Warning: The following content may have destressing themes...

Izaya had awoken way too fucking early for his liking, hearing an alarm loudly sounding in another room down the small hallway. And fucking great. He had a crookneck from placing his pillow in between him and the woman to his right, thanks to her clinginess. It had taken forever to get himself unattached from her! It was like she was keeping him hostage from the way she rested her right leg on his and gently brushed up against his ticklish feet with her foot. All while she clung to his chest and made herself comfortable, digging her nose into the sensitive skin of his neck. He instantly damned the weird thought of 'if Jane-chan was a vampire, and awake, would she want to feast upon my neck?'

But when the woman had intertwined their fingers, Izaya couldn't do it anymore. He knew he was only in his twenties and that dying of a heart attack was highly unlikely, however, whatever rational thoughts he had left were overthrown at that moment. Not that he'd ever admit it.

The raven had no choice but to, ever-so fucking slowly, give Jane his pillow. His pillow! Fricking pillow thief! Oh! Oh! And let's not forget how much his back ached from this shitty mattress! … Okay, well, the pain wasn't that bad but it was there! Alright!

With his eyes still closed he groaned in annoyance. It was as if the ringing alarm had heard him, turning itself off ready to sound again in ten minutes or so. Why did the woman even have it set so fucking early? Izaya admittedly had no idea to what the time exactly was but he knew before dawn was ridiculously early; he could tell it was still dark through his eyelids.

He could assume that Jane-chan was on morning shift again for the café. What was that place called again? Kohi-Kabe? Yeah, that had to be it. But the mangers schedule for the week said Mae-chan would be on afternoons, then again she wasn't yesterday. Oh well. It didn't matter anyway. Not when Jane didn't even flinch at the sound that had started ringing out yet again. Izaya finally opened his eyes, only just making out his surroundings. The brunette just kept on silently snoozing while her phone in the other room yelled out to her. Apparently, his efforts and suffering had been for naught since the irksome woman wasn't even cuddling up to his pillow separating them. Perhaps the pillow didn't suffice anymore now that she knew what it was like to snuggle with a huma- Ahem! … warm body.

Izaya had a few options but none of them appealed to the male at all. Either, get up and turn off the alarm himself, waking Jane in the process. Or purposefully wake up Jane-chan and risk having to converse with her. Take his pillow back, throwing it over his head and ignoring the irritating constants, also resulting in waking Jane. Or just straight-up leave. The raven could do that last one but… it was so early~ He didn't feel like walking for an hour. He didn't even want to walk down the hallway to Jane's room.

Before Izaya knew it, the alarm had gone off five times and sunlight streamed in through a slit in between the beige curtains. The line of light glided up and up until the raven noticed it upon himself and… her. For a moment, Izaya imagined it some type of string that was tying him and the unknown woman together. But that was ridiculous. He didn't believe in such illogical idiocy like 'fate' or 'destiny.' That was all bullshit. The idea of it only exists for humans to feel about themselves. It was actually quite interesting how they allowed themselves to believe in beautiful lies and needed pretenses. Did Jane believe in that stuff? Izaya would have to ask her later.

But she still needed to wake up. Fuck it, the second option it was, "Jane-chan~" his coo came out more like a croaky whine. When the woman didn't stir he tried again a little louder, "Jane-chan." The male waited for a reply, but there was nothing, only silence. Being ignored was irritating him more than it usually would… Was it because it was Jane doing the ignoring?

What a silly thought. She was asleep. Of course, she wouldn't respond to him. But even so, she was still going to pay! Muhahaha! Propping his chin up on his palms, elbows digging into the mattress, he gave a long hum. What should he do? A wet-willy was a teensy bit childish but it did sound quite hilarious however, not far enough.

The male had given quite some thought but maybe what he was planning was a little too… weird. Oh well! It would get her attention that was for sure. Izaya giggled moving closer and closer to the woman's ear until his grinning lips were only an inch away. Hopefully, she wouldn't stab him… Oh well! At that he poked out his tongue licking the woman's ear. He received the jolt he was expecting, as well as a knife to his throat. However, when she snapped her chin toward him instead of the woman's icy glare, wide eyes and a hint of a blush fell upon her features.

"What are you doing?" Despite her expression, the woman's voice was low, dangerous.

Izaya felt the cold metal pressing hard against his neck's skin. Although, warm liquid never dripped or trickled down to his chest. Was she holding the blunt side to him? Naww~ "Waking you up," he whispered, still taking in that color upon her cheeks. "Why are you blushing, Jane-chan?" the male teased, that mother-fucking smirk on his lips as he gazed down to the woman beneath him. But instead of spitting back acid words or denying deeply, Jane filled her lungs with air; slowly letting it free.

What the fuck made him think this was okay? Where in the hell did he get this daunting and highly fucking disturbing idea! "Izaya. Off… Now." Her command was quiet but the tone was hard as stone. Yet somehow, all Izaya could hear was a fragile shaking voice.

It only took a second for the male leaning over Jane to figure out what she was thinking. Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe this way she wouldn't be so comfortable with him. Maybe… with this… her goal of 'climbing his walls' would die. That was a good thing… wasn't it? After all, whatever this relation was, it wasn't a 'good thing'. It was dangerous in many ways, really. So far, Jane Doe's kill-count was eighty-six humans; and Izaya had only roughly completed a little more than two years of info. Mostly, two victims per month; sometimes, three even four. Rarely one. But never zero. At least, not until 'Maemi Shimizu'. Why did he have to keep reminding himself about that? Why did it not feel real?

Oh yeah. That's right. "You're holding the blade the wrong way, silly," Izaya mentioned before pushing himself off Jane Doe and flopping down again on his back, staring up at the ceiling. It was so low compared to his apartment.

Jane sat up wrapping part of the blanket around herself, "You knew?" she asked flatly staring at the blade in her hand.

"Well, from how forcefully you were pressing it to my sensitive skin," the male exaggeratedly exclaimed in mock-fatigue before continuing, "It should have at least made a minor incision," he told her.

Flicking back the knife and putting it away, she spat, "Minor? Remember that you're used to cutting Shizuo's thick skin not oh-so-delicate you," she rolled her eyes obviously not in the mood for his teasing. But at that comment, Izaya fell silent. His eyes stared still upon the ceiling. Not blinking, not moving at all. He was utterly stiff. Just that practiced upturn on his lips. It was uncharacteristically hollow. However, she had seen this before… Why was he hurt? How did that comment upset him?

"Izaya?" the brunette called. He airily hummed in response still unseeingly pointing his gaze upward. Jane opened her mouth to speak yet all that came from her were little gasps and shaky breaths. He didn't. He couldn't have. That wasn't like him. But then ideas and speculations found their way into her brain. Was that the reason he always wore that jacket or the three-quarter-sleeved shirt under it – even on the hottest days of summer? The shirt was probably just enough covered them. That's why she wore long-sleeves after all. And Izaya didn't care about pain. If he was struck by Shizuo, he'd get up and pretend it either didn't happen or he didn't feel it, exclaiming merely an 'Ouch' even though blood dripped down his chin. He practically greeted pain as if it was an old friend. Did that suggest he was used to it?

An alarm sounded, breaking Jane from her thoughts. She snapped her head in the direction of the siren. Shit. Work, the café. Her shift. Shit!

"Oh yeah," the male said gaining her attention. "That alarm's been going off for like… an hour now," he mentioned vaguely, his eyes finally looking her way. And even though she probably only had five minutes to get ready without being late, Jane couldn't look away. In fact, she found herself lying back down and sliding over closer to him when, for the first time, she noticed the pillow between him and her. Gold flickered down then back up to where Izaya's unsupported neck was. "Did you put this here?" she asked, though it was rather evident he had. Izaya gave a simple nod then went on desperately complaining how sore his neck and back were. And how much it wasn't worth it. But nevertheless, his action wasn't going to be so easily thrown over board. However, the creepy ear licking wasn't forgotten either… just kept in mind for later.

Jane tugged the pillow out from under the blankets and silently offered it back to him. Izaya hesitated to take it. Was she going jump him and expose his sc- Was he being paranoid? She couldn't know just from that little slip-up… right? But say if she did suspect him, it's not like she could talk. There was no doubt the woman had scratched and sliced her own skin more than he ever had. It was… just one. The male never made a habit of it. Of course, he didn't… wouldn't. In fact, he hadn't even thought of it in a very, very, very long time.

Making sure to take the cushion with his right hand, perhaps grasping it too tightly, he was proven to be paranoid. Jane hadn't forced up his sleeve or pinned him in some way. Izaya then placed the pillow comfortably under his crookneck, humming in somewhat satisfaction.

"Is that better?" she whispered. The tenderness in her voice unsettled the male. Jane-chan was biting her lip again, worry easily distinguishable on her features. "I can massage your neck if you like," she offered already sitting up to do so.

"That won't be necessary," Izaya denied keeping up his causal tone even in this situation. The worry the woman felt had nothing to do with his neck. She knew. She fucking knew. He wasn't being paranoid this time, he could tell. "You need to get to work, Jane-chan. You'll be late~" he sang warningly. But Jane didn't leave. Instead, the raven felt fingers grazing against his hand. It didn't matter that it was his unscarred right, it took a great deal of self-control to not flinch away. Even though the raven successfully accomplished in removing his hand from her wanting hold… it most likely only gave her assurance of what he was capable of.

Pulling back her fingertips, Jane slowly responded, "I'm gonna call in sick." She shifted the covers trying to get out of the tangled mess.

"You're what?" Izaya inquired. "Naww~ is poor Jane-chan feeling under the weather?" Izaya teased knowing that this wasn't the case. Now with her back to him, the woman glanced his way, her loose cotton sweater falling off her shoulder. He saw a few scars on her back, obviously not created by her. It looked to be from a whip striking her hard. However, the male noticed… there was no bra strap. He really didn't know which was more… bothersome? Why would either of them be 'bothersome'? She quickly fixed the clothing only nodding slightly to his words. He chuckled lightly, "No, you're not."

"Too bad," she said simply shrugging her shoulders. If the brunette wasn't still holding her shirt in place it would have fallen again.

Izaya was unable to hold his tongue, "Jane-chan, you really need to buy clothes that actually fit you. I get that you don't want to go around showing off your physique but purchasing clothes four times bigger than you isn't something anyone should do! And it's not like it's helping," he rambled. "I mean, come on," the male exaggerated rolling his whole head with his eyes. "Why don't you just buy clothes that are styled to be baggy! Not those cheap crappy shirts in the men's section."

"I don't go to the men's sec-

"Well, it looks like you do," he pointed out. "Anyhow, you-

"Enough!" she stopped him. "Okay… I get that you want to change the subject but this is ridiculous," she paused. Knowing Izaya would be uncomfortable if she faced him directly, she dragged her gaze elsewhere. "We don't need to say anything about it," Jane told him. "You don't need to confirm or deny, and you definitely don't need to show me. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about then that's okay. More than 'okay'. But… If you do know, then," the woman struggled, fidgeting with a corner of the bedspread in her lap. "Then you'll understand why I'm going to tell you this." Jane deeply inhaled before continuing. "It's somehow… relieving in a way. In a terrible way, of course… I'm not really one to do drugs but I guess, that's what people compare it to. 'A vise'. But it's so much more than that. I'm not addicted. It's not a habit. It's just an outlet. I don't want to die. That's not why I-" Jane clicked her tongue. "… I going to say 'did' but that would probably be a lie. So… 'do'. That's not why I do it," she finished. "For some reason, it's a release. A release of everything. You're sad and you're angry. You tell yourself to hold it in until you're alone. Hold it in. Hold it in! And when you're finally alone, you tell yourself to explode. But when you go to cry you can't. And when you go to scream it doesn't come out. The feelings that you caged, you don't know how to unlock them. Then you're choking, you can't breathe. Your mind is foggy, and you don't give a shit anything! You don't, you can't think about what happens later. You're just thinking about now. Cutting is easy. Cutting releases the cage. It feels like it's the only key. It lets you feel everything and yet… nothing at the same time."

Jane, still sitting on the edge of the bed gripped at the sheets hearing the alarm go off again. Oh, wait, no. It was her ringtone. It was probably her boss calling. Fuck it. "Does that make sense?" the brunette threw her head back to Izaya who was watching and listening silently. Jane couldn't decide whether she liked his usual pretend grin or the genuine sag in his lips he was giving her now. But his eyes were the same; that almost unchanging stiffness.

Izaya mused a hum, "I guess, but… you're telling me this because…?" the male blinked 'cluelessly'.

And that confirmed it. He understood what her experiences were like… not that all of them were the same. The first time, she did it to make herself undesirable. Later, she began to do it to escape the numbness and sometimes it was the other way around, to be numb. Or as a way to remember a day of importance… or maybe some days, she believed she deserved punishment. And she'd even fucking do it 'just because' or 'why the fuck not'.

Izaya probably only related to bits and pieces. Everyone was different, after all.

But what the fuck was she doing! The brunette was supposed to give the garnet-eyed male a reason not to do it! Not the other way around! The woman kicked herself before taking another deep breath, "Umm… I-I'm still getting to my point," Jane exhaled.

It wasn't long before the male spluttered into a chuckle; his feigned curl decorating his otherwise neutral expression… Jane resolved on his genuine face. It wasn't that he looked unappealing with a smile; it would just be better if it was sincere. She had seen it on a few occasions, but they never really lasted long. It was as if he caged even the positive emotions. "Are you planning on telling me that there is another 'key' or something?" Izaya playfully teased after finishing his hysterics that were toned-down compared to his others.

"To be completely honest… I haven't found one," she admitted grimly. "I'm just under the impression that you do- … Or at least, did it." Jane made sure to keep her words up in the air as if they were merely ideas instead of pure hard fact. "And I wanted you to know that I know what it's like. I may not have done it in a long time but… I remember."

"Hmm~ How long's it been?" he asked almost in song.

He really couldn't be serious for more than ten bloody seconds. "A little more than seven months," she told with a hint of pride in her voice. "I'm doing rather well, I'd say." The woman stood up and stretched out her muscles. Maybe… it was better not to be so serious. "I better tell the boss I'm not coming in…" she yawned out, even though Jane knew she'd get an ear full from Mae- her boss. She'd just have to pretend she had a sore throat and sneeze a lot. Time to sniff some grounded pepper.

Izaya watched the brunette shuffle to the kitchen then quickly make her way to her phone that was ringing yet again.

… More than seven months… That was considered 'good'? Well if that was the case, he was going fucking great! It had been a year from him. But Izaya didn't want to think about that anymore. 'It's just a teensy bit depressing~' he sang in his head as he hummed the random tune aloud. And plus there were more pressing matters! Jane-chan was taking the day because of him. Damn it. He shouldn't have woken her up. The male should've slipped out the window or something. Or maybe… he could just do that now. Jane was busy on the phone so-

"Yes!" Jane cheered in a nasally tone, sneezing then rubbing her flushed nose, "Thank you, pepper," the woman mumbled her thanks half-heartedly. "No work for today or tomorrow!" she explained at the raven's gaze.

Well, looks like that plan was doomed from the start… "My! How slothful of you, Jane-chan!" Izaya teased.

Raising an eyebrow, Jane rolled her eyes and went to stand over him. "You have the nerve to call me slothful while you're still in bed?" she asked sardonically.

Flipping on his stomach, "Well, I'm still tired, thanks to a certain woman. Say, you wouldn't happen to know who she is?" the male cooed tilting his head. But the moment he did, the ache in his neck intensified, "Ah-" He plopped his head back on the pillow and massaged the sharp pain. "Ouchy~" he complained pouting exaggeratedly giving a "Humph!" Hearing a short giggle he lifted his eyes to her golden. They certainly glowed brighter with a smile… Fuck. Yet another weird thought he'd have to shove to the back of his brain. He closed his eyes as if this would somehow help.

"You sure you don't want a massage?" Jane-chan questioned. The raven hummed trying to decide before simply shrugging as he accepted mildly. "Okay!" she clapped and rubbed her hands together thinking what the best and most comfortable position, for the both of them, would be. Jane paced her way to the dining table and pinched a chair leaving the only other looking lonely. She carried it over to the foot of the recliner and placed it down as if the mattress was a low desk.

Finding himself locking his gaze on the woman again, Izaya noticed she was wearing it different top. It wasn't fitting a lot of course, but at least the shoulder seams were in the correct place. The cozy-looking hoodie was a purplish-maroon that complimented her eyes, though Izaya doubted she knew that. Jane probably only brought it because it was dark.

The female snatched her pillow and set it down in front of the chair, patting it invitingly. Izaya gave his little smirk before following her unsaid instructions. "Oh wait! Lotion!" The brunette darted somewhere off in the hallway leaving the raven staring up at the ceiling; then came back with a white and bronze bottle. Taking her seat, she squeezed some cream into her palm and rubbed her hands together. The smell of cocoa butter sweetened the air. The woman rather enjoyed the scent so she often purchased products with that specific perfume. Though, she was never really able to smell it on herself. Maybe she was just too used to it.

Luckily Izaya's shirt was a stretchable material so she could simply slip her hands under without too much difficulty. But, to be honest, Izaya hadn't imagined this. In his head, the massage was going to be a quick rub over the safet- the comfort of his shirt. However, once her warm hands glided upon his skin he found himself questioning why he wanted something so distance and shallow. Wait… What?

But before he could start arguing with himself, Jane had pressed down way too hard. "Ah- Oww~" the male complained, "Not so rough, Jane-chan~"

"Oh! Sorry," she quickly softened her technique. But giggled having a thought, knowing these words were extremely inappropriate but… too bad. "Sooo…" she cooed promptly, "You like it gentle? How unexpected!" she whispered, admittedly tempted to say it in his ear though that would be going too far. Izaya gave a small quirk in his eyebrow, but as he came to understand the dirty joke it disappeared as a smile crept up and a chuckle escaped his lips… 'That's better,' the brunette inwardly sighed.

Still rubbing his neck the woman came into Izaya's view being upside-down to him; it probably wasn't the most flattering angle since he'd be able to see up her nose if she looked straight ahead. But she didn't, it seemed as though she'd rather keep her eyes on him… again giving him all this attention. "I'll get greedy if you keep doing that, Jane-chan," he whispered though it wasn't even audible to his ears. Good. That meant she didn't hear it either-

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Shit. "Oh, nothing. It's just you're gentle massages are soo~ good~" he told her as a cover-up, it was true though.

She laughed, "Oh, I see," Jane said, making the raven worry he hadn't been believable enough. "You want me to do your back as well, right?" she said seeming to have no problem with it.

Izaya giggled. Well, now that she mentioned it, "Yes please!" he cheered.

"Manners? Who are you?" Jane said ironically, laughing.

"I'm not socially inept, Jane-chan. I just choose to be… a wee bit… different."

The unknown woman scrunched up her face in thought, "Izaya, there are many ways to describe you but 'a wee bit different' doesn't do you justice," she resolved shaking her head but smiling all the while. "Come on. Flip over so I can do your back." He did as he was told. "Can… Can I lift up your shirt a bit?" she gingerly asked.

"My! How bold~" The raven giggled, hearing the woman chuckle. What was with the dirty jokes, anyway? Wasn't it kind of… like flirting? Well, that thought made him uncomfortable… That just proved it wasn't flirting! Yeah! Just… having a laugh after something pretty darn gloomy. That's all…

Author here! Umm... You can disagree with this opinion of mine about Izaya. However, I will expand on it in the future to convince you! And before anyone asks. No, I do not use Jane's key, however, I do personally know two people who have. That's all I'll say about it.

Anyway! How are you liking the longer chapters every two weeks or so? Or do you prefer the shorter chapters every week? If you'd like to, let me know in a review!