taia looked at him again. Really looked at him. His tall, broad frame, the black, high-waisted pants, not standard uniform. Those damn pecs distracted me. And the obvious scar down his face that matched Hux's limited description. I knew he was hot!
"Commander Ren."
ORIN, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCK!
"Officer Versio."
He suddenly looked more reserved, as if he was reminded of his rank and regretting their banter.
"I apologize for the lack of protocol, Sir."
Now he looked downright annoyed. Shit, fuck, what do I do now? What did I say that was so wrong? Wait...I didn't tell him my last name. "Wait, you know who I am?"
"Well, you are in my division, Officer."
"I'm sorry for calling you extra, Sir", Taia said, meekly taking another sip.
He stared at the bottle in his hand and sighed.
"Well it is quite extravagant, I guess." Then he mumbled a 'fuck this' under his breath and downed his bottle in one go.
What the fuck is happening!?
Taia almost considered reaching out to Ellin again but couldn't think of anything to ask her.
"Taia. May I call you Taia? Yes, I do, you literally introduced yourself a minute ago-"
He's rambling.
"Would you mind if we-"
He's totally rambling.
"If I dropped protocol?"
"Drop protocol?", Taia repeated, dumbfounded by the sudden change in Kylo Ren.
"Yes, just-", he waved his hand around nervously.
He's nervous? Oh my God.
"Drop the formalities. And sit. And talk. Like people. It's been a while. For me. "
Fuck, he's adorable.
"It's been a while since you've… sat and talked?" Taia couldn't help the smile that was spreading on her face.
He huffed and ran the fingers of his right hand through his hair "No, you know what I mean."
"No."
"No?" His face fell and Taia's smile only grew bigger.
Damn, Kylo Ren has some damn powerful puppy eyes.
"No, I wouldn't mind if we dropped protocol to hang out. "
They just stood there, Taia smiling stupidly at him while he played around with the empty bottle in his hands.
"Good."
"Good. I'm sorry for interrupting your training, Sir. "
"I was finishing up anyways. Don't worry. I'll uhm- I'll go take a shower and – see you here in thirty?"
Can I do a little work out and shower and look gorgeous in 30 minutes? Heck yes, I can for your sweet ass.
"See you in thirty", Taia confirmed.
He walked off but stopped halfway and turned around again, a concerned expression on his face.
"And don't 'Sir' me, call me Kylo. "
"Yes, Sir, uh, Kylo. "
"And get a service droid to bring us some more beer. "
"Sure." In the gym? Why not. It's more private, I guess.
"Sorry, who was the one that told you this is a public gym? He must have overridden my codes just to prank you. "
Do I rat out the moronic coworker to my very temperamental and violent boss? Heck, yes.
"Orin", Taia replied without hesitation, rolling her eyes.
He sighed, mumbled something that sounded an awful lot like 'that fuckhead Orin' and continued on walking to where Taia supposed the showers were.
T: Soo…
E: So, what, Taia?
T: Turns out that things happened that I didn't expect to happen.
E: Mind being more accurate?
T: Ugh, you sound like Hux!
E: I'm waiting. I literally have someone else's life in my hands right now.
T: Oh, gosh! Don't answer me if you're in the middle of something, idiot!
E: Don't worry, I've got it.
T: Like when you threatened to rape Hux's corpse, would he have died?
E: Don't remind me. That was embarrassing. Poor General. What happened, Taia?
T: I will always remind you. From afar it looked like you were strangling him. Haha.
E: Taia.
T: Okay, as I was saying... Turns out Kylo Ren is actually a really chill dude.
E: …if your definition of chill is 'severe, demanding and temperamental'. Sure.
T: Noo! Listen. So, I walked into the gym…
E: Is this the start of a joke?
T: Where I found Kylo Ren…
E: This is a joke.
T: Who apparently hates Orin as much as I do, and we drank a beer on it.
E: In the gym?
T: In the gym. With Kylo Ren.
E: With his mask on? Does he have a special straw?
T: No, you walking brain damage, he wasn't wearing his mask.
E: Oh, that's why you asked! Show me! How many eyes are missing? I bet he doesn't have lips and all you see is teeth – oh and his nose is probably gone too-
T: You are literally describing a skull. Nothing missing, everything in place, the scar that you said, brown eyes, full lips-
E: Balls, he's hot.
T: Fairly handsome, yes.
E: Fuck, shit, he's absolutely gorgeous. Stop gushing, Taia, and show me that half-gods face.
T: Are you being sarcastic?
E: No, I'm just able to sense your badly hidden horniness.
"I am in favor of creating a Kylo Ren fan club."
"Now you like him?"
"His dark presence enhances the ferocity and determination of the General. They look evilly powerful together."
Taia groaned in frustration. Always back to the bloody fucking General.
"You do know that they are both in charge of the Finalizer and its crew? He's not some shadow or enhancer of anything."
Ellin rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat opposite of Taia who was now pointing at her with a fork. They were eating late lunch in the canteen.
"He's not even listed in the ranking charts! He's just…there. Being mysterious, I suppose."
Taia snorted and shoved her empty food tray away.
"He is in charge of the interrogation units. The ones I work in. And he has at least two private ships. And he only takes orders from Leader Snoke-" Ellin sighed and stood up without letting Taia finish her speech, awkwardly maneuvering herself out of the cantina bench she was sitting in, trying not to hit any of the other First Order staff with any of her body parts.
"How do you plan on jumping his bones, then?"
"Excuse me?", Taia hissed, conscious of all the other people around them and quickly looking for a way out.
"You know, buzzing the brillo with Kylo Ren."
"Are you insane? When did I ever-"
"The bedroom rodeo with the Knight. Sink the sausage. Makin' bacon."
"Where did you learn all of these...?", Taia said incredulously, almost admiringly.
"I mean copulation. Sex."
"I know what you mean, idiot!"
"Oh. Then answer my question. When or how are you intending on feeding the kitty."
"You're gross. Please stop that."
Ellin laughed and shrugged. "Wanna hang out at my place?"
"No. I am not spending more time near that poster. Why would you draw a golden laurel wreath on his fucking head?"
"Because it belongs there, obviously. Okay, off to your silly excuse of a habitable space, then. Would you believe me if I told you that the General gave the poster to me?"
"No. Wait, did he?"
"Fuck, no. Ha! Look at your face you believed me there for a sec!"
Taia sighed and rolled her shoulders, trying to work out the stiffness that had settled in due to the hours spent sitting and staring at screens. Pretending to work. „Well, I guess he's vain enough to distribute posters of himself. "
"He's not! I heard Kylo Ren gives autographs without being asked to."
"Don't lie to make Hux look cooler. It doesn't work."