Second Chances: Chapter 39

Stardate 51159
March 2374
San Francisco, Earth

Welcome home, sir.

Lt. B'Elanna Torres knew she should have been glad, or at least relieved, to hear those words, but she couldn't get over the sudden and unexpected feeling of loss. "He was there," she said to Owen, hearing her voice crack. "Tom. He was there."

"It wasn't your Tom, B'Elanna," he said gently.

"I know that!" she snapped. But those men had looked like Tom, had sounded like Tom, had been Tom. And they had been alive. Just lost. "He was real, Owen," she said, her voice softened. "It was real. I was on Voyager, and Tom was there, and..." Her eyes widened at the realization that she had been on Voyager, and was now on Earth, but that she had been on Mars, and she didn't know how she had gotten to Earth. Or how an alternate version of her would have dealt with a hyperactive toddler. "Izzy?" she asked sharply.

"At the house," Owen said reassuredly. He glanced up at the chronometer. "Hopefully, asleep."

"I need to see her," she said, now heading for the door, but Owen stopped her.

"Let her sleep," he said gently. "You know she doesn't do that enough."

She wanted to argue, but knew that he was right. Izzy wasn't yet three; she definitely didn't understand quantum mechanics and likely hadn't noticed anything different about her mother over the last few days. Waking her up to assure B'Elanna that she was safe would be counter productive. "In that case, I need to get to an astrometics lab," she said. "I tried to memorize as much about what those Voyagers had been through as I could."

Owen smiled slightly as he led her down the corridor. "I had the other version of you do the same thing this morning," he said. She stopped and looked at him.

"You think he might still be out there, too," she finally said.

"I don't know," he admitted. "But if we don't try..."

They spent the next several hours in the astrometrics lab. It didn't take Torres long to realize that the data she collected from the first Voyager was already in the database; in fact, it had the most information, much more detailed than what she managed to collect in her one day there. That must have been the B'Elanna Torres who had taken her place. She could dwell on that later, but first entered the information she gathered from her second Voyager. The one with the Tom who had grown up down the street, with the baby who kept them up, with the John Torres who hadn't given up on his eldest daughter.

It was well past midnight when they returned to the Paris house, but the adults were all still up. "Are you the right person?" Nicki called out from the living room.

"I have an overbearing sister-in-law. Does that sound familiar?" B'Elanna shot back.

"Sydney's right here. You don't have to be rude," Nicki said. Sydney snorted.

"Ha," B'Elanna said.

"Wine or whiskey?" Jason asked as B'Elanna and Owen entered the living room. B'Elanna shook her head.

"I'm going to check on Izzy," she said, turning to head for the stairs.

Izzy was in her usual bed in the grandkid room, surprisingly asleep, considering that the other beds were occupied with cousins and that much excitement was usually not conducive to sleep. B'Elanna spent a minute watching her sleep, thinking about that tiny six-week-old baby she had held just hours before and how tired Tom was. She smiled at the thought. He really was a good father, just like she knew he would be. "Your dad would have been so good with you," she murmured to the sleeping child. "But he would have complained every second along the way." She kissed Izzy on the forehead before rising and heading back to the living room.

"I'll take that whiskey now," she said to Jason, who was more than happy to pour a generous glass.

"Cheers," he said. "I'm happy to let you Starfleet officers do the hopping around to alternate realities. I don't think I could handle it."

"You couldn't, babe," Nicki said cheerfully. B'Elanna snorted.

"You may wear a uniform, Nicki, but your understanding of quantum mechanics leaves a lot to be desired."

"We all have our strengths," she said mildly as she took a sip of her wine. "So do you think it's possible?"

B'Elanna wasn't thrown by the non-sequitor, knowing that Nicki was talking about Voyager. "Yes," she said simply. "But it's also possible that the ship really was destroyed. And it's possible that it got transported somewhere completely unrelated, or that they took a different route home. Every possible outcome exists, somewhere. It's just a matter of which possible outcome exists here, in this universe."

"I'm glad my two weeks of Officer training didn't include quantum mechanics," Nicki said. "I'm already confused."

"That's not hard," Sydney replied. B'Elanna smiled at their teasing as swirled the whiskey in her glass.

"Tell us about your trip," Nicki said, and B'Elanna took a sip as she thought about where to begin.

"I think my life here has been pretty easy," she said, and all the adults—even Jens—looked at her in disbelief.

"You're joking, right?" Nicki finally asked. "Your father leaves you, you almost die on a training exercise—"

"Your husband dies. Or disappears," Sydney chimed in.

"You have a complicated pregnancy," Nicki added.

"And you raise your daughter by yourself," Alicia said. "After your mother dies."

"You have a really complicated job that none of us fully understand," Jason contributed.

"I think that says more about you than me," B'Elanna interjected.

"You get sent on an undercover mission with three days' warning and crash on a planet in enemy space," Owen added as if she hadn't spoken.

"Our point, B'Elanna," Nicki said, "is that you haven't had an easy life. It's just that you're strong enough to handle everything life throws at you."

B'Elanna took a sip of her whiskey instead of arguing, because from what she could gather, the alternate versions of her weren't any weaker than she was. They were more alone. The first hadn't had Tom to help her survive the Academy and had tried to find a family in the Maquis, only to get thrown to the Delta quadrant. The second had had a good start, but then was alienated from her family—and Tom—when forced to go on an undercover mission with the Maquis.

Neither of them had Navi, neither had Izzy, neither had Nicki to joke with or Sydney to make her run or Owen to bounce around ideas with or Alicia for her unconditional love.

It had taken her years to understand Tom's lessons about needing other people, and now couldn't understand why that had been such a difficult concept for her to grasp.

Like they did every time they were on Earth, B'Elanna and Izzy met Navi for lunch. "There are an infinite number of universes where you and Tom are together," the fourteen-year-old declared with excitement after B'Elanna had filled her in on the events of the last few days, her black eyes shining. "Of course, there are also an infinite number of universes where you aren't together, or where you never meet, or where one of you doesn't exist, or both don't exist. None of those infinities is any larger than any other, of course, because infinities—"

"Navi," B'Elanna interrupted. "I've taken a lot more math and theoretical physics courses than you." Even though she had known her sister now for more than seven years, it was still odd talking to her. At fourteen, she looked young and could probably pass for twelve, at least until she opened her mouth. She was far ahead of her peers academically and probably had the mental capacity of someone twice her age, and the juxtaposition of talking about advanced theoretical physics to somebody who looked like she should still be a child was unnerving.

"Did you know that there's a mirror universe, where everyone who's here is supposedly there, but everything is different?" Navi continued, still excited.

"I know that," B'Elanna said, "but how do you know that?"

Navi waved dismissively, as if discussing classified mirror universes wasn't a big deal. "The thing is, that doesn't even make sense," she said. "In that universe, humans are, what, slaves? So how does Dad meet both of our mothers..." Her voice trailed off as a look of horror crossed her face. "Oh, gods. What if he was some sort of sex slave or something?"

"I'm sure slightly-built human engineers are in high sexual demand among both the Klingon-Cardassian Alliance and...wherever a Betazoid/Vulcan hybrid would be in the mirror universe," B'Elanna said dryly. Truth be told, she didn't want to think about the sex life of an alternate John anymore than she cared to think of her parents' sex lives.

"Eww," Navi declared. "Anyway, there was a Betazoid quantum mechanic—or maybe philosopher—quantum philosopher?—Anyway, she had a theory that souls are linked, that there are some people who are together more frequently than one would predict if assortments of people were random in alternate universes, that some souls just find each other. Now, she didn't refer to them as 'souls,' so to speak, because Betazoids—"

"Navi," B'Elanna interrupted again. Her half-sister was taking faster than normal, her words barely making sense, and B'Elanna wasn't any sort of mental health professional, but had gleaned enough from her own mental health issues and from spending time with Navi to know that that wasn't normal and should probably be addressed. But Navi's mother was a mental health professional, so B'Elanna wasn't going to be the one addressing it. "What's with all the Betazoid philosophy?"

"I'm reading up on Betazoid culture," Navi explained. "Mom's sending me off to spend the summer holiday with my grandmother. I've never lived on Betazed before, so I thought I should learn some stuff."

"And you started with quantum philosophy?" Navi just shrugged in response. "Do you want to go to Betazed?"

Navi shrugged again. "Not really," she admitted. "I love my grandmother, but she's really overbearing, and four weeks is a long time to be the only object of her attention. And I should spend the time studying. I have my first round of exams for the Academy next year, after all."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes; she couldn't remember even studying for her first round of Academy entrance exams. Or her second, and only studied for her final entrance exams because study time for them was built into Plebe Summer. "I think you'll be okay," she said dryly.

"If I'm going to be a hybrid neurologist, I need to be better than 'okay,'" Navi protested, and B'Elanna rolled her eyes again.

"The only board-certified hybrid neurologist is your godfather," she pointed out. "Believe me. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's exactly what I have to worry about!" Navi exclaimed. "I don't want people to think I got into the Academy or the Medical Academy or neurology or hybridology training just because my mom's a hybrid psychologist or Moshe Zalun is my godfather. Oh! Can I take Izzy to the San Francisco Symphony tomorrow?"

"You've met Izzy," B'Elanna replied mildly. "I think we can agree that she's not ready for the symphony." They both paused to look at the toddler in question, who at that moment was rolling around in the grass of the park.

"No, they're having a kids' concert," Navi insisted. "It's in the outdoor amphitheater where they can play and everything. Zak—you know, Moshe's husband, he's the primary violinist—told me about it, but I'm worried that if I go without a small child that they'll get the impression I am the small child, and that's not the impression I want to give when I'm hoping to be starting at the Academy in two years."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes again. "I'll ask Sydney and Nicki if either of them is interested in taking their kids," she said, and Navi frowned.

"I can take Izzy without adult supervision," she argued.

"Navi, you're fourteen, and Izzy is a handful. You're not taking my daughter anywhere without adult supervision," B'Elanna said, and when her half-sister rolled her eyes, she got yet another reminder that she was dealing with a teenager. Thinking it was time to close that subject, she asked, "What does John think of you spending a month on Betazed?"

"Oh, he doesn't want me to go," Navi said dismissively. "You know how he is." She winced as soon as the words were out of her mouth. "Sorry," she said automatically. "I've been a bit manic lately, and I tend to speak without thinking when I'm manic."

At least B'Elanna knew that she hadn't been completely off-base when she thought that Navi was acting weird, even for her. "Sounds like you need to see Dr. Bayrote."

"Oh, I'm not seeing Bayrote anymore," Navi said, waving her hand dismissively. "There's a new hybrid psychiatrist. I like her more. She doesn't want me to get the gene therapy."

"It made a big difference for me," B'Elanna said.

"But you're not a telepath," Navi countered. "I need my brain."

"Right," B'Elanna said dryly. "I do just fine without mine."

"That's not what I meant!" Navi protested. "It's hard to explain. Telepathy is a big part of who I am, and I'm just not willing to do anything that might mess with that. But I probably do need to get the mania treated," she admitted.

"Probably before you leave to Betazed and infect a whole planet of telepaths with it," B'Elanna said. Navi rolled her eyes.

"I'm not contagious," she said defensively.

"Are you sure?" B'Elanna asked. "I'm feeling a little on edge just listening to you."

Navi rolled her eyes and took a drink of her water. "Come to dinner," she said abruptly. "You haven't been in a while."

"That's because Izzy and I live on Mars."

"But you're here now," Navi pointed. "And you're going to be leaving for Mars again soon. So, come to dinner. You know Dad likes to see Izzy. And Mom, too, even though every time you guys come to visit she tells me that there's no rush in having kids." Navi rolled her eyes. "Please. I'm fourteen. There are zero plans for having kids in the next decade. Probably two."

"That line of thinking worked out well for me," B'Elanna said dryly. She shook her head at Navi's previous requests. "I don't think so about dinner tonight. I'm not sure I'm ready to face John, knowing there's a John Torres who exists out there who didn't give up on me."

"But then you don't get me," Navi pointed out. "Kaia and Deven," she scoffed. "Who are those people, anyway?"

"They're probably a lot easier to deal with than you when you're manic," B'Elanna pointed out. Navi tilted her head in acknowledgement.

"Okay, you might have a point," she conceded. "I will say, though, of all the possible universes out there and all the possible outcomes, I'm glad we have each other in this one."