Each brother filed into the bedroom, one at a time, slowly and quietly as to not disrupt their father. The man sat up, only slightly until Hannah urged him to lay back down properly. He resigned, nodding his head tiredly as he lay back out.
Castiel had wanted to call out to him, say something, even if it was just a simple greeting, but words were frozen in his mouth. He swallowed to try and alleviate the dryness in his throat, but it hardly worked. His father's once dark hair was mostly white now, half falling out in clumps. His vibrant blue eyes were now almost vacant, gray. The facial hair that grew over his chin was thin, and short. His skin was like paper stretched over bone, the tone manila at its darkest.
Michael managed to break from the pack first, "Dad…?" he spoke softly, walking up to his father's bed with a practiced motion, as to not create noise or sudden vibrations.
Their father gave the best smile he could in his condition, a twitch of his lips that was merely a shadow of its past warmth and width. It was all the sons needed to shuffle closer, Lucifer going to the opposite side of his father's bed and kneeling down, his arms folding across the blankets. Gabriel took a seat on the corner of the bed, closest to Lucifer. Castiel wasn't sure where he should go, awkwardly shuffling at the foot of the bed, but then their father gave a gruff hoarse noise that might have been a chuckle, and Castiel watched as he patted on his bed, opposite Lucifer's position.
Castiel smiled shyly, coming up quickly to his father's other side and taking a soft seat on the edge of his father's bed, almost sitting on the pillows. His father then reached up and set a hand over Castiel's, where it sat on the comforter.
"It's good to see you, my son." Their farther spoke to him, his voice rusty. Castiel would smile… but there was so much about his father that had changed, so much that would never be the same…
"Castiel…" their father shook his son's hand slightly, gaining his attention from where his mind had wandered so far, "I don't want to see any grim faces." He told him in what meant to be a scolding manner, his eyes cutting sharp to get his point across.
Castiel swallowed and nodded his head slightly, "Sorry…" he muttered, his eyes averting their hands. His father only gave him a gentle smile in return.
"How have you been?" he asked, his thumb slowly stroking across his son's hand. "What have you been up to in Seattle?"
Castiel finally managed to smile then, "I've been writing. I've gotten a few things published." He told him meekly. Even though his father had lost his strength and the boom in his voice, his father still managed to make him feel small when he talked. Though, now, it was for an entirely different reason.
Their father's eyes closed momentarily, a smile spreading across his thinning lips, "Good," his eyes opened again, "Good." He patted Castiel's hand then let it settle back over his hand gently.
He then turned his attention over to Gabriel, "Where is Kali?" he asked, genuine concern on his features as his brows furrowed, his gray eyes glancing around the room.
Castiel could tell it took all of his might for Gabriel to not roll his eyes, "She's out." He answered at first, then quickly tacked on, "She should be back any minute." He reassured him with a small smile.
Their father smiled back, "Good. I've been meaning to speak to her." He clarified. "How was the trip to get Castiel?" he then asked. Gabriel was clearly relieved when the conversation turned to him instead of his fiancé.
The next few minutes were spent with their father asking his son's questions, finding out how they've been since he's been asleep. The whole while, his father never took his hand off of Castiel's. It was both comforting and unnerving.
After Lucifer told their father about new menu items he'd be introducing for the winter months and how they would resemble traditional home style recipes, he began to cough. The sons all shared a look, all concerned. But their father continued to cough.
And cough.
And soon, Hannah was asking the four sons to please leave the room. Their father's coughs had begun to sound painful, and at the sight of blood trickling from the side of their father's mouth, it was time to administer a new dose of medication. Unfortunately, that meant their father would be knocked out for several more hours.
Before Castiel stood though, his father squeezed his hand, just enough to make Castiel look back down at him, and his father held his gaze, just for a moment, before his coughing made him curl forward, lurching.
Michael's hands were on Castiel's shoulders, guiding him up and away. It was only until Castiel was outside their father's door that he began to shake. He wasn't sure who it was this time, but more hands were put on him, guiding him to the stairs, but before they could start ascending, Castiel's knees gave out, and he might have hit the floor if not for all his brothers grabbing him to keep him steady. Castiel was on the verge of tears, and the last thing he expected was for Gabriel to start sobbing first. His brother held Castiel close by his torso, rubbing his face against his shoulder, trying to hide his tears.
Oddly enough, Gabriel's pain was enough to defuse some of Castiel's, and the only tears that fell were easily swept away by the back of his hand and he then quickly wrapped his arms around his weeping older brother. Michael sighed, rubbing both Castiel and Gabriel's backs, standing just before the steps, his back to them. Lucifer was hugging both his younger brothers, his chin resting on Castiel's head. He looked to Michael, worried, but all Michael could do was shake his head solemnly.
After their moment by the stairs, Castiel and Gabriel were escorted upstairs, where they both sat in Gabriel's room that he shared with Kali. The room was filled with the scents of Kali's perfumes and oils, and it could hardly be called Gabriel's room. It was almost awkward for Castiel to sit on their bed, but his mind was distracted with how Gabriel's head hung low, cradled in his hands, as he tried to pull himself together. It was odd how Castiel was so used to being the one comforted by his brothers and he'd never once thought how they were affected.
It was a shock to his system to be running his hand down Gabriel's back, soothingly.
Gabriel's face was hidden to him, but he could tell, by the intakes of his breath, that he was trying to say something. He mumbled something, but it was muffled by his hands.
"What was that?" Castiel asked softly, leaning closer to his brother to hear him speak.
Gabriel inhaled deeply, his hands simultaneously running down his face, his eyes blinking slowly. He then sighed, letting his hands fall to dangle between his knees, "I said I need to get out of here."
Castiel's brows furrowed, "What do you mean?" he asked, concerned that meant Gabriel would be leaving.
"I mean I need a drink." He mumbled, his voice flat. He then looked up to Castiel, his eyes slightly reddened, "I'm kidnapping you." He told him suddenly.
"Uhh…" Castiel sat back, away from his brother then, "Where are we going?" he asked, skeptical.
Gabriel sighed, his head falling again, "Just grab your coat." He told him before he stood. "I'm gonna call Kali, tell her I need some time alone." He mumbled as he pulled his own coat from off the chair in the corner.
Castiel stood, slowly, and then left to do as he was told. He wondered where Gabriel would be taking him, but he could take a guess.
Turns out, his guess was wrong. Gabriel's car pulled into the parking lot of a popular bar in town, ignoring all the confusion Castiel sent to him with his glances. Castiel had thought, maybe, they'd take a walk in the park that their mother would often take them. Or maybe go and see her grave. Anything, anything at all other than going to a bar. Somehow, though, Castiel couldn't really imagine Gabriel being comfortable with doing any of the other options. He guessed this one made the most sense.
Castiel sighed, stepping out of the car after they had parked. It looked like there was a decent amount of patrons inside from his observations through the window. It wasn't exactly busy, but there was a crowd.
The two stepped inside, and Castiel was relieved when the smell of smoke or booze didn't overwhelm him. He didn't often go to bars, and the few he had been to were awful, or too high class. Either case had made him highly uncomfortable, thus making him leave far too early. He supposed coming here with his brother wasn't all that bad.
Gabriel had a critical eye scouting out a place for them to sit, and soon, he was dragging Castiel over to the U shaped bar, the both of them sitting on the less crowded side. Gabriel took a seat on the high bar stool with a sigh, an almost grin on his lips.
"D'You know how nice it is to just come to a bar, sit down and have a drink without worrying about someone nagging you to come home soon?" he asked, looking over to Castiel with half lidded eyes. Though of course Castiel couldn't answer, he'd never had anyone to nag him, and he'd certainly never come to a bar by himself.
Instead, he shrugged, hoping that was an answer enough for him.
Gabriel chuckled, shaking his head slightly, then called over the attention of the bar tender. He ordered for the both of them, only asking for a beer, knowing Castiel didn't drink much, and perhaps it wasn't the drinks Gabriel had wanted to come for.
Gabriel sat in silence, staring at his bottle for the longest time, sweat dripping off and onto his fingers. Before he finally spoke, he took a deep inhale and sighed, "A couple of weeks before I got the news about Dad… Kali told me she had gone to the doctor." He rubbed his hand down his face, covering his eyes as he spoke the next part, not wanting to see Castiel's initial reaction.
"She said she told him how she'd been feeling irregular and how recently she had had an odd…" He paused a moment before continuing, "Period." He sighed, his eyes still covered by his hands.
"The doctor took some tests and came back and told her…" Gabriel finally let his hand fall, and Castiel saw how his eyes had turned reddened, and glassy.
"He said that she'd went through a miscarriage." He concluded, his voice a bit broken at the end.
Castiel's eyes went wide, a wide variety of emotions suddenly washing through him. As soon as the shock melted away, he was left feeling saddened. But then again, he distinctly remembered how Gabriel had said he'd never wanted children…
So why was he crying?
"Kali told me, and she laughed about it, said 'we dodged a bullet there'…" Gabriel turned his eyes to the bar top, not wanting to meet Castiel's gaze.
"I knew she didn't want children, but I couldn't help but to feel…" his face scrunched, his head slightly shaking as he tried to figure out the right way to word his emotions about it.
"Sad…" was what he eventually went with. "When you boiled it all down, Castiel, I was sad." He then finally looked up to his younger brother, his features set in a frown.
Castiel set a hand to Gabriel's back, "I'm sorry." He told him, rubbing his back soothingly.
Gabriel shook his head then, "Castiel, I don't know…" he looked to his beer, his thumb pressing hard into the glass, "I kept telling myself it was better this way, I would've been miserable with children, but I…" he began to shake his head again, "Things are just really messed up in my head right now. And with Dad…"
He set his hand to his forehead, his eyes closing, "All I can think about is how I wasn't able to give him a grandchild." He mumbled, his brows furrowed.
Castiel wilted, hating to hear how distressed his brother was. "Gabriel, he knew not to expect any from you, and after Michael lost Beth, we all knew it would be a while still until Michael had his own." He reassured him, "And Lucifer…" he paused, trying to explain his brother's situation.
"Is Lucifer…" Gabriel provided with a roll of his eyes.
"Exactly." Castiel replied, patting Gabriel's back. "So don't beat yourself up about that. I think Dad is just happy that you have someone." He told him. Honestly, he knew Gabriel wouldn't be able to handle children, and if he did ever have one, he was certain Gabriel would be miserable. But he supposed everyone went through a period of time where they feel their lives couldn't be fulfilled without them.
"You're just having one of those moments." He told Gabriel, vaguely.
Gabriel glanced over to Castiel, a small half smile curling the corner of his lip, "It's weird how you don't know what you're doing, and yet you're kind of making me feel better." He informed him.
Castiel's brows furrowed, "I know what I'm doing." He retorted. He may not be the one always comforting everyone, but he knew how to talk someone through a rough time. Of course, he supposed his brothers didn't know that, seeing as how he'd never had the opportunity to comfort them through a bad time, but he'd been great with helping his friend Chuck through his parent's divorce.
Gabriel chuckled, "Okay." He submitted, taking a drink from his beer.
Castiel set his eyes sternly to Gabriel, but eventually let it go, sighing, then followed behind Gabriel, taking a sip of his own drink.
The duration of their beer's lifespan was spent in relative silence, though it wasn't uncomfortable. There was a view of outside through the windows across from where they sat, and Castiel could see there were storm clouds forming, though he wasn't concerned.
It was as he took the last sip of his beer did he notice a man coming over and taking the unoccupied seat just one away from Castiel. He had only glanced at the man, once, acknowledging his presence before he was staring out the window again.
He wondered if anyone at home cared that they were out drinking in the afternoon. Then again, they were hardly drinking. He glanced through his peripheral at Gabriel and he saw he had no interest in ordering a second drink. He suspected they'd be leaving soon.
Just before he wanted to stand, he heard the man beside him speak up to the bartender, "Hey man, do you happen to have change for a twenty?"
Castiel glanced over, though he hadn't intended to see such a gorgeous man beside him. His dirty blond hair was styled methodically, looking to be a signature look of his, and his defined jaw line was something to admire. His voice alone was intoxicating, and for a moment, he just watched the man's face as he talked with the bartender.
Castiel quickly looked back down at his empty glass, his eyes slightly bugging. Had he just checked out that man? Why was he suddenly blushing?
Before he could answer his own questions, there was a hand slapping lightly on the bar, just to his left, and Castiel realized the man was trying to gain his attention.
Shit.
He turned to him, swallowing so he could speak if necessary.
"Hey, sorry to bother you, but do you have five ones? I only got fives from the bartender." He explained, four five dollar bills in his other hand as proof. One brow was arched over a set of beautifully green eyes, and Castiel was lucky he managed a "Sure."
Though he turned to his brother and was quickly worming a hand into his coat pocket and taking out his wallet, "Hey…" was the only protest he got from Gabriel who sat with his brows furrowed at him.
"I don't have any ones." He explained maybe a little too quickly.
He then turned back to the man who was now smiling just the smallest bit, amused. He pulled out five ones from Gabriel's wallet and handed them to the man.
He grinned, accepting the cash and handed back a five, "Thanks."
Castiel managed to smile back, though all he managed was another, "Sure."
The man chuckled, nodded once then stood and left from the bar. It surprised Castiel that he still felt it necessary to keep glancing back to watch the man leave. It wasn't until the man was completely gone that he realized he'd only said two words to him, which were both the same word…
He sighed, his eyes closing in embarrassment.
When he opened his eyes, he wasn't expecting Gabriel to be leaning his elbow on the bar, staring at him with a highly amused grin. "What was that?" he asked, his voice sing-song.
Castiel's face turned red again, and he only shook his head. Though, really, was he sure what that even was?
It had always been a running joke amongst the brothers that the reason Castiel never seemed to be interested in any woman was that he had to be gay. It was never a hurtful assumption, or a negative accusation, but then again Castiel had never really outright denied it. He'd roll his eyes, or tell them to quit it, but he'd never felt the need to tell them otherwise.
Like earlier today, when Lucifer had been joking around and had called Castiel gay… He wasn't even sure if he'd even made a comment on that.
There were many things that Castiel didn't understand, and one of them was definitely his own sexuality. He'd never given it much thought, other than how he wasn't really attracted to any certain girl, or woman. None of them had every really stuck out to him. Sure, most of them had been nice, and pretty, but it was never an urge of his to actively seek out any of them. And really, he'd never thought about looking at a man that way.
And then that happened.
"I don't know…" he finally told Gabriel with a furrowed brow.
Gabriel's grin spread wider, "Do you need another drink?" he asked, amusement tickling his words.
"Yes." Castiel answered simply. Maybe they'd be doing a bit more drinking than expected.
Okay, I've never known a bartender to not have ones in the register, but for the sake of furthering the plot and getting us closer to Destiel, the bartender steals from the cash register.
Only ones, though.
(BLD)