Chapter 2: First Trimester
August 2013
Harry sat waiting anxiously in the reception of the Healer's office while they prepared Luna for her tests, wondering how Draco could look so cool and collected. She'd called them that morning after getting the results of a positive pregnancy spell, and they'd immediately called the Healer they'd been working with over the prior two months to get it confirmed.
"Harry, Draco, you can come in now, we're ready for you."
Harry smiled at Padma, Healer Patil now, and followed her back to where Luna was waiting, discreetly covered with her still flat abdomen exposed. He and Draco each sat down next to her, and Draco took her hand.
"So first," Padma began with a smile, "I can start by wishing you all a very huge congratulations. Luna, you are most definitely pregnant, and since we know the date of insemination and ovulation, as we handled it here in the office, I can give a confident expected due date of March 30. Remember, that's just an estimate. The baby will usually come anytime two weeks before to two weeks after."
Harry could feel his heartbeat speeding up and looked down at Luna beaming at him, while Draco sat stiff and proper next to him. Now that Harry was paying more attention, he realized his husband was obviously nervous, as the Malfoy mask was firmly in place.
Harry's excitement outweighed his nervousness, however. "What else can you tell us, Padma? When can we tell the gender? Is everything healthy? There's only one in there, right? Can we see it?"
Padma laughed. "Calm down, Dad. Give me a chance. We won't be able to tell the gender for another three months or so. The baby is very healthy, as is Luna, and Luna will have an appointment with me every month over the next seven months to ensure they remain so. It's too soon to do an ultrasound that will let us see the baby, but if you like, I can let you hear the heartbeat."
Harry looked at Luna who was still smiling serenely, then to Draco who looked to be trying to maintain his facade. "That'd be wonderful, thank you."
Padma approached Luna and cast a quiet spell that sounded related to the traditional Sonorus charm. Suddenly, the quiet was disrupted by a steady thud, thud, thud, thud, that seemed to Harry far too fast for anything that could be considered human. Harry grabbed Draco's arm, speechless.
Draco suddenly stood, muttered a firm "Excuse me", and left the room. Padma and Luna looked at Harry in shock at the sudden departure.
Harry covered his own surprise at the outburst and smiled at the women. "I think he's just overwhelmed. I'll go find him in a minute and take him home. Padma, can you owl me a list of books you think we might find helpful? I want to know everything, and we want to be there for Luna every step of the way. Please?"
"Of course, Harry. And we're pretty much done here until her next appointment."
"Harry, go on. Make sure he's okay, and I'll stop by this evening. You're fully moved into the new house, correct?"
"Yeah. Why don't you come for dinner? I'll make your favourite soup."
"Perfect. Now go on. I'll see you tonight."
Harry nodded, distracted by Draco's behaviour, and gave Luna a hug before leaving. He expected to find his husband in the waiting room, but the receptionist caught his attention. "He left. Asked me to tell you he'd meet you at home."
"Did he look upset?"
"Couldn't read his face for anything. Sorry. Looked fine, if a little cold, if you ask me." She hesitated and realized what she'd said. "Oh, my. I didn't mean to say that. Please excuse me, Mr Potter, no offence was meant."
"None taken. Thank you for your help. I'm sure we'll see you again soon."
Harry left and wandered out of the offices near St Mungos, puzzled over Draco's actions. He didn't think he'd be upset, so was he just so overwhelmed that he was embarrassed and didn't want the others to see him in that condition? Apparating home, he called out as he entered the house.
"Draco?" Nothing. Casius, the crup puppy he'd gotten for Draco for Christmas charged down the stairs and greeted Harry eagerly, brown ears flopping with each jump. "He's not home, huh? Come on, let's go for a walk and see if we can figure this out."
It was nearly eight o'clock that evening before Harry heard Draco enter the house. Harry had left dinner out for him under a warming charm, but Draco didn't stop in the kitchen on his way upstairs. Harry watched him pass the family room where he sat alone in the darkened room.
Draco had stormed out of the office more than eight hours before. During that time, Harry had run through a variety of emotions. He'd started at confused, then adjusted to upset, to angry, and finally, he'd settled on frightened. What if something had happened to him? What if he'd been attacked, or hurt, or… But he hadn't. He was here, and he was fine, and he hadn't sent an owl, or a Patronus. He hadn't been at his mother's, or Pansy's, or even Hermione's.
Harry had sent Luna a message to postpone dinner for a day or two, that they had unexpected plans that evening. Unexpected, indeed. So now he was simply irate.
He heard the shower turn on in their bedroom and slowly made his way up the stairs, past the guest room, Teddy's room, his training studio, and the small room they were planning on turning into a nursery. Entering their bedroom, he walked to the window and sat in the armchair they'd positioned there for thinking and waited for Draco to finish.
As he sat, he felt his anger begin to edge into fury. How dare he think that he could just disappear like that without a word? How dare he embarrass Harry like that in front of Luna and Padma? How dare he treat Luna, the mother of their child, in that manner? He didn't know how this conversation was going to go, but he knew he needed answers.
Finally, the door to the bath opened with a puff of steam, and Draco exited with a pair of sleep pants settled on his hips and an old cotton tee of Harry's hanging from his shoulders. Most of Harry's clothes hung on Draco like that, stretched by his muscular shoulders honed from years of Auror work.
Draco didn't startle at Harry's appearance. Of course, he'd expect him. Harry just stared at him from where he sat, bent at the waist, arms resting on his thighs, hands wrapped together into a clenched fist.
Finally, Draco spoke, his voice flat. "I'm sorry. I don't have any excuse for today. I have reasons, and I'll explain them, but no excuse."
Harry grunted. He wasn't going to be talked down from his peak that easily.
Draco sat down on the edge of the bed. "I panicked, okay? I heard the heartbeat, and it all became so real, so clear that this was happening, and I panicked."
"Really? What the fuck, Draco?" He heard his voice getting louder but didn't care. "Of course, it's real. What the hell did you think I was doing wanking into a cup and Luna injecting herself with hormones? How did that just now occur to you?"
"I know! Don't you think I've been saying the same thing to myself all day? But it didn't feel real, I guess. And I want this. I do! I just, I don't know how to do it. I'm going to fuck it all up just like I did today and it's going to be this little person with this little heartbeat, and it'll be all my fault."
"If you run away, then yes, you're going to fuck it up."
Draco jerked his head around and stared at Harry in disbelief.
"What, you want me to sugarcoat it?" Harry could feel his magic pulse and the window rattled, but he ignored it. "The only way you can fuck this up is if you give up, if you run away like you did today. So what's it going to be, Draco? Are you going to stick around and work with me together on this, or are you going to run away when you get scared and leave me alone to worry about you and deal with it all myself? Because I don't need that. I need a fucking partner."
Harry almost felt bad when he saw the flash of hurt on his husband's face, but then he reminded himself of the eight hours of worry that day.
"Harry, I—"
"You what? Forgot how to send a Patronus? Couldn't send an owl? Couldn't find a floo to call me? Wait, wait, I got it. You forgot how to Apparate." Unable to sit still any longer, Harry got up and began to pace, trying to let some energy out before he punched something. "Goddammit, Draco! I spent the entire day worried about you. What was wrong, why did you leave, why weren't you home yet, why hadn't you called, what had happened to you? And you just come in and go take a shower like everything is normal."
"I said I was sorry." Draco's voice was flat and emotionless, and Harry again felt a twinge of guilt. "But obviously you're not willing to listen."
Harry took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then another, and another. Draco sat in silence as Harry worked to bring his anger under control. Finally, feeling slightly more settled, he tried again. "I'll listen. I'm sorry I cut you off; it was wrong of me to do so."
"I was at the cemetery most of the day. Two cemeteries, actually. I went to see my father's grave, and spent a while there contemplating what kind of father I will be, if I can break free from the poisonous upbringing he created."
Harry sat in silence. It was rare that Draco would speak of his father, and now that his anger was ebbing, he didn't want to interrupt.
"I considered what good he had done, if any, and realized that there were some things he did with me that I think were good. He didn't completely screw it up."
"No. Not completely."
Draco nodded. "Then I went to Godric's Hollow."
Harry was shocked. That was possibly the last place he would have thought to look for Draco.
"I stopped at the cemetery to pay respects to your parents, then I walked through the streets and went to the cottage." Harry didn't have to ask. He knew what cottage, the one that his parents and he had lived in for the first year of his life. "I tried to figure out if I could do that, what your father did. Could I sacrifice my life for my child, for that heartbeat we heard today? Could I give up everything for the hope that he or she could live a long life? I don't know the answer to that, and it scares me."
Harry nodded. He'd wondered that himself, but knowing that he'd do he'd lay down his life for Draco, or Hermione and Ron, and being put in the actual position of nearly doing so multiple times in his life had made that question much easier for Harry. Of course, he could do that for their child, and he would do it without a thought if it ever came to it.
"So you've been in Godric's Hollow all day?"
"Not quite. I finally decided to go see the only Grandfather this baby will know, to talk to him."
Harry puzzled over that for a moment, then looked sucked in a breath. "You went to the Burrow?" Now that was the last place he would have thought Draco would go.
"Yes, I went to the Burrow." Draco raised his chin, daring Harry to make a big deal over it. "Who better to talk to me about what I was feeling then Arthur Weasley? Except Molly and Arthur had Gen and Ethan over for dinner, and they invited me to stay. I ended up not telling them why I was there, and I just watched. I thought about Gen, and all she'd been through when he had Ethan, and I watched them together. She loves that boy so much, even after he was born as a result of a violent attack. Then I thought of that little heartbeat, waiting for me to take care of it."
His voice got quiet, and Harry leaned in to listen.
"I realized that I already love it. It's just a heartbeat, a little thud in Luna's stomach, but I love it already. I think that's why I freaked out." He paused, staring at the floor. "I'm sorry, Harry. I should have stayed there with you and supported Luna, and come back and spent the evening making plans with you. Instead, I left you here by yourself to worry and wonder." He looked up and met Harry's eyes. "It was wrong of me, and I regret it."
Harry got up and crossed to the bed where Draco was now sitting. "Never again, Draco. If you need time, you just say so. Tell me you're going and go, but don't leave me with no word like that."
Draco nodded and took his hand. "I can't believe we're having a baby."
Harry grinned. "Yeah, we're having a baby."
September 2013
"Hermione, are you sure you don't want me to leave the room?" Harry asked in a panic.
"Yes, Harry, I'm sure! Now stop trying to get out of here and just hold my hand. Here comes another one." Hermione used her practised breathing strategies through the next contraction, then relaxed and started pacing the labouring room again.
"When is Ron getting back?"
"He's laying down until it's closer to time. He barely slept, walking me around the house all night since I refused to come again and just get sent back home. It worked though, and I will have this baby today."
Harry laughed. His best friend was still a force of nature. "Shit, Harry, bloody buggering hell, here comes another one. This one really hu—" She cut off with a scream. "—hurts. Fuck. Breathe, Hermione," she muttered to herself. "You can do this."
"Hermione, that was only about two minutes apart. I was reading in the book you gave us that that means it's getting close. Are you sure I shouldn't get Ron yet?"
"Yes, I'm sure, but can you sing to me or something?"
"Seriously?"
"Yes, seriously. I love it when you sing, and it'll give me something else to concentrate on."
He looked down at his best friend of twenty-two years and thought of all she'd done for him. Surely he could sing for her while she was in labour. "Uh, sure. Let me think of something." What the hell was appropriate for a woman in labour?
"Here we go!" She bent over the bed and breathed through another while Harry rubbed her back, then he decided on a song. As her contraction receded, he began.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Hermione laughed quietly. "I should have known you'd pick the Beatles."
"Should I choose something else?"
"No, Harry, it's perfect. Keep going, especially when the next contraction hits, okay?"
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night
Harry looked up and saw Draco watching him from the doorway. He shrugged but grew warm at the look in his husband's eye. It was Draco's soft look, and it made Harry embarrassed and pleased that it should be so easily bestowed upon him.
Hermione started into another contraction and Harry took the chance to mouth to Draco in between lyrics, "Get Ron." Draco nodded and disappeared as the Healer entered the room.
"Well, Mrs Granger-Weasley, the alarm charms we set on you have gone off. You are at ten centimetres, darling. You are about to have a baby."
"No! Wait! I can't, my husband isn't here!"
"I'm right here, Mione!" Ron ran into the room and Harry stepped aside. Hermione didn't notice now that Ron was back, and Harry was happy to leave them to it. He loved Hermione and would do anything for her, but there was only so much one wanted to see of their best friend.
Draco was waiting for him in the hall. "Well?"
"Well, she's having a baby. And I think I need a healer for my hand. Holy shite!" Harry shook out his hand.
Draco laughed. "I'll let you take that duty with Luna. My hands are too delicate."
Harry looked down at the tiny little head of red curls and sighed. He'd held babies before, but never one so new. Ron came up next to him.
"Did you smell her?"
"Smell her? Why the hell would I smell her?" Harry asked quietly, appalled at the idea.
"New babies have a special smell. Go ahead, smell her head." Ron laughed at Harry's glare. "Seriously, I'm not taking the mickey."
Harry leaned down and put his nose close to the baby's head and inhaled. She smelled new. And fresh. There was no other way to describe it. "Ron, that's crazy."
He laughed. "I know, right? So, Harry, uhh, we were wondering. I know you already have two godchildren, but would you take on one more? Please?"
Harry smiled. "Of course. There's no way I'd turn you down, you know that, Ron."
Ron gave him a huge smile. "Perfect. So now you can't complain when we name her after you."
"What?" Harry bellowed, making the baby start to fuss.
Ron took her from him, and with the practised ease of someone with many nieces and nephews, he soothed the newborn. "Shhhh, you'll wake your mama. She's had a long couple of days there, Rosie Harriet."
"Ronald Weasley, you'd better be fucking with me," Harry hissed.
"I'm not. Rose Harriet Granger-Weasley, meet your Godfather, Harry Potter."
Harry heaved an audible sigh. "For fuck's sake." He looked up. "I'm not naming mine Hermione or Ronald, so—"
Ron snorted. "I'd certainly hope not. I can't imagine Malfoy taking too well to that."
Harry looked over to where Draco sat, petting Hermione's hair as she slept. "Well, he might be persuaded for Hermione, come to think of it. He does seem to love her."
"Strangest friendship I ever saw, but yeah."
"Well, I think we're going to leave you both here for tonight. Do you need help getting home tomorrow?"
"No, Mum and Dad are coming to help. How's Luna?"
"Perfect. You'd never know she's pregnant. No morning sickness or anything."
"Figures. Don't tell Hermione, she might hex her for good measure. Be glad you weren't here to see her first trimester. She was miserable."
"Draco said as much." Harry turned to his husband. "Ready, love?"
Draco stood and joined them, running a finger along the little foot sticking out of the blanket. "Thank you, Ronald, for allowing me to be here. She's beautiful. They both are. Congratulations."
Ron smiled. "Thank you, Draco. I'm a lucky man. Now, get your man home. He may need help recovering from his trials today," he finished with a laugh.
A/N: Song used was Blackbird, Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney Blackbird lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Tratore