In the distance, we could finally spot our destination: the much talked of Garreg Mach Monastery. The medieval aesthetic isn't all that impressive to me. However, the church and the school environment is familiar to me since I once visited a private school.
I had visited some old but grand churches before. However, none of the constructions had a school just as old and grand as the cathedral next to it. Shortly after we had entered through the gates, we had to say goodbye to the three future leaders. They wanted to go back to their friends and assure them everything was fine. I found it amusing that they all expressed meeting up with Byleth afterward. The idea that three people, who are set to become influential leaders of three main factions, are enamored by a silent and unknown stranger feels like a cliche. Still, her getting caught up in the events to come is as necessary as the sun rising in the dawn. The question is what my purpose is in all of this is, if I even have one? Will it be a hopeful one, or something far more tragic? I'll pray for the former, prepare for the latter.
I trailed after Byleth and Jeralt as they climbed the main gateway building. Then, after climbing a rather unnecessary amount of stairs, Jeralt stopped and looked up a building. At the same time, my nose found a scent that was unlike any other I smelled like a human nor wolf. My nose felt like it was smelling 'history' if that made any sense. It came from above; I lifted my head and spotted someone looking down on us.
"Rhea's here." I've known Jeralt for a little over two months. In those two months, he's come off as a calm but commanding man in nearly everything he does except the occasional dad joke and his drinking episodes. However, every time I've heard him speak about The Knights of Seiros, he's shown fear and resignation that is unlike the man I've come to know. Now? When looking at this Rhea woman, he's acting as if he walking to a guillotine.
My wolf eyes can absorb much more details from afar than my human ones. Rhea is another woman so beautiful that there's a chance that some of these knights may have pledged loyalty to her, not for religious reasons. Either that or I'm just so lonely that I find anyone of the opposite gender attractive. There is a possibility of it being both.
"I wonder. Did the flow of time bring you here?" The word, time, catches my attention. I remembered a strange memory when Byleth saved Edelgard. At first, I thought she was trying to shield The Imperial Princess from a fatal blow, but then the event replayed, and she ended up parrying the attack. It was like time rewind or was erased and rewritten.
... Ugh.
I watch too many of Jojo's Bizarre Adventures. Huh, now that I'm thinking about it, Byleth's clothes are weird enough to pass for a stand user. I am convinced there aren't many cloaks with open sleeves after all. There is also the fact I heard Sothis sometime before but didn't see any sign of her. If Byleth does have the ability to erase time and rewrite it and has an invisible ghost following her around, doesn't that mean...
Holy surfing caped crusaders! The newest avatar of Fire Emblem is a Stand User!
"Remus!" If my master wasn't badass before, she just became even more badass by indirect reference alone!
Oh wait, she and Jeralt are walking ahead. I can't, but can, believe that I was so distracted that I didn't even notice the other two going without me.
I know it's completely useless, (useless, useless) but before things go to hell, I wonder if I can get Byleth to pose menacingly?
He was a gatekeeper. It was not the most glamorous job, considering he was in one of the most important places in all of Fódlan, but by golly, he would do his best in it! Besides, the job was pretty cool. He got to meet the famed Jeralt, The Blade Breaker in person!
Okay, so he didn't meet them, per se. He just saluted at them and pointed them in the direction of where the Arch Bishop was to meet him, his daughter, and his weird-looking dog.
But guess what!? They didn't fully close the doors behind them! So, he happened to overhear the fact that Jeralt's daughter was going to be a new professor here in the Officer's Academy! Whoa! That's the most exciting event that's happened in his short time as a gatekeeper!
"Hey, you!" The gatekeeper did his best not to drop his lance from the cry. He spotted a bishop walking up to him with a scowl, not a good sign at all. Was he caught overhearing? "This is the second floor. There are no guards stationed here. "
No guards? The gatekeeper looked around and saw that he was the only armored man in the vicinity. Then he remembered his employer telling him about how the second and third floor was off-limits to newcomers like him.
"My apologies! I'll go correct that now!" Okay, maybe this was too much excitement for a job as simple as watching a gate.
It wasn't long before the gatekeeper found his station (not before a scolding from his employer). This time he was stationed in the main reception hall. This time he will his job.
"So, I told the guys—"
"Nothing to report!" The gatekeeper was not having a good day. First, he goes to the wrong place by accident then gets scolded for it, now he gets caught off guard and repeats the phrase he's told to say to anyone that talks to him. "I apologize for that. I'm a bit jumpy today."
"Don't sweat it." Huh, this young man is so handsome. The other two he's with both look good, but this guy is like an adonis! "You're just doing your job. I think you're doing great, buddy."
The other two, a blonde man and a white-haired girl, smile but seem to be to slightly disprove of their handsome friend's behavior.
"Really? Thanks." The gatekeeper relaxes. "Now that I think about it, there is something I can report."
"Thank you. However," The white-haired girl is stopped by her handsome friend.
The handsome man smiles again before saying, "Sure, why don't you tell us any juicy bits?"
The gatekeeper is all but happy to oblige. "I saw Jeralt, The Blade Breaker, enter into the audience chamber to meet with Archbishop Rhea!"
That topic caught the three student's attention like a master fisherman to his prey. Their line of thought went like this: Jeralt happened to be the father of someone they wanted to recruit. They wanted this person, and their pet, to join their cause. So any information on them can be used as leverage to gain the upper hand and recruit her easier into their group of allies. But most of all, they wanted to do it before the other two beat them to it.
"Go on," The handsome man had a more predatory tone in his voice, but the gatekeeper was oblivious to the change in these 'nice' people.
"I wasn't supposed to be there because of a misunderstanding, but I was able to overhear something amazing about his daughter!"
What the young gatekeeper failed to realize was that he was telling this information to the last three people who deserved to hear this.
"So that's why all of you are going to help me recruit the most interesting mercenary I've ever met." Claude von Riegan had masterfully regaled the story of him, and some other two, meeting Byleth. He also happened to do this while he and a majority of his closest allies were in the Reception Hall.
"Ugh, that sounds like so much work!" Hilda Valentine Goneril did a combination of sighing and groaning.
"No, it's not! I've already made this plan to get her begging to be the professor of the Golden Deer House. See, she's stoic enough to make a chair look charismatic, but she has a super friendly pet wolf." Claude began to explain.
"A wolf?" Leonie Pinelli folded her arms. "I don't believe it. Are you sure it's not Captain Jeralt's pet?"
"I think you should be more surprised that a wolf can be a pet, Leonie." Ignatz Victor pushed up his glasses. "They aren't known to be domesticated like dogs are."
"The point is!" Claude spoke louder so that he could get back on topic. "All we have to do is be friends with a friendly creature. He'll like us so much that our future professor will have no choice but to pick us for the rest of the year to keep her friend happy."
"Am I to acknowledge that your scheme of the hour is simply to befriend some filthy mutt?" Lorenz Hellman Gloucester couldn't look more offended if he tried. "You've reached a new low, Claude."
"Considering your other schemes before, this one might be tame and simple." Lysithea von Ordelia sighed into her hand. At least this idea didn't seem like it would turn into a catastrophe, but she wasn't going to let down her guard.
"A wolf?" Marianne von Edmund whispered to herself as she thought about the creature mentioned.
"Uh, guys?" Raphael, 'Why has no one given this poor man a bigger shirt?', Kirsten caught everyone's attention even though he was in a far corner of the room and pointing outside one of the doors. "Where are all the Blue Lion students going?"
"What?" Disbelief was on Claude's face. He followed after Raphael's exclamation and walked out of the Golden Deer classroom. He and the others witnessed many of the Blue Lion students migrating towards one direction but could not guess the specific location. At that point, Claude spotted one student walking right by him and did not hesitate to catch his attention. "Hey, where are all of you going?"
Edelgard von Hresvelg confided to her friend and loyal vassal, Hubert von Vestra, that there was someone she wished to join the cause of the Empire and that this person had the choice of being the esteemed professor of her very house.
"We must convince her to become the main professor of the Black Eagles!" With that much conviction from her voice, it sounded more like a command than a suggestion. For Edelgard, this was the same thing.
Edelgard was awestruck with Byleth's ability to fight as well as lead. In a sense, she wanted to be more like her, to fight and lead with such strength. To even learn from someone of her caliber would benefit her in the long run. That was why she had to make sure Byleth would choose The Black Eagle House.
"Understood, Lady Edelgard. I shall begin the plan posthaste." What instead happened posthaste was the sound of deep snoring before the sentence ended. Edelgard and Hubert turned to their right to notice Linhardt von Hevring face-first into the book he was reading and making quite the noise despite not being awake.
"Wow, Lindhart. That must be a boring book if even you manage to sleep through it." Caspar von Bergliez slapped the sleeping man's back in good nature, even though he barely seemed to awaken from the act.
"I get it not." Petra Macneary spoke in a broken language, but there was curiosity in her voice. "Why does boring make a person sleep?"
"Sweetie," Dorothea Arnault looked to the princess of Brigid. "It's hard to explain, but have you heard the phrase, 'a body in motion, tends to stay in motion'?"
While the songstress tried to explain why boringness could cause sleep to the foreign princess, Ferdinand von Aegir took this chance to stand up from his seat. "Fear not, Edelgard! Recruiting a mercenary is but a simple task for a noble! I will find this woman and convince her to be The Black Eagle professor."
"Aaaah!?" Everyone, even Lindhart, looked back to see Bernadetta von Varley pointing outside their classroom. "Why are there so many people moving in one direction!? Are they all going to storm the weapons vault and kill me!? It's finally happened, hasn't it!?"
"Bernadetta, you are in no danger!" Edelgard walked up to her but did notice a large number of students, mostly Blue Lion students, passing by the school rooms. "But where are they all heading?"
Hubert stopped two Blue Lion students passing by their door and asked, "What are the Blue Lions up to?"
"Damn!" Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd was not one to curse, but he had to admit that planning was not his forte.
"Your Highness, please," His stalwart and tall friend, Dedue Molinaro, attempted to calm down the man pacing back and forth in the Knight's Hall. "A clear mind can think of a better plan."
A sigh escaped the prince's lips after hearing that. "You're right, Dedue. But I can't help see a disadvantage The Blue Lions have when compared to The Goldeen Deers and The Black Eagles. Edelgard has Hubert, an acclaimed and astute man, who can no doubt concoct a brilliant strategy to win over Byleth to the Black Eagles. Claude is as creative as he, dare I admit, is bold. I don't doubt he already devised some insane strategy to have Byleth interested and invested in The Golden Deer House the moment we were all told she was given the first choice in whichever house she wanted."
"A boar such as you can only charge forward. Planning has never been your strong suit." Felix Hugo Fraldarius, a childhood friend of the prince, practiced perfecting his swordplay at the training area of the hall despite the conversation going on.
It was harsh, but Dimitri found himself unable to refute the criticism, even though he knew Felix to be as sharp and to the point as the blades he uses. Planning wasn't his nor many of his allies strong suits.
"Come on, Felix, don't be so hard on his Highness," The owner of this energetic but sweet voice belonged to Ashe Ubert. "It shouldn't be hard to come up with a plan to help recruit this mercenary as the new professor for the Blue Lions! We all just gotta put our heads together!"
"You said she right?" Many of the Blue Lions looked over to the owner of this voice. Sylvain Jose Gautier was a handsome young man, but also notoriously known for being a skirt chaser. "Just leave it to me, and she'll be joining the Blue Lions in no time!"
The handsome red-head felt a sting on the back of his head. He yelped in pain before he rubbed the back of his head and looked behind him to see Ingrid Brandl Galatea gripping a rolled-up scroll in her hand. "We want her to join, Sylvain, not get harassed!" She then pointed at him while holding the scroll. There was a silent threat of her using it again if Sylvain continued his path.
"I have a wonderful idea!" Mercedes von Martritz 's voice was soft and like that of a spring breeze. "Why don't we throw a tea party?"
"Oh, that's a great idea, Mercie!" Annette Fantine Dominic clasped her hands together and closed her eyes imagining all the goodies something like that would have. "We should do it for all the mercenaries too for doing a great job protecting all the three house heads and an entire village from a bandit attack."
"Brilliant!" The head of The Blue Lions couldn't help but scream out in joy after hearing something so simple. "Annette, Mercedes, the idea you both proposed is brilliant, but also simple courtesy. Those mercenaries, even if they are acclaimed, risked their lives to protect us and others we dragged into our mess. Paying them is not enough to return our gratitude."
Dimitri looked to the core members of The Blue Lion House. "Gather everyone else in our house! We're going to prepare a tea party for Captain Jeralt's Mercenaries! Dedue, ask the staff if we can borrow the mess hall for the rest of the day. Mercedes, Ashe, and Annette prepare a list of dishes and ingredients we can make ready with current supplies. Sylvain, Ingrid, and Felix gather the other students of the Blue Lion House to help host and prepare the mess hall!"
Felix started to complain. Unfortunately for him, Ingrid interrupted him and grabbed him by the sleeve, giving him no room to say no in the matter while Sylvain chased after the other two. Ashe, Mercedes, and Anette went after the first three. As they did, the three excitedly discussed what type of tea, pastries, and meals they could include for this party. Dedue gave a short bow before heading off towards the office department for a formal request, leaving Dimitri alone in the Knight Hall.
Dimitri did wonder if it was backhanded that he planned to use this party not just for repaying his gratitude and respect, but also to try and convince Byleth further into becoming the professor of the Blue Lions. This concoction felt like Claude's plan more than his own. However, since he is competing for Byleth's favor like the other two, he had no intention to lose.
The student pointed for Claude and the rest of the Golden Deer members. "His Highness has ordered his house to help prepare a massive tea party in the mess hall. It's a thank-you party to Captain Jeralt and his mercenaries for saving his life. Would you like to join us after we finish preparing? We're making many baked goods like cookies and cake to go along with some fresh tea."
"Did you say cake!?" Lysithea stopped her excitement, took a glance around her, and then coughed into her fist.
"Free food!?" To the white-haired girl's relief, Raphael was just as excited at the prospect of a free meal.
"Whoa! We should go! All the best sweets are from The Kingdom!" Hilda showed more interest in going to a free tea party than many other activities in the past month.
"I must admit if they're offering a special brew of their Iced Glacier tea, I might take them up on that offer!" Lorenz couldn't help but imagine himself taking a sip of the exotic and cold cup of tea. The simple idea of it made him more excited than he allowed himself to reveal.
"Thanks for the invite, we're looking forward to your party!" Claude spoke fast. Then he quickly turned away from the leaving student with his hand on his chin.
"Well played, Dimitri, well played." The more he thought about it, the more he had to admit, in his mind, that this plan was indeed multilayered. It's not wrong per se, but the leader of the Golden Deer could see Dimitri using this tea party to woo Byleth into becoming the professor for the Blue Lions with their exotic food and drinks. This plan benefitted the Blue Lions because a majority of their students had some background in cooking. Not only that, even he had to admit that when it was time for the Blue Lions to cook meals for the school, they had some of the best tasting food.
Was there an unwritten rule from the Kingdom that decreed that all knights must also be bakers and cooks on the side!?
Claude couldn't hope to organize something like this. Mostly because while he treasured his classmates, seeing as over half of his supposed allies wanted to join them the instant they heard such a thing, adding on to the fact many of them would rather eat food than prepare it, the chances of The Golden Deer house matching a tea party hosted by the Blue Lions was slim at best.
However, there was a reason why Claude was known as The Schemer. It was a moniker he would soon put to use.
"The Blue Lions hosting a thank-you party for the mercenaries?" Hubert hated that he was smiling the more he thought about it. "A strong move. Most of the most renown cooks in the school are from the Kingdom." The vassal of Edelgard looked back at the rest of the Black Eagles to see the usual chaos they perpetuated. "We have no hope of matching such a strategy."
Edelgard could own up to her flaws, but she wasn't expecting such a decisive strike to come from Dimitri. She underestimated the future king, but this was not going to stop her. "I refuse to lose! There must be something we can do!"
"Lady Edelgard, if I may suggest something?" Hubert's smile returned full force as something crept into his mind. "We might not have to do much per se. Rather, all we have to do is clean up the mess."
"Mess?" Edelgard turned to Hubert.
"Well, considering the mass flock, it's more than likely Claude of the Golden Deers has learned what we just learned. I have a suspicion that he too can't hope to match an exquisite invitation as the Blue Lion's tea party, but instead may try to sabotage their efforts."
Edelgard began to imagine. It is true; confrontations were not Claude's style. Claude may do something mischievious as to not lose an opportunity to snag Byleth for his house as Edelgard does. "But what will knowing that do?"
If someone else saw Hubert at that moment, they would assume his smirk to be similar to that of a demon. Then again, to some who knew him, it was sometimes the same thing. Hubert explained a plan, one that even Edelgard had to admit was shady. However, she would not back down. She wanted, no, needed Byleth to be her teacher.
So be it! It was time for war—a tea party!
Oh the pain, the agony, the horrors! Woe is I! Doomed to a never-ending madness.
"Aww, look at that dog! He's rubbing his back on the carpet and squirming like a worm. It's so adorable!"
I cannot begin to describe how much I loathe the fact my wolf ears can hear that from this distance. Alas, I can't refute it though. This dumb wolf, with random dog instincts, is laying on a carpet and rubbing his back on it with no sense or reason to his movements, all the while giving a goofy grin that all dogs do.
I am trying to tell this dog-wolf to stop. It is not working. The need to scratch myself drowns out whatever command I try to give this blasted body. Byleth is no help either as all she's doing is sitting beside me reading a book. Whenever our eyes meet and I silently beg for help all she does is give a small smile in return and then continues reading her book! I am in distress, woman! Do not let the happy panting fool you!
And now I'm hungry again. Will my suffering ever end!?
Despite my complaints, my ears pick up footsteps that, even though a fair distance, I could sense their weight from where I was. This new incoming presence is enough for me to take back control and roll back to my belly at least. My senses soon spot a student, and that word is used to the broadest of its definition because he is a behemoth of a man wearing school clothing, walking towards us.
He bows towards Byleth. "Forgive the intrusion," He sounds like a butler despite his appearance. "You are invited to a tea party hosted by the Blue Lions. It is to express gratitude to Captain Jeralt's Mercenaries for saving His Highness' life. We also wish for you to join as well."
A tea party? Well, at least I know I'm not in America. Bloody yanks.
Byleth pauses for a second before she closes her book. "Alright, thank you for the invitation."
Yes! Food! I am famished. If it's a tea party, then there's a good chance there's going to be sweets and the like. I may be a wolf, and sugar and sweets might still be poisonous to me, but I haven't eaten anything else but meat in months! My cravings are killing me! I plan to sneak and eat some sweets while Byleth and Jeralt aren't looking.
Haha! My plan is foolproof. There's no way this can backfire!
The Mess Hall was more grandiose than the name suggested. It was the size of a football stadium if you were to ask Archie. The benches and tables were long; if someone were to sit on them, they would feel the high quality by their butts.
Many from the monastery were there. Some of the knights of Seiros, the three houses, and Jeralt's Mercenaries sat in the seats. Dimitri gave a polite but short speech about thanking the mercenaries for a job well done before asking the first serving of goods and tea be sent to them.
Anette was one of the servers and was about to hand a cake to Jeralt and Byleth's table. She was so excited that she didn't notice the rug was bent and caught her foot. The result: Lady Dominic tripped and dropped the cake.
Mercedes was quick to run to her fallen friend. Someone else ran to her for a different reason. Archie spurred on by animal instincts and human cravings, ran up to the fallen cake to devour its contents.
Byleth got up from her seat to stop her strange pet from eating human food. There was a problem with this plan. The reason why was that Remus lifted his head from the cake then started vibrating.
Allow me to explain. The leader of the Golden Deers, Claude Von Riegan, wanted to sabotage his rival's attempt of gaining Byleth's favor. He did this by sneaking into the Mess Hall kitchen and 'tampered' with the batter for baked goods. He placed in his concoction that worked like a, shall we say, laxative. The supposed laxative would only work an hour or two, but it won't stop people from feeling nauseous.
Claude was quick to make his escape. However, when he left, Hubert teleported in. As if the stars had aligned, Hubert also planned to spike the sweets batter with his poison. It wasn't lethal, goddess no. Its purpose was to make people feel food poisoning much faster than one would eat rotten food. But fear not, he handed Lady Edelgard the cure. Hubert made an educated guess that Claude would try to tamper with the tea party. Hubert didn't know how the Golden Deer head would accomplish this, but the loyal vassal knew that he wouldn't touch the food. He would keep his ears open and help the Black Eagles foil any attempts made by the Goldeen Deers. Then when the poison kicks in, the Goldeen Deers will be blamed, the Blue Lion's tea party will be ruined, and the Black Eagles will swoop in with the cure that will paint them as great heroes.
Only a fool would deny wanting to be part of such a house after that.
Then the confident man poured his poison into the same batter Calude put his in.
One teleport later, Hubert disappeared. Mercedes and Anette re-entered into the kitchen while carrying bags of species.
"I've never seen you use these spices before, Mercie." The orange-haired mage spoke as she set down the bags on a nearby table.
"A nice red-haired lady sold them to me," The other girl also put a bag down on the same table. "She told me that it would make the cakes taste better, but she also warned me not to use the spice in anything but baked goods."
"Well, it's not like we're using these spices for anything else! Let's put them in and mix them with the rest!"
As one can imagine, the spices did not mix well with two different poisons.
The result of the three nonfactors mixing was... well...
Let me put it this way: Archie was currently witnessing what forever looked like while Remus was about to make Hell Hounds look like playful puppies.
Remus sped past several people before hopping on a table. His head dipped low, he inhaled a lot of air, and then he let loose an image that many would not forget.
"AaaahhhHHHOOOOOO!"
"That can not be good." Claude and Edelgard both whispered as they saw Remus turn back to all of them with drool flowing out of his mouth without any sign of control.
Byleth ran to reach for Remus, but the wolf moved faster than his master. A second later, an entire table and those sitting nearby were up in the air and knocked down like bowling pins.
Another second passed where another table saw a blur of silver before Remus barreled through unsuspecting knights and students.
Jeralt stood up and pointed. "Get that wolf!" That command wasn't just for his mercenaries. Everyone took that order as if Jeralt was their long-time superior.
Everyone in the Mess Hall, containing some of the most prominent knights and future leaders of the continent, was tasked to catch some stupid high wolf.
Goddess, help them all.
"Ah-ha!" Raphael jumped into the path of the wolf. He stretched out his arms then swung them in to catch the silver beast. Unfortunately, he missed, and Remus just ran around his legs. The muscular student stood up to continue his chase, but the problem was with his shirt. It couldn't handle the fast stretching, or specifically, the buttons could no longer hold themselves together. That's why when the shirt snapped; the buttons flew off like being shot from geysers.
One of the speeding buttons slammed right into the forehead of Professor Hanneman von Essar with enough force to knock him to the ground and make his forehead red.
Professor Manuela Casagranda was unfortunate enough to have her mouth open in shock when this happened. Because of that, a button flew and got stuck right in her throat. With a button trapped in her throat, Manuela was now gagging as her life depended on it which technically it was.
No matter how hard she coughed, the button wasn't coming out. Desperate, she spotted a tea set nearby and reached for the drink. She never got it. Remus ran on the table and knocked it over, preventing her from getting rid of the thing trapped in her throat.
But not to worry! When Remus passed by, Alois Rangeld launched himself to catch the crazed wolf. The Knight of Seiros missed, but instead, his head bashed into Manuela's stomach. The impact of the blow caused Manuela to cough the button out with almost the same force it went in. It's just too bad that Professor Hanneman was getting back up on his feet, only to look a little to his right then get hit again by a similar but slightly wet button in the same place as the first. A shame he was knocked down the same as the first time.
"Sylvain, Felix, we need to catch that wolf!" Ingrid was quick to run and join in the others trying to corner the silver beast.
"Of course! As soon as I catch the runaway creature, ladies will flock all over me!" The heir of house Gautier had the wrong reason for getting involved, but at least he was going to help.
Sir Fraldarius fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Why should I even get involved in something asinine as this?" Instead, he stayed behind and watched his other two childhood friends rush in to try and capture the fast-moving creature.
The battle-oriented noble was interested when he saw the wolf slip between Sylvain's legs and caused him to trip and fall right into Ingrid, who punched him off by instinct. Lady Galatea gasped before checking to see her friend was alright.
Felix watched a second as the wolf started to move around with a strange amount of poise and grace from something with a crazed look on his face. "Alright, maybe this might be interesting after all." The swordsman reached for the training blade he was wielding, but there was a blur of silver. He felt his body get yanked to the right, but he was able to stop himself from falling.
He noticed that his sword sheath was no longer attached to his waist. Felix then turned to the sound of garbled growling. Remus, while atop a table, stole his sword sheath and was shaking his head while his mouth clamped on it.
"Give that back!" The swordsman didn't hesitate to strike the wolf where he stood. After all, they said to capture the wolf. They said nothing about having to harm it.
He expected the blade to whack the head of the beast. He did not expect Remus to turn and parry his attack.
"What!?" Felix followed his initial attack up with several strikes. However, Remus dodged the first one, parried the second one, and then countered the third one with enough force to knock the wooden blade off Felix's hands! Unfortunately, the sword flew and slammed into the face of poor Professor Hanneman, who tried to get up only to get knocked down a third time.
"How in the world?" The swordsman didn't even get to finish his last word before Remus pounced on him. Felix hit the ground, and when he did, he felt something wet on his face. It took him another moment to realize that the wolf was licking him.
Felix growled and tried to grab on to the mangy mutt, but alas, he was too slow. Remus already left before he could swing his arms. The Fraldarius heir glared as he stood back up, then he heard the sound of snickers and looked to see Sylvain and Ingrid looking at him with hands over their mouths.
"Dude, you got out skilled by a wolf!" To Felix, Sylvain had the most punchable smile on his face right then.
The redhead found the wolf slobber less funny when Felix launched himself at him.
"I got 'em!" Caspar dove and caught on to Remus the moment he saw the beast slow down his pace. Sir Bergliez swelled with pride... then it was all replaced with dread as he didn't have the proper footing to stop the wolf. Remus was stronger than the young man thought he'd be and even with Caspar hanging on, Remus sped around like he was as free as the wind.
So now, Caspar was no longer trying to catch Remus. He was holding on for dear life while screaming his head out.
This situation only got worse when Remus made a hard jink to the right and ran towards...
Bernadetta von Varley.
It was bad enough that she had to go to a large gathering and meet with other people. Then the chaos erupted. During this, the young student froze while her heart rate and thoughts went a mile a millisecond. When Remus and a screaming Caspar Bergliez started going in her direction, she did the only reasonable thing she could.
Okay no, she ran with all the frenzy of a thousand headless chickens. Leonie Pinelli was on her way to try and capture the crazed animal, and maybe (or more likely) to impress Jeralt, but then found herself five feet in the air and looking up at the ceiling. A second later, she found herself on the ground with back pain and the memory of a little girl tossing her like a pancake.
Now, before we continue explaining the chaos, there is something we would like you, the reader, to remember for later. In Lady Varley's mad dash, she had accidentally pushed a female monk over a cooking counter. The lady fell, yet during her fall, she activated one of the friers. There was now an unattended flame growing while chaos abounded.
That was why we would borrow your attention.
You may continue.
Claude was dumbfounded. "I," The word hung for a second longer than he wanted before he continued. "did not want any of this to happen."
Lorenz stopped his run before he turned with all the force of an executioner towards his house head. "Claude, what did you do this time!?"
The Golden Deer leader raised his hands as if to defend himself. "I swear I thought I perfected the poison! I didn't know it had this effect on animals!"
"Poison!?"
Lorenz and Claude, against every fiber of their beings, angled their heads to their right.
When someone thinks of a textbook definition of a knight among the students, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd comes to mind. Lorenz and Claude, at that moment, saw the head of the Blue Lions more akin to his rumored 'boar' nickname: the way he snarled like a beast, how his eyes narrowed, and how the Golden Deer students could swear the ground beneath his feet were cracking by force.
"I-It's not poison!" Claude defended himself. "It was just a laxative of my own making!" He rubbed the back of his head while giving off a nervous laugh when none of his words were calming his rival down. "G-Guess it doesn't work with animals, huh?" The leader of Golden Deer turned to Lorenz for any form of help. However, there was nothing but empty air where a purple-haired noble should have been standing in.
Curse Lorenz for ignoring his noble obligations the one time Claude didn't want him to be!
In a different circumstance, the leader of the Golden Deers would have found it impressive for Dimitri to make a sound scarier than any animal he's heard off.
"Claude!"
A shame he wasn't in any of those situations.
Edelgard watched with amounts of horror and surprise when Remus continued to evade a myriad of skilled people even after dropping Caspar some time ago.
The future empress looked to Hubert with a silent look that screamed for an explanation.
He gave a small bow. "Apologizes, Lady Edelgard, I did not expect this outcome. We can still make the most of this all we need to do is," Whatever he was about to say next was interrupted by a helmet moving with enough force to blindside Hubert at his blindspot.
Edelgard looked to her left and sidestepped silverware that would have hit her. The reason why items were flying around was that Remus, in his crazed state, was now picking up fallen items such as boots, gauntlets, plates and some crushed sweets and throwing them all around with no rhyme or reason, but a lot of power. People that couldn't catch the wolf were unlucky enough to get pelted by food and other items. Some, in the heart of chaos, assumed it wasn't Remus who hit them with food but someone else. Their reaction was to retaliate, sparking a food fight to add among the chaos around them.
Edelgard heard the sound of a bark and turned behind her. Remus had come to a full stop because he was eating some thrown cake on the ground.
The root of all this chaos was right in front of her! Edelgard made her move until Claude grabbed her shoulders and spun her to hide behind her back.
"Hey, Eddie! Do you mind if I ask a small favor?" Edelgard didn't have time to respond as she saw that the favor in question had just picked up a bench and split it in two for makeshift lances.
Okay, she was getting an idea of how Claude was feeling. Still, "Why are you dragging me into this!?"
"You two like each other!" Edelgard did not like the implications Claude was giving. "He'll calm down if you talk to him!"
Edelgard fought the urge to roll her eyes. But her eyes did spot Remus now eating a fallen pie. "Dimitri! Remus is right there!"
The Leader of the Blue Lions did look in the direction where Edelgard pointed. Remus stopped eating and lifted his head. There was a second of the silver beast coughing hard for a second before he stopped and went back to stuffing himself on the fallen pie.
"Yeah! Let's catch the wolf and end this nightmare!" Claude was quick to speak up.
Claude felt the pressure from Dimitri's glare. Luckily, it was far less intense than awhile ago, so the leader of the Golden Deers would take it. "I'm getting you after this, Claude."
"I didn't mean for this to happen!" He intended the chaos to be far less and come out on top to impress Byleth to join Golden Deers. Claude would never say that part even if Dimitri threatened him again. He did get serious in finishing this. "Alright surround Remus so he can't run anywhere else. Do it slowly we don't want him running off again."
The three lords circled Remus even with all the flying food and the pained bodies around them. They were in position and crept slowly on the animal. They froze when Remus lifted his head towards Dimitri. He panted with a smile as they all noticed Remus was staring at the broken bench like one of his fetch sticks.
The blonde prince's eyes lit up. He got down on one knee and moved the rather large piece of wood in front of Remus' face. "Do you want to fetch?"
His bait worked as Remus turned away from Edelgard to face Dimitri. The princess didn't hesitate to swoop in and scoop up the large mutt.
"Hey, we got him!" Claude smiled before he ducked a plate full of cookies. "Now we just gotta calm everyone down."
Edelgard was having more trouble than she thought. Remus kept trashing under her grip. "I still need help with this!"
"Here, I'll help!" Dimitri stood up to help. He nor Edelgard noticed how Remus seemed to be coughing worse than a while ago.
Linhardt von Hevring woke up. The first thing he noticed was everyone around him screaming or fainted on the floor with food all over them. As he tried to look around the war zone, he happened to spot Edelgard.
He saw his house leader trying to grip a wolf.
He saw the wolf coughing badly.
He saw the wolf somehow turn towards Edelgard and then open his mouth.
After seeing what came out of the wolf's mouth and what landed on Edelgard's face, Sir Hevring decided he was having a strange nightmare and went back to sleep.
That decision made him the smartest man of the hour.
Remus ran away while Claude and Dimitri stared with wide eyes and gaping mouths. Then they took a step back as the smell hit their nose.
"Uuugggh!" Claude shivered before he pinched his nose as hard as he could. "I was wondering if it was still a laxative. Then again, wolves have different biology to humans." He sounded silly with his nose compressed.
Silliness was nothing compared to what came out of Edelgard.
"Claude," There was a pause to ensure nothing fell into her mouth when opened. "If Dimitri doesn't kill you, I will." One can see this as karma for Edelgard for thinking she can get away with sabotaging the tea party and blaming it on the Golden Deers. But no one besides her and Hubert knew of this.
Claude swallowed his spit. Luckily for the handsome young man, there was a sound that silenced the chaos around them.
It was the sound of a whistle. Everyone stopped their chasing and food fight to see who had just made the sound. Near the cooking table, Byleth was seen taking her fingers out of her mouth.
"Remus!" She shouted. At the other end of the hall, Remus had just popped his head out of a torn table cloth. The crazed wolf dog looked over to his owner.
Byleth had a slice of cake in one hand and a large table sheet in the other. "I have cake! Do you want some, boy?"
The wolf happily panted before racing right for the professor. Remus sped past many people until he reached Byleth. The second the silver wolf was about to eat the cake, Byleth grabbed the plate and tossed it over her head. In a swift movement, she used the table cloth like a net to snag Remus and pinned him down in a makeshift sack.
"Hey! Teach did it!" Claude screamed while he and many others saw Byleth pinning down her pet while it was in a sack. "It's finally over!"
Do you remember when we told you to pay attention a while back?
Byleth had a simple but effective plan, but she overlooked one detail: the cake. She threw the thing over her head, but it fell into the open flame from a while back.
Chemistry is different in other words, and because it's different, some strange things happen: like say a young man's soul being put in a wolf. Another example: did you know that if you mixed Hubert's and Claude's poison with cake batter and Special Spice, it becomes a volatile substance? Did you know that if that volatile substance is cooked in an open flame for a second time after cooling down from the first time, it becomes flammable?
Everyone was about to cheer until an explosion of soot consumed them.
"Have you no intention of changing your mind, Rhea?" Seteth had distress shown in all his features. To be fair if anyone's superior, who they respected and trusted, hired someone off the streets and gave them a high-end job with much political influence, then they too would be worried. It would be insane if they didn't express worry.
Rhea wished this conversation was in a more private area, but she too wanted to go to the Tea Party hosted by the Blue Lions. Luckily for her and Seteth, there was barely a soul around as they had this discussion.
Before the man could express the many logical holes in this plan, Rhea interrupted him in the same soft but stern way she always had done. "I have made my decision, Seteth." She knew her friend was a cautious sort, and that she depended on his character these many years, but she tried to tell him that the stranger wasn't as untrustworthy as she seemed.
Seteth still was wary, more so because of Flayn. She was now there with them and whatever dangers were in the monastery could get her too.
Rhea stopped walking as they saw the Mess Hall a few feet away. "All I ask is that you trust me on this matter."
And then the Mess Hall spontaneously combusted.
There was silence between the two, even though screams of horror echoed from people and knights running out of the mess hall. One particular shriek came from Bernadette Von Varley, who was running like a woman possessed, covered with ash and traces of food on her, until she tripped near Rhea's feet.
"It's horrible!" The girl raised her head, her eyes closed shut, and hysteria and sorrow in her voice. "The cake! The wolf! The chaos!" She sobbed and cried, then grabbed on to the nearest cloth. When she did grab it, she blew her nose and tears into it.
Bernadetta froze as she grabbed on to what felt like the most exquisite silk she ever touched. Against every fiber of her being, she looked up and saw she had just blown her snot and tears into Archbishop Rhea's dress-Oh hey, darkness, how have you been my old friend?
Seteth and Rhea watched Bernadetta open her eyes then saw her pupils roll back into her head before she fell unconscious.
Rhea closed her eyes for a second before looking over to Seteth. No words needed to be said, but she could hear everything he was thinking at that moment.
More people ran out of the mess hall, covered in gunk. Among them were Jeralt and his daughter looking desperately for something despite looking much worse than the other victims.
Rhea didn't see much else. Something came out of nowhere and knocked her off her feet.
"Rhea!" Seteth cried out in alarm.
The archbishop was alarmed and taken by surprise. A second later, she felt something wet and sweet on her cheek with something standing atop of her. She realized it was the Eisner family wolf that tackled her to the ground and was now licking her face repeatedly.
Rhea couldn't help but give off a laugh even as Seteth rushed in to pick up the wolf off her.
"What is wrong with this creature!?" The man asked as he struggled to keep the wolf from squirming in his grip. Rhea, are you alright!?"
"Seteth, I'm fine." She was feeling more than fine. She always had this sense of distance from many people, even including Seteth. Having an animal show affection by happily licking her felt like somewhat of a relief after being starved of expressing other emotions.
At that moment, Seteth focused his attention on wrangling the wolf in his arms because Remus started coughing like a cat trying to spit out a hairball.
It wasn't a hairball that fell into Rhea's face.
Silence and many unhinged jaws were the reactions to what people had just witnessed.
Dimitri was the first to find his words again. "Claude, if Edelgard or I don't kill you, Seteth will."
"In light of recent events," Rhea paused before saying those last two words. "With regret, sweet Remus is banned from setting paw in the mess hall henceforth."
"That's bullshit! I barely even remember what happened!" Archie tried to defend himself. But instead of his voice, all that came out was a sad whine.
Seteth coughed into his hand with more force than an actual cough. "I would rather we get rid of him altogether," No one missed the glare he gave to Remus. "But considering how this has all been one elaborate accident," The green-haired man sighed deeply. "And that no one was injured too badly, we'll leave it at that."
"But let us not stray too far from the topic." Rhea looked to Byleth. "That little event has shown me how much of an impact you've made on the students here. You have the first choice in which house you will instruct. However, even though you will choose one house, it does not mean you can't teach the other two houses."
Byleth, Remus, and even Manuela and Hanneman looked surprised by this.
"This year, I have decided that the professors will cycle and take turns teaching all three houses during the weeks," Rhea explained that she liked the idea of the three houses intermingling with each other. To further perpetuate peace, it was beneficial to have the houses intermingle with each other more often and build friendships with different factions. Rhea explained that she would even send all three houses on missions together this year to enforce this idea.
The three professors had their work cut out for them. Seteth suggested that they collaborate more this year. It would help them greatly in managing the work between houses and help Byleth understand how things work in the Officer's Academy.
With that out of the way, Rhea brought back attention to Byleth. "Now, even though you will teach all three houses, choose which house you would like to lead officially."
Archie looked up as Byleth started to think.
Everyone watched as Byleth removed her hand from her face and gave her answer.
"What!?" Archie thought to himself. "Out of all the houses, you choose the blood-hungry one-eyed king!? Isn't he the craziest of them all!?"
A/N: Sooo, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I thought it would be fun to have everyone make an appearance. I do like everyone from the series so just them going crazy has always been one of my favorite things to read. Also, I know the Jojo joke has been done before by funnier and better people, but I thought it would be alright for Archie to notice it by himself.
In this story, Byleth is officially the professor of the Blue Lions. I choose this because one: I have a soft spot for underdogs. I see the Blue Lions as an underdog because of the following: the popularity posts say a majority choose Black Eagles while Golden Deer have all the memes. In Pokemon Go, I choose Team Instinct and later loved my decision when I found out they were the underdogs of the three. My main character in Smash Ultimate is Little Mac, who is an underdog. You can see a pattern.
The second reason ties to the first. I just wanted to see more Blue Lion stories along with the Black Eagles and Golden Deer ones.
But don't worry! All three houses will still get their moments and I'm not focusing solely on one house. Everyone's too amazing not to write about them.
That was it; I hope this story finds you well.
Peace out.