In this chapter, Strong Bad's going to make a deal! And before you ask, he's not going to sell his soul. His soul is kind of...precious to him.
That isn't to say that he isn't going to make a deal, though. Hey, that's what this fanfic is about.
Chapter 2: Making A Deal
Strong Bad woke up from his bed, ready to start a brand new day...and answer a few emails. He always got lots of fan mail...he was starting to wonder if he got more fan mail than Homestar Runner himself.
If so, he was very happy about it. He could brag about it to Homestar. Maybe one day HE could be the star of the website. They could call it .
On the other hand, he did appear in more toons than Homestar Runner did. It was rather ironic.
Curious, he began to hear a voice.
"Are you the person that summoned me?" asked the voice.
"What? No no no! I would never summon such an evil thing!" exclaimed Strong Sad.
"That's too bad. I can do you a lot of favors...though I will admit there's a price."
Apparently, his brother was having a conversation with someone...but with who? He had never heard such a voice before. Perhaps Free Country, USA had a visitor? Or maybe The Cheat had somehow learned how to talk...or maybe the Poopsmith was finally breaking his vow of silence.
The voice in question sounded rather feminine...though the voice in question was deeper in pitch than Marzipan's. Was Marzipan smoking cigarettes?
Either or that, Marzipan wasn't the only girl anymore...though he supposed maybe they simply had a feminine voice despite you know, being a guy.
"Well, let me know when you see him. I believe that he wanted to make a deal with me...maybe he wants fame and fortune?" asked the voice.
Suddenly, he began to realize who this individual could possibly be.
Strong Bad began to feel rather excited. It looked like his plan had worked! Perhaps Bubs ACTUALLY had sold him something useful for a change.
Maybe he should go thank him.
But for now, it was time to make a deal. This time, HE would win.
Curious, he could make out what appeared to be a tail. He began to feel rather excited. It looked like he had managed to summon Trogdor!
This was going to be awesome! Now everyone would respect him...because he had Trogdor on his side! Nobody would dare think that he wasn't cool.
"Hey there, Trogdor! I'm so glad that I managed to summon you! Now I can clobber Homestar Runner and win that cool tro-"
He stopped talking when he noticed that who he had summoned wasn't Trogdor at all.
As it turned out, he had summoned what appeared to be a demon...a female demon, incidentally. She had horns on her head, a forked tail, red skin, as well as black fur on her chest and from the waist down. Also, she had long, black hair that went down to her backside.
Finally, she happened to have red-colored eyes. Notably, her scleras were black instead of red.
Strong Bad was not happy with the turn of events.
"You're not Trogdor!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
"Why would you want to summon someone so dangerous?" asked the demon. Even the fiercest members of her kind were terrified of him.
"Because he's awesome!" bellowed the boxer.
"Yes...he's awesome at destroying everything you hold dear." answered the devil.
"What is your name, anyway?" asked Strong Bad.
"It's Inferna. Pleased to meet you. Now about making our deal...what exactly do you want? Fame and fortune? Power? Babes? What?" stated Inferna.
"I was hoping to win a race against that obnoxious Homestar Runner! I keep losing to him! It's making people think I'm uncool!" exclaimed the middle child of the Brothers Strong.
"That's it? You want to win a race? I suppose I should be grateful you're not asking for much..." answered the demon.
"I still think I should summon Trogdor..." stated Strong Bad.
"How did you summon me, anyway?" asked Inferna. He didn't look like he was some sort of wizard. In fact, he looked like he was some sort of boxer.
For some strange reason, he didn't appear to be wearing a shirt. So much for "no shirt, no shoes, no service".
"I used this book...I could have sworn I flipped to the page where Trogdor was...ah, there we go..." answered Strong Bad.
"I...really wouldn't do that if I were you..." stated Inferna.
At that very moment, The Cheat showed up. Oddly enough, he was dressed in armor and was wielding a sword.
Apparently, he was off to slay a dragon...you can probably guess which one.
"Hey, the Cheat! Are you going to some medieval costume party?" asked Strong Bad.
Curious, the Cheat looked around, and noticed that there did not appear to be a dragon around.
On the other hand, there did appear to be a demon...but that wasn't his main concern right now. Had Trogdor already left and was wreaking havoc on the citizens of Free Country, USA?
If so, he was worried for his life...and everyone else's.
"Meh meh meh meh meh!" exclaimed The Cheat.
"What? You're wondering where Trogdor is? I haven't summoned him yet! All I've summoned is a demon...a demon who I might add is going to help me with the race..." answered Strong Bad.
Inferna waved.
Immediately, The Cheat picked up the book. Fortunately, it appeared that Strong Bad had not even summoned Trogdor yet. So it looked like it was his lucky day.
He needed to get rid of that book before it did some serious damage.
Suddenly, he picked up the Homestarnomicon.
However, Strong Bad noticed what he was doing.
"The Cheat? What are you doing with my book?" asked the boxer.
"Meh meh meh!" bellowed The Cheat.
"What? You're going to throw it in the garbage? Why would you want to do that?" inquired Strong Bad. They had just gotten that book, too.
Curious, The Cheat wondered how he could get Strong Bad to throw away the book. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to realize what could happen if he tried reading out more creatures from the book. He had already summoned a demon, and he had no idea what he would read out of the book next.
Fortunately, he came up with an excuse.
"Meh meh meena!" exclaimed Strong Bad's sidekick.
"What? It's old and dusty? Let me see that!" bellowed Strong Bad, taking the book from The Cheat's hands.
Curious, Strong Bad decided to examine it.
"Whoa! This book is old and dusty! Does Bubs even have a dustpan?" asked the boxer.
Immediately, he began to dust it off.
However, in the process, some of it got in Inferna's nose.
"Ah-ah-choo!" bellowed Inferna.
As it turned out, Inferna sneezed fire...and she ended up igniting the Homestarnomicon.
"Oh no! The book! It's on fire!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
The Cheat leapt in the air. It looked like he wasn't going to have to worry about the book pretty soon. Apparently, it wasn't fireproof at all.
"Do something, The Cheat!" bellowed the boxer.
The Cheat nodded. He went into the kitchen.
Immediately, he noticed that there was a fire extinguisher in the kitchen.
However, he also noticed that there was some flammable oil that he could use.
He could simply use the fire extinguisher to put out the book...but there was no way he was going to let Strong Bad endanger their lives just so that he could summon creatures that he thought were cool.
So, he was going to select the oil sprayer.
He picked it up and went back to Strong Bad.
It appeared that he had better hurry, because the flames were starting to die down.
"Thank goodness! I was worried that I was going to lose the book..." stated Strong Bad.
"Yeah...that book's probably a rental..." noted Inferna.
Immediately, Strong Bad picked up the oil sprayer and put it on the book.
"Um..." stated the demon.
"What?" asked Strong Bad.
Not suspecting anything, Strong Bad poured oil on the book.
Once again, the flames began to ignite.
"Wait a minute, this isn't water, this is oil! Why didn't you use the fire extinguisher, The Cheat?" asked Strong Bad. They kept one in case of emergency...though Strong Bad typically used it simply to spray Homestar Runner.
The Cheat rubbed his hand behind his head. Was Strong Bad onto him? He wouldn't want to jeopardize their friendship even if the book DID need to be destroyed.
"Well, it's too late to do anything about it now! The book is ash!" exclaimed the boxer.
Inferna was about to apologize for accidentally setting it on fire...but now that she thought of it...who exactly was to blame for the burning of the book?
She wasn't quite sure.
"Well, this is just perfect! Now I can't use the book to summon any more monsters! I'm just an average bum again! Well, relatively speaking...I'm still the coolest guy in Free Country, USA!" bellowed Strong Bad.
Inferna noted that The Cheat seemed a lot happier about it than Strong Bad was. Perhaps it was for the best that the book was destroyed. Strong Bad clearly wasn't going to handle the book responsibly.
However, The Cheat had noticed that though the book had been destroyed, Inferna had not being sent back to the fiery inferno that he felt that she belonged in. Maybe he should have waited for Strong Bad to dismiss the demon before he attempted to have the book destroyed.
"So, where were we? You wanted me to help you with the race, right? I suppose if you're going to win that race you're going to need to get ready..." stated Inferna.
Strong Bad personally was hoping to cheat his way through the race as usual...but some exercise would be nice. He wanted to be the manliest guy in Free Country, USA...or at least more manly than Homestar Runner.
He was more manly than Strong Sad, at least. That was for sure.
Suddenly, Strong Bad remembered something. He hadn't checked his E-Mail in a while. His fans were going to want him to answer his mail.
"I'll be right back..." stated Strong Bad.
Curious, Inferna wondered where Strong Bad was going.
Immediately, she followed Strong Bad, stopping right outside his room so that she could take a peek.
As it turned out, he was answering his e-mail.
In this case, it was from his younger brother, Strong Sad.
"Dear Strong Bad, are you plotting to take over the world or something? I noticed that you bought the Homestarnomicon from Bubs' concession stand...I heard that it's full of dangerous creatures that you can get to obey you...I wouldn't touch that book with a 49-and-a-half-foot pole...speaking of which have you seen my 49-and-a-half-foot pole? I seem to have lost it...Sincerely, your brother Strong Sad." read Strong Bad.
Strong Bad decided to answer Strong Sad's e-mail.
"Dear Strong Sad, why would I want to do that? I'm already the ruler of Strongbadia! I just bought that book so that I could get back at Homestar Runner for making me get second place all the time. Do I look like I always deserve second place to you? As for your 49-and-a-half-foot pole...why do you want it so badly? I've never seen you use it..." said the boxer.
However, before Strong Bad could send the e-mail, he realize that he had to use the bathroom.
"I'll send that after I use the john..." thought Strong Bad.
Immediately, he left, not noticing Inferna as he did so.
Curious, Inferna decided to try using the computer while Strong Bad was gone.
"Let's see now..." stated Inferna.
After reading what Strong Sad had to say, she suddenly had a rather mischievous idea.
Immediately, she deleted what Strong Bad was going to say to Strong Sad.
She then came up with her own answer for that particular question.
"Dear Strong Sad, absolutely. You are completely and utterly at my mercy. You had better start begging it for it. And not even your precious 49-and-a-half-foot pole is going to save you! Soon I shall rule the world and there's nothing that you can do to stop me! Hahahaha!" signed Inferna.
She then sent the e-mail and left Strong Bad's room before he noticed what was going on.
Sure enough, Strong Bad entered the room a few minutes later.
"Alright, time to get back to business...wait, where did the e-mail Strong Sad sent me go? Oh well. I'll just answer another e-mail..." stated the boxer.
Immediately, he decided to answer another e-mail. This time, it was from a boy named Larry.
"Dear Strong Bad, are you sure that summoning a demon is such a good idea? From Larry in Chicago." read Strong Bad.
"Of course it's a good idea! I get to beat Homestar Runner! What's the big deal?" asked the middle child of the Brothers Strong, sending his message back.
He then left to get to work on beating Homestar Runner.
"So...are you going to train me to be a runner or something?" asked Strong Bad.
"Yeah, pretty much." answered Inferna.
Suddenly, Strong Sad approached Strong Bad. He was sweating uncontrollably.
Strong Bad wondered why his brother was so frightened.
"Huh?" asked the boxer.
"Don't hurt me! I'll do anything! You are my master and I am your servant!" screamed Strong Sad.
"What's his problem?" asked Strong Bad.
Inferna chuckled to herself. It looked like Strong Sad had received the letter that she had sent. He had no idea what had really happened.
"You are dismissed...I guess."
Strong Sad left. He seemed rather relieved.
"Let's get you running, shall we?" asked Inferna.
Strong Bad nodded. He was going to completely outclass Homestar Runner at the race, he was sure of that.
He was going to eat his dust...if the King Of Town didn't eat it first.
A few minutes later...
As it turned out, Inferna had set up a makeshift obstacle course for Strong Bad to get ready with.
Unfortunately, he tripped and fell on his face the first few seconds he started to run.
"Oof!" exclaimed Strong Bad. Was he going to trip at the finish line too?
"Oh dear..." murmured Inferna.
Fortunately, he was uninjured.
"Oof!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
Nonetheless, he kept on running, stopping for a minute to catch his breath.
"Keep going!" bellowed Inferna.
Strong Bad kept on going until he reached the finish line.
"Good job!" exclaimed the demon.
"How long did I take?" asked Strong Bad.
"About half an hour..." answered Inferna.
"Half an hour? I thought I was a speed demon!" exclaimed the boxer. He should have finished the race in under a minute!
"Unfortunately, you appear to have an overinflated opinion of yourself..." remarked the demon. Maybe that was why he called himself Strong Bad.
"Grr..." thought Strong Bad. He was going to have to do better than that if he was going to defeat Homestar Runner. Homestar Runner was the fastest person in Free Country, USA...which admittedly wasn't heavily populated.
Unbeknownst to them both, Marzipan had noticed that she wasn't the only girl in the area anymore. Now how was she going to tell people that she was the only girl?
On the other hand, maybe there wouldn't be so many people asking her on a date anymore.
Immediately, she decided to go talk to Homestar Runner about it.
"Hi, Mawzipan! So glad to see you!" bellowed Homestar Runner.
"Hey there, Homestar. Guess what? I don't think I'm the only girl anymore..." answered Marzipan.
"Wha-what?!" exclaimed the athlete, his hat nearly falling off his head.
"And I think Strong Bad might have a girlfriend now..." stated the hippie.
"You have got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Homestar.
"It's no joke, Homestar." answered Marzipan. So much for her trophies saying "Only Girl". She was going to have to toss those out, it seemed.
"Is the wowld going to end?" asked the runner.
"I don't think so. This website's been around for quite some time..." said Homestar's girlfriend.
"Oh yeah..." noted Homestar Runner. He did admit that it had gone through a massive hiatus...but other than that it appeared that the website was fine.
"Oddly enough she happened to have horns on her head and had red skin as well as a tail...maybe she's some sort of demon?" asked Marzipan.
"A demon? Oh no! To the bat cave!" exclaimed Homestar.
"Since when do you have a bat cave?" inquired Homestar's girlfriend.
"How else would I play baseball?" asked the runner.
"But you don't have arms..." pointed out Marzipan.
"I use my mouth!" explained Homestar.
"OK...forget I asked..." stated the hippie. "I don't see how bats will help us ward off demons though..." said the hippie. On the other hand, maybe the demon wasn't actually evil.
"This is so hard! How do you even get wid of a demon?" asked the demon.
Back at the race track, Inferna sneezed again. Apparently she still had dust in her nose.
"Bless you!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
Inferna gasped.
Back at Marzipan's house, Marzipan and Homestar Runner were plotting what they should do about the demon.
How did a demon get in Free Country, USA anyway? Did someone open a portal to the underworld?
Marzipan wondered if she should consult Homestar on the matter.
However, she then remembered that she had seen the demon with Strong Bad. She seemed to be helping him with something. Maybe she should ask Strong Bad instead.
But before she did that, it was time to water her flowers.
"Time to share some love!" exclaimed Marzipan as she pulled out a watering can.
"Woohoo!" bellowed Homestar.
"I'm going to share love with you later, Homestar..." answered the hippie.
"Oh." complained the runner. He was hoping for a kiss.
Well, it looks like Strong Bad's plan has worked. He has summoned a demon and now she's going to help him win a race.
And yes, it's hard to say who's responsible for the destruction of the Homestarnomicon, though it probably doesn't really matter considering that it's a good thing.