He knew he was far from forgiven when the little fledgling finally stepped foot in the training fields after a long week of absence and he wasn't spared a single glance, instead the little thing ran for the legs of his Captain. He pushed away the feelings of hurt that came when she grabbed onto his hand instead of his own and took hold of the feeling of guilt instead.
It replayed on his mind, as though a record skipping track back to the beginning of the verse, over and over again the aftermath of the unwarranted ranting. The look of betrayal, the tears that glistened in those bright little eyes, the fear that had soaked away the happiness, and knowing that he was the cause of such a thing on one so young, especially the one he had sworn to protect from those things with his entire being. To know he was cause broke him in more ways then one. She skirted around him now, careful of getting too close, always making sure that someone was in between them at all times and it cut him up every time she did.
His brothers knew he was remorseful, of course they did, but didn't push the fledgling either. It was better to let her figure it out then force it upon her.
Michael had made a mistake, a costly unthoughtful mistake, and had taken them back to step one all over again. Breaking everything that had been built anew again with their fledgling in one foul swoop.
His thoughts clouded over him as he walked down the path towards the Heart of the Garden, mulling over the disaster over and over again, it never left his thoughts. If there was any chance to make it up to her he would take it, any semblance of an opportunity to get close, he would jump on it in a heartbeat.
The soft chattering in the middle of the clearing he was aiming for caught his attention, pulling him from his saddened thoughts, it was a voice he recognized and was not one he had heard since that fateful afternoon when he unleashed his foul temper on one so young.
Akeelah sat alone, in the middle of a patch of wildflowers, bending and weaving stems into the form of a crown. She was humming to herself as she did, clearly immersed in what she was doing, and he almost lost nerve and turned back lest he disturb her and cause her to skirt away again.
"I know you're there.", her tone was soft and cautious, but she didn't look up to meet his eyes as she usually did, "You can come in. The garden is for everyone to enjoy."
He stepped into the clearing, nearing the little patch of wildflowers slowly "Akeelah, if I could find the words to apologize I would. I am truly sorry for how I reacted to you."
"I didn't do anything." It was more then she had said to him all week and he took it as his present opportunity, slipping into the patch of flowers she sat in, sitting before her and crossing his own legs as he sat "All I did was ask you a question."
"I know you did, little one. I am so sorry."
She looked up at him, her eyes still cautious, as though waiting for him to start shouting again and it pained his heart to know that it as a valid fear for her to have at this time.
"You were scary. You just kept yelling and yelling, and then you started balling your fists, and I was sure you were gonna hit me."
"Never." He shook his head vehemently "I would never strike you. Never."
"But you thought about it, or, why else would you ball your fists up like that."
It was regretful, but in his moment of red hazed rage, he had thought of striking out at her. It wasn't aimed at her of course, merely as a means to get his anger out in a physical sense, but it had been directed at the fledgling of his heart instead of a training dummy that he usually used in those instances.
He hated to admit it, but he had thought of striking the fledgling.
She set her half-made flower crown down, folding her hands in her lap tenderly, staring up at him with carefully contained eyes. Not daring to let too much be seen, as it was a means for someone to find a weakness in you, and she was too smart for that.
"I forgive you because it's the right thing to do." He was about to thank her as his heart filled with hope, until she stood from her place, dusting off the bottom of her robes "But I can't forget it. I don't think we should be together anymore. I won't leave the others like that. But I refuse to let myself be hurt again. And that's what you did." She stepped back a step and he felt something in him break with every little step "It was like the fighting all over again. When you found us coming together in secret. When you hit Jeremiah. I won't let that happen again. I can't." she shook her head as tears glistened in her eyes "I can't."