It had been three long days of nothing but worry and obsessing over what had happened. That's how long it took for T'Challa to get some sort of update about Tony's health after he had confirmed that the genius had almost been killed. And even then the update was just that the genius was still stable and that he had been moved to his home with a health care team on premises to keep him comfortable and on the mend on his medical proxies request. The update had included nothing on if Iron Man had woken up, or even if he would be permanently disabled because of the attack in Siberia. It had just been a small burst of words that just meant that the other man was still alive, or that his company wasn't prepared for the backlash of him having actually die. Hell, they could be covering up the fact that something had taken a turn for the worse, and that the genius was no longer with them and no one would be the wiser for a while yet
It was driving Clint insane to be honest, the whole situation of not knowing if Tony was going to be himself once this was over and his general state was inducing a kind madness, especially knowing that there was nothing he could do to find out more. He was person non grata to all of his contacts and he only had himself to blame for that. He wasn't the only one having issues over knowing nothing of their team mate's recovery either- the cracks of discontent were forming all over the place.
Over those three days the realization of what they had all done had hit the 'rogue' avengers hard as they thought about their injured friend. They had turned something that while had been an inconvenience, had been a situation that could have been handled into a war all at the say so of one man. It seemed that since Bucky had informed them all that Tony had been injured and T'Challa confirmed that the genius had life threatening injuries, they had all taken the chance to read the Accords while they waited for an update on Tony's condition. Sadly it had been a real eye opener to tell the truth, because only a few of them had looked at the documents that were supposed to be the reason for all of this, let alone read them in full.
They couldn't even really say that all of this had been worth it, not after reading the damn things. Tony was used to politics, he knew how they worked, and reading both the original proposal and the current Amended one Clint could see the other man's hard work all over it. Tony had been trying to shape this thing into something that they could live with and storming off like children who were not getting their way had probably not helped him in any way. Knowing the other man and how he operated, Tony had probably called in all sorts of favors to try and smooth things over with the people they had offended with their actions. Now those favors were being wasted because he had been almost killed by Steve and couldn't keep on top of this thing while he was unconscious. It seemed that even when they were doing nothing they couldn't stop ruining things.
Steve hadn't talked much since everything had come out. Instead he stared at the television, watching stations reporting that Iron Man had received near fatal injuries in an undisclosed way and the speculations of how it had happened and if the hero would recover obsessively. His shoulders stayed tense and his face was face blank as he waited, although it looked like he wanted to take action more then anything else. But there was nothing to do but wait. Clint found himself almost worried about the other man's mind several times before anger washed it away. Because right when he was ready to try to talk with the other man, he would remember that it had been Steve that had caused what those stations were reporting in. The other man had been going to let them think that Tony had tricked them, that he had attacked unprovoked and he probably would have insinuated that Tony was using the media to get sympathy had they seen this without Bucky admitting that they had left the man seriously injured in Siberia. Or at least agreed when Wanda did the insinuating. And without Bucky telling the truth they would have believed him, like they had with his tale about the Accords. Captain America was a coward in his mind, plain and simple.
Bucky was another story altogether. The former assassin hadn't been by the area they inhabited much while they waited for news on Tony- he was already immersed in what Therapy the Wakandan people had to offer him. He was the only one of the Rogues who had a chance in hell of getting out of here without being tossed in jail and that meant he was working hard so he could get to Stark and start to make amends and support him like he had said he wanted to. According to T'Challa the therapy device that Tony had made was being shipped- there had been a standing order that if the device was requested by a trusted party for Barnes then it was to be sent with no questions or tracking apparently. The genius hadn't expected Steve to ask him for help for his friend but he had been prepared to give it without question and he hadn't even been going to try to find them with it. This wasn't the action a guy looking to bring them in at all costs would take. It was one of a friend willing to help, and that willingness had put Tony where he was now.
Clint was jealous of the chance Barnes had if he was honest with himself, because he needed to make amends for the things he had done and said as well. He didn't want to wait the months or longer that it would take to be in the position to do so either. Tony wasn't the only one he had hurt in all of this. Laura deserved a lot of things from him, the least of all being an apology because he knew he had hurt her and their children too while he had been a blind idiot in all of this. He had been trying to convince himself that he was out of a game that was never going to really let him go, and he had been regretting his decision to get out. He had missed the friends that he had made, and making a difference, and the farm was doing nothing to keep him from thinking about what he had lost.
Steve calling him in to help him out when all of this had went south had given him a clear bad guy to focus on, had been the only think he needed to come back into the fold. He knew that had to have killed the woman who had devoted a good chunk of her life to Clint. Both when she was a surrogate for Phil and him and later- when he was consumed with grief over his husband getting himself killed and wanted to cling onto what he had left. He had asked her to marry him in his desperation to keep the good things in his life together, and then tried to pretend like there wasn't something missing in their relationship when she had accepted his proposal. They both knew there was though they never mentioned him by name. Phil was never forgotten, and he never would be.
"They won't say anything different then they did the last 20 times you watched this Rogers. Pepper probably has any information relating to his current condition on lockdown to keep the stocks stable while things are up in the air. She's not even informing T'Challa of any major details, and he worked with Tony recently." Natasha bit out bitterly, interrupting Clint's mental rambling. Her tone was both annoyed and defeated, showing just how out of sorts she was. Clint resisted the urge to feel sorry for her, because unlike all of them, she had the sense to stay with Tony only to go dumb at the last minute. She had let Steve go at the airport, and because she had done that he had been able to almost kill Tony. Steve grunted at her words, shaking his head in denial.
"There has to be something new reported about him soon. They can't keep everyone in the dark on his status forever after all, he's a public figure and this speculation can't be good for his company either. He's got to be okay, he's got to be able to live normally." Steve muttered resolutely, and Clint rolled his eyes at how pathetic the other man sounded as he repeated his mantra. He had almost killed a man, and now he worried about how he was doing. In what world would that ever make sense considering everything that the other man had done to Tony through all of this? A part of him was glad that Phil wasn't here to see what kind of man his idol really was, or to have to kill the other man for hurting Tony. And Phil would have, or at least he would have made Steve regret ever raising a hand to the genius in the very least. There was no way in hell that the Agent would have stood by and just let all of this happen. Not like the archer had.
Clint wished to god that his husband was here suddenly, as that thought came to him. Because they needed someone to call them out to keep them from doing something stupid, as proven by this mess and Phil was especially good at calling bullshit. Everything was wrong without him and it just kept getting worse as time passed. Clint had never regretted telling him no and then complaining to Nat more then he did now in all reality. He had started having regrets from the moment the fight about attractions that had happened when he said no had blown over, but now? Now he wished that he would have swallowed his pride when his husband had described the genius who had managed to catch Phil's eye.
The Archer knew himself well enough to know that he had been convinced that Phil's interest in another man meant that their relationship was in trouble, and Nat had agreed which had fueled the fire so to speak. But god help him, when he had thrown that out it had started one of the worse fights in his marriage. Phil had countered his accusation with a bitter nod in the direction of his attachment to Laura, accusing him of being attracted to her even though there was never a chance that he himself would be willing to include the woman in their bed and that had hit a nerve. While Clint had been insulted then, denying the attraction that he did feel- he had all but proved the other man right by marrying her after Phil died. Of course his husband had known him well enough to see the signs that Clint himself ignored. Phil had gone off on a mission for Fury shortly after and then everything had gone to hell.
"Will you just shut the hell up?" Clint snapped at the other man suddenly, losing his temper as he relieved his memories. He didn't think that he could handle another moment off the man's pity party when he was slowly being dragged into his own as he came to terms with everything. Steve looked at him blankly, completely devoid of anything that had marked the man as a leader once. Clint shivered, wondering briefly if the other man was ever going to come back from the mistakes he had made in this debacle. If he could come back from almost killing his team mate.
"I need to know that he's going to make it, that he's going to be okay Clint. Everything… Everything is just so wrong and it has been for longer then I can admit. I'm starting to think that somewhere along the lines, I stopped thinking of Tony as a good person- as a fellow hero. And somehow I started seeing him as a tool I could use for resources, and I didn't feel guilty. Bucky was right. He's always right, and I don't think it would hurt so much if I hadn't thought of Tony as a friend once. But I did and that makes what I have done so much worse." Steve replied, his voice cracking and hoarse as he explained himself. Clint felt his stomach turn, because he had done the same thing.
He could understand Steve's need to know something, anything positive about Tony's health now, because he needed to know for many of the same reasons. Everything with what his husband would have wanted him to do aside, he had called Tony his friend. He had joked around with him and grown to like him even with his determination to hate him because Phil had asked what he had. And none of that had mattered when he was insulting him. He didn't know how to respond to the other man words now though, not when he identified with them. They had knocked the anger right out of him. It turns out that he didn't have to though, because they were no longer the only ones in this section of the manor. Apparently company had come calling.
"Well this is all fine and dandy, but do you idiots really think you're getting within ten miles of Stark after this FUBAR mess? I don't think so. That alternate of Captain America has this situation in hand- he's called in his people to help clean up your mess and get the ball rolling to protect the world. Times are changing you ungrateful idiots. You're no longer the golden heroes of the world with the crap you've seen fit to pull." A familiar voice bit out, harsh and way to loud for the landmine of emotionally compromised people around. Clint cringed as he turned to the door and looked at his former boss. Fury was glaring at Steve though, and if looks could kill the former American Hero would be dead where he was sitting.
"Fury, how are you doing? Glad to see that you're already over your latest round of being dead." Clint greeted, even though he would rather leave the room and not deal with the man who died whenever shit got to deep, so that he could rise up again at some other time and play hero. His reluctance was partially due to the fact that Fury represented a better time in his life though if he was honest with himself. A time where his husband was alive and where he had even considered the other man a friend because of how much trust he placed in Phil. His once boss gave him an unimpressed look, before turning his gaze back to Steve and Nat.
"I really thought that you dumb asses would see that you had it good with Stark- he bankrolled you and never asked for a damn dime back even though it cost him millions. Hell he treated you all better then anyone has ever treated him, but this situation has opened my eyes to how utterly broken the Avenger's were and how damn unlikely it will be to put them back together. A man doesn't just forget being betrayed, no matter if he considered the ones betraying him family or not. And those alternates aren't likely to let him if and when he recovers from having Captain America's shield shoved into his compromised chest. But losing an asset like Stark and burning to many damn bridges to count around the world isn't why I'm here and not doing damage control." The man thundered, before his voice quieted and the lecture ended with a wince. Clint raised an eyebrow at the tell that Fury didn't want to continue, wondering what other bomb he had to drop and if they would make it through it. Fury's secrets always hurt someone in the end, even if the man liked seeing himself as a protector.
"As much as I appreciate you going over the mistakes they have made, you're not innocent in any of this considering you hid my resurrection and memory alteration from them and even altered I would have never allowed them to go so far off script. They would have had a damned wake up call the moment things started going south and if they didn't like what they had to hear I would have shown them the damn door." A dry, and very familiar but impossible voice snapped irately, stepping into the room. Clint looked at his husband, his mouth dry and throat burning with bile as the other man looked at Fury like he was resisting the urge to taser him. Fury winced.
"Coulson, I thought I told you to wait while I explained this to them so you didn't end up punched or starting a damn fight over what they have done." The former Shield director growled, sounding annoyed with the other man. Phil snorted, glaring at his friend, before his eyes swept over the room, dismissing all of them before resting on Clint for a moment then back at Fury.
"I'm sorry if I decided I couldn't trust you to follow through with explaining that you have been up to your old tricks again Nick. But then again I have spent several years with holes in my memory and repeating that damn phrase because of your need to have contingency plans and inability to leave highly dangerous and experimental ways to brings someone back from the dead alone. I told you that damn program wasn't to be used, but the moment I go and die my opinion ceases to matter right?" Phil said stiffly, berating the other man and not for the first time if the tone of his voice was to be trusted. Clint felt dizzy as he realized what had happened. Phil was standing there alive, and Fury was responsible for that. The man in questioned looked uncomfortable at Phil's words.
"You are the one person I know I can trust without a doubt. Losing you to your own stupidity wasn't an option and the experiment proved that the instability was only present when the subject retained their memories. By altering yours during the process, we were able to avoid that. I understand your anger at the fact that your marriage was part of the memories removed, but I couldn't have any reminders popping up and sending you off the deep end. Barton adjusted." Fury deadpanned, as if he had repeated the same defense a hundred times before. Clint felt his nails digging into his palm as his husband snorted in response to Fury's lackluster defense.
"Oh he adjusted alright, not in a good way though, Once the Doctor who helped stabilize Stark was through with him he was kind enough to direct me to help so I could recover my memories and prevent those oh so undesirable instabilities. I looked what's been happening with my team up and I'm not pleased with this lot." He shot Clint a hard look and the other man flinched at the disapproval that was clear in his husband's eyes. "But the meeting I initiated isn't about my former husband moving on. It's about making things clear to the Avengers who have found themselves fugitives and to take the witch into custody. No doubt they expect things to go back to normal once they are cleared to go back to the U.S. With the situation we have coming at us, they will be coming back as much as I would love to leave them here while real heroes do their jobs, but it won't be like it was before. The Alternate Rogers and his team are not the only people who have a stake in keeping Tony on the mend after all." Phil continued, his voice icy. Clint took note that Fury looked uncomfortable at the mention of the alternates.
"I don't understand why the hell no one hasn't told that group to go back to where they came from. They have no allegiance-" The former shield director muttered in complaint and was cut off by a look from Phil before he could finish what he was going to say. The mild mannered man didn't seem to want to hear it, and from the lack of surprise at being cut off Fury knew so.
"You mean you don't have control of them. They have plenty of allegiance, but it's all directed towards Tony. You know the man Rogers saved from Captain America over there- the man that they lost in what's coming. They are here for him, and I can't say I blame them for taking one look at this world and deciding that he need protecting. He's still unconscious after extreme measures had to be taken to save his life after one of his so called team mates almost killed him after all." the former second in command snapped making everyone flinch. He was obviously worried for Tony and he was pissed off by what had happened to the other man. That much was perfectly clear to everyone in the room.
"I don't think you understand the dangers of a group of super heroes focusing on one person as their reason to fight, but I know you won't listen to me. Even though the most glaring example of what could go wrong is sitting in the room with us." Fury shot back sarcastically, waving a hand at Steve. Phil raised an eyebrow at him.
"The difference in between Tony and Barnes is the fact that the people protecting Tony aren't going to be breaking laws and causing international incidents if they can help it. Each one of them have signed the accords because they trust Tony's abilities. He had a clear plan set out for amending that document and Rhodes is spearheading his changes while he's unable to because of his injury so they don't loose steam and favor in their work. Those people won't pile blame on Tony for things out of his control from what I've seen. And unlike these idiots, I've spoken with JARVIS- who was retrieved by Rogers from where he was waiting backed up and forgotten because of the witch these people so readily welcomed onto their team- and he let me know the details surrounding the whole Ultron debacle so I know what happened there as well." Phil replied dully, before looking back over at the Avengers in exile, and raising an eyebrow like he expected them to have something to say. Clint couldn't find the words, because the world felt like it was too damn small. His husband was alive, and by god everything he had thought since the events of Siberia had been revealed was coming true.
Phil wasn't holding back about any of the mistakes they had made, and he was bringing up points the archer had never considered. He had been guilty over Pietro dying for him so he had overcompensated by bringing Wanda into the fold of the group, wanting to give her a family since she had lost hers. The only one to protest had been Tony. But they hadn't paid that protest any mind. They had ignored it, and pushed the genius away when Wanda had complained that he made her uncomfortable and it had felt justified because Tony was to blame for her not having anyone else. His bombs killed her parents and his monster had killed her brother. He felt sick thinking about it now, because in giving Wanda a family he had initiated the end of Tony's. Nothing was the same after Slovakia, they had kept finding more and more things to not like about the genius, to blame him for.
"She was my fault. I'm the one who brought her in. I was guilty, and I thought we could help her see she was on the wrong side, that she could be a hero." He finally whispered, in a brittle voice, not addressing the fact that Jarvis was alive, that he had been alive and Wanda had something to do with why he wasn't brought back sooner because he had no words for that. He knew Tony had suffered so much in losing his AI, and it was just one more pain inflicted on him. Phil frowned at him, and while there was worry in his husband's eyes there was disappointment also. And that hurt, in their entire relationship that had always been the kind of look he had never wanted directed at him. Phil sighed, shaking his head negatively after a moment, his eyes softening just a little bit.
"Not everyone is a Natasha Mr. Barton, and you should know that by now. This woman volunteered for Hydra's experiments. She actively and willingly tested her powers on innocent people to develop them, drove them insane in the process. It's all in the files we've been able to gather on her. She didn't protest a single time while she did it, there was no remorse for the suffering she had caused- nothing to show she had or could change. And bringing her in? That just brought her closer to her target, gave her the kind of access to him that she should have never had. Jarvis was able to examine Friday's security feeds, she was actively using her powers to torment Tony in his own compound- until he 'retired' and moved out. And the Doctor that helped me removed some ongoing spells from his person. What that man found on him? Would have kept breaking him down, tormenting him with nightmares. That woman was never any kind of hero. She also wasn't being held prisoner at the compound. Tony was trying to shield her from the repercussions of her actions, even though she never stopped hurting him he was trying to help her because she was important to you all." Phil informed him bitterly. The world tightened around Clint a little bit more, but Phil wasn't done.
"If you remember his time in Afghanistan, then you would remember the fact that Stane was the one dealing Stark weapons to terrorists. Not Tony- when Tony found out he destroyed every stash he could find, but it boils down to while he designed those weapons he wasn't the one to kill Maximoff's parents. Her blaming him is like blaming a gun producer for a weapon it made killing someone and you all supported her delusion. Friday doesn't have a single record of any of you telling her to grow up and think rationally. But she does have plenty of you turning a team into a mockery." He finished derisively, before looking at Fury.
"She get's locked in the deepest pit you can find. The restraints Strange and his friend made should cut her off from her powers, but if they malfunction I want her dealt with in the appropriate manner." He ordered firmly. The one Eyed man nodded, before leaving the room. After he was gone Phil slumped a little, looking tired. Clint saw Nat start making her way to her once dead handler before he looked up at her and shook his head. She stopped, looking hurt at his gesture. Clint didn't blame her for feeling rejected- in all of his daydreams about finding out Phil was really alive somehow he had never imagined his husband being so upset with their actions and decisions.
"I'm not sure why you decided to let the Captain over there and Barnes go when it seemed like you were one of the only ones left with any shred of common sense left in this bunch, but that was the wrong call. Just like releasing Shield's databases online for every terrorist organization to find and sell out or kill good agents was. Damn it Natasha, you got thousands of good people killed because you didn't call in Tony and have him sort out the data so he could protect the ones who were not Hydra and he could only pull people out so fast once he was alerted to the dump. He never stopped monitoring things, and when Clint decided he was going to play hero after retiring he had to pull Laura and the children in because Ross found out where they were living and decided he was going to use them to make Clint come in." He turned his ire onto her, and the wrong calls that she had made in all of this. She flinched, paling and Clint's stomach turned. Steve and Nat's decision had never sat well with him, but he had been assured by Fury that all information about Laura and the kids was not even in the databases so he had accepted it as a necessary evil.
Turns out the former director hadn't been honest with him. He had to have lied if Ross could find out where they were, but that shouldn't be surprising. What he did know was that given his acceptance at the time, the stab of fury and blame he felt towards his friend was uncalled for but he couldn't help it. Beyond Laura and the child he had with her the other children were his and Phil's. He could have lost the only pieces he had left of his husband at the time because she hadn't thought to use common sense and call in the guy who made his living off of tech to help weed out the Hydra from Shield. Suddenly he understood why people had treated Nat differently after everything was said and done, why Tony had looked at her like she was a stranger even as she took his side in this mess- never fully trusting her to not stab him in the back. He didn't blame the genius.
"I… We didn't know who we could trust when it came to that data, and the only way we could think of making sure they couldn't slip back into the cracks was to shine light on it all. I knew I wasn't Hydra, and I knew Steve wasn't. Things with Tony… We didn't trust that he would be able to do the job. We didn't trust him. And then he hid developing the AI that became Ultron, and it just reinforced that opinion. People died because of him and his ego, his need to play god. And I let them go because Steve told me that there were other soldiers, I knew he wasn't going to stop. I thought I could keep more people from getting hurt by giving them an out. Rhodes got his back broke during all of this, no one else needed to be harmed." She replied, her voice firm but the fact she looked like she was going to get sick let everyone know that she had regrets. Phil rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Okay, first thing first Ultron? The AI Tony was working on was no where near being ready to go online- that's why when everything happened it cannibalized Jarvis' main programming. He's not required to keep you all informed of every project he works on either. The being known as Ultron happened because of a series of events. Parts of the AI did interact with the scepter and stone inside of it, but that wasn't Tony's fault. He was only working on the damned thing because Maximoff had played around inside of his head and he felt the need to find a way to protect you all. I won't say what she made him see, but he was trying to keep you alive because he has an insight to what's coming and she tapped into that. As for people getting hurt, I've seen the recordings. Tony and the people helping him were not using deadly force on any of you, they were attempting to contain, not maim. But the same can't be said for those on the Captain's side of things. I saw cars being tossed around like toys damn it! Letting them go just because they were not going to stop isn't what the Avenger's ever stood for. The Captain's people were out of control and those that were captured and locked up damn well deserved to be detained. Honestly I don't know why the hell Tony had an order for his AI to disable camera's when a rescue attempt was made after the fact, but Friday couldn't go against his orders and Jarvis wasn't back online at that point. So instead of being in those cells still you're all here living in luxury and Tony's in a hospital bed because all he wanted to do was help." He shot back at her, dismissing her excuses as quickly as she made them. Clint wanted a drink as an outsiders view of their actions were painted and he found himself unable to see what they had done as anything close to being justified. They had committed crimes, hurt people they had called friends and it all spelled out that they were no better then the people they defended the population against.
"We really messed up here Phil I'm not even going to try and deny that because there is no way to. I've read the Accords now, and I regret siding with the Captain. After Tony's done with them they'll be no worse then what we were under with Shield I bet. Is he going to be okay? I mean not just surviving, if he going to be able to really recover from this? From what T'Challa was given S- Rogers did a damn good job of killing him." He murmured, his voice thick with regret. Phil's eyes softened more as he looked at him.
"I think he will be, he doesn't really have a choice in it though. The measures that had to be taken to make that possible have left some lasting effects on him, and the major measure went against everything he wanted. That and the damned reactor are going to be permanent reminders of this, as if he needed anything to remember." He replied. Steve perked up.
"You know how he's doing? I mean something more then what we've heard?" he asked, sounding eager to hear more. Phil's eyes hardened at his voice and Clint grimaced, knowing his husband. He got ready to stop Phil if he made a move to go after Rogers, while he understood why Phil was upset he also knew the other man would eventually regret attacking his hero. Even if the attack was justified. Steve flinched as the agent looked at him grimly.
"Yes I've seen him, but I'm sure as hell not going to update his attacker on his recovery. You don't get it Captain Rogers, but you soon will. He may be alive by the grace of god and a hell of a lot of medical intervention right now, but you killed him. You drove your shield into his severely weakened chest over and over again and you managed to do enough damage through his suit that they had a hard time keeping his heart started- part of what got it going that last time was god honest magic. That alone makes your current worry pretty damn insulting." Phil said dully, his voice giving none of the rage he felt away but Clint could feel it. He shuddered a little as the hope died in Steve's eyes.
"I didn't mean… I only wanted him to stay down so he couldn't hurt Bucky. It was Hydra who killed his parents… not Buck- he couldn't resist their orders, but… he was so angry and he kept getting up, and I was angry too. I can't understand why he couldn't just accept that I wasn't going to let him hurt Bucky, and that it wasn't his fault." Steve whispered despairingly. He still couldn't accept that he had been in the wrong during that fight, even after Bucky had told him that he had been. Clint felt a familiar cold rage building, but instead of being focused on Tony it was directed at the man that the Archer had thrown away his life to help. Steve was delusional if he couldn't see that he had been in the wrong here after everything that they had been told and the things that had been pointed out.
"Whether you meant to or not doesn't matter in the end Rogers. You're an enhanced human, he's not- with the force you were using against him how could you not expect to cause extreme bodily harm? He could have killed both of you if he had been trying to, but he wasn't. He was the only one playing by those rules though apparently. This entire conflict your 'team' had been fighting with the intent to harm, so it wasn't a one time incident either. Somewhere along the lines Tony surviving any altercation with you and your team stopped mattering. And if you think you're getting anywhere near him again you're more idiotic then I already think you are." Phil snapped back, and they deserved that. Phil was right, Tony living hadn't mattered because he was the one trying to bring them in. Because they had convinced themselves that the other man meant to harm them, and that he wasn't a good person in general. He didn't look to see what Steve's reaction to the lecture was. Instead his feet finally decided to move in his husband's direction. Phil look at him and raised an eyebrow.
"Do you need something Mr. Barton?" He asked, his tone back to being cold and impersonal. Clint grimaced at the distance Phil was putting between them emotionally at least. He was reminded of the former that Phil had added to their marriage status suddenly, and felt like the bottom of his stomach had dropped out. The realization that his husband considered their marriage over hit like a ton of bricks. This was more then Phil being upset and disappointed about their treatment of a team mate and Tony's assault, this was the potential end of the best thing in Clint's life.
"I'd like to speak with you before you run off Phil. Please, I've thought you were dead for years and I know I can't follow you until I deal with the shit storm I made for myself." He asked softly, not wanting to chance coming off like he was demanding or even deserved what he wanted. There was a subtle shift in the other man's posture, and sadness in his eyes.
"I was dead, for eight days, until Nick had his scientists drag me back kicking and screaming. And while I was begging for them to just let me die again you were already moving on Clint. I saw the application dates for the marriage license. I never expected to be right when I brought her up after I asked you about bringing Tony in and I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt that you moved on with her. It does hurt, she was a friend who helped us in ways we can never repay but that's the only way I will ever see her. I went to see our children before dragging Fury here, to make sure that they were alright after everything that has happened and saw her as well you know. And it was awkward, she couldn't decide if my survival was a good thing or a bad thing even though the kids were excited to see me and I can't blame her for that reaction." Phil informed him, sounding defeated. Clint flinched, as his own thoughts about marrying Laura and how it would have affected Phil were confronted and confirmed. This wasn't something he had considered back then, when he was just desperate to gather his remaining family close and hold on. That was no excuse though.
"I should have said yes, back when you asked about Tony. I've regretted saying no more then you will ever know. And marrying Laura? When Nat told me you had been killed, something in me broke and it hasn't been fixed since. I asked Laura to marry me in an attempt to hold onto the good things I still had, and I think we both know that wasn't a good reason to get married, and that having another child to try and strengthen the marriage wasn't a good idea either. But It happened and it's just part of this huge mess that I have to take care of now. I… Just don't give up on me yeah?" He pleaded, not wanting his marriage to be over. He didn't know what he would do if this was Phil writing him off, if he had gotten a chance to have his husband back in his life and lost it all in the same moment. "I thought you were dead and it killed me, I've done some stupid shit because I wasn't coping with losing you or the Loki mind fuck, and hell Phil. The longer Wanda is out of commission and bound… I'm starting to think that she was helping the hostility all of us have shown Tony. From the moment T'Challa informed her that she wasn't going to have free reign of her powers here and she attacked him things have been changing. I'm not angry all the time anymore, and I'm actually considering the ramifications of what's happened instead of being convinced this will all blow over. For the first time in years I don't like myself. And these guys? They're actually worried about Tony again. That's got to mean something." The look of sadness his husband had about him increased.
"The Doctor who helped straighten out my head is going to be coming by and seeing if he can confirm that she was altering anything. T'Challa mentioned the shift in behavior when we spoke with him, so we were already aware that it was a possibility." He replied slowly, as if he wasn't sure of what to say. Clint felt a wave of relief at that. Other people had noticed the change, so he wasn't just imagining it.
"It's not an excuse for what we did, but I need to know if it was just our true selves shining though or if we had help hurting Tony." Clint assured him. A small smile crossed Phil's face.
"I'm pretty sure that the man I married would have had to have help to behave the way you have." He assured him after a moment. Clint grimaced a little at the agreement, feeling like he'd been set up to fail in all of this. First Loki took away his will, and now Wanda may have done something along the same lines. But unlike Loki- who's control felt wrong he hadn't noticed anything was off under the woman's thrall.
"I need to keep away from assholes who don't mind making me their meat puppet Phil." He declared, startling a laugh out of his husband. After a moment Phil hugged him tightly, burying his head in Clint's hair and inhaling shakily. Clint wrapped his own arms around the other man and just held him. Oh god, he had never thought that he would get to do this again, and he didn't want to let go. For the first time since Nat told him Phil was gone everything felt right in his world.
"You really do Clint. And people need to keep their damn hands off you. You keep getting taken away from me, and I don't even know if I get you back this time." his husband whispered, his voice muffled by the hair but clear enough for Clint to hear the pain in it. While Phil was good at hiding being compromised by situations, he always had a tell with Clint, and the fact that his husband was hurting killed Clint even more then the weight of everything the Archer had done since Phil had died, His grip tightened around Phil at that.
"You'll get me back. I promise. I'm going to have to take care of all my messes, but you're getting me back if you want me." He vowed, and he meant it. He wasn't ready to let go of Phil in any way, and if he had a chance he would be upfront with Laura on his mistake of marrying her and end it. They could still co-parent Nate, but Phil was his husband first and foremost and that was never going to change. Phil pressed a kiss to his hair, breathing in shakily as he did, though Clint doubted anyone besides him noticed the unstable movement. Suddenly he wanted to get Phil out of the lounge, so the other man wasn't watching his every movement, and could react normally. This was entirely too public.
"I do want you still. You may be an asshole Clint, but you're my asshole- that hasn't changed unless you decide it will." Phil muttered under his breath. Clint laughed a little this time, warmth filling him and chasing away the cold doubt that Phi's earlier comments had created. If his husband still wanted him, well he could deal with anything he needed to in order to get back home. He turned his head just a little bit and pressed a barely there kiss to the skin just above Phil's shirt collar.
"If you have the time, maybe we can talk about what I need to do to start fixing what I've messed up before you go." Clint suggested softly. Phil hummed, before nodding.
"I have time, It's not like Fury is going to leave without me- the man made me director of Shield after Hydra was revealed after all. And he doesn't seem to want the title back." His husband responded firmly, a soft smile playing on his lips. Clint heard Nat gasp- even if Phil hadn't said it loudly everyone in the room had heard. He snickered as he realized the enormity of what had been said. Shield was still around after all. Clearly it was harder to destroy then everyone on the team had assumed.
"Oh boy. Well I guess you do have the time Director sir." Clint sassed playfully, not wanting to be the first one to pull away from the hug, but knowing they would be going no where until it happened. It was hard, but after a moment he was leading his husband to his room.
A Look Into the A.U. Verse
JARVIS arrived at the tower exactly 13 hours after the AI he had substituted himself with in an attempt to go 'off the grid' so to speak and deal with the latest loss in the family Sir had acquired before his sacrifice had alerted him of a disturbance. It took him 2.3 minutes to find out none of the inhabitants that he had left behind were still within the premises and 2.5 seconds for him to review the surveillance around the time of their departure. In the next 3 minutes he let himself react to what he head saw. Steve was alive and he had saved sir or at least a version of him from his double in a world that was pre-invasion. He needed help with the state of the world and keeping sir safe.
Further time was needed to go over Reed Richard's experiments information, he had noticed the reaction the others had in relation to the news that man that Steve had saved. Everything pointed to the malfunctioning experiment transporting Steve to a previous destination, to Sir since the man was the last one to have been victim to the gauntlet. The other world's Dr. Strange had been the one to come, so if he wanted to get to them, and to Sir who had almost been killed then he would need this world's Strange. Less then Ten minutes after his arrival he was calling the magic user so he could join the others. Sir's… Tony's health had and would always be his priority.
Back to Tony
Tony rolled his eyes as he got to his lab and found Clint lounging in front of it. The other man snickered at his look, before stepping forward and wrapping an arm around his waist. When he leaned in for a kiss, Tony met him half way- the joy of having his formally only dream family here still strong in his chest. Waking up changed like he had would have been hell without them, and he didn't know how he would have dealt with it if he was completely honest. The man he saw in the mirror was a child compared to what he had been after all. But they were here, and he knew that he could trust them. He was protected, safe even. Clint ended the kiss by nipping his bottom lip, then looked at him closely, as if he was trying to figure out what was going on inside his mind.
"I thought we agreed on a week of restricted lab time, to give you an chance to rest and adjust before you throw yourself back into things. You've had your time today babe, and there's only two more days on our agreement. Please don't overexert yourself. Less then seven days ago you were almost murdered, you have to deal with that even if the physical marks from the attack are gone. Repressing the feelings left over will do nothing good for you and we don't want to see you get hurt when it finally hits." He scolded softly. Tony sighed, leaning against the other man.
"I had an idea on how to jump start the dream or memories, whatever they are, again. But since I just shipped the BARF glasses out to Frosty the snowman I kinda need to build new ones before I can test it out." He explained, only slightly annoyed at being caught and stopped. The dreams were still stubbornly absent, and with the facts he had he was eager to see them again. To see if they had really been memories that had manifested as dreams because his trauma addled brain hadn't been able to connect the shift in reality to an earlier alternate time or something else. Making it so he didn't have blanks in his history would be a plus to, because he hadn't dreamed of anything involving Bucky and with how the other man treated him he wanted to remember. He wanted to remember everything. Clint kissed the top of his head soothingly- letting him know his reasoning was sound without a word.
"JARVIS? Can you fabricate another set of those glasses for Tony while we head up and watch a movie with Phil, Nat and Bruce? Steve and Bucky aren't due back with Rhodes until later this evening." the Archer asked, looking up and straight at one of the cameras.
"It would be my pleasure to Mr. Barton, Fabrication initiating." Jarvis replied. Clint looked down to see Tony paling just a little bit. He frowned and tipped the other man's head up. "Everything alright there Babe?" He asked gently, not understanding the reaction. Tony shook his head a little.
"I didn't even think of asking J. He's been gone so long… I'm used to handling most things on my own. Friday… she hasn't advanced, I haven't let her advance enough because I'm terrified of another Ultron, to help me like that. Only the big stuff." He replied, looking bitter and ashamed as he spoke. Clint took a steadying breath, cursing the damn gauntlet and this world's witch. He didn't know if he would ever be able to work with their world's Wanda again after seeing just what she would do to Tony given the chance. He sure as hell wouldn't try to get Tony to work with her when they got home.
"It's going to get better Babe, I promise. I know it's not okay right now, but Jarvis is back with you and I'm sure Friday doesn't blame you for being cautious. You've been through hell here, so much more then I would have ever wanted to see or even hear about. But you've come out on top and we're with you now." He soothed, before using the arm wrapped around the genius to guide him back upstairs where Phil and Bruce were waiting. Right now Tony was an emotional landmine, but he couldn't be blamed for it. Not with what this world had done to him. He almost wanted to demand that they take Tony home right then and there, but he knew the genius would stand his ground about seeing the upcoming battle through. Pushing him to leave before then would just push him away.