"Hey. I have something I want you to carry."
Lina's eyebrows went up, but she kept on kneading as if nothing had been said. Joe didn't blame her — he'd been a little abrupt. He'd been bulking up his arguments, gettin' ready for a fight, the whole ride in, and that didn't tend to leave much room for subtlety.
Not, Joe admitted, that he usually bothered too much with subtle.
Her eyebrows climbed higher. "Well?"
Joe shook himself. "Sorry, I …" He grumbled beneath his breath, squared his shoulders, and set the little derringer on the counter between them. Lina's mouth fell open. Joe pushed on. "I know you're safe from your brothers-in-law now," and if you'd told me sooner, you'd maybe have been safe way before last week, he didn't add, "but this is Virginia City. Anything can happen, and it's better to be prepared."
She was already shaking her head. "Joe …"
"Look," Joe cut her off. "Lots of woman carry these for protection. If you'd had it last week-"
"I had the rifle last week."
"But if you'd had this," Joe pressed, "you wouldn't have had to just hope that when they finally came, you'd be in grabbin' distance of a firearm." It still gave him chills, thinking what could have happened. "You'd have known you had this." And I'd have known you had it.
He had argued with Alice about this - oh, they had fought. He had insisted, and his wife had refused, and nothing he had said or done could budge her. It had been one of the few battles in an otherwise peaceful marriage.
To this day he wondered …
No. It would tear him apart to go back there again.
But he would win this time.
"Look, this was my mama's, and it's not doing any good just laying there in a drawer. I'd rather have you-"
"Your mother's?" Lina's eyes widened, and she shook her head again. "Oh, but Joe. Your mother's …"
He shrugged. "If there's anything I've learned the past couple of years, it's that people are more important than things." Lina's gaze softened, just a bit, and Joe pressed his advantage. He wasn't above guilting her into this. "And I don't want to have to worry that I haven't done everything I can for the people I care about. I've lost too much for that."
Lina pursed her lips. She knew his ploy - he wasn't fooling anybody here - but even so she was weakening.
"If you want, call it a loan." Joe flashed his most charming grin. Lina rolled her eyes. "You hang onto it unless you decide to leave town. If that happens, you can give it back." He faltered then, the idea never having really occurred to him. Now that it had surfaced, he fiercely disliked it. "You're not plannin' on leaving town, are you?"
She huffed softly. "I am not. This is my home now." Lina hesitated, then wiped her hands on her apron and reached for the little gun. It disappeared into the folds of her skirt, and she returned to her kneading. The tension drained from Joe's body in a rush.
"Thank you."
There was no way she could mistake the sincerity and relief in his voice. Lina smiled almost shyly. "Thank you for caring, Joselito." Her grin turned impish, and her eyes sparkled. "Have some sachima. Tell me if I have yet approached Hop Sing."
Joe cackled, even as he helped himself. "Hop Sing would murder me in my sleep if I ever said anything of the kind." Her laughter rang alongside his, and he slumped into the single seat. "You know how to use it? The gun?"
Lina nodded, flipping her dough. "I do."
Somehow, he'd expected she might.
~.~.~.~.~.
Joe stepped onto the porch and took a long, deep breath of the pre-dawn air. The Mallory ranch house wasn't surrounded by trees as was the Ponderosa's, and he could see a long way across their grazing land even in the gray light. Things were still for now, but soon the animals and ranch hands both would be stirring and busy.
Everyone except the family themselves, who probably wouldn't be straying much past the yard for the next few days.
He turned his gaze away from the surrounding land, and despite the difficult night his mouth curved into a brief smile. Jamie sprawled on the nearby porch swing, head back and boots propped on the railing, emitting soft snoring sounds. Little Benny Harwood, the family's oldest child, was snuggled into Jamie's lap, deeply asleep and utterly limp. Beside them, her head resting on Jamie's bony shoulder, Lina curled within a borrowed quilt. He thought at first she was asleep too—it had been a long night—but when Joe looked again, Lina's dark eyes were upon him.
Joe stepped over and eased onto the swing, careful not to wake the boys. He stretched his arm along the back, encompassing them all—friend, brother, and child. Lina transferred her weight from Jamie to him, and it was warm. Comforting.
"Doc says Gillian will make it."
The tension fled her body. Lina wiped at her eyes. "I am so very relieved."
"Yeah, me too."
He, Jamie, and Candy had barely pulled up outside the Emporium yesterday when Lina had appeared beside their wagon. "I am glad to see you." Candy and Jamie tipped their hats. Joe jumped down beside her.
"What's wrong?"
"Gillian Harwood gave birth early. The child was stillborn, and they are afraid for her life as well."
Joe sucked in a quick breath. The Harwoods managed the Mallory ranch, bordering the Ponderosa, and were good friends. Candy and Jamie dismounted, crowding close.
"How do you know?" demanded his brother. Jamie had helped the Harwoods settle when they had first arrived from England, and the boy was still especially close with the family.
"Doctor Martin sent word. He asked if I might go to the Harwoods' home to help with cooking and the children for a few days."
Joe nodded. On top of baking for the Continental, he knew that Lina sometimes provided meals and cleaning for Doc's recovering patients. Usually, though, that was in Virginia City itself. If Paul Martin had asked Lina to take several days away from her work and travel out to one of the ranches—especially since the Harwoods already had very capable house help—it meant things weren't good there. His gut twisted.
"Hirschel give you the time off?"
"Si. And the use of the hotel wagon, along with several baskets of food." Joe wasn't surprised. John Hirschel was a good man, a real asset to the Virginia City community. "The hand who brought the note instructed me on how to reach the house, but he had to return immediately. One of their horses is down. I was going to ask the sheriff to go over the directions with me, but perhaps—"
"I'll drive you."
"Oh, no. I don't mean to take you away from—"
"I want to go too," Jamie spoke up quickly.
"It's no trouble. We know the Harwoods pretty well, I should … check in with Leslie." The man had lost his unborn baby, and might lose his wife as well. The thought left Joe cold … but it might also be that he was exactly the right person to get Harwood through this. "Besides, I don't want you drivin' out there by yourself."
Lina blinked, then smiled faintly. "Thank you."
"Joe …" Jamie pressed again, and Joe nodded.
"They've only got a couple of hands out there now, and if one of the horses is down they'll have their hands full. Make sure they've got plenty of wood cut for the house, bring water in, chores like that." Satisfied, Jamie swiftly remounted. "Let them know we're coming," Joe added. The redhead nodded, hauled Cinnamon around, and rode back toward the edge of town. Joe looked to Candy. "You should be good here—don't worry about the tack or the—"
"I got things." Candy offered his reins, but Joe shook his head.
"If I need a horse, I'll borrow one there. Tell Pa—"
"I will. You get going." Candy tipped his hat again to Lina. "Ma'am."
She dimpled. "Candy."
Hirschel had seen to the wagon and supplies by the time Joe and Lina returned to the Continental, and in a matter of minutes they were underway. The drive out to the Mallory ranch was mostly silent, each lost in thought and prayer. They arrived before Joe was ready … but then again, he would probably never be ready.
Not for something like this.
Lina relieved Haida, the Harwoods' housekeeper, of her responsibilities for cooking and caring for two-year-old Elizabeth, freeing the other woman to assist Doctor Martin with Gillian Harwood. Four-year-old Benny was already following Jamie like a shadow as the redhead completed various tasks around the yard, and Joe left his brother to it. Taking a deep breath, he pulled up a chair beside Leslie Harwood, who was sitting lost in misery and fear just outside the bedroom door. He clapped a firm hand on the man's shoulder, and Leslie glanced up. Harwood was one of the few he knew that Joe's loss included a child as well as a wife—he knew the depth of support that was being offered. He reached back for just a moment to grip Joe's hand fiercely, then sank back within himself.
It was enough, and Joe knew that it didn't matter what kind of memories the night brought back, no matter where it led. He had done the right thing, coming here.
It was a long, hard, exhausting night, but finally Paul Martin appeared in the doorway with his welcome news. Leslie seized Joe in a hard embrace, and then disappeared into the bedroom to be with his wife. Joe went in search of Lina and Jamie with an infinitely lighter heart.
"I am so very relieved."
"Yeah. Me too."
There wasn't much more to say, and they fell silent again. Joe watched the sun rise and the land grow bright around them. Lina grew heavy against him, as her breathing deepened and she finally gave in to sleep. A dog barked. The sounds of cattle and horses, the background of his entire life, danced at the edge of awareness. Jamie and Benny slumbered on.
It was … nice, this feeling of family—of watching over these people sprawled within the circle of his arm.
"Alice, I think I could … I could get used to holdin' somebody again."
~.~.~.~.~.
"Jamie got a new dog. A show dog—she's called an Irish Setter. Hair as red as his." Joe grinned. "Kid followed us all around the ranch begging until he had enough money borrowed, then bought her from her trainer without the owner's permission."
Lina raised an eyebrow. "It sounds rather as if she is a family dog."
"Oh, no. He's payin' us back, every cent. Except Hop Sing, he made it pretty clear he'd go back to China if Jamie or Pa offered again."
"Ah." Lina dimpled, sliding a pan of hot empanadas onto the counter. "And the owner does not want her back?"
"He did, but just to destroy her." She gaped. Joe nodded. "Said she was a runt, and that her head ain't shaped right. Bunch of other stuff." He shrugged. "I don't get it, she looks fine to me. I've never been much for show dogs, though. Anyway, Jamie and April - that's the dog - had to go through this whole hunting competition with one of the other setters, but he won her fair and square." Joe had been more than a little relieved. Jamie loved that dog. "I'm glad. Kid would have been pretty upset losin' her, just to know she was bein' put down."
Lina pursed her lips. "I do not understand such things, or such people. Even if the dog cannot be shown ..."
Honestly, Joe didn't really understand it either. Then again, he bred horses, which was an entirely different enterprise. He tried to pick up one of the empanadas and burned his fingers. She snickered softly.
"Actually, he can show her. Ain't nothing against it."
"Does he plan to, then?"
"Still workin' that out with Pa." Joe managed to get the treat into his mouth, chewing carefully so it didn't burn. "And Pa's letting Jamie keep her in the house." He shook his head. "He never let any of the rest of us keep a dog in the house."
That didn't sting. Of course it didn't. He was too old to dwell on things like that.
"I take it you tried at one point?"
"Oh, at several points." Of course, one of those had been a mutt that tried to bite Adam every time his brother came near. One had stopped to urinate every ten minutes. And one just stank, no matter how many baths Little Joe had given her. Pa might have had his reasons. Still ... "She almost killed me when I came in the other night, though."
Lina eyed him, biting back a smile. "Oh?"
"Yeah. I was comin' in from the poker game -"
"And what time was that?"
He waved the question away. "Don't matter. If a dog's gonna be in the house, it shouldn't be waking everybody up for no reason."
"Like ... a man sneaking into the house in the middle of the night?" Her eyes were dancing now.
"It's my house!"
"Hers too, it seems."
He ignored her. "I got halfway up the stairs, didn't realize she was sleepin' by the fire. The next thing I know, she's barking to wake the dead and coming up after me." Joe shook his head. "Scared five years right outa me."
Lina was laughing silently. "This is what woke the household, I assume?"
"Yeah." Joe flashed a grin, and stole another empanada. "She almost took my feet out from under me - I coulda gone over the railing backwards!" Because, that had never happened before. Her laughter grew audible. "Anyway, Pa and Jamie come running down the stairs. She's got me pinned in the landing corner, Pa's yellin' about getting her quiet, Jamie's trying to coax her back downstairs, which she ain't havin' any of because she's still after me, and ..." Lina slid slowly down the counter to sit on the floor. Laughter drifted after her. "And I just didn't want Pa to hear me come in!"
"Joselito ..." Her voice was strangled. "You are old enough to come home when you choose."
"I don't care about that!" Joe protested. "I owe him money, and I didn't want him takin' all my winnings right out of my pocket!"
A loud snort, and another round of laughter - this aimed primarily at herself. Joe thumped into the chair, satisfied, and tipped it back, stuffing the entire empanada into his mouth.
He did love makin' Lina Marquez laugh.
~.~.~.~.~.
Joe leaned against the wall, and watched the dancing, and thought about Lina.
He wished she was here.
He'd been thinking a lot about Lina lately - ever since that trip to Rio Lobo had gone all balls a while back. He and his little brother had busted into that old bunkhouse thinkin' Pa needed a rescue, and instead they found him in the middle of delivering a baby. Joe had been more than happy to round up the rest of the bad guys and herd them away, leaving his father and the lady's husband to that task, but when he and little brother came back ... When they came back, Ben had held up the newly delivered babe and laughed, and the light in his pa's eyes broke Joe's heart.
He wanted that for his pa.
He wanted that for himself.
He wanted again. Joe had been just floating for so long, living each day as it came without caring or even noticing where he was headed, that the longing ache caught him completely by surprise.
He wanted to love a woman again. He wanted to laugh with her, to talk in hushed tones on the porch after the day was done, to hold her in their bed beneath a rain-patterned roof. He wanted to feel her skin and hair against him. He wanted to cry with her when life got too hard - because it usually did. He wanted be a father, to make his pa a grandfather and his brothers uncles. He wanted to help Jamie grow into a good man, and to care for Pa and Hop Sing as they stepped into old age.
He wanted someone beside him - a partner, a helpmate.
He wanted to be that for somebody else.
He wanted, and it was overwhelming. Painful. Terrifying. Invigorating.
"Joe? How have you been?"
Joe looked toward John Hirschel. "Good, real good." He motioned with his glass, taking in the music and blazing chandelier and glittering mass of people. "Great party."
Hirschel smiled, radiating content. "Marianne and the girls have been planning it for months. Lina did most of the baking for it - but I'm sure you can tell."
Of course he could. Probably nobody in Virginia City was as familiar with Lina Marquez's baked goods as Joe Cartwright, and her employer was more than aware. Joe grinned acknowledgment.
"So, fifty years." Joe raised his glass. "Congratulations, John. How did you two do it?"
"We laughed." Hirschel swallowed his whiskey - good, smooth stuff - and clapped Joe's shoulder. "For us, that made all the rest easier."
Joe grinned, though probably not for the reason his host expected. It was just that the words fit so snugly into his own recent musings. Yep, he could laugh. He wanted to laugh again. He and Alice had done that, though his wife had been a quiet woman. Subtle. Even her laughter was demure. Lina, now ... if Lina was here, he'd be hearin' her above everybody else in the room. Probably too loud for the present company, actually. And then she would realize and be embarrassed, and he would have to coax her out of it, because ... who really cared about that?
What could possibly be wrong with laughing too loud?
"I'm glad you made it tonight, Joe. Thanks for coming." Hirschel shook hands, and wandered off to the next guest.
Joe settled back, sipping his drink.
"Joseph? You all right?"
That was Pa. Always watching, always worried. Joe didn't want that for him anymore.
"Yeah, Pa. I'm good. You?"
"Doing well." Ben nodded to a passing banker. "Good party."
"Yeah." Joe snickered. "You watchin' this?" He nodded across the room, where three young ladies had his brother backed into a corner. Jamie was starting to look desperate, and Ben chuckled into his glass.
"That boy's gotta learn to stand up for himself."
"He'll get it."
Ben grimaced. "What, like you? I don't need another heart breaker on my hands."
"Well." Joe giggled softly. "I turned out okay, didn't I?"
"Yeah." His pa's hand came up to squeeze the back of his neck. "Yeah, son, you sure did."
Joe eyed the swirl in the Continental's big front room. He knew most of the ladies here — had known many for a good chunk of his life. Some were beauties, some were plain. Some were false, some genuine. Some were scheming, some were prim, some were entirely too self-centered for their own good. Some were kinder and more generous than he could ever hope to be. This was the cream of Virginia City society. Time was, he'd have been out in the center of everything, flirtin' and dancin' with every one of them, young and old. Drivin' his Pa and brothers nuts because he never got tired of it. He never got tired of them.
He wanted more now, though, than just flirting and kisses out back. He had been married once, he knew what it could be. And tonight, he didn't really care to dance with any of them.
His mind was made up.
Joe shivered, nerves playing suddenly in his gut. Nothing was settled, of course - he'd be surprising the heck out of her, and he had no notion what she'd think of the idea - but his mind was made up all the same.
He was ... happy. Yeah. He really was.
~.~.~.~.~.
Episodes referenced in this chapter:
The Reluctant American (S12)
The Bucket Dog (S14)
Ambush at Rio Lobo (S14)