JUST GOOD OLD CONVERSATION

"So I'll be parking cars at the wedding, B.B." Lava Volcano said as they walked surreptitiously out of the restroom at the Hale company. Hale was a great department store, and the men's john on the fifth floor was known for other assignations.

The Volcano family was known to be mobbed up, but Lava was still on parole for racketeering charges, and since his uncle was a priest at St. Stone-islaus's, Lavs had gotten respectable work-temporarily-helping out around the rectory.

Lava had actually enjoyed his time in the pen, it was like being in a candy store of muscles and swinging you-know-what. But he was glad to have been sprung, and he and Bamm-Bamm, having shared more than friendship on and off since Boy Scout camp...had enjoyed their reunion.

Bamm-Bamm grinned at Lava. "Well, Lavs, if you had gotten out a few months earlier, you could have been a groomsman."

"Yeah, but I would have been wearin' a black arm-band...in protest."

Bamm-Bamm smiled gamely. He didn't like it that his uh, bisexual buddies kept making jokes about how he shouldn't marry his beautiful red-haired princess.

On the other hand, he was the one who had called Lava to meet him here at the department store, right? That glorious olive skin...

"It'll be a great wedding, buddy." Lava said, punching Bamm-Bamm on the arm. Lava hated having to be a macho man like this, since he'd had a portion of Bamm-Bamm elsewhere just a few minutes ago.

But what they did was kid stuff. Lava's father was pressuring him to court the daughter of Vito Craglione, so the two major Families of Bedrock could be joined.

Was organized crime more important than deathless love?

LAST MINUTE WORRIES.

"Gravel, it's so nice of you to go with me to the bridal shop. Your sister and the other bridesmaids are pissed because they think my choice of dresses for them is so ugly." Pebbles said, smiling.

Gravel snorted. "Purple is kind of gross, Pebs. But it's good that you are so excited about this."

They tried not to talk about the make-out session they'd had that morning. Gravel deeply loved Pebbles, but he knew she'd be happier with Bamm-Bamm, right?

Look at how beautiful she is, how her tongue touches her full lips when she fingers the material for her dress...How Gravel envied B.B.

Pebbles stroked Gravel's arm. "You're a good friend, Grav. I'm sorry I've kind of sent you mixed messages."

Gravel smiled. How he wanted to kiss her right here, in the store. "I like the messages when I get them, Pebbles. Don't worry about it. This dress looks good, it may prop up your boobs a bit."

"All men are perverts. You are the worst. Except Bamm-Bamm. He never makes a salacious remark."

"We should all aspire to be like your fiancée, Pebbles."

"Yeah, I guess."

CELESTIAL WISDOM

It had been some time since Barney had seen Kazoo, the little man from out of space with the big helmet. But here he had showed up while Barney was putting away the lawn mower.

"Glad that's over, I'm full" muttered the little alligator that served as a grass cutter.

"What's up, Dum-Dum?" Kazoo asked as he floated over Barney's head.

"Well, Kazoo...I'm worried about my kid. He's about to get hitched and it might not be the best idea for him."

"What, to the other Dumm-Dumm's offspring? I get your drift, Kazoo sees all, but you know, marriage isn't just about bang-bang for you Dumm-Dumms, you know. It's more about going to the store, that sort of thing."

"Really?" Barney asked, puzzled.

"Well, you love your Betty, but haven't you had a bit of jumpin-jack-flash with the receptionist at your job?"

"It's a different thing, though." Barney protested.

"It's all about compartmentalizing. Not saying I agree with it, but homosexuals marrying each other is a bit into the future, and so your son will have to make choices or pretend a lot."

"The hardest part is, Fred's my best buddy, and I can't talk to him about this."

"Yes, that would be a pickle, wouldn't it?"