Brian's POV

I spent the next morning with Justin and Emmett helping them with the wedding planning. Mostly with our suits and the guest list, Justin spent a good amount of time trying to get me to invite my mother.

"This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life why would I want Saint Joan there?" I argued

"Because she's your mother Brian, no matter how awful she is. She should still be at her son' s wedding" Justin counters

"So by that logic I guess you invited your dad?" I said smugly

"Yup" Justin said surprising me

"Why?"

"Because I'm being the better person" he said shrugging

"Don't you mean bigger?" I ask smirking

"That too" he said smiling

"Why would you want your dad there? Wouldn't he just ruin your day? Why would you want that kind of negativity at our wedding?" I question

"Because one day when my dad wakes up and realizes that he regrets how he treated me. And wants a relationship with his son again he won't be able to say that I didn't try either or that I didn't even invite him to my wedding" he explains

I stare at Justin remembering all the reasons that I love him. This being one of them how mature he is and forgiving. I mean half the reason that I didn't want Saint Joan there is because I haven't really forgiven her. Every time I try she gives me another reason not to. But Justin, forgives his dad enough to still want him at his wedding.

He still loves him, Justin loves so much and has such a big heart. I mean he has to right, he fell in love with me didn't he? I pull him into my lap and kiss him. He gasps surprised before kissing me back.

When we pull away he beams his trade mark sunshine smile at me.

"What was that for?" he asks still smiling

"For being you" I said making him blush a little, then a random thought pops into my head. "Are we writing our own vows?"

"Well I wasn't planning on it, I thought we'd just do the generic exchanging of vows" he said shrugging

"Considering there's nothing generic about us do you think that really fits?" I ask

"That's what I said but he insisted" Emmett said walking back in with a box full of envelopes

"Really" I said cocking an eyebrow at Justin, he blushes again

"I didn't want any extra…pressure on us" he said shrugging

Translation he didn't think I'd want to.

"Well I think I'm going to write something, if you don't want to you don't have to. I mean I know your busy with all the wedding planning and everything-"

"No, I mean yea we could both write our own vows if that's what you really want" he said trying to suppress his happiness

"Great well I have to go met Deb so we can go check on Ben. I'll see you when I get back" I said kissing him on the top of his head before heading out.

"Brian?" Justin said stopping me before I leave

"Yea?"

"Just try to remember that Ben is hurting right now, and…just try and stay clam" he said

"Promise" I said pecking him on the cheek and heading out

When I get to Debs she got about a months' worth of food packed and ready to go.

"I thought we were just going to check on him" I said while Hunter and I help her load the food into the car.

"We are but you know he probably hasn't been eating right, or at all so I just want to make sure he has food. It's important he eats with all those meds he takes" she said

Truthfully she looks about as nervous as I feel about talking to Ben. I mean we're not really friends the only thin Ben and I had in common was that we love Michael. Now that he's gone I don't really know why Debbie wanted me to come with her. I mean I don't even know what to say, I mean the guy lost his husband. Just like Justin feared I'm sure he blames one or both of us for what happened to Michael.

I help Deb carry the food up to the apartment, Debbie just lets herself in with her key. We both freeze as soon as we step inside, the whole apartment is trashed. Debbie tosses the food in the kitchen and starts shrieking Ben's name. She runs straight to the bedroom; I decide to wait out here. I look around and notice a few boxes with Michaels name on them.

I wonder what Ben's gonna do with all of this stuff, then I think about the store. Who's gonna take care of that, I didn't think about any of this stuff. I didn't even think to ask Debbie if she needed help with anything besides the funeral. I'm not sure I'm processing Michael's death the right way. Everyone else is devastated, hell so is Justin and Michael pretty much hated him.

So what's wrong with me? I mean I'm sounded by all his stuff – stuff he's had since we were kids, and nothing. Maybe I'm just repressing it and it all spill out later.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Ben says snapping me out of my thoughts. Debbie plants him at the dinner table and starts fixing him some food.

"I asked him to come with me" Debbie said

"Haven't you done enough?" Ben slurs angrily, huh I guess Zen Ben is a little lubricated

"Ben!" Debbie said shocked

"What? Are we all just gonna tip toe around the fault- fact that this is their fault!" he said tripping over his words

"No it wasn't, they didn't force Hobbs to do any of the horrible things he did" Debbie said scoldingly

"Didn't they? I mean Hobbs had basically forgot all about Justin until Justin tried to shoot him?!" Ben yells

"You don't know that, and don't blame Justin he didn't ask for any of this" I said getting angry

"Look at you protecting you precious fiancé or I guess it'll be husband soon. What you wait a few hours to start planning your wedding? Your best friend's mother is planning his funeral and all you can think about is starting your new life. I bet Justin sure is happy that Michael's gone"

"Ben that's enough!" Debbie said slamming her hand on the table

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about! Justin is anything but happy right now!" I yell

"Bullshit! I bet he asked Hobbs to kill Michael, so he wouldn't have to share you anymore" Ben said

I lose it and punch him right in his idiotic drunk mouth before storming out of the house. I ignore Debbie calling after me and get in my car. I have no idea where I'm going but I just need to clear my head.

Justin's POV

I'm starting to get worried Brian's been gone all day and he hasn't called. Neither has Debbie I try not to freak out, I mean if something was wrong they would've called. So I busied myself with wedding planning, then I played with Gus, then I made my homemade soup for everyone. Now I'm sketching which I'm surprised that I'm able to do. I'm starting to notice that most of my sketches are turning out pretty dark.

Then Brian stumbles into the bedroom and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Brian smiles then frowns, that when I notice that he looks a little drunk.

"It went that well huh?" I said putting my sketch book down

He strips till he's just in his undies and plops down on the bed with his head in my lap. He sighs while making himself comfortable.

"I'm sorry sunshine I know I'm supposed to be cutting back but he was so awful" he said

"He's just grieving" I said gently running my fingers through his hair

"I don't think I'm doing it right" he said sounding confused

"Doing what right? Grieving? Brian there's no right or wrong way to grieve. You'll do it in your own way and time I promise" I said reassuringly

"Are you sure?"

"Yup"

"You always know what to say you know that? I love you angel" he said before he started snoring lightly

I laugh lightly at my drunk fiancé "I'll never get tired of hearing you admit that" I whispered