Nightmares Interrupted

New chapter! I started writing this when I was really tired, so hopefully it is okay! This story is going to bounce around a little bit, and it is not all going to be happy. Even though the last chapter was pretty light, Harri is NOT okay. She has major PTSD and is still grieving for Fred and Remus. For a little backstory, Harri loved Sirius just as much as canon, but saw him more as a fun uncle than a father, though she would have gladly moved in with him had she had the chance. She found a father figure in Remus, starting in her third year and even lived with him after the events of OoTP. Again, I am going to try and incorporate this into the story, but I thought I would clarify just in case.

Chapter 2

With only 3 weeks to get prepared for her N.E.W.Ts , Harri threw herself into studying. It helped distract her from the memories, the pain, and she was grateful for it. She spent the long nights studying instead of sleeping, which, if she was being ironic, helped with the nightmares. And when she did sleep for the short amount of times that she did, the nightmares were not there due to the exhaustion of not sleeping. She knew that Mrs. Weasley was starting to worry about her, but Harri waved her off with excuses of just getting used to having a newborn to raise, and with the grief of just losing one of her children she hadn't pushed. A deep selfish part of Harri wanted her to push, wanted to feel as if somebody actually cared about how she was feeling. But then she would realize how terrible she sounded, and she would push that feeling down too.

She wished she could talk to Herman or Rhonda, but things were strained there, too. They were so wrapped up in their new relationship and the hurt over losing Fred, that they seemed to forget that Harri was hurting too. Everyone seemed to forget it, she realized. She was the Chosen One, the Girl-Who-Lived-Again. What pain could SHE feel? They seemed to forget that she lost Remus, her father in every way but blood, that Fred had been one of her best friends too. Her mind flashed to the many nights her and Fred had stayed up in the Gryffindor common room talking about George and Angelina. Harri felt as if she was drowning, and yet she couldn't really feel anything either. She wasn't okay, and yet she had pushed the feelings down so deep that she could pretend she was. Pretend that everything was fine so that she could make others feel better. She talked to Teddy sometimes. It helped a bit. It helped that he couldn't talk, couldn't feel pity for her just yet.

Teddy felt like the only good thing in her life at the moment. The studying helped her pass time, helped distract her from the pain. But Teddy made her smile, gave her reason to live. The little blue haired boy had felt like hers from the moment he had been put in her arms. They had tried to get her to put him with a foster family, told her that she was too young for the responsibility of a newborn. But the thought of leaving Remus' son, her godson, with someone else simply because she was too young? It killed her. He was already an orphan. Andromeda killing herself just made the whole situation worse. She refused to let him grow up thinking that she didn't love him, didn't want him like she had been made to believe by the Dursleys. And every day she was more and more glad that she hadn't listened to them because the little boy had quickly wormed his way into her heart.

She considered him to be not just family, but HER family. She remembered the time at Shell Cottage after she had been tortured by Bellatrix and raped by Rodolphus Lestrange and Dolohov. She had felt empty, and like she was spiraling into despair. She remembered Remus coming to visit, so excited to show her a picture of Teddy and asking her to be his Godmother. It had gave her this sudden, strong desire for a family to call her own. The Weasley's were amazing, but she had always felt as if she was on the outside of their family, and with Remus she had never felt anything but strong parental love. He had said yes so fast it nearly gave her whiplash, and for the first time since breaking out of Malfoy Manor, she had felt a small form of hope. Even if she didn't make it through this war, at least she would have a place to call home, and a father to come with it. Sure she had stayed with Remus for summers after fifth year, but having it official just gave her this feeling of pure joy. And yet she had survived and Remus hadn't. The first few days after the battle, she had been numb, as if she would never feel anything again. And then they had put Teddy into her arms and she felt everything at once. Joy and grief were the most prominent, and it left her breathless. She just prayed that she could be what he needed, even if she felt broken inside.

"You're up rather late tonight. I'd have expected you to be sleeping whenever you could while the little one is out." Harri jumped slightly, before turning to give Angelina a small smile. She glanced at Teddy, who was in a bouncer that she was bouncing with her foot. "I was studying. Don't sleep much anyways. Besides, if I slept while he did, I wouldn't get to see that little smile he has when he's dreaming, and that 's the best part of my day." Angelina smiled then, and Harri found herself glad to see it. Ange had found out she was pregnant 2 months after the war, which had been both heartbreaking and heartwarming. The fact that she had to have a baby alone, when Fred had died in the war was terrible and yet Angie had made the best of it by saying that at least they would have a part of Fred left in the world. She was just passed 3 months now and was glowing. It amazed Harri with how well she was doing only three months after Fred had died. Harri hadn't lost her fiancé, and here she was barely keeping herself together. It made her feel terribly ashamed.

"I must say, you and Teddy make me more excited to be a mom than I already am. You're so good with him Harriet." Harri blushed as Angie came and sat down beside her, a jar of peanut butter and a spoon in her hand. "I wouldn't say that. He's just a really good baby. I just got lucky." "Lucky that Remus died and left you his son" a nasty voice said inside of her head. Harri was suddenly ashamed again, and she frowned slightly down at her books. "You're allowed to feel happy about him, you know. Remus could never be upset with you over that." Angelina's voice was soft and timid, as if she expected Harri to lash out at her. It made her sad to see her friend scared by her, but it came with the territory. The Girl-Who-Won had defeated Voldemort. What wasn't there to be scared of? "I can't help it Angie. They should be here and I shouldn't, and yet here we are." She sounded bitter, even to herself, but she couldn't help it. She had died, and come back, and yet Teddy was without parents, Angelina's baby without a father. "They wouldn't want you to think like that Harri. Besides, that was kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I figured I'd find you up, so I wanted to wait until everyone else was asleep to do it."

Angelina came and sat down across from her before pulling an envelope out of the pocket of her robe. "Now Harri, I need you to know that what happened to Fred was not your fault. He went in knowing there was a chance that something would happen to him and I fully believe given the chance he would fight again just the same. He loved me Harri, but not nearly as strong as the love that he had for you. And I am completely okay with that. I mean, George was one thing. They were two halves of one whole. But you were his best friend Harri. I remember how you guys used to have your little late night meetings. Believe me, George and I struggled with that for a while, but we quickly realized how good it was for both of you. And I am glad that Fred had a friend in you." Angie paused to wipe a tear before taking a deep breath and continuing. "Now, before the battle Fred came to me and asked a favor of me. He made me promise that if something happened to him that I would take care of you. He told me that he knew you and knew how guilty you would feel. And he also knew that you would be trying to take care of everyone else, trying to help George if it happened, instead of taking care of your pain and your hurt. Which is why I agreed. Harri, you' are the most selfless person I know. And I've always seen you as a sister of sorts because of Quidditch and dating the twins. And I think that it was a promise I had to make for my own sanity. "

Harri was stunned. Fred had asked that of his own fiancée? It made Harri feel worse almost. Angie was dealing with her own grief, and now she felt bound to help Harri with hers? If she wasn't so drained she might have felt anger, though she dismissed that thought quickly. She could never be angry with Fred again, and it hurt her to realize that. They had been fast friends since her 1st year, when he had started staying up with her in the common room when she couldn't sleep. They told each other things they hadn't even told George, or Herman and Rhondaline, and in turn it had solidified into a bond that couldn't have been broken. By nothing, but death, at least. "Angie, I appreciate it, but you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine, honest. Besides, you have a lot to worry about on your own as it is." Harri tried to manage a smile, but it was more of a grimace. She knew her lies weren't getting through to Angie, but she had to try at least. "You're not okay Harriet Potter. I know you're not, even if nobody else is seeing it. And I already have half a mind to go over and give George Weasley a piece of my mind. He has no right to hurt you like this, no matter the pain he is feeling. Fred would be furious, you know. George isn't the only one that lost him." Angelina's words were quiet and tinged with sadness and slight anger. "Don't be mad at him Ange. He's grieving and it's obvious we probably wouldn't have worked out anyways. I'm just glad he hasn't tried to hurt himself." Harri's eyes clenched shut as she flashed back to right before she had given herself to Voldemort and had been talking to the ghostly apparitions of her parents, Sirius, Remus, and Fred. "I reckon we will be seeing George soon enough. He can live without me, Harri. It's you he can't live without."

"Grief or nor grief, Harri, you love him. And I know he loves you. He could be getting through this with you and instead he had chosen to push you away. That's not fair to you. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I promised Fred I would give this to you if something happened to him, and I've been waiting to get you alone to do it. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get it to you sooner." Angelina leaned forward and handed Harri the envelope she had been holding. Harriet Potter was written on the front of the envelope in what she recognized as Fred's messy handwriting. Harriet's heart gave a pang at that messy scrawl, and she couldn't help but see the wall falling on him again in her mind before she snapped out of it and opened the envelope, pulling out the sheet of parchment that was folded up inside. Opening it up, she was surprised when a gold key fell into her hand. She glanced at Angelina, who gave her a little nod and then shifted forward to take over rocking Teddy with her foot so Harri could lean forward and read the letter.

My dear Harri Berry,

How are you doing love? I ask because I'm sure not many people are asking you this question and I know that if I ever lost you I would want someone to ask too. If you're reading this, that means that I must have kicked the bucket sometime during this blasted war, and for that Harriet, I am so, so sorry. You don't deserve to lose anyone else, Harri, and I hate to have been the one to let you down this time. I really hope that you managed to kick Moldyshorts to the curb after I died, so just for my sake I'm going to pretend that you did no matter what. But that's not the point of this letter, love. I just needed to tell you a few things, as well as ask you to do a few things for me too. First, Harri, I want to say that you were my best friend. George was the other half of me Harri, but you were the best friend I've ever had. I looked forward to our late night talks, seeing you smile. I love you Harriet, and I am so glad I got the chance to know you. You are the most kind, caring, brave person that I know. Angelina agrees too, which is why I am having her deliver this letter to you. But Harri, I need you to know that whatever happened to me, it wasn't your fault. I already know you're blaming yourself, and I need you to believe me for once. You have given up everything, lost so much to end this war. You have helped more than you know, and you shouldn't feel guilty. I would die every day if it meant that I could have done a portion of what you have done for the Wizarding World. You have the biggest hero complex, you silly girl, and I really hope that gets smaller as you age. Lord knows I'm going to be going crazy watching you risk your life now that I can look down on you anytime that I want. Anyways, I'm sure you are wondering "What is this magnificent, important-looking key that his majesty has bequeathed to me?" Well, my dear, that is the key to 1/3 of your kingdom. The Weasley's Wizard Wheezes kingdom, that is. I know you wanted to be a silent partner, Harriet, but you really are part of the brains behind the operation. And now I need you to step in and help keep the ship running until George is ready to do it himself, which I already know he is not doing. He's struggling, love, and I know this is a lot to ask of you, but I need you to help him. You guys have that kind of love that people dream about, pardon my sappiness, and I will not let you lose it. Start with the store, just clean it. Don't worry about opening it back up for now, just please take care of what you can. And Harri, don't give up on George. I know he is hurting, and I know he is probable pushing you away. And before you start feeling guilty or responsible for him, don't. Because I know you're hurting too, love, and you need to worry about yourself as well. George will come around, I just ask that you wait for him if you can. Well, this letter has become the sappiest thing I've ever laid eyes on, and I've read some of your bodice rippers. So I'm going to end it here. I love you Harri, and you were my best friend. Just remember that.

Love, the handsome twin, Frederick Gideon Weasley.

She stared at the letter as tears dripped down her face. Of all the things to happen today, this was not something she would have guessed would happen. She glanced up at Angelina and quickly wiped her tears, feeling terribly guilty. He was your friend, not your boyfriend or father of your child. Angelina is the one that should be crying right now. "Harriet Potter, you stop feeling guilty right now. I swear, I can read you like an open book. You are allowed to feel just as much grief as I am and you know it. And considering I am positive Fred just told you the same thing, it would be wrong of you to dishonor his last requests like that." Angelina gave her a pointed look and Harriet sighed. She was saved from having to answer when Teddy stirred and began to cry, She put the letter back in the envelope and then leaned down to pick the baby up from his bouncer. His bright turquoise hair was sticking up in random spikes, and his little hands were balled into fists as he stretched. Her heart warmed at the sight, and she laid him in her arms before grabbing the bottle she had prepared from the table and putting it in his mouth.

"George doesn't want anything to do with me Ange. And now I'm supposed to impose on his joke shop because his dead twin asked me to? It seems so wrong." Her voice was quiet and she didn't look up at Angelina as she talked. "Something happened between the two of you, didn't it? That's why he moved back to their flat." Angelina didn't sound accusing, just curious. "He-I..We slept together. The night before he left. I heard him crying and it broke my heart and I couldn't help but go in and it just kind of happened. And then afterwards he said he couldn't do it and wouldn't even look at me. Like he was disgusted with me Ange. And I don't ever want to feel that again. He hates me and that hurts more than I could have ever believed." The pain was there, radiating as if it was burning through her entire being. She loved George with such a passion that it had always burned bright inside her. Now it just felt like it was burning her up.

"Oh Harri. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're feeling." Angelina's concern was sincere, and that almost hurt Harri more than the pain she was feeling now hurt. 'Maybe you should talk to him. You don't have much time before you leave for Hogwarts again, and then it will be hard to communicate, even if you are a professor." The thought of talking to him now, after that night, made Harri want to crawl in a hole and hide. "I don't know Ange. Maybe after a few months, But right now I feel like I would just die if he rejected me again. And it is so pathetic I hate myself for it. Here I am whining about not being loved when Fred and Remus and so many others are dead. I'm just wretched." She shuddered, then kept bouncing Teddy, trying to focus on the quiet snores that were coming from him now instead of the guilt that was weighing her down constantly.

"You are so stubborn, I swear! Fred died with a smile on his face Harriet. And I know he is probably already trying to talk your dad into letting him be a Marauder, if he hasn't been made one already. And Remus, he knows that Teddy is being taken care of and he is with his friends again Harri. The ones that are dead are dead and they are not feeling any pain. You are and you are allowed to feel that pain. So you need to think about that and stop bottling it up. You're going to drive yourself mad doing that, and you are only hurting yourself more." With that Angelina squeezed Harriet's shoulder before standing up and walking out of the room, leaving Harriet with more to think about than she had before.

Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to get this out! I had some trouble getting down the tone and stuff that I wanted to relay for this chapter. Let me know what you think!