May 9th 2014
Peter stood outside The Retrieve Project Rehab Centre, smoking a cigarette and taking a look around his surroundings.
Rehab.
He hated rehab.
He hated the fact that Carla stayed in a hotel nearby the first few nights and he couldn't be with her. He hated what he had done to her, and yet he couldn't help continuing to press that self-destruct button.
But now the day arrived where he could go home, and try to piece his life back together. Try to show his wife that he was 100% dedicated to her and the baby she was carrying inside her. He couldn't lie that he was apprehensive coming out of rehab in the first place, feeling that, despite his best intentions, it would prove to be too early. But he was also dreading facing the reality of why he had started drinking again in the first place...
"Flippin' heck Peter," Steve muttered as he came to sit down next to his very drunk friend on the bed of the hotel, "well what on earth possessed - well, I know what possessed you - but on your own doorstep?"
"It gets worse..." Peter hiccupped after swallowing some water
"I don't wanna know, in fact no, definitely don't tell me!" Steve pleaded
"Carla's pregnant," Peter said, ignoring Steve's pleas for ignorance
"Carla's pregnant?" Steve repeated in shock. He certainly wasn't expecting that news.
"Yeah, and Tina, thinks she might be...pregnant" Peter continued
"Tina's pregnant!" Steve repeated loudly
"Might be," Peter corrected
"Oh, Peter" Steve's heads dropped into his hands, "this isn't good!"
"No." Peter sighed as the drunken haze slowly drifted off and reality set in again, "I've been stupid..."
"You're a flippin' dead man walking, Peter!"
Peter couldn't shake Steve's words, and instead sat awake, hours later, trying to come to terms with the gravity of the situation. Flipping on the lights in the hotel room, he prodded Steve awake,
"Oh, Peter, go to sleep!" Steve begged in frustration
"She's too young, I should have known," He rationalized
"Right..." Steve muttered
"I was flattered," he stated honestly, "you know? It's pathetic"
Steve tried to get comfortable as Peter sniffled next to him
"And now I'm going to lose Carla,"
"Oh for-" Steve gritted out tiredly
"No there is one thing you have to understand: she is the love of my life, and she is carrying my baby!"
Steve rolled on his back, his hands covering his face in sheer anguish.
"The thought of-" Peter continued to sob
"Listen, Peter!" Steve cut him off angrily, perching himself up on his elbow, "the first thing you have to do is find out whether Tina is pregnant. Get her to do the test! Then you know where you stand, right?"
"I stand on the verge of losing my wife!" Peter cried softly, "and I don't know how to stop that from happening, Steve..."
As he had stood outside the centre smoking a cigarette, rehashing the night he fell off the wagon and subsequently confessed to Steve, his eyes kept glancing around for his wife's car. He had worriedly looked at his watch. It wasn't like Carla to be late, especially for something like this. Just when he was ready to go back inside to try calling her, he saw a Streetcars cab pull up. He flicked his cigarette and picked his duffle bag up off the ground, only to feel his heart sink when he saw his sister Tracy step out from the passenger side.
"Oh, charming Peter!" She snorted at the look on his face, "trust me, you'll be glad it were me in this cab in a few minutes. Come on, get a move on, will ya?" She slid into the backseat, and Peter gave a nod to Lloyd before climbing in the back.
"Where's Carla?" Peter asked, feeling a sense of dread take over him
Tracy and Lloyd exchanged glances in the rearview mirror, "She's at Roy's..." Tracy finally responded
"Roy's?" Peter asked, "Why? Has something happened? Is he alright?"
"Yeah, he's fine except he's got a new lodger that's probably doing his head in." Tracy quipped
"Lodger?" Peter shook his head, "Who?"
"Your wife," Tracy responded, for once not finding any pleasure in her brother's relationship problems
"What?" Peter spun in his seat to face Tracy, "Why is she staying there?"
"Because she found out all about you and Tina," Tracy responded glibly, as Peter's eyes widened in horror, "the whole street knows."
"How?"
"Steve," Lloyd responded, "Simon apparently was blaming Carla for you falling off the wagon, and Tina went back to yours to try to calm him down. And when she and Carla came back in the pub, everybody was praising Tina on how wonderful she is with Simon and making snide remarks at Carla's expense about how Simon's lucky to have Tina while you were away and it made his blood boil. Said he was sick of seeing her cozying up to Carla like she was Mary Flippin' Poppins knowing what you two were getting up to, and he snapped."
"But why would Carla stay at Roy's when we have the flat?" Peter asked, feeling sick to his stomach
"Because a couple days after the dust settled, her and Tina had it out in the street. Tina kept trying to talk to her and she kept refusing, so the gobby thing accosted her outside the flat and they went right at it. How Carla resisted laying her out is beyond me. The things she said," Tracy snorted, "she deserved a right slap!"
"What did she say?" Peter pressed,
"That you two were in love, and you both didn't want to hurt Carla, but it just happened. That it started on your wedding night..."
"Oh God," Peter dropped his head into his hands, "This were all a huge mistake. I don't love Tina, I never loved Tina! I've only ever loved Carla!"
"Yeah well, surprisingly I believe you, but I mean, honestly Peter: Tina McIntyre? What the hell were you thinking?" Tracy asked
"Oh, so you're telling me you're not thrilled to have an opportunity to stick the boot in to Carla!" Peter snapped at her,
"Hey, I thought I were going to jump on that opportunity and all," Tracy acquiesed, raising her hands in mock surrender on either side of her, "but you didn't the look on Carla's face when she tried to walk away from Tina multiple times, only to have Tina whip her around and tell her how you had your trysts in the flat, and how the first time was when Carla was at Hayley's," Tracy shook her head, "I mean that's low Peter, even for you! No wonder she can't stay in that flat." She lovingly rubbed his back in small circles, "Carla was so distraught. She just stood there while Tina gobbed off, her hand just rubbing her stomach and staring off beyond the gobby mare until Simon came into it,"
"Si?" Peter asked, "what did he do?"
"Got right in between them and stood in front of Carla. Started yelling at Tina to never speak to him again. Then he and Carla went up to the flat."
"This is a mess," Peter rubbed his forehead, "I need to speak to her,"
"You're going to have one hell of a time trying," Tracy said, "her and Rob have put in a temporary change of ownership between the factory and the shop. He's working at the factory, and you'll be running the shop with me, until you and Carla come to a financial decision."
"What? Oh no," Peter laughed shaking his head, "I am not working in that shop with you!"
"Oh would you rather work with Rob then, and I'll work with Carla?" Tracy responded tersely,
"No, I want to work with my wife!" Peter nearly shouted in exasperation
"Well," his sister pressed her lips together, "that won't be happening anytime in the near future! And with Cropper acting as the Alfred Pennyworth to her Bruce Wayne, you could rest assure, you won't be seeing her anytime soon, either."
Peter sighed, pressing his forehead against the window. If he didn't have his wits about him, he would be reaching for the nearest bottle by the time he got home.
May 12th 2014
Peter had been back in Weatherfield for three days and had yet to see his wife.
He called into Roy's multiple times, but was given short shrift from the cafe owner. He tried calling, texting, anything, but Carla wasn't responding to any of his messages. He tried catching her at the factory only to be told by Sally that she had taken the next few days off, before offering to get Rob for him, which he hastily declined.
He couldn't avoid Leanne though, and boy did she fall into her stride! He managed to talk Simon round, promising him that he wasn't breaking up their family, especially not when Simon had really started to take a liking to Carla. According to Leanne, he visited Carla in the cafe everyday for his tea, and they would watch a movie together in Roy's flat, while Leanne finished her shift at the Bistro. The thought of his son and Carla getting along both swelled and broke his heart.
He also couldn't avoid Tina, who was ringing his buzzer and calling him incessantly until he finally flung his door open and demanded to know what she wanted. She couldn't accept that he didn't love her; that he never intended on leaving Carla for her. And after what felt like hours, he slammed the door in her face, telling her to get out of his sight and his life once and for all.
Three days he had been back, and it finally led him to this very moment.
He tapped his fingers in a highly agitated manner along the granite of the desk, his eyes boring into the apathetic woman sitting just beyond his reach as she typed away ignorantly on her keyboard.
"Look, can you not pick up the pace here a little bit," he snapped with a little more force than he meant, causing the woman to peer up at him in sheer annoyance over her spectacles. He closed his eyes, allowing his head to drop forward and let out a forceful exhale, "please," he whispered, his eyes gazing back into hers, "this is a matter of life and death," he stated gently, his brown orbs conveying his desperation.
The woman visibly softened as she took in his tired and haggard face. She pursed her lips and sighed heavily, "Look, Mr…?"
"Barlow, Peter Barlow," he answered her quickly.
"Mr. Barlow," she began softly, rising from her seat to address him as she removed her eyeglasses, "Unless they have specifically requested for us to contact someone for them, we are not to release any information regarding our patients."
"But if I can only just see her," he tried desperately, "please. Look we had a fallin' out and she thinks I don't love her anymore, which couldn't be further from the truth. I need her to know-"
"Mr. Barlow," the nurse held up her hand indicating him to cease, "I'm very sorry but as I stated, I am not allowed to disclose patient information." She watched sympathetically as his head fell forward once more in utter anguish. She leaned forward and placed her hand gently upon his, "I really am sorry, sir."
Biting back the tears that threatened to fall, he gave a small nod and turned away from the desk. He began aimlessly wandering the hallways, his gaze focused on the floor ahead of him.
'Every flamin' ward in every flamin' 'ospital looks exactly the same,' he thought despondently, 'same dull walls, same beige tiles, same wooden doors…'
He was unsure how long he walked the maze of halls; left, right, left again...he continued picking directions on a whim, losing all sense of time until he came upon some sort of waiting room. He eased himself into one of the empty chairs, his face immediately falling into his hands as he massaged his pounding head.
'How did I let this happen?' he thought sadly, remembering the conversation he had not an hour earlier that led him to the hospital wing...
"What the 'ell are you doin' 'ere?" Rob growled, stepping out of the office and onto the factory floor, effectively blocking Peter's path.
"Look, I didn't come here to fight with you," Peter acquiesced, holding his hands up in front of him.
"Well if you came looking for my sister so you could try to worm your way back into her life you've got another thing coming…" the younger man growled, before turning his head towards the machinsists, "Oi! Get back to work! Carla pays you to stitch not gawp!" he snapped angrily
"I'm not here to see Carla-" Peter began but was cut off as Michelle stepped out of the office
"He's 'ere to see me." She finished for him, refusing to cower under the glowering gaze Rob now fixed upon her, "come on through to the office Peter," she gestured with her head, gently tugging on Rob's sleeve and guiding him away from the door. "Let me 'andle this eh?"
"What are you playin' at Michelle?" Rob hissed in a whisper, "you know our Carla doesn't want him knowing…"
"He 'as a right to know Rob," Michelle stated firmly, following Peter into the office, an incensed Rob on her heels.
"After what he did to my sister, he doesn't 'ave a right to know anything that goes on in her life anymore." Rob shouted, waving his hand dismissively in Peter's direction.
"I never meant to hurt Carla," Peter said softly, "I lov-"
"Don't you dare!" Michelle hissed, rounding on him viciously, her eyes blazing fury and her finger jabbing into his chest, "don't you dare say those words Peter Barlow, because coming from you they may as well mean nowt!" Both men were slightly taken aback by her outburst, but she continued to snarl at him, "don't think for a second that my callin' you 'round 'ere was so I could help you get back into Carla's good graces because it's not 'appening. I supported your relationship because I supported her, not you."
This wasn't what Michelle had intended when she called Peter earlier that morning, but now that he was stood in front of her, she couldn't help but unleash the years of pent-up aggression she had built up towards him; "You took advantage of her vulnerable state after she were raped; you selfishly pulled her into an affair when you knew Foster was trying to stitch her up as being a cheat and a liar. You allowed her to be humiliated in court, humiliated on the street, tormented in 'ere by that scumbag, she nearly gets banged up for murder, and if that wasn't enough, you…the man she loves as much as she loved our Paul and our Liam - maybe even more so -…you then turn on her! Blamin' her for the custody battle between you and Leanne."
Peter bowed his head as Michelle's words cut him to the core, "Believe me Michelle I still hate myself for that-"
"Oh yeah," she snorted derisively, "Not enough to keep hurtin' her though eh? You said some 'orrible things to her, then you try to involve her in your attempted kidnapping of your son. She left everything behind Peter to help you get your life sorted." Michelle could no longer stop the tears that pooled in her eyes, "she left me, she left her brother, she left her business... for you!" Her palms slapped against her thighs. "And then you come back here and after another year of her backing you and supporting you, you cop off with Tina flamin' McIntyre! On your wedding day! and if that weren't enough, you engage in an affair with her, fall off the wagon and then blame Carla for it! You shattered her heart Peter Barlow, so believe me, she is better off without you!"
"I know she is," Peter acquiesced quietly, "I've never deserved her -
"Well at least we're all agreed on that fact," Rob growled
"But I love her, and I will do anything to make this right again," Peter promised
Rob rolled his eyes in disgust, "Why have you invited him around 'ere Michelle?"
Michelle sighed, "Well, I wasn't going to invite him around to the pub, was I? Not with his bit on the side lingering around waiting for him to run off with her," her eyes locking onto Rob's, "'and because despite everything that he's done, Carla's potential decision is still the wrong one Rob. And deep down you know that."
"Michelle," Peter pleaded gently, "please tell me where she is?"
Rob shook his head in defeat, his hand rising and falling softly to his side before he softly said, "Carla's at the hospital."
"We think she's gone to 'ave an abortion," Michelle whispered, feeling a slight wave of guilt for the man in front of her
Peter's head snapped up, his eyes alit with fear, "No," he shook his head, "no she can't."
"Her body, her choice mate," Rob stated.
"Look, all she said last night was that she headed to the hospital for an appointment later this morning to deal with it," Michelle said, "She'll probably hate me for telling you, but I think you have a right to know the truth no matter what her decision. Because I'm not gonna give you the chance to blame her for something else, Peter Barlow! And because I hate that she was finally coming around to the idea of being a mum, only to have you go and destroy that."
Peter took in a number of controlled breaths before fixing Michelle with his determined gaze, "which hospital?…"
"Peter?" a familiar male voice roused him from his thoughts. He lifted his gaze and settled on the inquisitive face of Marcus, "are you alright? Are you waiting for Carla?"
Peter's face lit up as he quickly pushed himself to a standing position, "She's still 'ere?"
Marcus' face fell slightly, "Peter," he began, his tongue nervously darting over his top lip, "does Carla know you're here?"
Shit. Peter angrily chided himself. He took a steadying breath and stepped closer to Marcus, his eyes pleading with the young man, "please mate," his voice was as thick as molasses, "please I just need to see her."
Marcus sighed, "she's just having a follow-up with the doctor," he stated shaking his head in aggravation with himself.
"Follow-up," Peter repeated, his heart sinking. He was too late.
"Look, I shouldn't be telling you where to find her okay? You didn't hear it from me, but just head down this hallway and make a right. You'll come upon a registration desk….if you happen to bump into anyone you know, so be it."
"Thank you mate, thank you I owe you one!" Peter thanked him as he broke into a jog down the hallway, leaving Marcus to rub his now pounding head.
As soon as he turned the corner, his eyes fell upon her familiar slender frame as she stepped into the hallway with her back to him.
"Lots of rest Mrs Barlow," a doctor who followed her out stated gently, "lots of fluids and take it easy for the next few days. I reckon' you're going to be a bit uncomfortable for the next 48 to 72 hours."
"Thank you doctor," she stated quietly.
"Take care," he smiled and place a hand on her back directing her towards the elevators, which happened to be right next to where Peter was standing gawping at her.
Her eyes widened in shock as they came to rest upon him. He thought he saw a small flicker of love dancing behind her eyes, but as she stepped closer to him, he could see it had almost immediately been replaced with a steely gaze; she had her barriers up.
"What are you doin' 'ere?" she asked softly, her voice thick with emotion as she wrapped her arms protectively around her chest
"I came to try to talk you out of-" Peter began
"Sorry Mrs Barlow," the doctor had appeared behind her, handing her two small, square pieces of paper, "you left this on the table. Remember what I said about taking it easy while those flu-like symptoms subside. Congratulations again!" he said with a broad smile, nodding politely to Peter before heading back into the room.
Peter felt the room spin about him once more, his heart swelling in his chest. He gestured to the papers in her hand, "is that…"
"Scan," she whispered, "of our baby."
Peter breathed out a sigh of relief, his eyes flooding with tears as he allowed a large smile to tug at his lips, "oh Carla-" he stepped forward to wrap her in his arms but she backed away from him sharply
"You thought I'd get rid of it?" her tone was accusatory, her eyes brimming with tears, "without telling you?"
He couldn't respond. He simply stood there staring at her as she bit her lip and shook her head, "I wouldn't blame you if you did after everything that's happened..." he finally whispered
She chuckled humourlessly at him, "Just goes to show you, eh" she stated bitterly as she stepped around him, "you never really knew me at all…."