Second Chances: Chapter 62

A/N: My posting has outpaced my writing, unfortunately. I'm going to have to go back to my previous schedule of only posting once a week, which will usually be on Sundays. I couldn't leave you with a cliff-hanger, though, so here's your last Wednesday post for a while.

Also, long chapter. Sorry/enjoy. Whichever applies here.

Stardate 52346
July 2375
AR-558
Chin'toka System

"Nu!" Torres exclaimed as she ran forward.

"The mine!" Chief Nieto exclaimed at the same moment, lunging to intercept the offending mine before it made its way to the floor.

"I'm okay!" Nu said. She was crouched on the floor and tried to rise, but then reconsidered and moved to a seated position. She blinked in and out of existence a few times, and for several horrifying seconds, Torres thought that the subspace mine had somehow trapped her somewhere between subspace and normal space. And then Torres remembered that, like the Jem'Hadar, Xaheans had the ability to cloak themselves. It was a fun trick that had delighted Izzy the first time the two had met, and Nu had explained that it could also be an involuntary response when startled. "It caught me by surprise," the cadet admitted.

"We need a medical team!" Nieto shouted to no one in particular. Fortunately, one of the techs ran out to get medical team from the infirmary. "What happened?" he demanded to Nu.

"It was the charging pin, not the explosive itself," she explained. Her inner eyelids blinked, and then her whole body rapidly cloaked and uncloaked again before she stabilized and turned to Torres, an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry, sir. That was a stupid mistake. I was working too fast."

"The charging pin still packs quite the punch," Nieto said. "How are you still talking?"

"Exoskeleton," Nu explained with a quick grin. She moved her hands from her chest to reveal a hole in her uniform, through which a dark plate could be seen, smeared with bright orange blood. She winced. "I think I cracked it, though." Two medics appeared with a litter, ready to take Nu to the field infirmary. She tried to wave them off. "I'm fine," she protested.

"Go," Torres commanded. "You're no good to me injured. I'll be in to see you as soon as I can get away. We'll discuss what happened later." As she turned to go back to her control panel, she caught the mortified look on Nu's face. She knew she was being harsher on the cadet than necessary—she was pretty sure the cracked exoskeleton was punishment enough for her sloppy work—but was too angry to deal with that now.

Nu knew better. She was a better engineer than that, and Torres was beyond angry that after all she had done to stand up for Nu's skills and justify why she needed the cadet on her team, Nu had made such a stupid mistake and proven everyone right.

An hour later, Lts. Torres and Riccobono had established a link between the relay and the CRC. *We're downloading now,* the communications officer from CRC announced. *This is a lot of data. At this rate, it'll be about twenty hours before the download is complete.*

"We're here for a few days anyway, until the Veracruz returns from Starbase 371," Torres replied. "We should be able to hold the line open until it's complete. Comm if you need anything from our end."

She and Riccobono shared a tired grin. "You should get some rest, sir," Lt. Riccobono said. "Not much we can do here while the data's being transferred."

Torres nodded distractedly as she checked her chronometer; a little after 2200. They had been on the surface for 14 hours. Everyone else on her team had either had a rest period or was resting now. "You got it in here while I'm gone?" she asked. He nodded to the affirmative, and for the first time since she spoken to Chief O'Brien that morning, she left the room with the relay station.

She heard the distant sounds of phaser rifles as she headed toward the field infirmary. She had known the Jem'Hadar were back when the subspace mines began exploding, but she hadn't fully thought through the ramifications of that or realized that that meant that there would be actual fighting.

Or actual injuries, as she saw as soon as she stepped into the field infirmary.

Nicki had been Izzy's pediatrician since Dr. Solaris Jaxon left for DS9, but B'Elanna still always saw her more as her sister-in-law than an actual physician. Until that moment. She was exactly as B'Elanna would expect of a Paris in a crisis—professional, cool, calm—but still uniquely Nicki. She had a quick and reassuring smile for her patients as she tended to their injuries, an easy professionalism with her nurse and medics, and an air of determination despite the fatigue B'Elanna saw on her face. "Don't tell me you're injured, too," she said, barely glancing up as she loaded a hypospray. B'Elanna smiled thinly.

"No, just checking on Nu."

Nicki nodded as she administered the hypo. "This will help with the pain. I'll be back in a few minutes," she said, then gestured B'Elanna to the far wall, where she now saw Nu sitting in a chair, in what was clearly a freshly-replicated cadet's uniform, given the lack of a gaping hole in the front.

"Cadet Nu is as good as new. No pun intended," Nicki said, giving Nu a quick smile. "Just a slight crack to her chest plate and some bruising to her lung, all of which has been patched up."

"I'm ready to return to duty, sir," Nu said quickly. Torres shook her head.

"We've established a link to CRC and they're downloading data as we speak," she said. "You can get some rest." She looked up at Nicki. "Can she stay here a few hours?"

Nicki shook her head. "We don't have any beds and this is definitely not an environment conducive to rest. I'm discharging her to wherever it is that you engineers are bunked."

Torres realized she didn't know where that was, as she hadn't even left the relay station, but she still shook her head. "I'd feel better if she stayed here," she argued. "You're well-protected in here."

Nicki raised an eyebrow. "You know how I said I don't know how to pull rank?" she asked. "Well, I'm willing to learn. No one not under medical treatment is staying, including your engineers, and that's an order, Lieutenant." Torres narrowed her eyes, but Nicki crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows, the universal Paris move for, 'just try to argue with me now.' "Cadet, you're dismissed to get some rest," she said, her eyes not leaving Torres'. Nu, sensing that this was not the time for speaking, quickly got up and left the infirmary.

"Nu told me what happened," Nicki said after the cadet had left. "It was a careless mistake, but I think she's learned her lesson. You don't need to treat her like a child."

"I wouldn't have to if she hadn't made such a childish mistake," Torres replied. Nicki rolled her eyes.

"Right. I'm sure you've never made a mistake," she said sarcastically.

"Not one that caused a bomb to explode in front of my chest!"

Nicki's eyes narrowed again as she studied her sister-in-law. "This isn't like you," she said slowly. "You're always the first to correct people who refer to cadets and crewmen as children, and now you're treating Nu like you're a disappointed parent and sending her child to bed without dinner. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on, Nicki," Torres snapped. "Everyone said sending a cadet to a combat situation was a bad idea. Apparently, they're right. She's proven that she isn't ready for it."

"Who is?" Nicki asked sardonically. "We're all making this up as we go. Even Garcia, who's studied small unit tactics, said that every situation is different and no plans survive first contact with the enemy. Haven't you figured out yet that being an adult is just making it up as you go?"

"I made a mistake in bringing Nu here. I get that now," B'Elanna said. "I'm trying to fix that by keeping her as safe as possible."

"Bullshit," Nicki declared. "Nu's a great engineer. You didn't make a mistake in bringing her here, and you know it. Are you going to tell me what's going on or not?"

B'Elanna glared at her, then pursed her lips, then looked away. "I have a pretty lousy track record for keeping people safe," she finally said. Nicki frowned, confused.

"What are you talking about?"

B'Elanna shook her head. "It's not important," she said crisply. "I need to get back to work."

"You just told Nu that there's nothing to do," Nicki argued. "You should listen to your own advice and get some rest. Hell, let's make it official medical advice for you to get some rest. And food, because I'm willing to bet that you haven't eaten anything since we left the Veracruz."

"I'm fine, Nicki."

Her arms crossed again, and then she looked over toward the patients. "Esh," she called out. Her nurse turned to face her. "You have it here? I can use a break."

"Go get something to eat, Doc," he replied. "Everything's stable, and I've got you on comms if that changes."

She nodded once at him, then returned her attention to her sister-in-law. "I can medically relieve you from duty for not obeying medical orders," she said. B'Elanna rolled her eyes. She was pretty sure Nicki wouldn't, and pretty sure Commander Garcia would immediately reverse any attempts at it if she did, but also knew that sometimes it was just easier to do what Nicki said than continue to argue.

Nu was seated at one of the tables, drinking something out of a bottle and reading a PADD, when they walked in. Her eyes widened slightly and she immediately scurried off toward what Torres could only assume was where the engineering crew had set up camp. "She's going to be terrified of you if you don't apologize," Nicki said as she headed over to the replicator.

"Me?" B'Elanna asked incredulously. "I wasn't the one who detonated a bomb in front of my chest! What do I have to apologize for?"

"For making her feel worse than she already does," Nicki said. She tossed B'Elanna a sealed pack. "Bon appetite," she said.

"What's the point of having a replicator if it's only programmed with field rations?" B'Elanna grumbled, reading the package: Field Ration C, Human. "And what's the point of having a hybrid physician if you're just going to feed me the same food as everyone else?"

"I'm actually going to talk to our dietician about creating customized field rations," Nicki replied as she took the seat across from her sister-in-law. B'Elanna snorted.

"That sounds useful, for the, what, ten hybrid officers in the 'Fleet?"

"There are more than that," Nicki replied lightly. "Humans and Betazoids really like to get it on, apparently. And Vulcans have a strange fascination with sex with other species, although that results in fewer babies than some other combinations. But I'm talking about customized rations for everyone. Quick scan and the replicator spits out rations with the right number of calories, right ratio of macromolecules, and addressing any electrolyte and mineral deficiencies that may be present. We have the technology. It's a little stupid that we haven't done it year." She took a bite of her ration and swallowed. "Now. You want to talk about what has you acting weird, or should I get Bayrote on the comm?"

"I should have sided with Sydney and had you sent to another ship," B'Elanna muttered. "Any other ship."

"Too late for that now."

"Pagano was killed," B'Elanna said abruptly. "And Glass. Chief O'Brien told me this morning. Happened a couple of days ago."

All of the humor left Nicki's face. "Oh, B'Elanna, I'm so sorry—"

Torres gave a single shake of her head and waved her words off angrily; she didn't need anyone's sympathy, especially that of someone who didn't know them. "Glass knew what he was doing," she said, "But Pagano… I never should have given O'Brien permission to take her away from UP. She wasn't ready for it. She had been in one battle and almost fell apart, and I let him take her and assign her right in the focus of the war. If I had kept her on my crew, she'd still be safe."

"Those decisions are made at levels much higher than you," Nicki pointed out. On an intellectual level, B'Elanna knew she was right; O'Brien had asked for her permission to take Pagano, and Torres had agreed to recommend it, but it was Commander Winters who released the mechanic and Starfleet Personnel Office who made the transfer.

"I bring Nu on this mission, and she almost blows herself up," B'Elanna argued. "I recommend Pagano to stay with the Jem'Hadar ship, and she gets killed when the ship is destroyed. I tell Tom—" She cut herself off and gave an angry shake of her head.

"Now you're blaming yourself for Tom, too?" Nicki asked, incredulously.

"He didn't want to go!" B'Elanna exclaimed. Nicki glanced around, and B'Elanna took the hint, lowering her voice. "He didn't want to go," she repeated. "And I told him to stop worrying about me and to go, and his ship gets sent to the opposite side of the galaxy. I can't be trusted to make the right decisions when it comes to cadets, mechanics, my own husband… And now you're here, too, in the middle of a battle—"

"Don't drag me into this," Nicki interrupted. "I was the one who volunteered to come here. That had nothing to do with you."

"You wouldn't have volunteered if I wasn't here!" B'Elanna shot back. Nicki tilted her head in acknowledgement.

"Okay, true," she admitted. "Me and my issues aside, you expect the best, out of yourself and everyone around you, and people respect you and give you the best. And the best are always in demand and always going to be asked to do better and are always going to be asked to do the most dangerous missions, because dangerous missions are more likely to succeed if you have the best people on them. If you see bad things happening to the people you choose to surround yourself with, it's because you're surrounding yourself with the best people, the most talented people, the most dedicated people, the type of people who want to go to war despite being terrified of it or want to pilot a ship in the Badlands despite having a pregnant wife at home. The type of people who will drop everything on her summer break and go to a combat zone without even being phaser qualified just because you asked her to." Torres narrowed her eyes, but Nicki didn't give her the opportunity to say anything. "It isn't your engineering skills that makes Dad so sure that you're going to go far in Starfleet. There are thousands of good engineers in Starfleet, hundreds of great ones. Sure, you have expertise that they don't have, but that's because you were at the right place at the right time to build that expertise. No, what makes you different is that you're a great leader. Your people will go to insane lengths for you, and that's rare."

B'Elanna blinked at that passion in Nicki's voice and wondered if she was really that demanding of a leader. Yes—she knew the answer to that one. She was that demanding, but did the people under her really go out of their ways to meet her demands just because she was the one making them?

She thought about what Tom had said in his letters about serving under Captain Janeway. He had been angry at first—angry that he was forced into a career he hadn't wanted, angry that she had decided to strand them in the Delta quadrant instead of using the technology that brought them there to get them home—but she had heard the gradual change in his impressions of his captain over the years in his personal logs, and by the time they made contact with Voyager, he talked about the kind of leader she was and how she made him want to be a good officer, not just a good pilot. Whether they got them home in a year or a decade, no matter how many captains he would serve under for the rest of his career, she would always be his captain. "How do ship captains do it?" she asked. "How do they balance needing their people to perform at their best and needing to keep them safe? How do they keep moving forward it after watching members of their crew die?"

Nicki shrugged. "Let's just say Captain Owen Paris of the Al-Batani learned a lot about whiskey in those four years," she said. She shook her head. "Dad hated being a ship's captain, and the only reason he did it is because he knew he wouldn't make admiral without it. But he was very glad to get a position at Headquarters after the Al-Batani. How captains like Picard do it, commanding ships for more than thirty years, I'll never know. I'm glad that, even if I stay in Starfleet, that won't ever be a job I have to have." She fidgeted with the spoon from her rations before rising from her seat. "I need to get back to the infirmary. I've been gone too long already," she said abruptly.

"I should get back to the relay station," B'Elanna replied, nodding slightly. They both paused as they heard another volley of phaser fire, not far enough away.

"Why are they still fighting?" Nicki asked rhetorically. "They have to know by now that we've accessed the relay station."

"I'm pretty sure they want to take it back," B'Elanna replied, and then she realized that she was right.

They wanted to take it back, and they weren't going to stop until they had.

Or until there was nothing left to take back.

"I need to find Commander Garcia," she said abruptly. "We need to make a call to Syd's boss."