They say that time heals all wounds. Even then, some wounds never heal.
Time passed, and the relationship with my family never became the same.
In the end, I had to move away, running from everything and everyone. It wasn't hard to leave everything behind me. There was nothing left, after all.
There was nothing I could do to stop this. No clever comeback. No revenge. I only had the emptiness left when you are abandoned by everyone. If I had the option to rebel, the opportunity to change anything, I would have already done so. My destiny was set, and my family was hard bent on the decision to dispose of me. I was powerless, so the only option I had is to accept it.
After all, life treats everyone equally. Life goes on without you. Life waits for no one.
...
"Earth to Liam. Hey, are you listening to me?"
The annoying voice of a girl is calling for me; I grumble in irritation as I bury my head deeper into my arms. Sleeping in was already hard to do with all the chit chattering in the classroom, I didn't want to deal with whoever was calling out for me.
"Y-you… you are awake, aren't you?! Jeez, talk about being rude."
I quietly smirk, surely it was clear enough that I didn't want anything to do with the owner of the voice. But things never go as I want.
"Ow, ow, ow! Stop! Stop What are you doing?!" I yell in pain as the girl yanks my ear.
"Finally, you sleepy-head. Why are you always such a jerk?"
"I wouldn't be a jerk to you if you'd just leave me alone!" I said as I rubbed my ear with annoyance. She really doesn't hold back at all.
"Humph, you are less than qualified to talk about leaving people alone." She said as she crossed her arms.
Plump rosy lips form a pout on her fair-skinned face; she might try to make me feel guilty, but instead, I find it cute. At first glance, her short-hair might make her seem tomboyish, but after paying closer attention to her, it is clear how of a meticulous person she can be; you just have to see how much care she puts in her cinnabar hair. Her gestures, the way she speaks, how she patiently waits for you to finish talking, everything about her makes her give off a vibrant aura, and, before you even realize it, she's taken hold of the conversation.
"I-I don't know what you are talking about." I wanted to deny her claims with confidence, but in the end, I blew it. It was so embarrassing that I stop myself from blushing.
"Really now. Are we doing this? Right here? Right now? For the tenth time in a month?"
"S-shut up!" Trying to avoid her piercing eyes, I glanced away.
"Whatever." The girl squints her eyes at me, suddenly revealing a worried facial expression. "You should really sleep more, Liam. I always see you dead-ass tired."
"And I always see you dead-ass annoy…"
Oh. Here comes pain. Again.
Will humans someday transcend the need to feel pain?
"Idiot." She whispers at me with one eye closed.
"If you have the energy to lash out like that, then you must be fine." She closes her eyes for a moment, a deep frown appears in her face, that is quickly replaced by a smile that I can't really understand. She sounds oddly relieved for some reason.
"Hey, I take offense in that."
"But checking on you isn't the reason I am here… there's something I need to talk with you in private. After school is over. School roof yada, yada." She starts saying that firmly, but then she waves it off as if it wasn't something of importance.
I raise my eyebrow in confusion.
"There are already enough rumors about the two of us. Do you really want to stir them up, asking me this in front of everyone?" I can't help myself from letting out a sigh of annoyance. Why does everybody involved in my life is so noisy and glamorous?
"I. Don't. Care. You better come to the roof, or I'll show you." She glares to induce intimidation unto her prey.
I must say that she is doing a great job so far.
"Whatever, be it as you like. It is not as if I don't know how stubborn you can be."
Rudely waving out my hand, I dismiss her without putting too much heart into the matter. She must be wanting to request something from me, it wouldn't be the first time.
"Idiot." Declaring with a tired glare, she then soothes her voice. "Please, just be there."
"Kaede..." I look at her. "I... will be there," I promise her, but I'm not even sure if I'm sincere.
Kaede Garalina, she is someone who considers me as her friend.
Not only she is charismatic, but she is also loved by everyone. Athletic, smart, and headstrong. She has the qualities of a woman that will be desired for everyone.
If it weren't for the fact that when she is annoyed by anything, she becomes such a violent tomboy…
Shorter than me at 5'6, she has modest attributes, but they are well rounded. Her face is beautiful, her smile is so captivating; it is hard to point out flaws in her.
And I hate all of it.
I hate her popularity.
I hate her energy.
I hate how stubborn she can be.
And yet, she insists on being… a friend of mine.
I just don't get it, I have tried everything to push her away.
But she still comes back, barging into my life as chaotically as a hurricane.
In the end, it is nothing more than my fault, only because... there are things that I hate even more.
"Just be there, Liam. Please," she begs at me, and I just nod at her.
The ringing of the school's bell signalize that classes are starting, she runs off to her classroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
My name is Liam Sancte. An ordinary 17 years old highschool student that isn't related to the mystic.
Someone that just sits still, suppressing all of his hatred to keep on living.
I hate people, I hate society, I hate the Magi, I hate the normal people.
I hate the Mystic and the Normal.
I hate the living and the dead.
A saggy scowl is my usual facial expression, coupled with lank pewter hair and a face full of eye bags, I give a grimly appearance. I used to have golden yellow hair, but after the destruction of my magic circuits, its color changed permanently. Sometimes, people tell me that I look like an old man, it doesn't help that I have a kind of weak complexion.
I'm not very tall, just having a height of 6'0, so it's easy for me to avoid drawing out attention. Despite my strange hair, I have become somewhat good at blending in with the crowd.
Yet I can't sit restlessly and just do that.
Because I am a tutor. Not just any tutor.
A professional tutor that even teachers depend on…
And for depending on, I mean they freaking throw me students to teach when they should be doing their job.
It didn't start like that. At first, I just… I just was moved for something I hated, and I acted upon that resentment. That's it, nothing less nor nothing more.
Yet I got involved in the life of so many people that I couldn't have a peaceful school life after I satisfied my hatred.
"It is him…"
I hear whispers in my back as I'm walking in the hallways.
It is always like that, being known is, honestly, not something good at all. Even if some people have a reasonable opinion of me, as weird as it is, there are still rumors that I'm a delinquent.
They are not so far off the mark. But the truth is, I have never assaulted anyone. I have just been involved in some fights that I had no decision on.
I don't blame them, despite hating how they talk in my back.
"Could you at least be discrete?!" I yell without looking back.
So I just act on my hatred. Stupid girls.
The two freshmen who were whispering way behind me scream in fear and run away. Hey, it is not like I hit girls… well, they know nothing, so it doesn't matter if they believe I do.
There was a worse time, though. A time where I was bullied continuously, and I tried just to hide from everyone. Now that I can confidently tell everybody to shut up, I will do so.
"Heeey. My man, I was wondering who was making such a ruckus so early, and my suspicions turned out to be right!" Someone suddenly grabs me my neck from behind me, hugging it with strength.
He is someone who used to bully me.
"Argh! Release me in this instant! You f*cking moron!"
I struggle to no avail, the dude has strong muscles.
"Come on, I'm just playing around. We are pals, right?"
"I told you were a not pals! You are the reason everyone thinks I'm a delinquent!"
After a bit more of struggle, he finally releases me, not without laughing at me with a carefree attitude.
"Come on. Don't be like that. I'm in your debt, after all. And I am not really the reason they treat you as a delinquent."
"What are you talking about? You look like this and always act so chummy with me. Of course, people will think I'm one of your kind."
"Nah bro, chill. My meaning is that I'm not the reason they think you are a delinquent," he points his finger at my nose. "I am ONE of the reasons they think you are a delinquent."
And he laughs off.
So annoying.
Park Seojun. An exchange student from Korea that acted as a bully to everyone. Participated in school fights, robbed students with intimidation, and one of the worse bastards that I had to deal with at the start of my studies here.
A muscle mess with a 7'0 of height, his Asian features coupled with a Yakuza-like hairstyle gives him the appearance of a foreigner that would only look for trouble.
And another of the people I can get rid of who consider themselves to be my friends.
"You can never shut the hell up, do you?"
"Not with you, man. As I said, I am in your debt."
I grumble in annoyance.
I think I hate myself the most, why did I have to get involved with him?
Well, at least with his help, no one looks for trouble with me anymore.
"I mean, Liam, my man. Pal, chummy, fam, amigo, hyeong, lad…"
"Stop, just, please. Spare me from this pain." I sorrowfully plead to him, he can keep going for a long time if he wants to.
"I'm just saying… you are so pale, my friend! And just look at your eye bags! Get some sleep, eat more and stuff. And also you always scowl at people. No wonder they think you will someday take a gun a shoot everyone in the school."
"You are one to talk."
"Hey, people don't think I will shoot everyone I see. They think I will shoot just one person to steal their belongings." He jokes around with a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Idiot." I copy Kaede with some frustration.
Park laughs his ass off again.
I liked it more when he bullied me…
"Well, it's not like you don't eat nor exercise… you go with me to the gym after all… are you taking drugs, my man?"
I stiffen up.
"Of course not!"
"Hmm… Such a weird reaction, but I don't think you…" He says, shaking his head.
"Nah, you are such a coward. Of course, you wouldn't." He just ends up mocking you in 'consolation.'
"I was just so dumbfounded that you came to that conclusion," I glare at him.I
And I end up giving up.
"So, what do you want from me?" Giving out a sigh is the only thing I can do to vent up my frustrations. It is not like I can beat Park up… I've tried.
"I've just heard you are gonna have a hot date with the hot stuff that is the tomboy beauty, and I came to give you my expert advice. As you can see, I'm so handsome that girls throw themselves at me, so I'm an expert when it comes to relationships."
My eyebrow twitches so much that it hurts. Seriously this retard…
I don't even think twice, and I turn around. Without glancing back, I just go back to my classroom.
"Oh, come on!" Park says as he follows me. "I'm serious here, it is finally your chance."
"Moron. Did you just believe the rumors? It's like fucking tenth time you do this."
"But, it's true that she summoned to the rooftop."
"Yes. And I'm a hundred percent sure Kaede just wants another fucking favor, again!" Entering my classroom, I just ignore all of his teasing and advice.
Getting involved with him is one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
…
It's almost time for classes to finish.
Kaede and I used to study in the same classroom, but the school put us in different classes this year.
I don't really want to comply with her, even if she gets violent if I don't.
I am really not in the mood.
I am not evading her, I am not running away.
Yes, I am just not in the mood, especially after Park's tauntings.
And, lately, I haven't made much progress, I ended up so tired that I feel like dying.
So after school ends, I just go right back to my dormitory. I turn off my cellphone, just in case Kaede calls me after she realizes I didn't go. I am not scared of her; honestly, I just don't want to deal with her.
After that, the tiredness that I have been holding comes out at once.
I can't… go on… anymore.
After closing the door of my dormitory, I pass out on the floor.
Ah, it's so comfortable…
…
Mother tended my wounds, mages can survive with burned out Magic Circuit, there has to be at least one left. Even so, they can't use magic anymore; the flow of Prana disrupts their bodies leading to self-destruction.
Vitality potions, rejuvenating elixirs. In the end, things were used so I wouldn't be bedridden for all of my life. If you don't count a being a Magus that can't use magic.
But all in all, this was nothing but a pity move full of pride.
With the attitude of 'I spared you, so be grateful.' I was thrown into another country. Thrown away like a broken toy that you are fond of. Not wanting to see it anymore but at the same time wanting for its existence to cease.
I chose Rome, in the end, I wanted to stay so far away as I could from a magic society. Despite the rich history of Magic and the Mystic in Rome, there's so much population that it's almost impossible for mages to develop safely. Even when there are still mages, the church also keeps them in check.
Then, after adapting to this healthy lifestyle, I found a peaceful life. Even if I'm surrounded by noisy annoying people, I have not a lot of problems in my life.
But I can't be satisfied.
…
"What time is it?" With shivering I try to get up, only to crumble in my attempts, my body not responding to my commands.
It is frustrating, it is infuriating. I punch my leg to wake it up but is useless. Hopeless, that's what I am.
Even my arms give up, so I crash into the floor.
Opening my eyes is already difficult enough.
"Fuck," I mutter holding back a groan.
This is something so common that I almost got used to it. A magic rebound. Even if a body has all of their magic circuits burned, it is a magical body, after all, the remnant feeling of mana production swells and, like a short-circuit, rushing out through my magic system leaving my body feeling as if it were crumbling down.
I hate it. I really hate it. I loathe it!
"Come on, come on!" I muster all of my strength.
All I can manage to do is to turn my body upside-down, with my trembling hands I open up the buttons of my shirt. Shit, even that is difficult. Exposing my bare chest, I let some steam come out from my body.
It hurts.
Burning marks are spread across the entirety of my body. They make it look as if my skin were breaking down, they are so straight yet intricate, these are the marks that were left after my father forced me to burn my Magic Circuits.
Every time my heart beats, they appear to contort and swell, as if they were following a cursed rhythm.
I got some treatment for the burns, but only so I could live between society. My hands, neck, and face were treated but the rest of my body was left to corrode so I would always remember my lesson.
Mother told me that she did what she could. But I know, she could have done more.
I always have to wear long sleeves so people won't notice.
I always have to avoid public baths.
I have to live in shame of my own body.
Maybe that's one of the reasons why people think I'm a delinquent, they do look like tattoos.
Chuckling, I just keep on daydreaming until the pain goes away.
I can only cope. I can't solve my situation, and, even if the physical pain might go away.
These cursed lines shall curse my existence even after I die.
…
After some long hours, night finally fell. At the same time, my rebound appeared to calm down.
It has been getting worse. Maybe as I'm getting older the rebound will increase its frequency and power. Or maybe, it might be related to the fact that I've been in a bottleneck for a while…
I've stayed healthy with plenty of nutrition and exercise. But that's not enough, even if I have more vitality the rebounds don't seem to lessen.
No one will help me.
No one is with me.
No one will stay by my side.
And, honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I'm better off being by myself.
With stiffened limbs, I barely manage to stand. A lonely dark apartment welcomes me, wind billowing around the apartment complex, the clash of the wind with the tall building sounds like the scream of the damned.
Condemning me for living.
They can suck it up.
The voices won't stop me.
Shaking my head of those silly ramblings I rummage through my fridge, looking out for something to eat.
And, to no one's surprise, it's empty. Why do people always check the fridge even when they know there's nothing? They also look twice. It saddens me to fall for the ploys of my own mind.
So, I have to go out for something to eat. Bravo past Liam.
Changing up my school uniform, I look at my naked reflection in the mirror. The cursed lines still burn, but at least they are manageable.
Watching my scarred body makes me stagger in disgust. My sorry figure is so pitiful, so weak, so horrendous. And can't help to think to myself…
That I really hate myself.
…
"Why do I even have a mirror?"
Wearing a hoodie, I search for an open shop so I could get me some nice food. But it is so late at night that there isn't any, or at least not nearby.
Because it is cheaper, I live in an apartment that is farther from the populated locations, it is not desolate at all in the day, but there is no reason for people to be outside so late at night.
"I need a smoke" I cry out in exasperation.
The streets are so cold; I can even see my breath. The chilling darkness sets everything up for an inauspicious night. It feels as if fate were to be calling for me.
And I suddenly feel it, I feel as if I was crossing a thin veil in the air that I shouldn't have to.
Explosive.
Tumultuous.
Chaotic.
Clashes sound in the distance, the dusty air signals for battle as the streets rumble with fury.
A chilling reflection from the moonlight blinds my eyes.
A blade raises to the air, full of magnificence, only to fall without mercy.
A dark figure defends itself with what appears to be… a club?
The sword should have been enough to destroy any defense in its path, but it wasn't enough.
The dark figure pitifully gets dragged against the floor from the brute force of the blow.
And I see her.
She is showy, she is weird, she is strange. Even after receiving so much damage she seemed to be unfazed, but not in a calm and collected way, her reaction is as if she only collided with a wall on accident.
"Ow, ow, ow."
She looks like a foreigner, but a really extravagant one. She is wearing a Japanese sailor uniform, on top of that, there is a trendy white jacket full of cute engravings. Colors of red and blue adorn her clothes.
Not only her clothes, but her hair also has some strands dyed with red and blue, carefully combed into some trendy twin tails.
She looks more like a diva than a fighter.
And I can't stop myself from thinking.
I got dragged into some deep shit.