A/N: Hey all, sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. I've fallen behind on my writing and have lost some motivation, but rest assured, I have the next two chapters written and just in need of revising before being posted. See you again in two weeks!
Chapter Three
Lance had just exited Blue to see Coran waiting for him at the end of the hangar. The teen did not want to see anyone from his team, not the Paladins and definitely not the Alteans. He just wanted to be alone and hide somewhere in the castle, like in his room or in a place where no one could find him. Most of the time he enjoyed the company of others. Being around people always made him feel happy and full of energy, like he could do anything. Especially when people smiled around him, it was the best feeling next to flying and fighting of course.
"Quite the scare you gave us," Coran said with a grin, "Now I know I'm not someone you want to see now, but I wanted to say something."
Lance stayed in his spot at the end of Blue's ramp, he would have rathered walk away and not listen, but that would be rude. Besides, he knew Coran only wanted to help. Lance dipped his head slightly, a sign for the Altean to continue with whatever he wanted to say. The teen wasn't in the mood for talking. He didn't trust himself to speak, not to mention his throat was burning from the yelling he had done to Blue. Screaming about how angry and afraid he was. She was a good listener after all, she let him vent the entire time until he was calm.
Coran offered him a small smile, "You are experiencing a lot of emotions now, we won't expect you to be seen around this evening. However later on, I ask that you come to the planetarium. Allura and I will be there, we want to talk to you… you may not remember us, but we remember Casimir, we remember you."
Lance looked away at the use of the other name, he knew he wasn't going to get used to it anytime soon. He preferred to stay Lance, earth boy, designated class clown, shameless flirt and Cuban. It was who he was, not some alien prince.
"I watched King Alfor take you away all those years ago during the attack," said Coran sadly, "I ask that you don't run away from Allura and I. For us and for you, come to the planetarium tonight. There's much to talk about."
Lance looked at Coran and said hoarsely, "I don't want to know anything. I'm sorry Coran, but I'm not Casimir. Regardless of what your scan says, whoever he was, died."
"Not true, as long as you breathe, Casimir is alive," Coran said a bit earnest.
"I don't remember anything," Lance said.
Coran replied, "So let us show you the memories, maybe not today as it's been chaos for everyone, but eventually. Let us try to get those memories back."
Lance answered with an annoyed look, "I don't want them. Everything I've ever known is a lie…"
"No Lance, you're beginning may not be what you thought, but your life on earth, the family you have is still yours regardless of the blood or not," said Coran, "You have your family, we know this, but we hope you will one day let us be apart of it."
Lance said nothing. He didn't want the memories back, he wanted to forget this entire day, to pretend that this didn't happen. The teen nearly said as much to Coran, but he decided against it. Instead he walked away from the Altean and went off to hide.
Coran released a sigh. He hoped maybe he could convince Lance to come to the planetarium as it was Casimir's favorite place in the castle and it would give Allura a chance to speak with him. There was much to be said, but even Coran was uncertain if what else they could discuss. If Lance did not want to know of the past, of what happened, or Altea, then what could be said other than the fact that Allura missed him and loved him. Coran sighed. The other Paladins would be back soon enough with questions and concerns about Lance. Coran decided he better head upstairs so the princess wouldn't have to deal with them on her own.
Dinner was quiet that night, the empty seat left a bad taste for the others. Lance hadn't been seen by the Paladins and Allura since he took off running. The Paladins knew he was here because they saw the Blue Lion and Coran said he spoke to the missing Paladin. Coran didn't tell them what they talked about, only that Lance just needed more time and most likely would not make an appearance at dinner, which was served hardly fifteen minutes after the Paladins arrived.
Keith had been angered by Lance not even bothering to come down, he figured after Lance had spent hours hiding and running that would be enough time to cool off. The red Paladin wanted to go and find Lance, but Shiro kept him at bay. Lance would come when he was ready. None of them had experience with Lance when he was like this, it was important that they wait to see what he does.
"I can't take this," Pidge said suddenly, "Someone should go see him. He was gone all day and now he hasn't come out of hiding place to see us."
"We need to wait for him to come to us, we don't want to pressure him," Shiro said knowingly.
Hunk frowned, "Shouldn't we at least check on him, make sure he's doing alright. Maybe bring him some food, he might be hungry, I know I'd be hungry after not eating all that time. Heck I'm hungry thinking about it."
"They're right, we can't just sit around while he's hiding out," Keith said, "Come on Shiro, we've waited long enough. It's time we go to him."
Shiro thought about it for a moment. Though he wasn't exactly sure, he knew that Lance had been hidden away for too long. It was unlike the Blue Paladin to hide from something, he usually was willing to go against whatever was coming his way. Sometimes he could be hesitant about it, but he would still try. Shiro glanced at Coran and Allura, a silent question. Coran answered with the briefest of nods, a signal to go ahead and find him. He shouldn't be alone any longer.
"Very well," Shiro said, "The three of you can start looking around, I'll join you in a moment."
"You can save your time if you start over here," said the one in question.
The Paladins and Alteans looked at Lance in surprise. He was leaning against the door frame wearing his usual attire, arms folded over his chest and a soft smile on his face. If they didn't know any better, they wouldn't have been able to tell that the shattering news had been revealed hours before. That he had a near mental break down.
"Lance," Pidge shouted, "We've been worried about you. Are you feeling better?"
Lance's gaze flickered to Coran and Allura, he met their stares for the briefest of moments. It passed so quickly neither Allura or Coran were certain that they he made eye contact at all.
"I'm doing alright, sorry for the scare, but hey," Lance said with a grin and shrug as he walked over, "Proved you guys would miss me."
Keith rolled his eyes, "Unfortunately."
Lance smirked at him.
Shiro spoke next, "Glad you feel well enough to join us. Are you hungry?"
"I made you a plate," added Hunk grinning.
Lance hesitated, "I could use a bite."
He wasn't in the mood to eat, he hadn't wanted to come down here at all. However he knew that he couldn't hide from them forever, it was better he bite the bullet now. Neither Coran or Allura said anything to Lance at first, both were unsure what to say. Allura couldn't trust herself not slip up on his name. While she still saw him as Lance, she also saw him as Casimir.
She could practically see all of Casimir's features in Lance now. The nose, the clear eyes, mischievous smile. It was all staring back at her and she never noticed, she never saw it. Either because the idea was preposterous before or because she didn't want to see it. When Allura had first met the Paladins, she thought Lance looked familiar. She replayed the brief conversation in her mind.
It's the funniest thing, I swear you look like someone I know. Lance shrugged, I get that a lot. I hear I just have one of those faces. One of those faces, Allura thought.
She looked at Lance, he was talking animatedly to the others, but for some reason she thought it looked forced. As though he were pretending. She supposed that made sense. When he came down, he didn't look all the way right. He must have still been shaken from the news, more so than he would admit. Not to mention she could feel him radiating confusion and unease. Lance could practically feel Allura's gaze on him as if she had laser eyes and was burning holes through him. Of course he made it seem like he didn't notice, but her gaze and presence were the ones that stood out to him like a beacon of light.
Sister. He already had sisters back home and two brothers. Knowing he had a another sister was strange, especially since this sister was an alien princess. Well he was now an alien or half alien since Coran said he had chromothings from his parents on earth. Parents… he thought of his Mamita and Papa. Their smiling faces, humorous nature's. He missed them and would look at his necklace as a reminder of them, as if they were closer than wormholes away.
Then he thought of the image of King Alfor, Allura's father. A king was his birth father. The man had the same skin as Allura and hair, but their eyes were different. Lance briefly wondered if the Kings eyes were like his own. He hadn't seen any pictures of the queen, but suddenly he felt the desire to find a picture. He glanced at Allura, he figured the queen would look exactly like her if not very similar.
Lance tried to keep his shoulders from slumping, but it was difficult. He felt like the gravity in the castle was working overtime on him, trying to pull him down. He had spent too much time alone and in his own thoughts, so many terrible scenarios had played through his mind. No doubt he would be dealing with nightmares later on. Once dinner had ended, Pidge and Hunk left to their own devices, per Shiro's not so subtle way of getting them out of the room.
Shiro followed their lead shortly after to rest, exhaustion pulling at him more than the others. Only the Alteans and Keith remained. Keith didn't want to leave Lance alone just yet. Out of everyone, he was the most unsure of how to help Lance through this, but he knew he wanted to. Though Lance got on his nerves more often than not, that didn't mean he wanted Lance to face this alone. Thy were teammates after all.
When Lance left the room, Keith followed.
"Hey you got a sec," Keith said coming up behind Lance.
The Cuban/ Altean teen looked back at Keith, his face slightly shaded, "Uh sure. What do you want?"
"To see how you're holding up, running off when angry is my thing," Keith said, a ghost smile on his face.
If Lance was surprised by the quip, he didn't show it. On any other day when Keith made a joke or a funny remark of any kind, Lance would always Act surprised. Shocked that the emo of the group could do anything more than brood.
Lance shrugged, "Guess I've taken notes from your book."
Keith pressed, "Did it help you? Running off?"
"Somewhat," Lance said vaguely, "Though probably won't do it again."
Keith replied with a shrug of his own, "Not for everyone. But are you okay?"
Lance didn't answer right away, he turned and said, "Okay enough. See you later Keith."
Keith watched Lance go wordlessly. Part of home wanted to follow him, but he decided it was better to leave Lance be. The blue Paladin would come around.
That night
Lance had planned to simply go to bed, but he couldn't' stop thinking about what Coran has said. He really didn't want to go to see them, but at the same time, he wanted to. Part of him was desperate to know where he really came from, to see his beginning. The other part wanted to be denial and pretend it wasn't real. Lance knew it was useless to think that way though, nothing would change this. He could either fight it or embrace it. It would be a dead end fight. He looked at his door,
"Come on Lance. Just, just go."
He sat up in bed, his hair brushing against his forehead in the draft. Images of his sisters and brother flashed across his mind, their smiling faces.
He swallowed thickly, "I'm sorry."
Planetarium
"I don't think he's going to come Coran," Allura said taking a sip of tea.
Coran glanced at her as he fixed a cup of his own, "We've hardly been here long. The tea only just became cool enough to drink."
Allura looked at the door dejectedly, he was right. The two had barely been in the room ten minutes and already Allura wasn't sure he would come. And in all honesty, she couldn't blame him. As a friend they knew each other, but as siblings they might as well be strangers. The only thing that gave Allura hope was the fact that their bond was still in tact. It was fragile, but it was there just the same and could built on. It just needed to be used more.
Through the slight connection, Allura could practically feel Lance's anxiety and sorrow. It was eating away at him and she had no way to help. She would have tried to send him calming waves, but last time she tried, he had tried to block her. His attempt was unsuccessful, but Allura could tell what he was trying to do and stopped on her own.
Allura sighed, she looked up at Coran who had taken a seat beside her on the floor. The planetarium had been made when Allura was born. It was a place for the royal family to spend time together simply looking at the universe around them. Casimir loved this place, he would always come here when he was down or just wanted to look at the planets. The windows were all made of lens, all they had to do was pick a sector and that lens would show them the area. Of course the best feature was bringing the image in front of them as holograms. Almost like having the universe in front of them.
"What do I even say to him Coran," Allura said nervously, "How am I supposed to talk to him?"
"Like he's Lance," Coran answered simply.
Allura raised an eyebrow, "Is that the best way to go about it?"
Coran nodded, "It's already unfamiliar for Lance, we should at least try to treat him the same as much as possible. Think of this like we're telling him about our story, not his."
Allura took a breath, "Alright. I'll do that. Where do you think we should start?"
"The day you lost me."
Allura jumped at the new voice, she turned around to see Lance standing in the doorway. His body language screamed that he didn't want to come in and it caused new fears to rise in the princess. However they were momentarily forgotten at the sight of him. He actually came! He was really here.
"Hello Lance," Coran greeted grinning, "Come on in. Want some tea?"
Lance shook his head as he made his way over, "No thanks."
Lance could hardly stand the smell let alone taste. Dinner had already been a pain. His appetite was ruined by his increasing anxiety. He 'felt' calming emotions come to him earlier, but he forced them away or at least he tried. They weren't his, they were hers. He didn't appreciate her trying to get in his head or whatever. It was too much for him to handle or process. However he knew she was just trying to help. If the situation was crushing for him, it was even worse for her. After all she discovers her brother is alive, but had no memory of her. She had him so close by, but even further away.
"We're glad you could make it," Coran said as the teen took a seat, "May I ask, what changed your mind? I know you didn't want to come."
Lance answered, albeit sadly, "It's true. I know that I can't deny it, but I don't embrace it. If I could remember something, maybe it would easier. If I had something else here you know? Something more than a test, maybe i'd be able to connect it… And I want to know what happened to Cas- me."
Allura and Coran shared a look. Allura hadn't seen her brother at all during the attack, she had seen him in the morning before it all happened. Though Coran had told her what happened, she wasn't there.
"I wasn't there," Allura said, "I had seen you before, not during. Coran can answer your questions better than I could."
Lance replied, "Then start there. I want to know everything that happened that day."
Allura was surprised by that considering how distant Lance wanted to be from the situation. However she took it as a sure sign that perhaps she truly would be able to rebuild something with her brother again.
"Alright, the day started like any other."